Chapter 11 Insomnia by. IAMX
Jackie
I stopped to take a breath.
I had been running as fast as possible for so long I lost track of how far I had gone.
I couldn’t stop for long. I couldn’t let him catch up, or maybe I had to catch up to him? I-I couldn’t remember.
Why couldn’t I remember?
I looked around, trying to get my bearings. I was in a forest and couldn’t see past the trees. They were everywhere and towered so high I couldn’t see where they ended. They completely obscured the sky but the moonlight filtered through the branches.
Fuck, I couldn’t stop.
I needed to keep running. I took off through the trees.
I needed to run as fast as I could. My thighs burned from the exertion but I kept pushing myself.
I could hear footsteps. Were they in front or behind me?
Was I chasing someone or was someone chasing me?
Why couldn’t I remember? My feet ached, why did they hurt so badly? I looked down to see I had no shoes on.
Why did I leave without my shoes?
“Jackie!” screamed a voice in the distance. It was definitely in front of me. The voice sounded panicked. I must have been running towards them.
That had to be it.
“Hello?” I yelled back. “Where are you?”
“Jackie!” the voice yelled again. They seemed closer. I couldn’t tell if they were.
“Who are you? Where are you?” I yelled as I ran towards where I thought the voice was coming from.
“Jackie.” The voice sounded right next to me. I stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn’t find the source of the voice. Who were they? The voice felt familiar but I couldn’t put my finger on who it was.
“What’s going on? Where are you?” I yelled back.
I ended in a clearing within the woods. There was a cabin in the distance that was obviously abandoned.
There were no doors, and only windows on the second floor.
There was a light in one of the windows.
It flickered like a candle and was the only source of light nearby.
“Jack, you need to be careful.” This was a different voice, it came from inside the cabin.
Why were they calling me Jack?
I ran to the structure, trying to find some way in. How did he get in there?
“It’s not time yet, you can’t come in yet.” This voice I knew. I was positive I knew it, but I couldn’t place it. Why couldn’t I remember whose voice this belonged to?
I sagged against the cabin, my forehead resting against the facade.
“What do you mean it’s not time yet?” I asked, hoping for some clarity.
The voice sighed. “Always so curious,” it stated, almost to itself. “It’s just not time yet. I delayed it as much as I could. I’m sorry you’re first.”
The voice wasn’t answering any of my questions, just creating more. What am I first at? What did it delay? When will it be time? What was going on? Who was it?
“Jackie!” The original voice yelled, somewhere off in the woods.
I began to run towards it, hoping to at least identify this voice. “Don’t!” the voice in the cabin screamed, stopping me in tracks. “Stay away from him!”
“Him?” I asked.
“That’s all I can tell you. I’m sorry. Just… please be careful, Jack. I need you to be, okay?” the voice in the cabin responded.
I nodded in answer. I didn’t know what was going on, but this voice felt safe.
Familiar.
Trustworthy.
Slowly, I sat down next to the cabin, wondering what was going on. How did I get here? I must have ran. That could be why my feet hurt so badly. I looked down and saw I had no shoes on. Why would I leave without my shoes?
“Jackie!” screamed a voice in the distance. I looked up, trying to see who was yelling.
I looked around, trying to get my bearings.
I was in a forest and couldn’t see past the trees.
They were everywhere and towered so high I couldn’t see where they ended.
They completely obscured the sky, but the moonlight filtered through the branches.
I stood abruptly. I couldn’t stop. I needed to keep running.
I took off through the trees. I needed to run as fast as I could.
My thighs burned from the exertion but I kept pushing myself.
I could hear footsteps. Were they in front or behind me?
Was I chasing someone or was someone chasing me? Why couldn’t I remember?
“Jackie!” the voice yelled again. Who was it?
As I turned to look, there was suddenly a figure. It was far off, I couldn’t make out any features. Whoever, or whatever, it was, was tall. Very tall. He stood, with his head tilted slightly to the side. It looked to me, observing. As I took a step forward, it mirrored my movements.
Interesting.
I raised my right arm, and it copied. Then my left, and once again it copied me.
