Chapter 38
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Unintended Consequences
JAMIE
Jamie tried to dissuade Shannon from demanding a personal assessment lest she be ostracized from her little group of singles and pelted with fresh garlic knots.
So, she agreed to tell Shannon but she would soften her original judgments from unsophisticated, gullible, whiskey tango South Florida vibes to …
“Well, I pick up down to earth, positive outlook, and possibly new here?”
Shannon blinked at her and then her eyes went wide. “Oh my God. I just moved here from Florida! And my psychic said the same thing. She said I was sunshiny!” She sat back, satisfied with Jamie’s assessment. Kyle beamed at her.
Rick cast a more skeptical expression her way. “I could have told you that. She has a pineapple tattooed on her ankle, still smokes cigarettes, and drinks like a fish. Nothing screams South Florida like that does.”
“Hey!” Shannon protested. Kyle put a supportive hand on her shoulder and said, “I like pineapples.”
“See? It’s not much a gift really,” Jamie said, relieved the focus was off her.
“Seriously, I think I could give this a shot and be just as accurate.” Rick jutted a thumb in Kyle’s direction. “Take nerd boy over here.”
Kyle, clearly offended, piped up, “I’m not a—”
“I’d bet a grand that he works in computer science, still calls his mom on Sundays, and his only friends are fellow nerds. Am I right?”
“No,” Shannon said. “His other friends are gamers.”
“Fine,” Rick allowed. “Gaming nerds.”
Kyle looked as if someone had ripped off his pants. Instantly nervous, he said, “I have to go to the bathroom.” He got up from the table. Shannon shook her head and smiled, then got up and followed him.
Jamie said, “I don’t think this is the best way to—”
“See? I’m a genius.” Rick, self-satisfied, sat back.
“Not so fast, Einstein,” Holly said. She turned to Jamie. “It’s deductive logic and visual cues? That’s it? That’s your gift?”
“There’s a little more to it than that,” Jamie defended.
Holly kept her eyes trained on her. “I don’t think you’re telling the truth.”
Jamie remained silent.
“What I mean is, you sugarcoated that for her, didn’t you?”
Jamie, exasperated and realizing this was going off the rails, said, “Let’s not do this, okay?”
“What was your real assessment of Shannon?”
Jamie sighed but could not resist sharing her real thoughts. “Unsophisticated, gullible, a slight wisp of South Florida white trash.”
Rick and Holly slowly nodded. Cliff remained very still, very quiet.
“That’s more accurate,” Holly quipped.
“I still think with a little practice, I could be just as good,” Rick said.
“That’s because you’re self-absorbed, vain, and thoughtless.” Holly looked over at Jamie as if a student seeking professorial approval.
“Maybe a little narcissistic,” Jamie corrected.
“Yes!” Holly exclaimed.
“I don’t see that at all,” Rick retorted in Holly’s direction. “You’re rigid, repressed, and angry.”
Judging by Holly’s expression, which was a murderous glare, this did not sit well.
“Like I said, this is not good idea,” Jamie said, trying to end this entire line of conversation. “Let’s play charades.”
Holly and Rick were now in a locked-horns battle, casting aspersions toward one another between bites of garlic knots.
“Ice queen!”
“Smarmy, pointless huckster!”
Jamie looked over at Cliff, who was looking out to the street as more police cars were lining up. He was not participating in their conversation.
“Something wrong?” Jamie asked quietly.
Cliff didn’t say anything at first. When he finally looked at her, he said quietly, “That’s some gift.”
“Stupid party trick.”
“All evidence to the contrary. It was your career.” Cliff hung his head. “Impressive, of course. But it makes me wonder.”
“What?” Jamie asked.
“How can you possibly get to know someone if you’ve already made your mind up about who they are after a few minutes with those kind of snap judgments?” Cliff asked as he stared off into the distance.
“I don’t make up my mind, I just try to pick up on cues, on energy,” Jamie said, getting slightly defensive. “People tell us who they are all the time without using words. It has to do with behavior, conscious or unconscious. I just pay attention.”
Cliff shook his head. “Ah, so how am I doing so far?”
Jamie’s head began to pound. “If you really want to know, what came up for me was charming, charismatic, confident.”
“Hmmm. I feel like you’re leaving something out.”
Jamie thought back to her first impression and picking up smooth. But couldn’t put her finger on what that was. “No. I think I have to get to know you better.”
“I think you judge people prematurely,” Cliff said.
“I assess them.”
“And in some cases you send them to prison?” Cliff said, his tone devoid of warmth.
“That’s not fair. I helped put away some very dangerous, very guilty people.”
“Ever accidentally send an innocent person away?”
Jamie froze.
Cliff cleared his throat and looked out at the street.
He seemed suddenly hooded, withdrawn. “I think people are much more complicated than three descriptors. Putting people in boxes is convenient, but it’s also lazy.
I’m willing to bet you’ve had your small share of mistakes.
Don’t we all deserve a little more time and consideration than your little party trick allows?
Excuse me.” He got up from the table and walked over to the bar.
Jamie sat silent, stunned by his comment, and watched him walk away.
Shannon had stomped back from the bathroom clearly angry. Kyle was in tow trying to explain. She wheeled around and stopped him.
“Just because you cannot own up to who you really are does not give you the right to make anyone else feel ashamed, Kyle. Now for the love of the gods of Azeroth, leave me alone.”
Shannon turned and went to a corner of the dining room and began to consult the contents of her purse. Kyle, looking hopeless and at a loss for words, wandered over to the bar where Justin was making another fort out of straws.
Six singles had come on a date that evening and as of ten thirty PM, none of them were on speaking terms, unless you counted Rick and Holly, who were yelling insults to each other.
“Penniless shrew!”
“Gigolo con man!”
This was the worst date ever.