Chapter 9 When We Were Young by. Adele
Jackie
I looked over to Will as he looked straight ahead as we drove to Theo’s, my sister’s, house.
Our time at Janice’s had been successful.
I was able to take the pictures I had hoped for of the sigil and was even able to chat with Nancy for a bit about Joey’s disappearance.
She had said that she turned away to pick up a toy for Toby (their imaginary friend, apparently) and when she turned back Joey was gone.
No one had entered, there wasn’t a struggle, he was just gone.
I assumed that she had blocked it out. It is hard for anyone to process traumatic moments, and at times it was easier to just block it out. It made the most sense.
Following our conversation and being able to see Joey for a bit, I made my way to the room to take pictures where I saw Will and Janice.
I had no place to feel jealous. I had no claim over Will.
But when I saw them sitting next to each other so peacefully and comfortably holding hands, I felt just a twinge of jealousy.
It was ridiculous. There was no reason to feel that way.
I made a note to talk to Theo about it when we had a moment.
She was always known as the more emotionally attuned out of the two of us.
I smiled to myself thinking of my sister.
She was just two years older than me, but had a lifetime more of responsibility.
When Nate, our older brother, got us out of our parents’ house, she was sixteen but immediately took on a maternal role in my life.
We fled to San Francisco, to the very house she still lived in.
She had immediately began being the one responsible for ensuring I was doing my necessary schoolwork and eating healthy.
Nate was busy working and going to school.
He kept the roof over our head while Theo made it our home.
She still lived in that house with her five-year-old daughter, Violet. I made it a goal to visit them as many times as I could. I was lucky to have Fai as a boss for that as well because he always gave me the time I needed to visit.
Because of my frequent visits, I was deemed Violet’s best friend. It was just last year that Violet insisted I give her a nickname after learning that my name wasn’t Jackie and Theo’s was also shortened from Theodora.
Thus, Violet became Vi for all intents and purposes.
She may have been only five years old, but that girl was mighty and powerful.
Theo really had her work cut out for her to raise Violet.
Theo was a single mother. Vi’s dad was never around and essentially had walked out when Theo gave birth and never looked back.
We slowly pulled up to the house I still considered home.
It was a smaller Victorian house. Theo had kept the horrible yellow paint job Nate had done when I was sixteen.
The house consisted of two bedrooms and one bathroom.
It may have been small, but Theo had decorated it beautifully and we had knocked down some of the back walls and replaced them with large windows that looked over the pacific ocean in the distance.
The house was absolutely beautiful and was so full of memories it at times felt suffocating.
“Are you ready to meet the legendary Theodora?” I asked Will as the car came to a stop.
“Legendary?” he asked as he stood and exited the car.
I mirrored the action and met him at the sidewalk where he had our bags. He had insisted that as a gentleman (his words), it was his duty to carry my bag. I rolled my eyes when he told me this but he succeeded and had carried my bags since.
“She really is. All of us James’ siblings are.”
Will laughed and looked to begin to respond as a tiny body flew out the front door.
“Auntie Jack, you’re here!!” Vi screeched at the top of her lungs. I scooped her up in my arms and spun her in her circles until we both fell into a pit of laughter on the front lawn.
“I told you I would be here,” I responded as I finally caught my breath.
“You should just live here. Mama said you used to,” Vi reasoned as she moved to sit on my stomach.
“I agree,” I heard Theo say. I looked to see my sister standing on her front porch. Our bags were sitting next to her as Will leaned against the stair railing. In my distraction with Violet, I missed both of them. “You should move back because I need the help with this tornado.”
Theo and I resembled each other in all of our features except our coloring. Where I had our mom’s blonde hair and our dad’s brown eyes, she had the opposite with her blue eyes matching mom’s and brown hair matching dad’s. Other than those minor differences, we could be mistaken for twins.
Not identical, but damn near close.
I continued to stare at my sister as my niece finally made her way off of me. “Did you cut your hair?”
Theo laughed at my question. “No hello? No, ‘Hi my dear sister, I missed you so much. You are my favorite person and I will forever regret moving away?’”
