Chapter Twenty One
Staring into the mirror in Sapphire’s bathroom, I did my best not to look at the thick, jagged scar running down my chest as I prepared my razor and shaving cream, needing to take the last step into making myself look and feel normal again. It wasn’t like I was self-conscious. If anything, I thought the scar was kind of cool. But my girl kept looking sad when she saw it and I knew it made her remember how she thought I was dead. That meant I would hide it from her as often as I could until she felt a little better in her mind and then I didn’t need to worry about accidentally making her relive something that hurt her.
“Cica, pass me the soap, please.”
Sapphire sat on the counter next to me, watching as I prepared to shave. She was in nothing but my black t-shirt, her adorable short hair slightly mussed, her face bare from makeup. God, she was beautiful. She was always beautiful, but right now she was perfect and I couldn’t get enough of looking at her.
“Why do you stare at me so much? Are you wanting to fuck me again?” She grinned and stuck her tongue out at me.
“I always want to fuck you.” Snorting a laugh wasn’t the smartest when I had a blade to my neck, but I persevered without slitting my own throat like an idiot. “But right now I was thinking about how pretty you are and that seeing you wear my clothes and with freshly fucked hair is even better.”
Her eyes followed the razor so carefully, as though she was worried I would do something wrong. She didn’t say anything for a moment, but I liked that too – I liked that we could exist in silence as well as talking. It was weirdly peaceful, and I just knew that even decades from now, when we were barely able to walk without breaking a hip, let alone fuck, we would still be happy just existing with each other.
“You are pretty too, and I kind of like your scruff.” She mumbled after a minute. “It looks nice.”
I instantly stopped shaving before I reached my actual face. “You want me to keep it?”
She pouted, and it made me want to put her on her knees again so I could debase the bathroom more than we already had.
“Do you want to keep it?” She asked.
“I don’t care.” Chucking the blade down, I placed my hands on either side of her on the counter, leaning in close. “If you like it, then I’ll keep it. I’m all for making myself hotter for you.”
“You would be hot to me always.” She sighed as she grabbed at the belt loops of my jeans. “I also seem to like the beard rash between my thighs. But you came to shave because you wanted to, and I am all for you looking exactly how you want. So pass me the razor and let me play barber.”
I would have kept the scruff for her even if I didn’t like it. But I did enjoy the fact she was happier with me being happy. It was a nice thing to know and hear her say out loud.
“Do I trust you not to slice open my throat?” I hummed as I handed her the razor. “Maybe this was a secret ploy, so you could make me bleed.”
“If I wanted to bleed you, Kody, then you would bleed. I would not need fake things.” She pointed the tip of the blade against my Adam’s apple, and despite not an ounce of me attracted to weapons in women’s hands, a part of me seemed unable to register that.
God, I would have to move my gun or something before I handed it to her and asked her to hold it against my head as she kissed me.
“Pretend I’m not hard right now and stop being scary.” I laughed. “I don’t want to become attracted to you with a knife – it seems like something you would do all the time, and I think I’d prefer less danger.”
She started shaving as we bickered back and forth, never once slipping or so much as grazing me. Not that I thought she would have, anyway. She was talented with her weapons and had a steady hand. I wouldn’t have cared either way. Bleeding for her was and would always be something I was happy to do. And the shave was almost relaxing. So much so that halfway through I shut my eyes, leaned against her more and decided I could break my silence and fake nap and distract her a bit.
“Can I ask you something?”
She paused, dropping the razor for a moment. “Always.”
I opened my eyes. “Do you think all this will be over with by the end of the summer?”
She shrugged. “I would hope so, but I’m not sure. Why?”
“Rika.” I replied. “I don’t want her getting dragged into any of this life more than she has. I don’t want her dealing with all the danger and stuff, and I barely convinced her to not stick around for more than the odd weekend.”
She grabbed my hand, linking our fingers together. “She starts college soon enough, right? You mentioned she decided to go to Diamond Grove University to be close to you and see what America is like.”
