Chapter Eighteen
Being outside my home was a new thing to me. Even when Logan’s birthday had passed a week ago, we had not gone outside because I had not been ready and he had refused to rush me. And yet for the first time in weeks, I wasn’t exactly… scared. I was amused and nervous, but most of it was nothing to do with being somewhere that not so long ago I had never thought I would see again. No, it was specifically the reason why I was outside today that made me unsure and wary.
It was the first big step in our master plan, crafted between me and my five men until it was perfect, and not shared with a single soul beyond Ruby, Rika, and Henley. Three women who each played a role in my final game. Even Beau didn’t know the full extent of things; there were two steps that had been hidden even from him. Perhaps an odd choice, considering I had entrusted the three women so much. But it made sense to me and it was what would work.
It would all make sense in the end – it would all work out for us.
It had to.
“I look like a cake.” My hands clenched into fists by my side, yanking parts of the opulent silver gown that drowned my body. “I know I said I had no fussiness for a gown, but this is beyond what I can tolerate.”
The bridal store’s choice of an engagement party dress that adorned me made me look like I was a cross between a three-tiered cake with gems and someone who had fallen into a pit of shiny fabric and had somehow wound up stuck.
Rika burst into laughter, snapping a picture of me on her phone as she leaned back on the couch, pink hair spreading across the cushions.
“I think you make a pretty cake. I would do you in that dress.” She could barely hold her face straight as she lied through her teeth. “Okay, okay. No, I would not. That dress is so silly.” She found it more funny when I bent down and threw one of the bedazzled cushions at her from the couch nearest to me.
Dress shopping was insanely difficult, and I had never dreamed I was going to have done it with three girls I had rescued, another whose life I had inadvertently ruined when her family were slaughtered, a mayor’s daughter I’d rescued and decided to keep, my boyfriend’s cousin, and my uncles… friend? Or whatever the hell Ruby was. Yeah, we were a rag-tag group.
I would have liked to have had relatives with me – either my father, my mama or Beau. But two of those were dead, and the other was busy organising the security for my impromptu engagement party I was throwing as part of our stalker capturing plan. Keeping me and my future husband alive was far more important than having someone I loved with me and so I had asked the group of girls who mostly carried my surname now.
Delilah, Yumi, and the others were great. I really liked all of them, but I wanted someone… I wanted…
I wished I had my mama. I needed her. I wanted a hug from her as she told me everything was okay.
I wanted her to tell me that I looked like an idiot in the dress I wore and to help me pick out something better.
Ruby shook her head and interrupted my darker thoughts about all the many things I had lost as she caught my attention with her bemused stare.
“Baby, I don’t mean this in no rude way, but you look like you’ve been pulled through a knothole backwards… that dress is not it for you. Not at all.”
She wasn’t wrong. Not even a little, even if I wasn’t sure what a knothole was.
“All I wanted was a big party and to wear a pretty dress. They were my only conditions.” I sighed a little dramatically as I fell back onto the blue velvet couch, wrapping my hands over my face.
My wedding may have been a ruse for us to bait my stalker out once more, but it was still a real wedding if we got to that stage. And sure, we were hoping that Cassie made a move at the engagement party and finally revealed her face to us. But on the off chance she called my bluff, then I really was going through with the wedding too. I was marrying my boyfriend – Price specifically, seeing as he had won the little game to decide who was my fiancé, much to his amusement - and I was doing all the legal stuff required to gain a husband.
But the engagement party, the wedding, and all the rest of the things we had planned were all still happening because we wanted to draw out Cassie O’Malley and finally put a face to one of her many names. Sure, I had been with her and ought to have seen something useful. But aside from her love of masks and voice changers, I couldn’t remember a lot of what happened, beyond the pain and hallucinations, thanks to the drugs.
Oh, and the delightful sight of my daddy and his mutilated corpse. That had not been removed from my mind at all. I supposed it was a good thing the building I had been in had burned down to ash – Beau had told me so much when he went to check it out. The fire I’d set had done a good job of removing everything inside.
Even what remained of my daddy.
He was finally gone – finally at peace in every way possible. Even if I would have preferred to have gone to his grave sight – the place Beau had buried him, then the sick fucking stalker had dug him up from – knowing that he was ash and no longer able to be messed with by anyone else again did make a small part of my heart heal a little more.
