Chapter 18 Another Love by. Tom Odell
Will
Jackie hadn’t called me back.
The pathetic part? I had called her eleven times.
Eleven goddamn times I had called her with no answer.
It had been five days since we landed and the last thing I said to her was that I would call her to make sure she got home safe.
I did, but no answer. So I drove by her house like a psychopathic stalker, and there she was safe and sound. Just not answering my calls.
Maybe I had pushed her too far. I took her to Sleepy Hollow hoping to show her I cared, but I just had to ask too many personal questions.
Or maybe it was my actions with Griffin that pushed her away.
Maybe I was making up the tension between us the whole time and she actually didn’t care that much.
Goddamn it, I was spiraling. I knew I was spiraling, so here I was, on Sarah’s couch in her office hoping for some insight.
I turned to face my friend. I had just told her all my fears of Jackie ignoring me, which must have shocked her if her current facial expression meant anything.
“What?” I asked.
“I have known you for a decade, William, and have never in that entire time heard you talk about your feelings for that long of a time,” she explained.
I shrugged. “Blame Jackie, she makes me crazy.”
“You’ve only known her for a monthish now, right?”
I nodded in response.
“You’ve fallen fast.”
I sat up, confused. “What do you mean fallen?”
“You, my friend, love her.”
I scoffed. “I think I would know if I did.”
“Would you?” she asked, her eyebrows raised in challenge.
“What does that mean?”
“William, I love you, I do. But sometimes you are so dense.”
“Rude.”
Sarah rolled her eyes but began to explain, “You didn’t have a real example of love growing up so you don’t know what it is, so of course you wouldn’t know. Let me ask you some questions.”
I sighed. She wasn’t going to let this go. Sarah was an incredible woman and one of her best yet most annoying traits was her stubbornness.
“Fine.”
“What is the first thing you think of in the morning?”
I glared at my friend instead of responding because fuck if it wasn’t Jackie.
She laughed and continued, “That answers that. When you hear something funny or cool, who is the first person you want to tell?”
Once again, my only answer was a glare.
That only made her laugh again.
“Here, let’s rapid fire. If happiness was a person, who would it be? Who do you imagine growing old with? Who do you want to spend all your time with? Who is the best person you know? Who do you just want to sit next to and read a book? Who do you want to wake up next to?”
I raised my hand, cutting her off. I knew what she was getting at. “Okay fine, yes, Jackie would be my answer to all those. That doesn’t mean I love her.”
Sarah sighed and came and sat next to me. “That’s true, but I can see it in your eyes when you look at her.”
“What do you see?”
“You look at her the way I look at Faizal. You look at Jackie as if she hung the moon and the stars and fixes your broken heart little by little with each moment you're together.”
Fuck, she was right.
I still wasn’t sure if that was love, but everything she said was true, which made Jackie’s ignoring me even more painful. “She still hasn’t called me back.”
“God, really?” Sarah asked sympathetically.
I nodded. “I don’t know if I did something wrong or if I pushed her too hard or what. I… I just really fucking miss her, Sarah.”
“I don’t think it’s you. She hasn’t answered me or Faizal either. So much happened in San Francisco and New York. She’s probably terrified and confused.”
She was right. It was selfish to think it was all about me.
I too was trying to digest everything that had happened.
It felt as though we entered into a parallel universe where crazy things were normal.
I couldn’t believe I was theorizing she was going to disappear, but it was the only thing that made any sense to me.
“Has she told Fai yet?” I asked.
Sarah shook her head.
“Why not?”
Sarah sighed and pulled me up from the couch. “This conversation requires a stiff drink, come on.”
We walked from her office across her back lawn into her and Fai’s home through their back door.
They both made good money and had invested it into their home.
Sarah had decorated it with blues and whites but managed to make it feel homey and comforting.
I needed to see if she could help me make my home feel less sterile.
We wandered into the kitchen where she pulled out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.
“Sit.” She directed me to the kitchen table as she poured the drinks.
She wasn’t always able to keep drinks in her house due to both Jackie and Fai’s addiction.
I remembered two years ago when she had finally asked if she could keep a bottle of wine here.
She called me and made me hype her up for nearly an hour before she went to Fai and Jackie and asked.
According to her retelling, Fai said it wouldn’t bother him and Jackie responded saying she liked a challenge.
That sounded exactly like the firecracker Jackie was.
