Jade
Chapter thirty-eight
Coop sits at the kitchen table doing his homework while I apply for jobs. I'm still seething from the bomb Mateo dropped on me a few days ago. The stubborn part of me wants to pull Coop from Prudell Academy, but what kind of mom would that make me?
The scholarship funding wasn't about me. It was about Coop, and I can't take that from him. I won't.
But I also can't bring myself to say thank you.
So that makes me a shitty person, I've been called worse.
Just the other day in fact. By Addie.
She still hasn't answered my call, but she's responding to texts. Albeit one-word answers, but it's progress.
I knew how intertwined our lives were with her family, but I don't think it registered until last night when we stayed home, on a Sunday. I splurged on pizza, but even that didn't lift mine or Coop's mood.
The internet is cruel, but kids are worse.
He's had to deal with his share of questions, which forced me to look up the photos that exploded our lives.
I don't even remember kissing Mateo that day we got ice cream.
It almost makes it worse. At least if I remembered doing it, I could feel something besides anger.
It feels like a lie. But there it was, in full color, my lips on his, his hand on my hip.
I see it every time I close my eyes. The pixels are engraved on the back of my eyelids, a penance for my sins.
If that was the only picture that surfaced, we may have been able to sweep the whole thing under the rug, even claim the woman in the photo isn't me. But I'm not that lucky. Never have been.
Us walking hand in hand behind Coop. I don't remember that either. Was it all a fever dream? Is love a fever dream?
Love?
I know I shouldn't, but I pull up the first leaked photo. Again. Punishing myself has become a daily ritual.
She's his fucking assistant. He's literally paying her to sleep with him.
Do we know they're sleeping together?
The reply is a screenshot of the Friendsgiving photo.
Dude, he's almost old enough to be her dad.
My cousin went to school with her, she's like 24 or 25.
I find Addie's InASnap account. She's made it private and removed me from her followers.
It's likely a text will go unanswered, but I try anyway.
Can we talk please? In person?
Addie
At lake.
Oh, right, Christmas is in a few days.
I came home the other day to wrapped gifts at my front door.
A few for Cooper, and a large box for me.
I didn't bother to read the tags, I know who they're from.
Which is why they're tucked away in my closet.
I might give Coop his on Christmas, but I wonder if it will make this all harder than it already is.
I want to scream into the void.
But what's worse?
I want to hit apples.