Chapter 39
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
When Masks Fall
CLIFF
As the evening progressed and the police parsed out what was going on with the chaos outside, inside, disaster had befallen their group blind date.
The room, once dazzling with white linen tablecloths, sparkling wine glasses, and a warm buzz of romantic potential was now exhibiting prison yard vibes.
Trap people together long enough, and eventually things get ugly. Cliff should know.
Rick and Holly had momentarily ceased hurling insults at each other and were in opposite corners of the room.
Kyle and Shannon were separately sulking and not speaking.
Even Cliff, caught off guard by Jamie’s uncanny intuition and prior career as a profiler, had shut down on her out of fear she’d sniff him out.
Boredom had now taken over and it was clear that if they were trapped together without the use of their phones, talking to each other was the only decent way to pass the time.
When Chef Pascal delivered a plate of grilled cheese sandwiches to the center table, all of them slowly migrated in the direction of the comfort food. They all munched or nibbled in silence. Until Cliff asked, “What brought us here?”
Shannon asked, “What do you mean?”
“I mean, why are you here? It’s one thing to deal with the dating apps, leave it up to fate, rely on friends to set you up. But this Dinner for Six? It takes a little bit more effort.”
Shannon sat back for a second and then offered, “My mom got sick. I took care of her for the last eighteen months until she died. I was never lonely until that happened. I have always had some guy hanging around, always dating here and there, but I never needed a relationship because I had her, like a home base. Plus, all the guys I dated wanted me to be slightly different from what I was. No one really got me the way she did. But when she died, everything got too quiet. I looked around and realized I’d forgotten to build a life for myself.
Then I met Lorna, and she made me feel like she could help me, I guess.
” Shannon nibbled at the crust on her grilled cheese sandwich and offered a sad shrug.
The group seemed to welcome Shannon’s unabashed honesty. Cliff looked over at Kyle, who remained silent and unmoving. Holly took up the call.
“I’m here because a hypnotist ruined my life.”
“Haven’t heard that one before,” Rick piped up, curiosity in his tone.
Holly ignored him. “I was failing at everything. I was, well, I am, stuck in a dead-end job with a boss who refuses to give me a raise—or credit for my hard work. All my siblings are married. All my friends are coupled up. So, naturally as a woman, I figured there was something wrong with me. I went on a quixotic quest to try to identify the problem and fix myself. Talk therapy. Gym memberships. Hot yoga.”
Shannon said, “Been there, sweated it out.” She gave a fist bump to Holly, who returned it.
“I read all the books about what men want. Which isn’t rocket science.
Still, nothing was working. So, on a suggestion, I went to a hypnotist who promised he could open my mental block toward love, change my trajectory.
But the brain works in mysterious ways. Somehow when I went under the hypnosis, the process shunted off the part of my brain that could participate in basic social graces and as a result, I became honest to a fault.
I can’t tell a lie, even a little white one. ”
Shannon tested this theory. “Am I a natural blond?”
“If you’re a natural blond, I’m a toaster,” Holly answered.
Rick stared wide-eyed at Holly and muttered, “Dear God, that explains everything.”
Holly nodded toward him. “So, as you can see, I am doomed. I lost what little dating skills I had. Then I met Lorna, and she offered hope. However, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s possible she’s just insane.”
The group took a moment to ponder this.
Kyle cleared his throat and raised his hand.
“My mom put me on a single’s prayer list at church,” he said after getting their attention.
“I didn’t think my life was that bad, but in Twin Falls, Idaho, if you’re on the prayer list, your life has gone horribly wrong.
Either you have Stage 4 cancer, you’re losing your house, or you’re facing jail time.
The thing is, I know what I have to do, I just can’t bring myself to do it. ”
“Like what?” Rick asked.
Kyle said, “I don’t care to share.”
“What are we talking about, Kyle? A fentanyl addiction? Are you a human trafficker? What is so bad that you can’t share it?” Rick asked.
“I don’t do drugs,” Kyle protested and then immediately shut down and refused to reveal his secret.
“He’s a gamer,” Shannon said flatly. “And for some insane reason, he cannot admit it.”
“It’s not like that’s a secret, big guy,” Rick patted Kyle on his shoulder. Kyle seemed to crumple at the news that Shannon knew exactly who he was.