Even then, before I knew who she was, I thought Jackie seemed incredible and strong and beautiful and…
“Here ya go,” Sarah said as she handed me a drink, interrupting my thoughts.
I took the glass from Sarah as she sat across from me and took a long drink. She looked at me for a moment before breaking the silence.
“She won’t ever tell Faizal because of you, William.”
“Why? I know he’ll be angry we’re working together, but he's gotten over you and I being friends. Why couldn’t he get over Jackie and I working together?” I knew Fai hated me, and he would initially be angry, but he was a relatively level-headed guy. He would get over it.
Sarah shook her head. “I don’t think it’s that. Telling Faizal about the case opens up the door to talking about you. That opens the door about her feelings for you. When she finally says it out loud to someone, it will make it real.”
I sat silently for a moment, hope blooming in my chest. “Feelings for me?”
Sarah smiled. “I love this side of you. It reminds me of when we first met.”
I laughed. “I haven’t changed that much.”
Sarah raised her eyebrows in disagreement. “I have literally never seen you smile this much, yet everytime you say her name you are smiling like a clown.”
I just laughed harder. “Fine, okay, you’re right. Jackie just makes me feel… well, she makes me feel happy and free, I guess.”
“I can't believe I didn’t put it together before.”
“What?”
“How good you two would be for each other. Seeing it now and especially in New York, it just makes perfect sense.”
“What makes perfect sense?” We both turned our attention to the kitchen entrance where Fai leaned against the doorway.
“You’re home early,” Sarah stated and she stood and walked towards Fai. He began to lean in for a kiss to only be stopped by her. “I had a drink, so not right now.”
Fai smiled in response. “Jackie wasn’t in today so I got distracted less… Well, everyone got distracted less so we ended early. Is she coming over for dinner?”
“Nope, but William is staying.”
“He is?” “I am?” Fai and I asked in unison.
“Yep. I decided this weird feud is going to end.”
“Sarah,” Fai sighed. “Not this again.”
“It’s fine, Sarah, seriously. I’ll just go,” I responded as I stood and began my exit.
“You stop right there, William,” Sarah stated as she ran in front of me to physically stop me. “Please. Not for me, but for Ophelia,” she whispered.
I hung my head and sighed. God, Jackie was becoming my kryptonite. I would do anything for her, including suffer through a horrible and tense dinner just to make her life easier.
Slowly, I retook my seat at the table.
“Faizal, sit,” Sarah instructed as she put our drinks away and sat down as well. Just as I would do anything for Jackie, Fai would do anything for Sarah. “You two need to get over whatever is going on between you two.”
I sighed. I agreed, but I didn’t know what it was we needed to get over.
Fai had hated me nearly on sight. He never told Sarah why and never told me why.
Hell, he hadn’t outright said that he hated me, either, but it was obvious.
He was cold with me, refusing to engage in small talk or a conversation, and was only cordial when Sarah was around.
“Sarah, I love you, but this is completely unnecessary,” Fai responded. “I’m also too busy for this and need to run by Jackie’s. I haven’t heard from her since she got back from San Francisco.”
“No. We need to do this, it’s about time,” Sarah argued.
“We don’t need to. We are all perfectly fine with the arrangement we have now,” Fai argued back.
I felt like a third wheel in this conversation but didn’t want to get in between the two of them. It seemed like a safer route to stay silent.
“We’re not all perfectly fine with this!” Sarah said, obviously frustrated.
Fai, obviously confused, looked at his wife for a moment. “What’s going on? What’s changed?”
I looked down hoping he wouldn’t see that I was what had changed. That I was falling for Jackie and his anger and hatred for me was causing issues for her.
Sarah sighed and looked at me for a moment almost apologetically before answering. “Besides me, who would you do anything for?”
Fai answered, even more confused. “Why does that matter?”
“Just answer,” I stated, finally speaking up. I knew where Sarah was leading this, and I knew it wouldn’t end well but it was necessary.
Fai needed to know about Jackie and I.
“Jackie,” he answered.
Slowly I looked at him, knowing that the small amount of respect he had for me was going to snap. I watched as he began to put some of the pieces together.
“You and Jackie?” he asked, not elaborating.
I shrugged in response because honestly there wasn’t an us yet, but we both wanted there to be. At least I hoped she wanted that too.
“How?” he asked through clenched teeth.