Chapter 2
Ella rooted around in my bag looking for my concealer as we crowded the bathroom of the hotel reception.
Her cousin Ruth saying “I do” to her new husband, Sean, had been an emotional affair - but now that the ceremony was out of the way, I was thoroughly looking forward to what the rest of the day would bring.
I’d known Ruth all my life and while she was a good few years older than me, she’d always been in my orbit, especially given Ella and I were joined at the hip since childhood.
Luckily, that meant I’d been extended an invite as Ella's plus one to the big day, and since our other childhood best friend, Niamh, was going out with Sean’s brother, Dermot, it was a perfect session for the three of us.
Spending time around my childhood friends after the surreal week I’d had in college was a welcome distraction.
My head was still reeling from the encounter with Connor.
And the notification after Wednesday’s tutorial that Ronan O’Sullivan was following me on Instagram …
well, that had sent me down a rabbit hole so deep that I knew which shirt had been his favourite five years ago.
“Can you throw me over some loo roll, girls?” Ella's cousin, Megan, shouted out from the cubicle just as Niamh clattered in the door.
“Now don’t freak out,” she said, making eye contact with me in the mirror.
I whirled around as Ella launched a roll of toilet paper over the cubicle to Megan.
“Who don’t freak out? Me? Who’s she talking to?” Megan shouted from the cubicle.
“He’s here, isn’t he?” I deadpanned. Ella froze as Megan burst out of the cubicle, toilet roll dragging on her heel.
“No fucking way,” Ella said, staring at Niamh who nodded.
“Lads it’s grand. I don’t give a shite whether he’s here or not.” I shrugged.
Annoyingly enough, Ella and Niamh were eyeing each other instead of looking at me, while Megan kept pulling on Ella's arm to explain.
“What? Sure I knew there was a high chance he’d be here once we saw he was back from his mission, he’s Sean’s cousin. So long as he stays far away from me, it’s all the one. We’ll have a great day together anyway.”
“That man is like a cloud; when he fucks off, it’s a lovely day,” Niamh huffed out.
“You sure, Róis?” Ella asked, concern drawing her perfectly arched black brows together.
“Connor Donnelly got under my skin this week. Slightly. It’s not going to happen again. Come on or we won’t have time to get a drink before they call us for dinner.”
********
This really had to be a joke. I was standing with the girls at the entrance to the ballroom, looking at the seating chart, hoping beyond hope there was a way out of it.
Connor was at our table. Given how Sean was known to waffle, we already knew we were in for a long sitting with the speeches at the dinner, but now I’d be trapped there with him.
“There are ten of us at that table and the three of us will be on either side of you, so don’t worry, you won’t even have to talk to him,” Niamh reassured me.
We’d caught eyes and saluted each other at the drinks reception, but when he looked like he was starting to make his way towards me, I ducked into the three-deep crowd at the bar.
While I’d made a complete tit of myself by being so drunk the last time I’d met him, I still felt like I’d regained a little bit of dignity just leaving him alone in the chipper - and I planned to hold on to that dignity.
Smile - never let anyone know they’d landed a blow no matter how much it hurt: a mantra I lived by.
I nodded at Niamh and led the way inside, keen to just get ourselves settled at the table.
We joined the raucous table we were assigned to, which was essentially the singles table.
It consisted of us three, four of Ella’s cousins, and three of the groom Sean’s cousins and friends from hurling.
Which included Connor. I could feel his eyes on me as we greeted the table and sat down; he was positioned directly opposite my seat.
I avoided eye contact as I gave the table a sweeping smile and “How’re things?
” feeling his eyes bore into my forehead.
Ella’s cousin Megan pulled us into conversation straight away and started to quiz us on the nightlife in Limerick, not having experienced it much herself being in college in Galway.
As the meal progressed and the wine flowed, things got progressively looser and louder at our table.
I was just sitting down after getting my round in for the girls when Megan shrieked, “Her professor! Stop!” and swivelled her head to stare at me, “Jesus, Róisín, you’re a sly one,” she exclaimed, and I sensed all the lads at the table tuning into the conversation.
