51. CHAPTER 46
SAYLOR
An annoying beeping is making my head hurt. I feel like it’s right in my fucking ear. But there’s a voice here too.
Axl.
My heart races. I think he’s talking to someone. I can’t make out what he’s saying. My mouth tastes like bile and chemicals, and my throat burns so bad I want to claw at it.
I try to open my eyes but the light is too much. I close them again and try to remember how I got here.
Fuck. I think I’m crying. I’m not dead. I don’t know how that’s possible, but I’m not dead.
I try to open my eyes again. The room is white and bright. Axl is in a chair beside the bed with his elbows on his knees, and both his hands are wrapped in bloody bandages.
“Axl.” It comes out as a rasp. I’m not even sure if I really said it.
His head snaps up, and I see his red eyes. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days. Maybe he hasn’t. I don’t know how long I’ve been here.
“Hey, baby.” He’s out of the chair, and his hands are on my face. His forehead presses against mine. “Thank fuck. There’s my girl.”
His lips press against mine. They’re soft, and he’s never kissed me this gently in his life. His thumbs wipe the tears off my cheeks, and I can feel his hands shaking against my face.
“What happened?” My voice is raw. Every word hurts my throat. “How did I get here?”
“I found you in our bed.” He pulls back to look at me. His jaw is tight, and he’s deciding what to say. “You weren’t breathing, Saylor.”
My brain is working to piece together what happened. “How long have I been here?”
“Since last night.” He sits on the edge of the bed and keeps one hand on my face. His bandaged fingers are rough against my skin. “You’ve been out for fourteen hours.”
I look down at the IV in my hand. My hot pink nails look bright against the white tape and the hospital gown. I got those done yesterday. I was happy yesterday.
And then everything comes rushing back.
I enter our suite, and Justin is sitting on our bed.
There’s a bottle of whiskey on the nightstand next to him and a glass in his hand. His eyes are red and swollen, and there are tear streaks on his face. I don’t know what the fuck is going on.
My hand goes to the hoodie pouch where the knife is. I don’t pull it out yet—I might only have one shot at this, and as much as I want him dead, killing him hurts someone I love.
“How the fuck did you get in here?” My voice is steady, but my pulse is hammering in my ears.
“Borrowed a few of your king’s toys from the Sinclairs.” He takes a drink from the glass and sets it on the nightstand. His hand is shaking. “He thinks he’s so fucking untouchable. And don’t think he can see you now, because he can’t.”
He laughs and drops his head into his hands. This isn’t the Justin from three days ago. This is an even fucking crazier version. “If that fucking cocksucker would have just died at the annual ritual like planned, maybe none of this would have ever happened.”
He’s spouting craziness. But the more I can keep him talking, the more I can figure out how to defuse whatever this is since I can’t fucking kill him. “What are you talking about Justin?”
“I gave the men he fought weapons they weren’t supposed to have and shots of adrenaline.
I told them to make sure he fucking dies.
Wasn’t the first time I tried to have him killed either.
Once I saw how badly he wanted you, I tried to have him killed on jobs a couple of times, but he survived those too with just minor injuries. The prick just won’t die.”
“You tried to have Axl killed.” I say it back to him, making sure I heard it right. “All because of me?”
“I loved you first, Saylor.” He looks up at me, and his eyes are wet and wild.
“Before he ever fucking looked at you, you were mine. And then he shows up, and suddenly you’re his little fucking heathen, and you’re letting him brand you and pierce you, and I have to fucking stand by and watch.
Every fucking day I had to watch you fall in love with that asshole. ”
My hand tightens around the knife in my hoodie. I need him to keep talking. I need to figure out what he’s here to do. And if Axl walks in, he’s going to make the decision to kill Justin before I can give my father time to handle him.
“What are you doing here, Justin?” I keep my voice calm, wondering if I can get a text to my dad. “What do you want?”
He stands up from the bed, and he’s unsteady on his feet. He wipes his face with the back of his hand and picks up his phone from the nightstand. “You went to see Dad.” He points the phone at me. “I told you not to fucking tell anyone, Sayl.”
