19. Chapter 19
Michaela
A groan reverberated through my chest. A response to the aches in my head and bones. I blinked, eyelids heavy with exhaustion. It felt like the time I’d pulled an all-nighter before the state championship for debate team. Hazy, confused, and regretting everything. Worst of all, worried I was about to lose everything.
Where was I?
My eyes started to focus, but nothing felt right.
Bricks.
Not like the red ones that made paths and walls at home, but gray and thick, hand-carved even, old…
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. It had to be the remnants of a dream. Maybe I wasn’t fully awake yet and the wisps of my subconscious were still masking the world around me. But nothing helped. The room came into focus faster and fear started to take hold.
Gray stone walls, open windows that displayed nothing but darkening sky, and iron shackles that hung from the wall on rusted eye hooks. Dread rose in my chest as I searched out an exit, but as I twisted, my heart clenched.
She watched me, silent in the shadows, face calm and unreadable, lips sealed with no hope of giving away her secrets. Every ounce of my surging terror abruptly morphed into anger.
“You!” I charged forward, ready to go middle-school violent on her, reverting back to a time when no one thought of consequences or control. But as fast as I tried to lunge at her, my body pitched back as if an anvil weighed down my frame. Whiplash threw me in reverse. Pain shrieked in my shoulders, elbows, and wrists as the restraints bit down and kept me imprisoned.
“There’s no point in getting worked up. You won’t be able to move. Not with those ropes in place.” Sadie’s sad face tipped with pity. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
“Then here’s an idea,” rage boiled in every one of my words, “don’t tie me to a chair in the first place!”
She sighed and shook her head. “It wasn’t my idea.” Her arm waved in my direction. “Not this or anything else for that matter.”
Was she trying to get my sympathy? If she thought she was going to play victim after she’d roped me to a chair like a hostage in a cheap action movie, she had to be crazy.
“Then untie me.” I jerked against the ropes, but only pain answered my request. Someone had fastened them with a strength I was sure Sadie didn’t possess. She wasn’t working alone.
“I’m sorry.” I barely heard her whisper. “I can’t. I don’t have a choice.”
“What do you mean, you don’t have a choice?” Panic started to rise in my chest, but ranting helped expel the energy. “There’s always a choice.”
“Not for me.” She squared her shoulders. “And, unfortunately, not for you. Not anymore.”
“Not for…” My voice trailed off as I took in my surroundings with a new horrified perspective. What was this place? I would think dungeon because of the stones and shackles, except I could see the painted sky from the setting sun. Fitz said the palace didn’t have a dungeon anyway. He always joked about sending me to the… tower.
I’d finally ended up there after all.
No one would find me in the tower. It was separated from the palace, a turret that rose up behind the structure with nothing surrounding it but the pitched roofs and sheer drop offs that made up the rest of the palace. Even if I screamed, who would hear me?
A stiff breeze slipped through the open arches. I would freeze to death before anyone ever thought to look for me. The fear became a beast inside of me, ravenous and full of spite, determined to squash out my reason and logic without leaving any hope. A scream burbled in my chest, eager to break free, but as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t lose it. Not yet. Not without some answers.
Last I remembered, we were in the storage cellar. Sadie was smaller than I was, no way could she pull me through the palace without anyone seeing her.
“How’d you get me up here?”
Sadie didn’t deny my insinuation that we were in the tower, but she also didn’t appear ready to give me much more information either. “That’s not important.”
“As the one tied to a chair, I have to disagree, because I think it means you have a partner and that feels really important to me.” I narrowed my eyes. “Who is it? Queen Mariah? Kabir? One of the maids or security officers? Who?”
“I can’t tell you that.” She crossed her arms and turned away. “They won’t be pleased that I’ve spoken with you.”
“Then they can get used to not being pleased because I deserve answers.” I knew better than to jerk against the ropes again, but it didn’t stop me from wanting to. “Because this is a lot just to make sure you end up as the new queen.”
“I don’t care about that. It was never important to me.”