“And with my help you will have a pretty dress within the hour and then we can go on to the most important part of a party – what sort of food are we havin’? Is it a buffet or a sitdown meal, ‘cause I love me some buffets.” Ruby continued talking as she shopped, and I pretended that I wasn’t missing anyone.
Delilah, Diamond and Yeva helped her. Yumi even followed as she stared at everything in wonder. Rika stayed in her seat, foot tapping on the ground, eyes locked onto her phone. She was waiting for something to do with her college, and it had been making her nervous for days, the poor kid. But all the girls were all having fun in the smallest of ways, and I was happy for them all, especially Diamond, who had never once seen a dress shop before.
The only odd woman out was Henley, and it was hard to concentrate on anything else when I kept glancing back at her as she sat on a lone armchair, staring out the store window. She’d come out with us, a surprise to me, for sure. But she was in an oversized black hoody of Widow’s, that nearly reached her knees. A pair of black leggings, boots, and sunglasses added to the look, and she hadn’t once smiled. The gothic vibe was entirely un-Henley, as was the quiet and solemness she hadn’t been able to shake since my return. I couldn’t blame her, not even a little. But I was worried – exceptionally worried. She needed something, and I had no idea what, or if, I could offer it. But it was my job to try, and it was my responsibility to make sure that her smile came back one day.
“Lucky H, what do you think of this one?” I pointed to the current dress on my body, hoping to entice her into a conversation, knowing how sharp her tongue was.
She barely glanced my way before shaking her head. “Hate it.”
It was better than silence, even if not as in depth as usual. And I kept it going, for the twenty minutes that followed, refusing to quit until she had sat up and actively paid attention, rather than staring out the window of the random wedding dress store Raya had said she’d vetted and was secure.
I mean, there were at least ten Red Diamonds outside, hovering in a car or two, and on the street. A few of Raya’s Cartel were with them, the lot mingling as they watched the area for threats. I was as safe as I could be considering the current situation in my life, and I was not worried about danger.
I was just worried about Henley.
“I give up. This is pointless.” I huffed in defeat eventually, stripping down to my underwear as I passed the latest in a long line of horrid dresses back to the sales assistant who’d been watching us.
“Not just yet – we’ll get somethin’.” Ruby rummaged around the shelves, carefully touching each dress and declaring with a simple shake of her head that they were no good. “Is there anythin’ that isn’t on the rack out here?” She turned her head to the saleswoman. “I know we said we were in a rush, but there’s gotta be one or two pretty gowns out here that aren’t things us everyday folk would wear. Somethin’ that screams fancy event full of rich people.”
“This is the cheapest section of shelves we have. The other options out back are a little more… pricey.” The woman smiled tightly as her eyes trailed down Ruby and her outfit. “This selection would be more appropriate for your… your budget.”
“Oh.” Ruby stilled, back straightening, red painted lips pouting as she lost her smile.
She was wearing white hooker heels, a tiny pleated black skirt, and a white cropped T-shirt with a big lipstick kiss on it. She looked like a dancer, even in her everyday wear. But it suited her, and she was pretty, and she sure as fuck didn’t deserve the condescending tone of the sales assistant, nor the filthy look being shot her way.
I stepped forward, reaching for a gun on instinct even if it was on the side table with my bag, and someone being rude wasn’t a valid reason for murder. But it seemed I wasn’t needed – Ruby was more than capable of handling herself.
“Well, of course, the normal riff raff like me couldn’t possibly afford such pretty gowns. Hell, we barely have enough money to count on one hand on account of only survivin’ on singles and sex.” She laughed falsely. “But my friend over there is marryin’ a rich man so maybe you could be a peach and take this pretty black Amex and go find us somethin’ a little better to try on that doesn’t make her look as cheap as you think we are.”
The woman took the card, her caution turning into dollar signs in her eyes, no doubt at the thought of commission. Her attitude switched on instinct, and she was nothing but smiles and false simpering.
“Of course! I’ll go pull some things from out back now for you!”
Ruby narrowed her eyes just a touch, her smile turning blinding. “Well bless your heart, sugar. That’s mighty sweet of you to offer.” The moment the woman walked away, Ruby flicked her hair over her shoulder and muttered just a little quieter, “Bitch.” She turned to me with an eye roll. “Any objections to us not payin’? I kinda wanna rob the joint – and usually I don’t steal, but it’s a rich business, so a tiny bit of kleptomania ain’t gonna hurt ‘em.”
