Diary of a Sesh Hound

Chapter 1

I impatiently leaned over the bar in the nightclub, trying to get the bartender’s attention.

The club was mobbed which was pretty standard for a Tuesday in the Bounty.

I tapped my hand along to the beat of Tina Turner’s “Proud Mary” while I did the mental calculations in my head of how my funds were doing that night.

The girls and I always snuck our naggins of vodka into the pubs with us on our student nights out, but the clampdown on checking handbags this year had taken a serious hit to our finances - and our social lives.

Ella had tried to take one for the team and shoved the communal Tesco vodka into her knickers, but Mike the bouncer clocked her straight away, thanks to the duck walk she had done trying to shimmy past him.

Luckily, he only threatened to bar her (and me, Sara and Sinéad by association) after he poured the full naggin of vodka onto the footpath in front of us.

“Jesus, it can’t be that bad, sweetheart. What can I get you?” A deep voice made me jump, and I realised I’d been frowning right at the barman as I’d been considering the wasted vodka.

A. Pretend I’d broken my leg, just to avoid the humiliation.

B. Jump up and pretend I’d been standing there all along and hadn’t just had my legs in the air, flashing everyone in Bounty nightclub my knickers.

Before I’d decided which option to go with, I felt an arm grab me and hoist me to my feet. The feeling of that strong grip was familiar to me, and the look of shock that was quickly turning to outrage on Ella’s face confirmed it was Connor Donnelly’s arm wrapped around my midsection.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Ella spat out as she pulled me from his grip.

Sara and Sinéad stopped dancing and I watched the confusion crowd their faces as they instinctively gathered behind us, eyes narrowed on Connor.

Ella and I were childhood friends from home, and while Sara and Sinéad had heard about the callous dickhead who broke my heart over the past three years’ house sharing in Limerick, they’d never actually met him before.

“I’m just home for a stint and came somewhere different with the lads.

Good to see ye,” Connor said, as he kept his eyes glued on mine.

He looked the same, except improved in every physical sense of the word.

Fucking typical. He was more muscular but still lean, and his tight-cut black hair was styled in his usual careless way.

But it was his eyes that had me pinned to the spot; they looked like melted Dairy Milk.

Or maybe a Golden Crisp, with the little flecks of iridescent gold that shone as the lights pulsed to the music.

“Well, great for you. Feel free to stay well away from us tonight,” Ella said with an acidic smile.

God, I loved that girl. She’d go toe to toe with a nest of vipers for me, and I’d do the same for her, or any of the girls, for that matter.

I might have trust issues, namely thanks to that dickhead Connor, but the happiness of my family and friends was the most important thing in the world to me, and I’d put on a Dustin the Turkey costume and dance the macarena just to see them smile.

“How’ve you been, Róisín?” he asked me, completely ignoring Ella.

“Grand,” I choked out, shrugging nonchalantly.

I didn’t want him to realise the effect running into him was having on me, it was like my body was in fight or flight mode.

Desperate to run away and hide from the old wounds that the sight of him was ripping open all over my heart, while equally demanding I stand rooted where I was and drink in every detail of his gorgeous face.

“I see not much has changed. You’re still as clumsy as ever,” he smiled coyly at me. He’d meant it to be teasing, maybe even flirty, but the familiar tone he used snapped me out of my stupor.

“No, Connor, a lot has changed. Enjoy your visit home,” I said calmly as I turned back to the girls. I felt him standing behind me, hesitating for another second, before he turned and walked away.

“Dance and start laughing now,” Ella hissed into my ear. “He’s still watching, and you better make sure he knows you don’t give a fuck.”

I gave her a wink as we started dancing, even though my insides were trembling. We kept up the charade for a few more songs as I tried to ignore the sensation of his eyes on me, when Sinéad sidled up to me.

“C’mon, we’ll go for a fag,” she nudged me as she picked our bags off the floor. She didn’t even smoke, but I was glad to escape into the plumes of cigarette smoke and blueberry vape fumes all the same as we edged our way through the smoking area.

“I can’t believe that was Connor. So random that he’s here tonight,” Sinéad said.

It really was, since home was a two-hour drive away in West Cork, and even if he was home on leave from his peacekeeping mission with the army, a Sunday night out in Limerick wasn’t where I’d expect to see him.

