Chapter 34
My fingers cross as I plait my hair back in two French braids, my right shoulder aching in the awkward position.
The bathroom light reveals the love bites Enzo has left all over my neck.
The reminder of the way he claims me, marking his territory, makes my pussy clench.
I used to hate what I saw in the mirror.
All the bruises from Alexey have faded in my time here, and all that remains are the marks of my psycho devil.
It makes me proud, like I’ve earned his battle scars and I hope he feels the same. I’ve left as many on him, although his are harder to see due to his bronzed complexion.
As I run my fingertips over them, a ping on my phone alerts me to an email and I pray it’s not from Clarabell. I just showered and got ready for bed. Being a fake doctor is exhausting…
Opening my phone, I click into the email.
Baby,
Be ready tomorrow morning by 9am.
Please.
Enzo Alessi
The better-looking CEO & Founder | Divino
Simp for Dr. Lucy Sinclair
A laugh bursts out of me when I read his signature.
Enzo Baby,
Please tell me that is not your actual signature?
Lucy Sinclair, MD.
Alessi House Physician
Climbing into bed, I await his response, but I don’t get one via email. Instead, my phone buzzes.
I settle myself before answering. “Enzo.”
“Baby.” His smooth, deep voice makes my entire body tense with anticipation. The things this man can do to my body, it’s unhealthy, unfair, and entirely wanted.
“What nefarious things have you planned for us tomorrow?”
“Well, there’s this gala coming up in a few days and I need a date.”
I shoot up in bed, my spine snapping straight. Is he asking me…to a dance? My teenage dreams of going to prom float right before me. This gala won’t be anything like a sweet, innocent prom but it’s the closest thing a mafia assassin and the man she’s meant to murder could get.
“Yeah. You think Sasha would say yes if I asked?”
A fire hotter than hell itself burns through my chest. He’s got to be fucking kidding, right?
My tongue slips before I can process it all, choosing violence per default.
“Enzo, klyanus' Bogom, yesli ty seychas govorish' vser'yoz, ya pererezhu tebe glotku i sdelayu iz tvoyego yazyka galstuk dlya tvoyey tupoy zadnitsy!”
My breaths are hot and heavy, and not in a good way, after I threaten to slit his throat and turn his tongue into a neck tie for his stupid gala, but he chuckles. Good thing he has no idea what I cursed, he might find it a bit grotesque for Lucy Sinclair…
“Calm, baby. I wanted to hear you curse at me in Russian. Gets me fucking hard.” A long pause stretches on as I tell the psycho bitching inside me to simmer.
Images of Sasha on his arm make my jealous bitch murdery.
Accompanying those images, I also see a vivid depiction of me straddling her and rearranging her facial features with my knives…
Calm your tits, Katya. We only murder filthy scumbags, remember?
I could make an exception.
“Baby…” Enzo drawls when I don’t respond. “Are you planning my murder?”
“Yes,” I snap.
“Make it hot.”
My feet meet the floor as I walk out to the balcony, letting the cold December ocean air cool me down. “Enzo. I swear to God—”
“I love the possessive side of you. But Lucy, I would never dream of having anyone else on my arm. Will you please accompany me to the Alessi Christmas Eve Gala?”
His sweet confession calms me more than anything else ever could and I sigh, “Yes. As long as you don’t piss me off until then. Which is highly unlikely.”
“Pissing you off, Little Doc, gets me hard as fucking stone, why would I stop? I love when you look at me like you want to kill me. Be ready in the morning, you need a dress. And I need to rip one off you. See you in my dreams, baby.”
“I’ll be waiting in your nightmares, Enzo Baby.”
***
After unbraiding my hair, letting it fall in thick waves behind my back, I decide to forgo the glasses and dress in an off-white pantsuit and deep blue blouse. I wear the same heel size I plan to wear to the gala so I can make sure my dress length is appropriate.
Walking down the steps, excitement and anticipation build inside me, cresting when Nova beams up at me.
“Hot. You’re such a smoke show, Lucy!” she says, bounding up to me and hugging her arms around my shoulders. I return the hug, a bit stunned.
A joyous youth radiates from her and for the first time she looks every bit of seventeen. I glance around, taking in the empty foyer. “Thank you. Are you…waiting for someone? I thought Dante was out of town?” My heart rate picks up. Maybe he returned early?
“We are going shopping!” She jumps up and down twice before looping her arm through mine and hauling me toward the door. “Enzo’s already in the car. I was waiting for you.”
When I climb into the car, Enzo takes me in, his onyx irises deepening and a devilish smirk lifts one corner of his mouth. “Beautiful as ever, baby.”
