Chapter 1 #2
“I’ll be grand, the girls will be on in a few minutes,” I replied, already mentally running through what food I was going to order once I shook him off.
“I don’t want to leave you. I was hoping we could talk,” he said earnestly. He suddenly had my undivided attention.
“About what, Connor? I’m hardly in a fit state to have a conversation with you right now,” I snapped.
“Okay, well why don’t we go get something to eat? The chipper isn’t busy yet, and you could probably do with some soakage,” he smiled knowingly.
Dickhead. The chipper was exactly where I was headed to bury my face in a taco chip, preferably without an audience.
Making the decision that I was too hungry to give a shite whether he was there or not, I turned on my heel and walked the fifty feet to the chipper, Connor keeping an easy pace with me.
After he’d ordered for us both, annoyingly remembering my order, I sat down in the booth.
I could hear the noise in the street increase as the nightclub started herding everyone out.
“So, how was your night?” he asked, tilting his head towards me as he passed me a bottle of water.
I shrugged, doing everything I could not to meet his eyes as he tried to trap me in that golden crisp gaze.
After that fateful night we’d spent together when he’d taken my virginity, we’d stayed awake for hours talking and staring into each other's eyes. I didn’t hear the majority of what he’d said because counting the flecks of gold in his eyes put me into a trance - one where I felt like my heart would burst through my back just from basking in the glow of his attention.
I sipped my water and just stared at the neon menu.
“I was kind of hoping I might run into you tonight.” My head jerked back to him, not sure I’d heard him right.
“It was fairly slim chances of that happening,” I answered steadily. The water was already making me feel better, so I met his stare as the chipper started to buzz. The drizzle had started to come down outside and everyone was pushing inside to escape it.
“Well, not really. You’re kind of a creature of habit. Sundays are O’Connells, Tuesdays the Bounty, Thursdays the Lodge,” he shrugged.
I closed my mouth as I realised I was gaping at him.
“Okay, that’s a bit creepy. How could you possibly know that?”
He broke eye contact, looking shifty, “I’ve seen it on your socials a few times.”
“You’re not on my socials,” I answered immediately. This was something I was acutely aware of, given the number of times I had sneakily stalked his socials over the years.
“I might have gone in for a look a few times.” He turned back to me with a sheepish grin that made his eyes crinkle, and I chomped down on my lip to keep from smiling.
“You’ve never gone in for a peep at mine the odd time, no?” he asked, leaning closer to me with a flirtatious smile.
“204 - I've called you three times. Your order is up!” the girl behind the counter bellowed.
“Fuck, that’s ours,” he said as his head jerked up.
I used the seconds he was gone to pull myself together.
It was four years ago when I’d last seen Connor.
Just finished my Leaving Cert, about to combust with excitement about starting college, and having just taken things all the way with him.
I had been mad about him for years before he finally noticed me in Keiley’s one night, and it hadn’t been long until my crush turned into love.
I thought he’d felt the same; he certainly put on a good show for the six months we were together.
But the show was over the morning after we’d slept together, and he’d told me he didn’t see it going anywhere and it was better we just left things there with no hard feelings.
I’d kept my face blank as I’d dressed, hoping he couldn’t somehow hear the sound of my heart breaking into a million pieces, and I’d held my head high as I flounced out of his room before dissolving into hysterics in my car.
“I got you a Club Orange as well,” he said, slipping back into the booth.
I blinked up at him, in the midst of feeling that seventeen-year-old heartbreak all over again, and did what I do best. I glanced away while I heaved those walls around my heart back into place.
The walls I had painstakingly built because of him.
Even sitting here having any civil conversation with him was a betrayal of my younger self, the one who’d spent so many months crying herself to sleep.
“I’m actually going to head; I’m off to a house party with a friend.”
He looked confused. “What are you on about? You’re too drunk. Whose house party?”
“It’s my friend's friend.” I started to slide out of the booth.
“Is it that bartender?” His expression had turned stony, his jaw clenched hard.
“What’s it to you if it is?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Because you’re in no fit state to be heading off with a fella you’ve just met.”
I could feel the temper bubbling inside me.
I wasn’t planning on heading to the house party, I just wanted him to think I was.
I planned on going home and to try and process this mess of a night.
But the fact he had the neck to try and tell me what to do made my skin flush with rage.
I leaned over the table until I was an inch from his face; he looked surprised but leaned towards me.
“What I do, Connor Donnelly, is none of your fucking business.” And with that, I grabbed my taco chip and sauntered out - I wasn’t going to let that bad boy go to waste!
********
The next morning I jerked awake, looking around confused to find my friend Cian staring at me.
“You fell asleep on my shoulder, Róis...”
I straightened up, wiped the drool off my chin and gave Cian an apologetic smile.
Despite being horrifically hungover from last night, I had still dragged my sorry carcass in for my 9 a.m. tutorial on Politics.
It was 10% of my final grade and Professor Murphy barely registered anyone was in front of her as she droned on and on for the sixty minutes anyway, so sneaking a nap in for her class wasn’t unheard of.
