Chapter 14
“Hey, are you feeling okay?” Stacey knocked. The door wasn’t latched, so when it swung in on its own, she pushed it the rest of the way. “Whoa, hey. What’s going on?”
“I’m leaving. That’s what’s going on.” Julie snagged a sweater from the dresser drawer. It was one of her favorites, a soft knit in a cream color, and she chucked it as hard as she could into her suitcase.
“You don’t have to take it out on your clothing.” Stacey snagged the next incoming sweater in midair. She shook it out and set it on the bed, where she folded it delicately. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”
Julie recognized that tone of voice. It was the Gentle Mom voice, concerned and trying to de-escalate the situation.
She’d used it plenty of times herself. Julie didn’t want to hear it right now because nothing could actually fix this problem.
Then, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.
Her face was red from crying off and on all night.
She’d run a brush through her hair, but the effort had barely tamed it.
She looked like a literal hot mess, and seeing that made her realize just how exhausted she was.
Julie slumped down onto the bed. “Where do I even start?”
“You could tell me why you didn’t come down for dinner last night,” Stacey suggested softly. She put the folded sweater in the suitcase and then plucked out the crumpled cream one. “It sounded like you weren’t feeling well, but now I’m starting to think there’s more to the story.”
“Oh, there is.” Julie ran a hand through her hair since it was messed up anyway.
She hadn’t wanted to tell Stacey what’d happened.
It didn’t seem fair to get her caught between her friend and her brother-in-law, but now she realized the least she owed her was an explanation. “I was trying to avoid Will.”
“Mm.” Stacey replaced the now-folded cream sweater in the suitcase. “Dylan said he was acting strangely last night. He didn’t have dinner with us, either. Were you guys avoiding each other for some reason?”
“I don’t see what he has to avoid at all, considering he told me he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.
No,” she corrected herself. “That’s not exactly it.
He told me point-blank that our differences make it impossible for us to have any kind of relationship, yet he’s still willing to play Santa and slide down my chimney while I’m here. ”
“Ew. Okay.” Stacey took a breath and blinked as she processed this. “I don’t understand. I thought the two of you were working on things. You guys looked like you were doing okay at dinner the other night, and then you went out on his boat with him.”
“Don’t feel bad, because I don’t understand, either.
The only thing I know is that I’m a complete idiot for ever thinking I could trust him or that we had a snowball’s chance in hell.
He’s a jerk. I knew that right from the start.
You can tell just by the way he holds himself and the way he talks.
That fucking asshole thinks he’s God’s gift to women.
Well, I think he’s more like a lump of coal in the bottom of a stocking.
” Unable to sit still, Julie stood and resumed packing.
Since she had a witness, she tried to do it a little more nicely this time.
Stacey continued to help, rearranging here and there to make the most use of the space. “Will isn’t always an easy person to get along with, but he’s changed quite a bit since I first got to know him. I don’t know why he would say those things to you. I can talk to him if you’d like.”
“No,” Julie said quickly, whirling around from the dresser to face her friend.
“Definitely not. I’ve already caused way too much upheaval in your household, and at Christmas, no less.
Everyone has inadvertently gotten caught up in whatever is or isn’t between Will and me, and I’m already embarrassed enough. ”
Reaching out to grab Julie’s bag of toiletries before it got thrown too hard, Stacey shook her head.
“I completely understand why you feel that way, but it’s nothing you did.
You can’t help that there was some chemistry between yourself and Will, and I think you only owed it to yourself to explore that and see what might or might not come out of it.
As for everyone else, well, that seems to be the Brigham way.
They might have separate houses, but that’s merely a formality.
This is the closest family I’ve ever encountered.
My own family is small enough that I really just have Mom.
My ex’s family barely even texted each other on the holidays, and when they did get together, it felt like a funeral.
As a matter of fact, it might only have been at funerals.
Anyway, that’s not the point. The Brighams are a big family, but they’re always in each other’s business.
I don’t want you to take that as anything you’ve done, and you definitely shouldn’t feel like you’ve messed anything up. ”
Julie knew Stacey wouldn’t lie to her even to make her feel better, but her words were only somewhat comforting. “I appreciate that, but I can’t change what’s happened now.”
“I really wonder what did happen,” Stacey mused. “Did you guys have an argument or anything?”
“No. Those Malone jerks scared the hell out of me, but otherwise, I thought things were fine.” Julie gave a short, ironic laugh.
“As a matter of fact, as far as I could tell, Will was doing everything in his power to convince me that we should be together. He took a chance and showed me his bear to try to help me understand. He took every opportunity he could to talk to me. He always wanted me on his boat or with him in some other way. I thought I was the one who was hesitant.”
“To be honest so did I. And I don’t blame you,” Stacey added. “I mean, the whole shifter thing is a lot. No one could expect to just be cool with it immediately, not when you didn’t even know it existed.”
“I sure as hell do now,” Julie replied blearily.
She glanced around the room, suddenly feeling lost as she tried to gather all her things.
It shouldn’t be that hard to toss everything together, but right now, it felt impossible.
Everything did. She once again sank onto the bed.
“I’ve worked really hard to understand it as quickly as I could, to see things through their eyes.
It was the children who convinced me most of all. ”
“Ruby and Arden?” Stacey asked.
“Your kids, too,” Julie admitted, seeing the surprise on her friend’s face. She smiled. “Those kids are big advocates, in case you didn’t know. They think it’s great being here surrounded by people who can turn into animals.”