“What about me?” Nova pretends to pout as she makes a show of her burgundy sun dress and tight, thigh high boots.
“If I compliment you, my girl might slit your throat, Nova Baby.” Enzo winks at her and I scoff.
“Please, Nova’s the only one I actually like in this house.”
“Then you must love me?” Enzo fires back without missing a beat and I inhale sharply.
I freeze in surprise because his words aren’t completely untrue.
Do I…love Enzo Alessi? Is that what this sick, twisted feeling in my stomach is?
The feeling of floating free in a world of new possibilities while also feeling grounded and secure for the first time in my life?
Is that…love?
“Oh God, Enzo! You’ve made her pale as a ghost!” Nova gasps and snaps her fingers in front of my face. “Earth to Lucy. Enzo was kidding, he doesn’t mean it, right, Enzo?”
“Wrong,” he remarks, reclining back into the black leather seat, arms coming up and fingers linking behind his head. “I said what I said.”
He’s fucking crazy. I have no response, only the dread in my chest, circling like sharks around an organ I’m two seconds from throwing at the men…man…fuck.
How do I split my heart in two?
Why is this even a possibility floating around inside my mind?
It’s not.
While I have a mental breakdown, Nova fills the remainder of the drive talking about the different dresses she wants to try, ultimately deciding she’s completely undecided and will have to try on all the ones in her size. She rambles on but my mind remains trapped ten miles ago.
When we arrive at the boutique, I kick Enzo out and lock the doors, demanding from our driver to keep him out for a couple minutes. He bangs on the glass, and I roll it down a touch. “Go away, I need girl time.”
He rolls his eyes before crossing his arms and leaning against the door of the SUV.
“Enzo totally freaked you out,” Nova says, already reading into what I need.
“Do you think he…loves me? He can’t love me, Nova.” My lungs feel like they’re spasming. I can’t breathe.
“Lucy, he didn’t say he loved you, and if I’m being honest, which I’m going to be because it’s what you deserve,” she scoots closer, holding my hands in hers, “I don’t think he’s capable of it in the sense you and I are.
He can obsess, idolize, fawn over but love?
Him and Rafael are…complicated. If they love, it’s going to be different from how any other human would love.
Like tie you up in a basement and never let you leave, kind of different. I hope I’m making sense?”
She is. Because I’m no different from these devils. I wouldn’t know what a normal, healthy attachment was if it slapped me in the face. All I’ve been attached to are my blades and my brother who scarred my skin beyond recognition.
That’s totally healthy.
I’m not fucked up and incapable of forming healthy, logical bonds, not at all…
“Nova?”
“Yeah?” She tilts her head and there must be something she sees on my face because her brows dip, worry lacing her features. “What’s wrong?”
“Do you think I’m a good person?”
She scoffs as if the question is ridiculous. “What? Of course. Why would you ask that?”
“I just…” How do I put this into words? “I feel like I’m standing in a room with all these different doors.
All the doors are open, calling to me, but if I go through one, the others will close.
Closing off pieces of who I am. How do I know which doors are truly me and which were placed there to trick me? ”
“Have you been sneaking your own supply, Doc?”
I scoff at her response, a genuine giggle escaping me this time. “I know, it’s silly. Forget it.”
She reaches forward, titling my chin up. “I don’t know anything about these doors you speak of, but if you don’t feel like any of the doors are right for you, open a window.”
“There are no windows in this room,” I argue because it’s my nature and my reality.
“Then use a sledgehammer, Lucy. You’re strong enough.”
I fling myself forward, wrapping her in my arms. “I love you, Nova.”
We pull back from one another, and she cups my cheeks. “I love you too.”
Sliding over to the door, I grab the handle, but she stops me. “Lucy, one more thing. I don’t know much about love. But maybe we can promise each other something?”
“What?”
“Promise to choose us. To love ourselves more than any man ever could. After everything we’ve been through, it’s the least we can do, right?”
“I promise to choose us.”
Finally entering the shop, the attendant greets Enzo with a formal bow, making Nova snort a laugh. “We will need two gowns, Benny. One for each of my lovely ladies.” Enzo winks and Benny actually blushes.
Nova doesn’t hesitate. She jumps up and down, squealing as she runs down the aisle with the ball gowns. “Do the Angels usually attend?”
Enzo brushes a strand of hair out of my face, tucking it behind my shoulder. “No, but she will be Rafael’s date tomorrow. She deserves to have a night of extravagance, don’t you agree?”
“She does.”
“Well,” Enzo extends his arm, “pick what you like.”