“What?” Tears sprang to my eyes over my frustration with her answer. “Then why are you doing this?” Even as my volume rose, Sadie didn’t flinch. No part of her was worried that I might alert someone. “This is criminal! You’ve abducted me, tied me up, and for all I know, you plan to leave me to rot. What could motivate you to—”
“Love!” she snapped back. “I’ve done all of it for love. The kind of love you would never understand. The kind that endures and sacrifices. Love that extends beyond all boundaries of reason.” Tears rolled over her cheeks. “Love, Michaela. I would do anything, pay any cost, for love.”
I understood her drive but hated that we were talking about the same person. The same feelings existed in my heart for Fitz, but she couldn’t possibly have developed the same connection in such a short amount of time.
“Look I know Fitz… I mean Leonidas is handsome and sweet, and sure the power is probably alluring, but I don’t think—”
Her face twisted into frustration and anger. “Not the prince! I would sooner swallow hot coals than choose to marry him.”
Color me baffled, what was she talking about then?
“I told you I was in love before I came here.” Sadie’s gaze went distant. “My first kiss and my love, Tauriq.”
I nodded slowly. “And you said he…”
“Died,” she confirmed. Blinking rapidly to dispel the tears she added, “He might as well have. It’s his life that hangs in the balance.”
She wanted to talk; I could feel it. All this time, she’d been holding onto secrets and this was her chance to spill them if I was willing to listen. “Start at the beginning. It’s not like I’m going anywhere, right?” When she tightened her lips like a lock, I tried again. “Maybe I can help you find a way out of this mess.”
Those same tight lips turned inward as she fought back more tears. “No one can.”
Sadie turned away from me and walked to the open window. The golden hues of the sunset had faded from a vibrant shade to muted memories. Soon, I would be surrounded by darkness. Every chance of escape lessened as the light faded away.
Still, I waited, hoping Sadie would break her silence, but once again, she was stuck in memories far away. Maybe I was na?ve to think she would want to tell me anything. We weren’t friends. We weren’t even competitors anymore, not with me hidden away in the tower. Whatever her endgame, I would have to wait to watch it unfold firsthand.
Her voice broke the stillness. “Apothecary isn’t permitted in Eshein.” She didn’t face me and I didn’t speak, too afraid I would break whatever peace she’d found that allowed her words to flow. “But we don’t have access to medicine either and without options, too many would have died.” The muscles in her face flinched as though it was too hard to control them completely. “I practiced in secret, careful to not let those in power know what I could do. Tauriq and I planned to leave Nolcovia once we had enough money. Go to a place that would appreciate my talents as a healer.”
I leaned forward, waiting for the next segment of her story. Clearly, she’d suffered before the competition, but that didn’t explain how I’d ended up in the tower or why she couldn’t let me go.
“Somehow, my secret got out. Men approached me, hoping I could come up with something that might incapacitate someone. They spoke of patriotism, of bringing Eshein back into a position of power, and they offered to pay the kind of money I might never see in a lifetime.” Regret haunted her eyes as she looked at me. “I made what they wanted. Something undetectable because it was completely natural. Something that would weaken a person slowly over time, but not kill them. They said their target was an enemy to Nolcovia and that I would be doing a great service to the country.”
How many good people over the course of human history had been told the same lies? How many good people were willing to hurt and kill in the name of patriotic pride and promise of reward? But the question still remained: Was Sadie one of the good ones?
“The money allowed me to expand and help more people, but with that, my risk increased. It was harder to keep my secret hidden. Tauriq wanted to leave, but I thought…” She didn’t finish, but I had an idea.
I knew the allure of success and that feeling of traction that comes with making decent money. The first time I sold a dress I’d made, I felt like the world was in my grasp. I would have done anything to hang onto that feeling.
“I thought I could change things. I thought I had a chance to make the world better for those who were trapped in the poverty of Eshein, so I didn’t leave. And Tauriq wouldn’t go without me.” Her regret deepened. “If only I’d listened. If only I hadn’t made that elixir to begin with. By the time I understood their plans… the king was already dying.”