I inclined my head. “Your choice, mami. If you think that is appropriate, then we can do that.”
She stared at me a moment, lips twitching. “You totally want to shoot her, right? I see the crazy in your eyes that your daddy has, and that always leads to shootin’. So yeah, I think stealin’ is fine enough – she’s rude, but that isn’t bad enough to die. Yet.”
I didn’t answer with more than a laugh as the saleswoman returned, a handful of fancier looking dress bags in her arms. It seemed she had taken Ruby’s words and run with it, because the first two dresses were well over ten thousand each, and the third one was even more. But number four? Number four was a disgustingly large price tag that on any other day I would have said no, purely on principal, that no dress was worth that much. Only I’d put it on before looking at how much it cost, and I loved it within a millisecond of draping the fabric over my flesh.
Spinning around on my tiptoes to look in the mirror, I gasped, unable to hide the shock at the fact I actually liked what I found, and that the entire group with me had each been stunned into silence too.
“You look like a hot goth.” Delilah was practically drooling as she twirled her purple braids around her finger like a cartoon villain. “Why the hell does this dress suit you so perfectly? I would look like a swamp creature, and I wear black almost exclusively.”
I looked like a wicked fairy. Or some form of woodland nymph that haunted the darkness and made the world its bitch. And though I was not as into black as someone like Delilah was, I had to admit that I was fully on board playing goth for the night. The dress was thin and floaty. Tulle and gossamer and enough shine that I almost sparkled hung against me, delicate and soft enough to make me want to run my hands over myself again and again. But the best part of all was that it wasn’t white – it wasn’t a wedding dress sort of outfit, which was exactly what I had wanted to buy.
“Black like my bunny’s soul.” I snorted at my reflection in the mirror. “I want this one – this is it. I’m happy.”
It might have been hasty, but I didn’t need to question it, or try on more. I didn’t even need to think beyond a single second because I wanted it. I wanted it and it was mine, and that was that, regardless of the price tag or how much it looked like a dress for a different event than my engagement party. It was pretty and made me smile and that was the least I deserved, considering the shit I had been through lately.
Within ten minutes, I was dressed in my jeans and one of Logan’s jumpers, with everyone but Ruby back in the cars outside, ready for us to head on home. Each girl had been bought an outfit to wear to the party, and every single one of them had gone for a dress of some kind, except for Henley. She may have stuck with her usual colour palette and picked something pale pink, but she’d gone for a pantsuit over a dress. It covered her arms, chest and legs, and as much as I hated the fact she felt too self-conscious to wear a big princess dress like she normally would, I could not blame her. If she needed some time to feel better about herself in her skin, then she could have all the time in the world. I would just make sure she understood that she was beautiful still, regardless of the marks on her skin and the memories that were now staining her.
“Thanks for coming with me. I appreciate the advice and things you gave me.” I said to Ruby, as we waited for my dress – the store one had fit so perfectly, it didn’t even need resizing. A rather nice bit of luck.
“Thanks for invitin’ me – I love shoppin’, especially for weddin’ stuff.” Ruby eyed the shop up a little dreamily as her fingertips trailed over a variety of crowns and shiny things. “I feel like a kid playin’ dress up or somethin’.”
There was a wishful look in her big green eyes that made me far too curious, considering it was not my business. But never mind – it was fun letting my curiosity go wild sometimes.
“You ever fancy getting married?” I asked casually. “Beau told me you date Aiden now and I wonder perhaps you could see yourself getting married in the future?”
Look. Did I have any idea if Beau and Ruby were dating each other, and not just the same guy, no. But did a part of me think that there was something between them that could turn into that? Yeah.
Beau didn’t like women. He refused to deal with them as often as he could, and though he had never been outwardly nasty to one, I remembered all the times he had passed things over to my daddy or me to deal with so he could avoid dealing with women in our business or otherwise. Obviously it wasn’t until now that I understood why he had behaved in such a way, but even without that knowledge a part of me was still… curious, maybe. Or simply being hopeful.