“Ahem... nice of you to join us.” My head snapped up as I realised the deep voice of the lecturer was in fact not Murphy.
The blood drained from my face as I tried to process that Ronan, the barman from last night, was standing in front of me.
My mouth hanging open, I just gaped at him trying to make sense of what I was seeing.
“As I was saying before the snoring distracted me,” he smiled wryly in my direction, “Professor Murphy is on an unexpected extended leave of absence, so I’ll be filling in for her this term.”
Relief that I hadn’t gotten off with my new lecturer washed through me as I simultaneously tried to process the situation. Ronan was way better looking than I’d realised last night, but what in the fuck he was doing standing in front of me was breaking my little hungover brain.
Cian nudged me again and whispered, “Will you close your mouth, you’re actually gawping at him.”
I snapped it shut and tried to look like I was paying attention while my mind went into overdrive.
I had found the girls outside the chipper after my dramatic exit with Connor and, after reassuring them that I was fine (which they didn’t buy for a second), I cried myself to sleep eating my food in bed and woke up with taco sauce in my hair.
My dark blue eyes now more accurately resembled a bright red colour from crying, and my blotchy face had a clammy sheen to it as the hangover started to kick in.
My erratic thoughts were interrupted when I heard my name being called and I automatically answered, “Here.”
Ronan locked eyes with me. “Okay, Róisín Tierney.. guess I’ll be remembering that name.
” He cocked one eyebrow at me before moving on.
I could feel Cian’s eyes on me, obviously wondering what he was missing, while the horror was dawning on me what a mess I looked right now in front of Professor Ride.
Ronan had sandy blond hair that flopped across his forehead, eyes the deep emerald of a pine tree, and a jawbone you could slice your Christmas turkey with.
And here I was... wearing my big brother's GAA hoodie that was at least five times too big for me, my gym leggings with the hole on the thigh, and a face I hadn’t bothered to take the makeup off last night.
I’d scraped the wavy auburn mess that was my hair into a hun bun without brushing it and splashed some water on my face in the shower, rushing to make it on time for this class.
“Right, lads, that’s it for today. We’re not going to cover anything new since the agenda for the term is shifting a bit, so you get an early mark today.
” I gathered up my stuff to discreetly slide out in the middle of the crowd with Cian when Ronan called me, “Miss Tierney, hang back a minute, please?”
“Oh shit, no more naps for you,” Cian mumbled as he headed for the door.
I tried to regain some of my composure as I walked to where Ronan leaned against the desk, but I was horrifically aware of my arms..
. and the sense that I was walking like a seventy-year-old farmer whose wellies were too big.
I stopped in front of him and met his stare.
“Well, fancy seeing you here, Róisín.”
“Ya, in some countries they class this as stalking, you know?” I teased, as I lifted my chin brazenly, trying to front out this surreal scenario.
He chuckled. “If only I’d known there was no need of me scouring the place for you last night. Looks like you fell into my lap anyway.”
I could feel my face reddening at his forwardness; I thought getting my jab in first would put him on the back foot, but I was suddenly feeling very out of my depth.
“It’s a good thing I didn’t hang around considering you’re my teacher now for all intents and purposes. Do you want to explain how you’re here as said teacher instead of being a barman like you were a few hours ago?”
“This is just a temporary role until Murphy is back. It’s my last year finishing off my PhD. I take temping spots for lecturers in the humanities department whenever they pop up and got the call this morning. I take bar shifts in town when nothing else is going.”
“Lucky me, listening to you drone on for the next three months instead of Murphy.” I taunted as I tried to regain some control of the situation. The mouth-watering smell of his woodsy aftershave was throwing me off balance and I was acutely aware of the alcohol seeping out of my pores.
“Or maybe it’s unlucky me. I didn’t think I’d be coming across you again after you gave me the slip last night.
So, imagine I do, but now you’re sitting in front of me as my student.
” He had leaned towards me as he’d been speaking, and I was trying to hold my breath, not one bit confident I didn’t smell like a distillery.
I vowed to myself the next time I came across Ronan, I wouldn’t be looking like a homeless crackhead.
Ronan’s eyes were still locked on me when I grinned.
“Unlucky you is right.” And I turned and sauntered out the door, making my second grand exit in the space of twelve hours. I could hear him laughing softly as I closed the door behind me.
By the time I made it home for lunch after two more torturous hours of lectures, I kicked back in my bed to try and soothe my hangover as I started scrolling Instagram. Noticing a follow request, I bolted upright on the bed.
Ronan O’ Sullivan wants to follow you.
I blinked stupidly at my phone a few times, utterly thrown that he was continuing to dance this dangerous line.
He might have been a student himself, but in a temping role I wasn’t really sure what the rules were.
However, since he didn’t seem to care I wasn’t going to worry about it too much!
I quickly accepted and followed back, settling in for a few intensive hours of stalking Professor Ride.