Will began laughing, hard, next to Theo. “You two are so similar it’s kind of crazy.”
Theo looked at Will, as if assessing him. “You must be Dr. Bly.”
“I am. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Theo.” Will then turned to me as I stood from the lawn and made my way over to them. “Did you tell everyone to call me Doctor?”
I chuckled.
I definitely did that.
“Nope, I would never do anything of the sorts.”
Theo chuckled. She knew me too well and knew I was the culprit. She then pulled me into the tightest hug.
“Missed you, Jack,” she whispered in my ear.
“Missed you too, Theo.”
As the four of us made our way through the entryway, the memories of the house hit me like a freight train.
As I walked into the living room, the burn marks over the fireplace reminded me of when Nate thought it was a genius idea to get the fireplace started using gasoline.
Or the dent on the back wall I caused while learning to skateboard.
I was later told to only practice outside.
The walls were lined with pictures of Nate, Theo, Vi, and myself. There were some with our oldest brother Kai as well. Pictures from when we first moved here when I was only fourteen, pictures from graduations, birthday parties, late night drives when we were too broke to do anything else.
There were pictures of all of Vi’s firsts. First steps, first cake, even first time eating solid foods. Theo and I had almost no pictures from before Nate got us, so she overly documented Violet’s life in compensation.
As I perused the pictures, I came to a stop at the picture that always broke something small in me.
It was Nate and I. I must have been fifteen at the time.
The day that picture was taken, a girl at school had found out my siblings were raising me.
She had spent the entire day making fun of me, calling me the ‘orphan’.
I had come home and broken down in tears in Theo’s arms. I was so confused why she had been so mean.
Nate had come home from work and saw me crying.
When he learned the reason why, it was as if something had fractured in his eyes.
Without a word, he took me by the hand and led me out the back door.
We walked along the beach of the Pacific Ocean for close to two hours.
We didn’t talk about anything important.
In fact, I couldn’t remember a single point of conversation we had that night.
After a while, we sat and just listened to the waves.
It was at that moment I began to truly understand everything Nate had given up for me and Theo.
That was when Theo snapped a photo of us. The picture had begun to show the signs of its age, but there Nate and I were. Sitting on the beach side by side, existing in each other's presence.
Nate never got to be a reckless teenager or have his wild college phase. I don't remember him going on a single date in the seven years we had all lived here. He never complained, never spoke ill will against the situation, he just loved us with everything he had.
Theo’s voice broke my daydream. “You can put the bags back there. You’ll be bunking in Violet’s room. Hope you don’t mind the pink sheets. Vi and I are in my room. Jackie, you’re on the couch.”
“I can take the couch, Jackie can have the room,” Will offered.
I waved him off. “It’s okay, seriously. I have spent so many nights on this couch. You are the true guest here.”
Will nodded his head, understanding he couldn’t change my mind and made his way towards the room. It was sometimes scary how fast he could read me and understand my thoughts.
“He’s a good guy,” Theo stated as she sat on the couch. “I don’t mean to pry, but…”
“Yes you do, but what?” I laughed.
“Is there something going on between you too? Didn’t you say Fai hated him?” she asked as I sat next to her.
“No and yes,” I sighed. “I have no idea why Fai hates him, it makes no sense to me because he is genuinely a really good person.”
Theo looked at me skeptically for a moment. She had never been Fai’s biggest fan. However, she was grateful for how much he helped me, especially in getting sober.
“Do you wish there was something between you too?”
“Yeah, but nothing will happen,” I responded as I refused to meet her eyes. I did want something to happen. There was an undeniable attraction between the two of us. It felt like a true magnetic pull was between us.
A pull I was trying to ignore and fight.
“Jackie, I don’t want to misstep and I will always respect your decisions as long as they aren’t hurting you or other people,” she began as she turned to face me. “You don’t have to always listen and follow Fai’s advice and instruction. You can do what you want, even if he disagrees.”
I sighed. I knew she had a point, but she didn’t understand how much I owed Fai. I hid most of my addiction from Theo. She was pregnant with Violet when it started, and I left for Oregon by the time it was so severe it was affecting every aspect of my life.