“I’ve hoped so, but it’s still good to hear,” Stacey admitted.
Julie sighed. “But the truth is that even if there are a lot of great people here, Will isn’t someone I can be around any longer.
I’m too frustrated with him, and I’m starting to feel like he used me just to fill in the lonely holidays.
He’s your family, so it’s not like I expect him to leave just because he and I aren’t getting along. So I’m going home.”
“But what about Christmas?” Stacey asked, reaching across the suitcase between them and putting a hand on Julie’s leg. “I don’t want you to be alone.”
“I’ll be fine. Honestly, trying to force this will only make the holiday more miserable for me and everyone else involved.
I’ll go back to my apartment. I can curl up on the couch with a cheesy movie and a glass of wine.
I’ll take a hot bath while I stuff my face with Christmas cookies.
I’ll eat pizza in bed. Whatever. Who’s going to stop me? ”
“I get it. I’m just worried about you.”
“Don’t be. I—oh.” Julie’s phone was buzzing on the nightstand. She glanced at the screen. “It’s Molly.”
“I’ll slip out and let you talk to her,” Stacey suggested, getting up.
“No.” It pained her to do so, but Julie dismissed the incoming video call. “You can stay. I can’t talk to Molly right now. She’ll know in a second that I’ve been crying, and I don’t want her to see me like this.”
Stacey didn’t sit back down yet, lingering near the side of the bed. “Had you told her about Will?”
“Hell, no,” Julie snorted, “and it’s a damn good thing I didn’t. I don’t want her to think I’m just floundering through life now that she’s not living at home. I already feel pathetic, but I don’t want to look that way in front of her.”
“Oh, honey. Come here.” Stacey opened her arms.
Julie stood and fell into those arms. She laid her head on Stacey’s shoulder.
If she’d had any tears left, they’d be soaking Stacey’s blouse within a few seconds, but she’d already allowed herself to cry it out overnight.
For the moment, she just sank into the comfort of someone who understood and accepted her, no matter what she was going through.
Molly would’ve done the same, she knew, but she didn’t want to put that burden on her daughter.
Eventually, all of this heartache would go away, and she’d never have to think about Will Brigham again.
After a minute, Stacey pulled back and looked her in the eye.
“I’ll be honest with you. I don’t want you to leave.
I think there must be some terrible misunderstanding, something that can be cleared up if everyone just sits down to talk for a bit.
But I also know that could just be wishful thinking on my behalf.
If you have even the least bit of interest in staying, I’ll do whatever I can to help.
But of course, I’m also happy to take you to the ferry if you really are determined to leave.
” She brushed Julie’s wild hair back from her face.
“Thank you. I really do think it’s best that I go,” Julie admitted.
“Okay.” Stacey ran her hands down Julie’s arms and squeezed her elbows before she let go. “I’m going to give you some time while I check the ferry schedule. I know they don’t run very often this time of year. I’ll let you know.”
“Sounds good.” When Stacey had gone, Julie turned to look back at her disaster of a room.
Clothes flopped out of the dresser drawers and hung limply in the closet.
The open bathroom door displayed an array of makeup and hygiene products that still remained, looking scattered.
She’d enjoyed staying in this room, and in some ways, it’d been nicer than a hotel.
Of course, most hotels didn’t come with a cocky guy in a Santa costume who was just looking for a good time.
Slowly, Julie resumed packing. She didn’t know how quickly she’d be able to get on a ferry, but she wanted to be ready the moment Stacey told her she could go.
The Brigham home was big and comfortable, but it wasn’t a welcoming place for her anymore.
She picked up the jewelry she’d dropped in a little dish on the dresser the night before.
The little Christmas tree earrings had been festive and cute, but now they just reflected how misplaced her hope had been.
Julie felt like she’d ruined Christmas for everyone.
Dylan and Stacey had gladly opened their home to her.
Regardless of what Stacey wanted to believe, Julie had done nothing but create drama ever since she’d arrived.
Her own Christmas, which she’d thought would be merry and bright while she spent it with friends, had gone straight down the toilet.
Even Molly had to be affected somewhat, knowing that her mom was having a hard time dealing.
With the jewelry tended to, Julie moved over to the desk where she’d left her laptop and notes for work.
She couldn’t help but glance out the window as she approached.
It was a view she’d become accustomed to enjoying, even in wintertime.
Someone was down on the beach, and it only took a second for her to recognize that it was Will.
He was playing fetch with Barney, his muscular arm tossing a stick as hard as he could.
The dog kicked up sand as he raced after it, and when he arrived at his destination, he was so excited he could barely pause long enough to pick the stick up.
He managed, though, and he hurtled back to Will, triumphant.
Apparently, she hadn’t ruined Christmas for everyone. Will seemed just fine, the jerk.
Well, that was all the proof she needed that she was doing the right thing by getting away from him.
She’d go home, and maybe she’d even drag out the little tabletop Christmas tree she had in storage.
Julie could buy herself a gift, too. She deserved at least a little something.
It would still be sad, but she could say she did her best.
She turned away from the window and away from Will.
She’d only known him briefly, yet she noticed she felt like she was starting over.
It was the same sensation of loss she’d had when she divorced Molly’s father, but that was ridiculous.
It was just the time of year, making everything seem a little more important than it really was.
Once the New Year started and she was back in the office, she’d forget about this whole thing.