“I didn’t tell him anything.” The lie comes out fast. “He wanted me to see him because Axl hit him. I was doing damage control, Justin. For both of us.” That last part makes my stomach go sour. I don’t ever want to think of me and my brother as “us” ever again.
He stares at me for a long time. His eyes are glassy from the whiskey, and I can see his brain working.
“You always were a bad liar.” He swallows the rest of the whiskey in his glass. “And now I have to deal with it.”
My stomach drops. “Dad is going to help us, Justin.”
He laughs. “You think that’s what Dad has planned? God you really didn’t pay attention, Saylor. You know nothing about our father.”
“What are you talking about?” My father wouldn’t do that to me. He was devastated when he learned about Justin. I know he didn’t fake that.
“This is bigger than crying to Daddy, Sayl.”
Tears sting my eyes. My brother obviously knows what I told our dad, which means my father was never going to help me. “Justin, what the fuck are you going to do?”
“Give me your phone.”
I look at it in my hand. “No.”
He crosses the room faster than I expect from someone that drunk. His hand clamps around my wrist, and he pries the phone out of my fingers before I can shove it in my pocket.
“Let go of me.” I try to pull free, but his grip is so tight that I can’t twist free. He’s watching me, so I don’t go for the knife. Not yet. I’m going to have to catch him by surprise.
He steps back with my phone in his hand. “You’re going to record a video on your phone. You’re going to say that the nightmares got too bad. That you couldn’t handle it anymore, and that you’re sorry. Then you’re going to disappear, Saylor.”
“Fuck you.” I’ll never record his fucking video. “I’m not doing a goddamn thing you tell me to do, Justin.”
“Then Kynlee is dead.” He says it without hesitation. “She’s next door right now. How timely that she came back today. I’ll text her to come over here and snap her neck right in front of you. And then I’ll kill that stupid fucking cat too.”
I stare at him and look for any hint that my brother is still in there, but I don’t find it.
There’s a fucking monster in front of me.
He’ll make good on his threats. I would’ve never thought so before all of this bullshit, but standing in front of him now, I know he’ll do it.
I’m going to play along while I wait for the right time to make my move.
I don’t want to kill him, but it looks like it’s him or me.
“Fine.” I force my voice to remain calm even though I’m anything but fucking calm. “I’ll do the video.”
He hands me my phone and moves closer, watching what I do with it. I unlock it with shaking hands. An hour ago, I was getting my nails done and feeling like life might be normal again, and now my brother is trying to make me record what sounds like a suicide note.
At least if I fail, I can make sure Axl knows how I feel about him.
“Make it look real, Sayl. You’d better break his fucking heart and make sure Axl knows the video is for him. Or I’ll make death very real for Kynlee.”
I hold the phone up and hit record. My face fills the screen, and I look like shit. My eyes are red, and my chin is trembling. I don’t have to fake the tears because they’re already falling.
“I’m sorry, Axl.” My voice breaks, and I hate that he’s making me say these words. “The nightmares won’t stop. I can’t sleep and I can’t—” I press my lips together. I’m buying time. The knife is still in my hoodie pouch, and he’s standing right there. If I can get him close enough.
He points at me from behind the camera.
“I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry, Axl. I love you. I should have told you that before now. But this . . . it’s too much. Please don’t—” I choke on the words because saying them makes them feel real. “Please don’t blame yourself.”
Justin reaches past me and hits stop. “Good girl.”
The way he says that makes my entire body cringe. I fucking hate him.
“Let me just edit out the last little bit where I take the phone.” He stares at my phone. “There. It’s perfect.”
He turns away from me to set my phone on the bed. His back is to me for half a second.
I pull the knife from my hoodie pouch and flip the blade open the way Axl taught me, and I lunge at him.
I drive it toward his side, and the blade catches him across the ribs. He grunts and spins. His hand catches my wrist before I can stab him again. Fuck. Blood is soaking through his shirt where I cut him, and the look on his face is like I’m the one who betrayed him.