“Don’t mind Ella, girl, nothing happened.” I laughed, trying to shrug it off along with the attention of the table.
I could see Connor out of the corner of my eye, and he hadn’t moved an inch since I’d come back from the bar, eyes pinned on me.
“Yet, you mean,” Megan wiggled her eyebrows. “From what Ella said, he’s a complete ride, so time’s a-ticking to live out the student/professor fantasy, Róis.”
The girls all exploded with laughter while the fellas snorted into their pints. I could still feel Connor's eyes glued to me.
Ignoring him, I leaned in to whisper in Ella’s ear, “Was that seriously necessary?”
Keeping the smile locked on her face, she answered, “It was yeah, because that nosy bastard is zoned into every word that’s said when your name is mentioned. So, I figured I’d give him something he might not want to hear.”
I leaned back in shock to stare at her before she gave me a big wink and turned back to her conversation with Megan.
“It was a good tactic,” Niamh muttered to me from behind her hand, as she kept one eye on her boyfriend Dermot who was looking a little worse for wear at the top table. “I know you don’t care, but at least let us torture the fucker a bit on your behalf.”
When she put it like that...
As the night wore on and the speeches finally wrapped up, I slipped outside with Ella for a smoke.
The day had been going off without a hitch.
I’d been minding myself throughout the dinner while everyone else guzzled the wine, having a glass of water between my drinks to make sure I kept my wits about me while Connor was floating around.
I could hear him laughing and joking with the lads throughout the dinner and felt his eyes on me a few times.
But so far, I’d managed to keep my distance and planned to keep it that way.
One of Ruth's friends from school was in the middle of recounting her escapades from the hen party when I felt someone standing close behind me.
“Well Róis, having a good day?” I turned to find Connor engulfing my space. Ella was way too engrossed in the story of the stripper whipping his lad out at the hen party to notice who’d joined us.
“Ya, having a great day. You?” I shrugged as I took a small step back.
“Ya, good old craic. Looks like the band is about to start. Heard this crowd is good.” He held out his hand with a vodka and white. “Noticed you were nearly dry, so I got you one while I was at the bar.”
I didn’t want to seem petty not accepting it, so I smiled stiffly in thanks as he handed it to me.
“How did your house party go the other night?”
“Which one?” I quirked a smile.
He locked eyes with me. “The one you hightailed it out of the chipper and left me on my own for.” He looked like he was a good few pints deep but still had his usual calm composure about him.
“Ya, good craic. I better head back in. I can hear the band starting.” I went to sidestep him, but he grabbed my arm as I was going past.
“Is that it? You don’t want to talk about the fact I was out in Limerick that night hoping to bump into you?”
He was leaning over me with his chest brushing my arm, so close his mouth was nearly touching my ear. His breath on my neck was making me shiver and he seemed to know the effect he was having on me.
“I don’t know what there is to talk about. You ran into me, didn’t you?”
Ella was heading inside with the group she’d been chatting to, not even realising I wasn’t with them and leaving me alone with Connor. Again.
“Ya, and I’d been hoping to spend a little longer chatting to you before you ditched me for some random.” He was still staring at me intently, his thick black lashes curving over his cheeks as he looked down at me.
Standing this close, I was surrounded by the citrusy smell of his aftershave and the delicious notes of the sea that seemed to be radiating from underneath.
Being with him alone and knowing I had his full, undivided attention had my heart racing which was exactly what I had wanted to avoid all day.
I could put on the best show in the world to everyone around me, but I knew I was weak.
And to resist Connor Donnelly was not something I was sure I was capable of.
Not that I had any intention of letting him know that.
“Well, hope is a fickle thing, Connor,” I reached up his 6’1 frame to pat his shoulder and walk off, already cartwheeling inside that I was about to get one over on him again, when he moved in front of me. Leaning into my space so close he was sharing the same breath as me.
“See, that’s the thing, Róis. I don’t think it’s just hope on my end. I don’t think you wanted to leave then, just like I don’t think you want to leave now.”