“Yeah, she turned down some big colleges too.” My eyes rolled even if I was happy. “The little brat thinks she would have more fun hanging out with me and you guys than making new friends and going to a smart kid school.”
“Then I will make sure she does have fun.” Sapphire grinned. “I will also make sure she is safe. Whilst I hope this is all over by then, if it isn’t, I will continue to give her bodyguards and whatever else is required to make sure she stays happy.”
Beau was playing bodyguard for now. He’d kindly offered out his spare bedroom at his apartment, so that Rika was definitely staying somewhere safe until she started college. If that weren’t enough, he and Aiden had vowed to watch out for her, and Ruby was keeping her entertained too. It was the only reason I wasn’t worried about her constantly – I knew she was safe and when she’d gone home again last night I hadn’t been up all night long wondering if she was going to be in danger.
“Don’t let her join the gang.” I snorted as Sapphire carefully finished shaving and inspected her handiwork with a nod of approval. “If you send her some other gangster bodyguards, she will beg them to let her join in with the danger.”
“She likes danger just like you? I know she helped out when you could not shoot.” My girl cocked her head, eyes burning with ideas.
“Dad taught her how to shoot and things, just like me.” The worst part of it was that I was a tiny bit worried Rika had become better than me with her rifle. She was petty enough to want to best me all the time, and I knew she had been practicing more lately.
With human targets.
“So I could have another Kadar sniper on my team? How awesome for me.” Sapphire teased. “But no, that is fine. She will not be in the gang, and she will be safe. I promise.” She bit her lower lip, a question burning in her eyes.
“Ask whatever you want to ask, cica. There are no secrets between us.” I ruffled her hair until she swatted away my hand with a laugh.
“I am just nosy about how your parents ended up with her. She is your cousin and yet she is more like a sister now and I wondered how that happened.”
I grabbed Sapphire by the waist, hoisting her into my arms, carrying her into her bedroom and dropping the pair of us on her bed. The blankets were still messed up, her thong was lying on the ground where I’d thrown it, and the instant we snuggled together I had the urge to continue our lazy morning whilst the other guys were busy working.
“Rika’s mom – so my mom’s younger sister – got into a bad crowd when she was young. She ended up pregnant at fifteen and she couldn’t handle it.” I explained. “My parents always tried to look out for her and Rika, but she was stubborn. Or just in denial, I dunno. Anyway, it got too much and eventually she overdosed and my parent’s gained custody of my cousin. That’s about it, really.”
Sapphire snuggled closer, pressing a kiss to my neck. “I’m sorry that happened to her.”
“I barely knew her, honestly. It’s sad, but I don’t even remember meeting her more than once or twice and at least she isn’t suffering with her addiction anymore, right?” I felt bad for my aunt, but I wasn’t as emotionally invested as I could have been had I known her and been around her a lot. Mostly I just felt bad that my cousin had to grow up for a few years in a toxic household and then had to spend the rest of her life without her birth mother.
Sapphire nodded. “What happened with Rika’s daddy?”
“No idea. We don’t know who he is other than being some shitty addict in her mom’s school or something, and that his mom was Hungarian, but his dad was Nigerian. But honestly, Rika has never seemed to want to find out who her dad is, so we haven’t either. If she ever changes her mind, then sure. But for now, she says she’s fine without.”
The random conversations continued on for a while, neither of us in a rush to go anywhere or do anything. Most of the guys were out doing various things Sapphire had tasked them with, none of which were dangerous. So it was easy enough for us to lounge around without guilt or fear.
It was rather nice – too nice. I figured I could easily get used to it soon enough and want to do nothing with the rest of my life beyond relaxing with my girl.
“Why do you giggle to yourself so much?” Sapphire yawned against my neck, where she was sleepily kissing me. “I can feel your chest moving all the time with laughs.”
“I was thinking about how I could spend the rest of my life doing nothing but lying with you and chilling. Then I thought how the guys would be in here too and the idea of all of us staying in this bed forever doing nothing seems weirdly fun.”