No one said anything for a moment until Rick took a long swig of his bourbon and put both his hands on the table.
“When I was a kid, my dad used to say “Men are simple. All we want is sex, success and a sandwich.’” Rick chuckled.
“I idolized him. I built an empire on his philosophy. Make the money, become the boss, insulate myself with sycophants. Treat friends, associates and women like their needs aren’t as important as mine.
And for a long time, it worked for me. But then I woke up in the hospital. ”
Shannon let out a little gasp. Kyle touched her arm.
Rick continued, “I had been in an accident. I was relieved when I was told it was just a simple drop in blood pressure that caused me to fall and hit my head. But the thing is, no one was there.”
“Was this hospital in a zombie apocalypse? What do you mean no one was there?” Holly asked.
“Of course there was staff there. What I meant is, no one was there for me. Not a single call came in. Not a single visitor. No one wondered where I was. Or cared whether I was alive or dead in that moment. I realized that my dad hurt or left nearly everyone that loved him, including me. And I got to thinking that maybe his outlook on life was total shit.” Rick’s eyes misted over for the briefest second.
The group seemed to collectively agree that this was indeed dreadfully sad.
Rick took a big bite of his grilled cheese sandwich to stave off the tears and added, “So, I thought it might be time to get a little more serious about myself, about meeting someone. Maybe even love is possible for a guy like me. I mean, a man can change if he wants to, right?”
Kyle gave him a small nod of encouragement. “Yeah, he can.”
“Dating someone your age would be good for starters,” Holly piped up. Yet, she put a hand over his in comfort.
“There’s a first time for everything,” Rick said wryly, as he looked over at Holly. “What’s your story, Weston?”
Cliff didn’t want to start at the end. So, he started at the beginning.
“My mother died when I was thirteen years old. She was warm and all my memories of her are beautiful. She sang all the time. Walked around our house singing or humming. Became a soundtrack of sorts. Taught me all the important things in life. How to behave like a good person. My father was in finance, and the death of her broke something in him. He got into trouble. And when he did, instead of shielding me from it, he dragged me into it.” Cliff paused, thinking about the last time he saw his father, in the court room after a guilty verdict, still telling Cliff everything would be fine, he just needed to get a few things sorted.
But his father never got things sorted and he was in Child Protective Services that very afternoon.
“It wasn’t long after that I was put into foster care. ”
The group leaned in and Cliff could feel waves of sympathy directed at him.
“It wasn’t so bad. I had it better than some.
But it makes a kid grow up way faster than a kid should.
I kept waiting for my dad to come back and get me.
” Cliff paused, remembering waiting by the window in a bedroom he shared with two other foster kids.
He sat at the window nightly bargaining with God.
But his father never came back for him. Cliff couldn’t bring himself to say those words out loud.
He preferred to think that his dad died unexpectedly and never made it back.
“So, I aged out of foster care and found my way in the world.” Cliff paused, not wanting to bring out the whole ugly truth.
“I think I’ve spent my life looking for something that feels like home.
But I don’t think it’s a place.” Cliff paused considering his words.
“It’s more like an idea I’m chasing. Where I can sit next to someone and not have to perform, but rather just be.
On a couch that is covered in dog hair with a fridge covered with crayon drawings.
Surrounded by books and records. A place where I’m fully known and still chosen anyway,” Cliff said quietly, in Jamie’s general direction.
“Lorna made it seem like it was possible, like I had a chance to find someone like that.”
“Aw,” Shannon whimpered as she wiped a tear away. Kyle patted Cliff on the back.
“So, I guess Jamie, that leaves you.” Cliff turned his attention to Jamie.
Jamie seemed caught off guard by the question and squirmed at being put on the spot even though it was like a slow-moving trainwreck. She took a swig of wine and then let out a breath. “I need a decent date to my mother’s wedding or else she’s cutting me out of her will.”
Shannon smirked. Kyle fiddled with a straw and frowned. Rick chewed his sandwich and shook his head. They were all waiting for more. Holly finally said, “We’re being honest to our cores, and you throw us that line of shit?”
“What? It’s true,” Jamie retorted.
“I’m sure it is true, but that can’t be all.” Rick gestured for her to continue.