Slowly I walked forward, hoping to get a good look when it suddenly charged me.
I turned and ran as fast as I could. I ran so hard and for so long I could barely breathe.
I stopped to take a breath. I had been running as fast as possible for so long I lost track of how far I have gone.
I couldn’t stop for long. I couldn’t let him catch up, or maybe I had to catch up to him? I-I couldn’t remember.
Why couldn’t I remember?
Will
The moment I heard Jackie’s scream I ran into the living room to find her thrashing on the couch in her sleep. She looked in pain and let out another blood-curdling scream.
Fuck, I needed to wake her up. I ran to the couch and kneeled in front of her and started shaking her, in hopes of waking her up.
“Jackie! Wake up!” I said as I continued to shake her.
She still didn’t wake up and let out another scream. I shook her harder, needing to get her to wake up. I hated seeing her so scared, even asleep.
“Jacqueline!” I yelled while I palmed the side of her face. That did the trick. She shot up immediately, her brown eyes wide in fear and she took in the room around her.
“Who are you?” she asked, but looking in the corner.
I followed her line of sight to see nothing. “Jackie, it’s Will. Can you look at me?”
She still stared into the corner. “Where are my shoes?”
“Jackie,” I said as I framed her face and forced her to meet my eyes. “Who are you talking to?”
I saw the fog dissipate in her gaze. I could see her coming back to herself after her nightmare. “I-I don’t know. What’s going on?”
I sighed in relief.
There she was.
“You were having a nightmare, I woke you up.”
She nodded slowly as she looked around the room.
“Do you remember what your dream was about?” I asked, curious what had caused her so much fear.
She shook her head this time. “I-I don’t know.”
“Are you okay?” I was concerned about her. She seemed so shaken, even after being awoken.
“Yeah, I think so. Just…I’m just confused, I guess,” she responded, slightly out of breath.
I nodded as I stood up, letting go of her face in the process. “Cool, cool, cool. Ummm…” There is the stuttering teenage boy that always comes out around her. “I’ll just head back to…”
Jackie interrupted me. “Will, can you stay?”
“What?” I asked.
I heard what she said, but I must be misinterpreting her. Did she really want me to stay?
She cleared her throat as she scooted over on the couch. “Can you lay with me, just until I fall asleep? I… that dream… I don’t know, I just feel off and I don’t want to be alone.”
I practically jumped onto the couch and laid down, wrapping her in my arms in the process. She laid her head on my chest.
“You’re not wearing a shirt,” Jackie stated.
I laughed. I hadn’t even noticed. “Yeah, I forgot to put one on. After I heard you scream I ran out here as fast as I could.”
“I was screaming?” she asked.
“Yeah. It was terrifying,” I responded as I squeezed her closer. It felt nice having her in my arms.
I looked down to see her staring at my tattoos that lined my entire torso.
Being a professor, I had to keep them hidden in my day-to-day life.
They could all be covered by a simple long sleeve t-shirt.
“I didn’t know you had these,” she said in a quiet voice.
I was curious if she said that to herself more than to me.
“Most people don’t,” I responded.
She nodded again, her hair tickling my chest in the process. “I’m going to try and go back to sleep again.”
I smiled. She was so sweet when she was half asleep. “Sweet dreams, Jacqueline.”
This time she smiled and looked up to me, meeting my eyes. “Thank you, Will, for waking me up.”
She rested her head back down, and there we laid. As I held Jackie in my arms, I only had one thought. There was nowhere else I would rather be. This was the most at home I had felt… Well, ever. She was becoming my home.
It was insane.
I had known her for only a few weeks now, but she was already one of the most important people to me. Jackie was everything I wasn’t. She was bright, full of joy, full of love. I was dark with so much unresolved trauma I hid away and a blatant fear of love.
Jackie deserved so much better than me, so much more than I could offer.
But I was feeling selfish enough to ignore that and keep her close to me.
The more time I spent with her, the more I realized she was sunshine.
I had spent my entire life trying to hide the darkness I held within my soul, but with her I didn’t have to try. She obliterated it.