My heart sank. His sickness. The disease. That was Sadie’s doing?
“They’d used my poison over time. In his food, his soaps, his drinks, all random so it could not be tracked and would remain inconsistent.” She shut her eyes, as though the weight of her confession had forced them to close. “I was slowly killing the king, but even when I learned what I’d done, I felt no remorse. He’d left us to suffer under his rule and I hoped his son would extend mercy when he rose to power. In my eyes, I was doing the country a service in hastening a change of power.”
It was in my nature to try to understand, but she was talking about murder, assassination, and a political coup d'état, even if she wasn’t directly poisoning him herself.
“But then I saw him in person. The king came to Eshein to meet with advisors. He saw the truth of what we were facing and… he wanted to help us. He made plans to strengthen our economy, fix the infrastructure, and there was talk of removing the corrupt leaders from office.” Pain gripped her features, emotions taking a physical toll. “I couldn’t go through with it any longer. Without the poison administered constantly, I knew he would return to his normal strength. It would look like a miraculous healing and my conscience would be clear.”
Obviously, that hadn’t happened. Shadows crept across the window, creatures come to life, spawned from darkness and defeat. The sun must have slipped below the horizon. I watched the darkness capture her features, cloaking her expression so that I had to lean forward and squint to see.
“I told them. I told the men that I refused to go along any longer. I told them they would have to kill me before I was willing to hurt the king any more.” Even the growing shadows couldn’t hide her deep anguish. “But if I thought death was the worst they could do to me, I was wrong.” Her voice turned to steel, as if she had to sever contact with all emotion in order to survive the rest of her story. “They took Tauriq. They told me I had to follow their plan or they would execute him.”
Fear almost kept me from asking, but I needed to understand. “And what was their plan?”
Void of feeling, she spoke as if she were repeating their directions verbatim. “I would enter the raffle for a chance to attain the prince’s heart, they would ensure I won, and I would do my best to stay in the competition. If I won, and I convinced the prince to marry me, they would let Tauriq live. But if I failed, or if I refused, he would be tortured and killed in front of me.”
“And who are they ?”
“People stronger than I ever hope to be.”
I’d grown tired of the cryptic speech pattern. Answers were all I wanted at this point. Those, and for my wrists not to be bound up with ropes tight enough to slice my skin every time I moved.
“Sadie,” I forced my voice to level out, “I know this feels dire. Maybe you even feel trapped, but the prince cares about you. If you level with him, I bet he could help you. He’ll know what to do and he’ll—”
“There’s no time for that.” She turned away, wringing her hands together. “The queen is planning to push for a wedding tonight. Everyone is talking about it. I handed over my final vial of elixir. Once they dose the king, he won’t come back, not without the antidote.”
Wait, what? My attention pricked.
“There’s an antidote?” If I sounded too eager, I was sure she would shut down all conversation. Rather, I tried to act like I was in awe of her prowess. Easier to butter her up than to bully her. “I didn’t know you could make such a thing.”
“I had to.” She spoke to herself. “It was too easy to accidentally ingest it through my skin while I brewed it. To be cautious, every time I handled it, I took a dose of the antidote, just to be sure.”
She’d handled it here at the palace. Did that mean she had vials of the antidote handy?
“In fact,” she reached into a fold of her skirt and removed a small vial of rusty-orange liquid, “I have one on me at all times. It’s proven a valuable inclination, all things considered.”
“What do you mean? When did you have to use it?”
Maybe it was in the heart of every mastermind, the need to share their secrets, but she weighed her options before she spoke.
“The interview. My… employers… wanted the king to be sick on live broadcast, to show the people just how far he’d fallen.” Sadness briefly overtook her expression, but she pushed it back. “I coated the food in the poison, a heavy dose to be sure he would fall apart quickly.”