Beau was kind to Ruby. He bought her things, spoke to her with less venom than usual, and I knew for a fact he had taken a bunch of bad men to one of our torture cabins in the woods to pull apart. Bad men who had done something to Ruby. And that wasn’t something Beau did. So yeah. It wasn’t my business, but at the same time I had noticed the things going on around me and felt it was only right to ask questions.
He was my uncle - or daddy - after all. If anyone had the right to be nosy about his dating partners, I guessed it was me.
Ruby sighed. “I used to, when I was little. Like, I always wanted a beach weddin’ somewhere nice and hot, with a big ass party and a whole sea theme like a water princess.”
Her dreams sounded like an awful lot of fun, and though I had never pictured my own wedding, the idea of doing it how Ruby described seemed like it would be a boatload of entertainment.
“But now?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Now I don’t know. I’ve only just managed to like a man enough to let him call me his girlfriend. I think anymore might be pushin’ it. At least for a while. But I’m open to changin’ my mind if Aiden or whoever asks me at some point and I’m in a better headspace.”
Despite her semi-no response, I could see that look still in her eyes. The one that promised the dreams she’d had as a little girl wasn’t all gone. Perhaps a small piece of them remained in her heart, locked away behind steel walls that I hoped would one day be opened if the right person, and right time, came along and surprised her. But that was a thought for another day because the assistant came back and handed over my new purchase, right before I went to show her just how much I enjoyed being petty, and why bad attitudes were never polite.
“How would you like to pay today?” She asked, as I took my gun from my purse and went to lift it up.
Ruby gently grabbed my arm, stopping me in my tracks. “May I?”
“Sure.” I inclined my head.
She pulled the gun for me, holding it steady and sure as I tried not to find too much amusement in the saleswoman’s fear-filled eyes that locked onto the weapon being put in her face.
“I think we won’t be payin’ at all.” Ruby grinned fiercely. “We’re gonna walk on out of here, and you are gonna be nice about it. If not, then one of my lovely friends are gonna show you exactly why you shouldn’t be such a bitch to strangers.” By friends, she meant the handful of Raya’s Cartel gangsters that had come inside to escort us to the cars, saving my Red Diamonds the hassle of following me so closely.
It was even better for us that they had followed, because their faces were so well known in the area that it took a single glance for the saleswoman to nod her head and accept defeat.
“Of course.” Her jaw ticked, eyes flaring with the rage she had no choice but to lock up tight. “No problem. Have a nice day.”
Ruby reached over and patted her arm, condescending as hell. “Thanks darlin’. I hope you have the day you deserve.”
With that, we headed outside, going straight for the cars we’d come in so we could grab some food before heading home. The other girls had all climbed into the front car, so it was just Ruby and I in the backseat of the car at the back, plus the driver.
Mohammed was an older guy – late sixties – and had been my daddy’s driver for as long as I could remember. He was sweet and had always been kind to me on the odd times I’d needed a ride and hadn’t been old enough to drive. But I’d never really spoken to him much beyond the basics, like how are you and the family sort of vibe, before now. Now I asked him everything each time I saw him – I wanted to know who he was, what he had liked about working for my daddy and what he hated. I wanted to hear about his family and all the adventures he’d been on whilst serving in the military years ago, before he left and joined my gang.
I wanted to know everyone who had been willing to follow me and believed in me as a leader, even when they had no reason to and had been outright told by Beau not to bother, when he was still pretending to hate me. The people who had defied his orders deserved respect, and my people deserved more than being nameless faces that helped me. I would get to know every single one, to make sure they had whatever they needed in life, and knew that I appreciated them more than I could explain.
They had come to help me when they had been outright told that doing so would result in death, and I would forever be grateful for that.
“Hi, Mo.” He’d insisted I shorten his name more than once and had almost had a fit when I’d called him by his surname on account of it ‘making him feel old’.
“Miss Montana.” He inclined his head as I settled into my chair, and grabbed a bottle of Champagne from the cooler in the back, carefully opening it and forgoing glasses like the classy woman I was. “Miss Ruby. How was your trip?”
It wasn’t funny that Ruby didn’t have a surname, but at the same time it was kinda fun to hear the way she snickered whenever one of the Red Diamonds had referred to her as Miss Ruby. She’d said it made her feel like a grandma or something that baked cookies and yelled at mischievous school kids.
“All good, thanks. We got Sapphire a real pretty dress, and it was free!” Ruby laughed harder before she explained what had happened and how she had been so sure of herself with the gun, despite not usually using one.