She snickered a laugh. “You totally love me.”
“I really do. So much so I’m kinda jealous Price’s name was drawn when we picked your fake husband for this plan.”
She sat up suddenly, shirt slipping a little off her shoulder, as she stared at me.
“This plan we have – this whole thing where I will marry Price. I just want to be clear on something.” She swallowed hard. “I would marry you too. If your name had been called when you debated who best to be mine, then I would have been just as happy. And in the future, if you wish to do marriage too, then I would love that for real.” I wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled her onto my lap as she continued making my day. “I know I said I loved you before, but I need you to understand that it is more than that – more than anything I have ever felt before. You are my world and if I lose you, then I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to keep fighting if I don’t have you with me, Kody.”
My hand cupped her cheek. “Baby, you don’t need to tell me. I get it – I would be the same.” I promised. “I also want to marry you too one day. You just name the time and place, and I’ll be more than happy to be there.”
“Yeah?” The way she smiled at me made my whole world light up and I couldn’t stop myself from moving my hands from her face to her waist, and yanking her down until she lay beneath me.
“Yeah. You are it for me. You’re mine and I will fight to keep us both happy for as many years as we can get.” Leaning in, I kissed a trail up her throat, to her jaw and back down to her chest. “But make no mistake. The moment you’re gone, I’m following, even if it’s tomorrow. You’re my girl and I won’t ever be apart from you again.”
It might have sounded dramatic, but I didn’t care. I meant it, and I knew she felt the same way.
Sapphire shut her eyes, sighing as I kept kissing her throat, getting harder with each one so I could mark her skin just the way she liked. It was a shame neither of us enjoyed tattoos, for I would have loved to have marked her with my name and then do the same for her.
Price had mentioned doing it when he’d been drunk recently and though drunken thoughts were often dumb, I couldn’t help but agree with his idea.
It seemed fun.
“Is the door locked?” Sapphire muttered as her hands rubbed along my arms, steadily getting lower to what I hoped was her favorite place on me.
“Nope. But I can lock it.” I leaned back and slunk to my feet, heading right for the door and making sure nobody could disturb us unless we wanted them to.
When I turned back to the bed, Sapphire was already naked, her shirt joining the pile of clothes on the floor. She was eyeing me up with a smirk that told me we were about to continue our morning of thoroughly wicked things and I was on board for it.
“How do you want me?” She asked, as she spread her legs a little. “I’m not in the mood for effort – my thighs still burn from earlier. So feel free to be a good boy and just let me lie there whilst you work hard.”
As nice as it was having her ride me, it wasn’t my favorite. I much preferred to have her on her back or knees, and I was glad she was in the mood to do the same thing.
“Lie down then, beautiful.” She did as I asked instantly, her head hitting the pillows and her smile growing brighter.
I hurried to take the last of my clothes off and a mischievous idea entered my brain as I took off my jeans. My belt slipped into my hands, and I eyed up the posts of her bed.
“You wanna play a little, cica? Only for a few minutes.” Tying her up wasn’t something I had done often, beyond using my belt on her wrists a few times. But I was in the mood to take it a step further and see just how much I could push her and make her scream for me. It seemed like it would be fun.
She eyed up my belt, curious and a little scared just as I had expected.
“How?”
I headed toward her and kneeled on the bed, grabbing hold of her hands. “Like this.” I wrapped the belt around her wrists, then nudged my chin to the bedpost. “Can I?”
She hesitated for a moment, but I waited, letting her make her mind up on whether she was open to trying it or if her trauma was a little too much for her to want to explore. Either option was fine with me – I was only here to make her feel good and if she wasn’t interested, then we could find something else to do.
“Okay.” she whispered eventually. “Do it.”
“You trust me?” I checked. “You sure?”
“Always.” Sapphire leaned back further, lifting her arms up for me. “I will tell you if I dislike it and need to stop.”