“Nice fucking try, Sayl.” He twists my wrist, and the knife drops onto the carpet. He kicks it under the bed and shoves me backward. I hit the wall, and the air goes out of my lungs. I can only hope I got him good enough that he’ll pass out.
I scramble for the door, but he’s faster. He grabs me by the back of my hoodie and throws me onto the bed. I’m kicking and swinging. My fist connects with his jaw, but he pins my wrists above my head with one hand and uses his weight to hold me down.
“Stop fighting me.” His voice breaks, and tears from his face fall onto mine. “I don’t want to do this, Sayl. I don’t have a fucking choice.”
“You always had a choice, you sick fuck.” I try to buck him off, but he’s too heavy. I spit in his face.
He doesn’t react. He reaches behind himself with his free hand and pulls something from his pocket. A pill bottle. He shakes a handful into his palm, and I clamp my mouth shut.
“Open your mouth.” He’s crying. Full tears run down his cheeks while he holds my wrists above my head with one hand and the pills in the other. “Please, Saylor. It’ll be fast. You’ll just go to sleep. And then you’ll be gone.”
I shake my head and keep my jaw locked. He’s going to have to break it.
He squeezes my jaw, and his fingers dig into both sides until the pain forces my mouth open, and he shoves at least four or five pills in. I try to spit them out, but he clamps his hand over my mouth and nose.
I can’t breathe. My body thrashes under him, and my lungs burn. I hold out as long as I can but they’re dissolving in my mouth. He lets go of my wrists to clamp both hands over my mouth and nose. I claw at his arms, but he doesn’t let go. I’m forced to swallow as I gasp for air.
Just when I think I’m going to pass out and dots cloud my vision, he pulls his hands off my face and I gasp. “You fucking—”
He grabs the whiskey bottle and presses it to my lips and pours. I try to turn my head, but he grips my jaw and holds me still. Whiskey runs down my chin and neck and soaks into Axl’s hoodie. I swallow because I can’t breathe if I don’t.
He catches my wrists again, and I’m trying to find some way to fight. I kick and scream, hoping that someone might hear me.
My phone rings, and he covers my mouth again with his other hand. “I love you, Sayl.” His voice is thick. “I’m so sorry.”
My eyes flutter as I fight to keep them open. My body goes limp, and I feel myself going under.
“I love you.” He says it again. His mouth is close to my ear, and I feel his tears on my neck. I think I hear his zipper, but I’m going under.
Then everything goes dark.
“Axl.” I need to tell him. I need to tell him everything. “It was—”
The door opens and a man in scrubs appears. “Miss Carter.” The man stops at the foot of my bed. He has a clipboard in his hand, and he glances at Axl before looking back at me. “It’s good to see you awake.”
“She just came to.” Axl doesn’t move from the edge of the bed. “What information do you have?”
“I’m going to wait outside,” Priest says from behind Axl. I didn’t even realize he was there. That must have been who Axl was talking to.
The man looks at his clipboard after Priest leaves and then back at me. He shifts his weight, and the unease settles over my entire body.
“We got some of your test results back.” He pauses. “And there are some things we need to discuss. Perhaps, you might want your . . . boyfriend to leave the room?”
The man gives Axl a cautious look. It can’t be good if he doesn’t want Axl hearing it.
“He stays.” I don’t hesitate. I reach for Axl’s hand and hold on. “Whatever you have to say, you say it in front of him.”
He’s going to learn whatever it is anyway. I’m not going to keep anything from him, including what Justin did. All of it. We’re going to have to find a way to help Kynlee because going to auction is safer than staying near my fucked-up brother.
Axl grips my hand and kisses the top of my head. When I look up at him, he’s staring at the doctor with his jaw set. I can feel the tension running through his entire body.
The doctor nods slowly but still doesn’t seem sure about Axl staying. He flips a page on his clipboard and draws a breath. “Alright.” He looks up from the chart. “I need to go over what we found.”