“Do you know how to shoot?” I wondered – if she didn’t, I would teach her. It seemed useful for her to know.
She nodded. “Beau has been teachin’ me some stuff. Aiden too – I feel like a ninja now and know how to use a gun other than a shotgun. I totally wasn’t goin’ to shoot myself in the foot or whatever. Beau said I was a fast learner.”
I trusted her confidence with her skills and a gun, even if a small piece of my brain was distracted by once more flagging the way she said Beau’s name as something suspicious. The way her smile almost seemed brighter too was even more of a sign for my brain to witness and wonder.
Not that I would wonder for long – I had decided to just ask.
“You and my uncle…” I spoke softly, when she and Mo had finished their dress conversation and Mo was concentrating on the drive. “Are you friends now? I wonder sometimes because he does not do lady friends and yet, here you are. Plus, you date the man he cares for too. And I have never known Beau to be lenient with sharing the things he has.” He’d always shared things with me or my daddy, but that was different, and he had never once seemed inclined to play nice with others outside of our family bubble.
The bottle of Champagne was slowly lowered from Ruby’s lips, her cheeks turning red as she swallowed hard. Her reaction alone had me sure I was on the right track with being suspicious – she was either more than friends, or she wanted to be. Both were fine with me, so long as Beau was happy.
“Do you… do you have an opinion on it?” She asked slowly. “You’re only a handful of years younger than me and I don’t want you to think it’s weird that I’m… I’m friends with your daddy.”
She’d never called him my uncle. Sure, she hadn’t known at first – Beau had admitted he introduced me on accident as his daughter the first time he’d met her. But I had never corrected it, and I didn’t want to even if I couldn’t understand why. It was like a tiny part of my brain loved the idea that even though I had lost Ford, I still had someone to fill his role a tiny bit.
It reminded me that I wasn’t as alone as I sometimes felt – I had Beau. He had not left me yet.
“Doesn’t bother me. I like you, Ruby. You are a nice friend and I think you are sweet.” I snickered and stole the Champagne back. “As sweet as the peaches, like you say. But I was just being nosy because I keep seeing things being different in Beau, and I wondered why.”
“Well good. Because I like you too – you’re a diamond of a girl.” She patted my arm, once again giggling to herself and making me smile.
“Beau has…” I weighed my words up carefully. “He is unhappy on the inside for so many years that sometimes he forgets how to be happy. But with you – with Aiden – I see him begin to remember. So, whatever you are, if friends or something not so friendly, I don’t care. All I care for is that he is happy and that he finds peace in his life.”
Aiden hadn’t been around as much, so I hadn’t had a chance to get to know him as well yet; Beau had him on the ‘gory shit’ that had required a firm touch and a violent streak. I wasn’t entirely sure what he’d been doing to the people he’d been hunting but I knew he was tracking down every single gangster who’d betrayed me with Kalvin and John, and was making sure they wouldn’t be able to do it again.
He was doing Malone’s job and even if it hurt to know my tío had been replaced in a way, Aiden was perfect with it.
He was a ghost, almost.
“I don’t know why Beau seems happier.” Ruby snorted. “I’m mean to him all the time. Just this mornin’, I stole his coffee and made him all huffy.”
The fact he was even having coffee with a woman was shocking enough, let alone that he’d allowed her close enough to take his drink and he hadn’t shot her for stealing from him. But I kept that to myself, not wanting to spoil Ruby’s denial when she seemed so content with it.
“I think you are good for him.” Satisfied I had satiated my curiosity enough, I hurried to end the conversation. “And if you turn out not to be, that is no problem either. But I do not have this concern.”
“’Cause you’d kill me super dead.” Ruby grinned. “But don’t worry; I fully intend on bein’ nice to him for as long as possible. I’d never tell him to his face, but he’s not so bad and I like bein’ friends with you.”
“Friends?” I tasted the word on my tongue. “I like being friends with you too.”
Turned out I had been right when I had wished for a friend to fall out of the sky for me. Not only had it happened, but it had come far faster and better than I could have ever imagined.
I had more than one friend – more than one woman I was happy to have in my life that seemed to like me for me, and not just the money in my bank. So it was with a smile that was not false, and the thoughts of a potentially better future on the horizon, that I headed back to my home, ready to face another day. Another fight.