“Good girl.” I slowly bent over her, using my belt to loop around her wrists and then to the bed before sitting back to admire my handiwork.
There was something so delightful about having her tied up and ready for me, and I couldn’t stop myself from grinning like an arrogant fool. So much so that even as I bent down, kissing a line of marks along her pretty flesh, I couldn’t stop myself from chuckling in delight.
“Did you laugh?” She snickered as she wriggled on the bed, getting comfortable. “You are acting like Price.”
“Price is onto something.” Grabbing her thighs, I pushed them further apart, my lips dragging along her skin, kissing each new scar, teeth following suit. “It’s fun seeing how tasty you are.”
She bucked her hips a little. “But you do not taste me – you are playing.”
“So impatient.” I bit her harder, and she moaned. “But don’t worry, beautiful, I’ll get to where you want me soon enough. I just want to take my time and savor you.”
By that I meant I took almost twenty minutes from the second my mouth moved between her thighs to me, coming up for air. And sure, I was being a deviant an awful lot, but it was fun. Each time she tightened her thighs around my head, and I felt the telltale signs of her oncoming orgasm, I pulled back, making her wait for it. By the time I was ready to let her finish, she was shaking like a leaf and cursing me to high heaven as she yanked her bound hands in her desperation to move.
Best. Day. Ever.
“Kody!” Sapphire dug her heels into my back and squeezed her legs together hard enough to send a shiver down my spine. “I swear I will murder you…” she panted as I pressed my lips harder against her core, tongue lapping circles around her clit. “I will shoot you dead!” She groaned.
Chuckling against her, I decided to play nice, but only for a moment. My tongue kept moving, and I didn’t pull away this time. Instead, I let her fall apart on my face with a smug grin, refusing to move an inch until she stopped shaking.
“You still good up there?” I grinned as I sat back and stared at how flushed and deliciously sweaty she was.
She nodded. “I worried for a bit but I just remembered I love you and I… I felt safe.” She said slowly. “I don’t want to keep doing it now, but for a while I could forget and just feel you, and in the future, I can consider doing it again, maybe.”
I hurried to undo her wrists, taking a moment to rub them so that the marks around them wouldn’t last. But as much as I was happy to wait a while to carry on so I could take care of her, my girl was as impatient as ever. I could barely do anything before she’d wrapped her legs around my waist and deliberately pulled me close enough that I could feel the dampness between her thighs rubbing against me.
She reached her hand down, grabbing my cock and brushing the head against her, hips bucking once more.
“I thought you didn’t want to put in any effort.” I teased. “You said you were tired.”
Seeing as she lined herself up so that she could sink onto me told me she wasn’t all too fussed about putting in some effort.
“You took too long.” She grinned as I pushed her back against the mattress again and moved to kiss her neck.
“Do you want me to go faster?” My hips were already moving, but I still wasn’t in a rush.
We had nowhere else to be – nothing else to do for now. I could have stayed right where I was and it wouldn’t have bothered me. But Sapphire seemed uninclined to do the same thing. Instead, she yanked me so I kissed her mouth instead, and refused to stop bucking against me as she desperately chased a high I was more than happy to give her.
“Fuck me like you own me, Kody. That is what I want.”
Her words were like waving a red flag in front of a bull and I knew what I had to do. So I pulled back, yanking myself out of her. She let out a gasp of surprise that was quickly muffled when I flipped her onto her hands and knees, and bent her down just right for me.
“I do own you.” Pushing myself back inside of her, I grabbed her hands, pulling them behind her back, and making sure my grip was tight. “So you’re not moving for at least an hour – I suggest you be a good girl and take it.”
It wasn’t like she had much choice. I had her bent underneath me like a pretty little present that I got to unwrap and make fall apart. Over and over and over again, until her voice was sore from screaming, my entire body burned with stress, and neither of us could do anymore. Only then did I tap out, as we passed out in each other’s arms, happy and safe.
Only then did I finally satiate the need inside of me for the girl I loved more than anything.
The one I desperately didn’t want to lose again.