I shrugged in answer as I rooted in my handbag for my fags.

“Are you okay?” Sinéad asked gently. While the girls and I were all adept at reading each other, Sinéad was the most astute and always the first one to check in on you if she sensed you were upset.

“Ya, I’m grand, sure what do I care if he’s here?”

Sinéad gave me a knowing look.

“What, Sinéad? It was years ago, and I was seventeen. I’m not some lovesick teenager anymore. I couldn’t give a shite about running into him.”

“I know, girl, but it was your first time bumping into him.. and you fell on your arse,” she said in a serious tone. My heart lurched, reliving the mortification, when I caught her eye and just burst out laughing.

“Okay, I’ll admit that is not what I’d had in mind when I imagined bumping into him again.”

“Look on the bright side, it couldn’t have gone any worse and there is a very tall, cool drink of water eyeballing you to the left.

” Sinéad jerked her head, and I latched eyes with the barman from earlier.

She gave me a dig with her elbow before standing up and walking away as he made his way towards me.

“Any chance of a lighter?” I asked casually.

“Any chance of your name?” he smirked as he pulled out his lighter.

“Róisín, you?” I leaned in as he sparked me up.

“Ronan,” he went as if to shake my hand but lifted it to his lips for a kiss instead. Cringey, but he managed to pull it off.

“Well, thanks, Ronan,” I tugged my hand back and rolled my eyes.

“You having a good night?” he asked in a deep, gravelly voice that made my ovaries sit up and pay attention.

“I am now,” I flirted, purposely widening my navy-blue eyes as I looked up at him through my lashes. “Aren’t you working?”

“Quick break, but I’m heading to a house party out in Castletroy once this is over if you’re up for it?

” He turned slightly to lean over me, and I took in the sheer girth of his shoulders.

He had the look of a rugby player about him, but going by the slight Mayo accent, it was more likely Gaelic football.

This was part of the reason I’d earned my nickname of the sesh hound three years ago; I was generally the one who located a house party to head to once the nightclub ended.

Now I had one lined up without even trying.

“Yeah, I might be. Guess it depends how the night turns out,” I could hear myself slur a little as I wobbled in my heels again. Those last two drinks had been a bad idea.

“Well, I’ll look for you after to see if you’re interested,” he paused, giving me a lingering look.

“You do tha-” I felt a hand on my elbow giving me a gentle tug and turned to find myself staring into a broad, strong chest. His chest.

“Róis, can we talk?” Connor demanded. Ronan looked back and forth between us before making his exit with a “See you after, Róisín,” brow cocked sardonically. Connor eyeballed him as he walked away.

“Who was that?”

“What’s it to you?” I hiccupped. Yeah… I’d really overdone it on the drinks.

And I was about to lose any dignity I had left, because I could feel myself swaying.

I stamped out the cigarette, feeling the nausea rush in at me.

I moved out of his grip and started to walk towards the nightclub again, when I staggered into the wall.

Quickly his arm wrapped around my waist, steadying me again.

“Jesus, Róis, did you maybe hit it a bit hard tonight?”

“Don’t call me that,” I mumbled, while trying to keep my mouth clamped against the growing sensation of vodka making its way back up my throat.

“Róis? Why not? It’s what I always call you.” I ignored him as I pushed my way towards the smoking area exit again.

“Do you feel sick?” He leaned down to look at me, his eyes full of concern. I just nodded, my eyes starting to close as the dizziness set in.

“Okay, let’s go outside. Some fresh air might help you.

” I let myself be guided to the street exit despite alarm bells ringing that this was a bad idea.

I did not want to be alone with Connor Donnelly.

The fresh air hit me as soon as we passed the exits, and the dizziness increased tenfold.

I could feel my stomach starting to heave and leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths and battling to keep the dizziness at bay, determined I would not be throwing up tonight.

All the while, I could feel his hand rubbing soothing circles on my back.

Once the spinning stopped, I stepped away from him and tried to tidy myself up as best I could and get some space from the delicious feeling of his hands on me.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked.

“Ya, I’m grand now, thanks. You don’t need to stay with me, go on back to the boys,” I replied casually as I got my bearings and started to move in the direction of the chipper. I needed food and I needed it now.

“I’m not going to leave you out here on your own, Róis. Besides, it’s nearly over anyway.”