I thought back to the interview and the way Esme had nervously eaten the grapes and crackers. “I thought it was a bug that made Esmerey sick…”
“Yes,” Sadie nodded, “I was lucky it found its way inside. No one suspected, not after she slapped at her neck so loudly and then collapsed within a minute or two.”
“But… you ate the food too.” I watched her carefully, unwilling to believe she’d done all of this without me seeing anything. “But you didn’t pull out an antidote at any point. You ate at least as much as she did. Maybe more.”
“I drank it before the interview.” Sadie shrugged as if her genius was not something worth celebrating. “It made me immune for the next hour.” When my face gave away my shock over her callous behavior, she waved me off. “Esmerey is fine. No lasting effects. Within a couple days she recovered. Spooked…” Sadie smirked at the memory, “… but recovered. Besides,” her gaze darted away, “she wasn’t the intended target. She ate almost nothing during her time here, I never would have expected her to indulge. You, on the other hand, I’ve seen you nervously pack away food like a Norwegian field mouse.”
I started to take offense to her putting me on par with vermin, but the underlying message took hold. “You meant to poison me .”
Her lips pressed together, but she didn’t deny it. “Esmerey was never my competition. If I have any chance at Tauriq tasting freedom again, I have to win the crown. It wasn’t personal. I knew you’d get sick and they would send you home. It was born of mercy more than anything else. I wanted to save you from this end.”
“How benevolent,” I snapped back. “And if you killed me along the way, all the better, right?”
“It was the best option, all matters considered.” Sadie shook her head sadly. “You were dead the moment you entered the country, Michaela. Anyone as close to Leonidas as you are has a target on their head.”
My heart clenched. What was she saying? Was that a threat?
“Enough of this,” sadness weighted her voice, “there are pertinent matters to attend to.” She moved to the shadows of the room and returned with a notepad and pen. “I need you to write a letter.”
“What kind of letter?” I wasn’t about to do her any favors.
“One that will urge your Prince Fitz to move on and marry me instead of you. Surely, you’ve considered how wrong your relationship is for this country, yes? Or how much you don’t belong together, not really.” She motioned at the pad. “Put that in there. Explain that you’ve returned to America and that you don’t want to hear from him again.”
My glare became a dagger. I’d helped her. I’d sacrificed for her. There was a time when she was my first pick for him. The betrayal burned.
“It won’t work.” I jerked against the ropes for a visual aid. “First of all, my hands are tied behind my back and he knows my handwriting, so you can’t fake it.” Arrogance surged in my chest, reveling in the first upper hand I’d earned since I’d regained consciousness. “Second, why on earth would I ever do something like that for you? You have no leverage. What’s your threat? You’ll kill me? Close as I can tell, that’s already the plan, isn’t it?”
Weary with my words, Sadie spoke slowly, giving each sentence a moment to stand. “I’ll untie you so that you can write the letter. One hand only.” Her lips pursed together for a moment as if the next part wasn’t something she wanted to say. “As for leverage, even without your letter, I will marry the prince tonight. If out of nothing but duty and desperation, we will wed. But if you do not write the letter, I swear to you, I’ll make his life miserable.” She leaned forward, her volume dropping to a sinister whisper that sent chills up my spine. “Powders that leave unexplained boils on his skin. Liver disease from tainted drinks. Lung scarring from the fumes in his shower. Nothing strong enough to kill him, just enough to torture him for the rest his life… unless you comply.”
My skin went cold in an instant. It wasn’t a bluff. She could do all of it, and more. And she understood the power of threatening torture against the one I loved because it was the same net that had ensnared her. It made me sick. Was I really so powerless? Could I do nothing to protect Fitz from this trap?
“Are you willing?” Her volume returned, seemingly buoyed by regaining her power in this struggle.
“Yes,” I whispered, hoping she saw it as defeat. I averted my gaze as she shifted to the back of the chair and started to untie the ropes. I still had a window of opportunity. I would write her letter, but with one hand free, maybe I could overpower her, break down the door, and escape to warn Fitz.
I had to. I was his only hope.