Chapter 19 #2
Our Dads and their weak bladders arrived back from the toilet just in time for the second half, and we screamed ourselves hoarse as it turned into a roaring battle.
Clare made a huge comeback from six points down, and in the last minute of play, our full forward O’ Donoghue drove the sliotar over the bar to secure a win by only one point.
After our exuberant celebrations, I trailed our dads back to the car as Niamh joined them in a full post-match analysis.
I checked my phone and saw a message from Ronan with a ‘congrats’ and a Hurley emoji which made me smile.
I quickly went online to check the football results, before sending him back a Mayo for Sam meme.
He had made enough references over the past few months that I knew he was either at the match or glued to a screen watching it.
It looked like Mayo were in for a run at the All-Ireland this year (again), and as per usual the whole country would be screaming them on - hoping the dreaded Mayo curse would finally be broken.
The last time they had won as All Ireland was 1951, the legend goes the team passed a funeral without stopping to pay respects, and someone (witch or priest depending who was telling the story) placed a curse on the team.
Mayo would never win another All Ireland until every member of the winning team was dead.
The last living player of that team still showed up to every match. I shot off another message to Ronan.
Róisín: “Can we meet next week?”
Ronan: “Come to mine Sunday evening when you get to Limerick.”
We had another week of Easter holidays left, during which I desperately needed to cram for the exams that were starting the week after we were back.
But I needed to see Ronan as soon as I could and shake off this icky feeling.
I hadn’t spoken to Ella, and I was dreading seeing her.
Fionn cornered me when I’d gotten home from the match, and we’d gotten so heated with each other Mam had stepped in.
He thought I was being a dramatic diva, and I thought he was an idiot.
I was annoyed at him for going there with my best friend but mostly I was just trying to protect him.
He was madly in love with Ella - which he’d declared to me the second I’d walked into the house on Sunday after the match.
He just got even angrier with me when I pointed out that everyone knew he loved Ella; that was the problem.
She was just looking for a distraction. He went nuts after that, and Mam came barrelling into the sitting room, warning us to sort our shit out.
We agreed not to discuss it any further and just let me talk to Ella when I was ready.
I guess one comfort was that silage season was starting, so Fionn was about to be working day and night for the next few weeks while he joined the crew Healy had hired to cut silage for him.
He took a pause on his apprenticeship every summer to do the silage, and it meant he wouldn’t have a spare minute to spend on this farce of a relationship with my best friend.
When I pulled into our house in Limerick, I could see the girls had already arrived.
They all knew Niamh was with me after calling in sick to work (again), so they’d probably arrived early as a bit of a welcome committee for the poor girl.
I took a deep breath as I turned off the car and Niamh eyed me.
“You alright, Róis?” she asks with a furrow in her brows.
Ella, Niamh and I had never had a falling out, so this was uncharted territory for all of us.
I knew Niamh felt trapped in the middle, so talking to Ella was for her sake as much as mine.
God knew she had enough to be worrying about.
She’d been like Sherlock Holmes the past few days, determined to prove Dermot had cheated on her, and to be fair to the girl it was starting to look that way.
A friend of a friend in Blarney had come out of the woodwork and said she’d been with Dermot three years ago at a house party.
It was when Niamh was on a girl’s trip in London with me and Ella and he’d told this Aisling girl that they were broken up.
When she’d found out he’d lied to her, she’d decided to keep her mouth shut about it.
Niamh had been hunting for who he had cheated on her with to cause this break up, but it seemed like there was a lot we didn’t know about Dermot, and I had the worst feeling that Aisling in Blarney was only scratching the surface.
“Yep. Let’s just get it over with,” I said on a big exhale.
I wasn’t a massive fan of confrontation, but when I knew it was unavoidable I barrelled in headfirst, purely to rip the band aid off.
As we made our way into the house, juggling our bags and the bottles of vodka and wine Niamh had insisted we stop at the off licence for, the three girls all rushed to the sitting room door to greet us.
“Ah Niamh, I’m so sorry about that prick with ears,” Sara said immediately when Niamh got through the door. She was as delicate as always.
“Thanks Sars, better I find out now I suppose,” Niamh shrugged.
“Come in here, we’ve everything set up,” Sinéad said, grabbing Niamh and guiding her into the sitting room.
I could already see from the door they had turned it into the ultimate girl’s night; facemasks and scented candles on the coffee table, Crazy Stupid Love on pause at the beginning of the movie (Ryan Gosling - good call), and enough chocolate and wine to cover a camogie team.
Ella stayed standing at the door as Sara followed them into the sitting room, looking me in the eye determinedly.
“Can we go into the kitchen?” she asked with a firm tone, which instantly annoyed me.
I was expecting her to be a bit more contrite, eyes downcast, begging for my forgiveness.
I shrugged and barrelled past her to sit at the kitchen table, my jaw already clenched with the burning desire to tell her to fuck off.
“Me and Fionn...” she started, as she sat down opposite me, and I interjected immediately.
“You and my baby brother, who's grieving, you mean?”
She eyed me with reproach as she heaved a sigh.
“Róis, I love him,” she said with a serious tone. Just straight out with it, catching me completely by surprise and I blinked stupidly at her.
“You can’t. He’s the one that’s always had a crush on you; he never stood chance.”
“Says you!” she cut me off unceremoniously, with a sharp edge to her voice. “Yeah, he’s always had a crush and when we were younger it was cute. But he’s a man now, Róisín, and ever since Tommy attacked me, he’s been there for me like no one else ever has.”
My eyes rounded at that. “This has been going on since January?” I screeched. I didn’t mean to raise my voice, but I was so caught by surprise it automatically went up a few octaves.
“Well, at first it was just support. Fionn was there for me, but it started to turn into something more. I started to fall for him.”
“When?” I demanded. “When did you start to fall for him?”
I needed to know if Shea’s death played a part in her feelings for Fionn. Because if something else had influenced them, then they weren’t real and Fionn was going to get his heart broken.
“When Tommy’s bail was refused. That’s when I realised, I didn’t see him as just a friend. He was with me when I got the call from Garda Kelly. I was just so happy, and he made me feel so strong and brave, and we kissed.”
“Okay, no more,” I snapped. I did not want details of my brother's lips on her. But I was relieved at her timeline, it didn’t sound like Shea’s death had been a catalyst.
“Why did you keep it from me? It’s been months, Ella!
And I had to find out by seeing it with my own two eyes.
” My voice started to rise in anger again, but I felt so betrayed by her.
I realised it was because she had been keeping secrets from me rather than what the secret was.
If she truly loved my brother, I guessed I was happy for them.
Riddled with anxiety at how this could affect our friendship obviously, but still happy if they were.
The fact she’d lied to me though... that stung.
“I know, that part I am so, so sorry for,” she whispered with tears in her eyes.
“I wanted to tell you as soon as I knew there was something there between us. But then Shea died and your whole world turned upside down. I knew how worried you already were about your family, and I didn’t want to add to it by telling you about Fionn and me. ”
A tear tracked down her cheek as she finished, and I softened watching her. I could understand why she hadn’t found the right time to tell me, trying to protect me from adding even more worry to my plate.
“If you break his heart, I’ll break your nose,” I deadpanned, and she snorted.
“Jesus, going straight for the jugular threatening the nose, Róis! I know girl, I won’t.”
We looked at each other for another few seconds before we launched ourselves into each other's arms at the same moment. I supposed Ella as a sister-in-law would be even better than a best friend.