CHAPTER EIGHT
WARD
“GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES .” I say to Atlas as I glance around the kitchen and rub the back of my head.
Penelope has her purse in one hand and a garment bag in the other when I glance up.
No doubt she found it in one of the closets and has tucked her vintage Chanel dress inside. I can’t help but respect that under the circumstances.
A woman who appreciates the importance of protecting couture in the face of being caught with her pants down...well, that’s admirable.
And the kind of grace I expect from her.
“Take your time. I think it’s pretty clear what happened, so you don’t need to hurry back and explain.” Altas sips his coffee, and I want to slap the smirk from his face.
But I’m also slightly relieved.
Of all my kids, he’s the one I’m the least concerned about. Atlas is my optimist. The one who takes life in his stride and seems comfortable in his own skin. They all are, in their own way, but perhaps it’s because he’s a creative.
Or...who knows why our kids are like they are?
If it had been Knox. Jesus. A whole other story.
Bella would likely be trying to make friends with Penelope and have her babysitting.
Levi. Shit. I just don’t know. I need him focused on his football career. These years are so important to him. As the baby of the family, losing his mom so young was harder on him.
I think.
Men. We just don’t talk enough.
Even though I think I talk to my boys more openly than most dads. At a guess. Like all parents, I’m fucking winging it.
“Message your brothers and I’ll kick your ass.” I growl under my breath as I pass my son.
He spits out his coffee, coughing and laughing, while I go and say goodbye to Penelope.
I gather her coat from the closet and steer her outside, hoping another one of my offspring doesn’t show up.
“I’m sorry.” I smile down at her.
“Don’t be.” She shakes her head but barely meets my eyes. “We were saying goodbye, anyway.”
It felt to me like my cock was waking up again, having her on my lap. Feeling her tongue sweep over mine. Her soft breasts pressing against my chest.
So much for fucking her out of my system.
A second night with her has made me desire her more...and not just physically. Making her breakfast and teasing her as she padded around my kitchen was...nice.
Her giggles had me smiling like an idiot, feeling all macho and shit. I...liked it.
I could’ve easily tucked her under my arm and curled up on the sofa watching movies for the day. Or, in better weather, dragged her out to the tennis court and tested her skills.
Made her a cocktail and watched her swim lengths—naked—in my heated lap pool.
Adopted a fucking dog and gone walking in the park together.
I don’t want her to leave.
Damn you, Atlas. I love you, but couldn’t you have visited tomorrow instead?
I have an open-door policy in my home, but I guess, if I want to have a relationship one day, that rule will need to change. A woman who is not their mother wouldn’t appreciate them just walking into her home.
My chest tightens.
I’m not sure I could ever be ready for that.
Or if they will be.
I glance around and then tuck a stray dark lock over Penelope’s ear. She’s put the rest up in a ponytail, making her look younger than her forty-one years.
It’s time for that goodbye.
“Once again you were absolutely divine,” I rumble.
She nods, dropping her eyes. I lift her chin with my finger, stepping closer, as the Uber she ordered pulls up.
“I want to see you again.”
Shit.
It falls out.
I don’t know what I’m asking, but the words just tumble out before I can stop them.
“No,” she replies, immediately meeting me head-on. “I can’t.”
I nod.
“Okay.”
No, it’s not.
Fuck that.
“Why?” I ask, not accepting her answer.
The driver gets out and rounds the car, opening the door for her.
Fuck off.
“Because I could fall in love with a man like you. And you will never love me. Goodbye, Ward,” Penelope says, kissing my cheek, then rips out of my arms.
She’s in the back of the car before I can catch my breath after the shock of her words. I stand there watching the driver pull away and take her with him.
I could fall in love with a man like you.
I don’t know how long I stand there. The Uber has left the property, and I’ve swallowed loudly at least twice.
“Dad?” Atlas says behind me.
“Yes.” I shake myself out of it, turning.
“Who is she?”
TURNS OUT MY MEMORY is going because an hour later my house is filled with my kids and grandkids for lunch.
I spend most of the day watching Atlas to see if he’s whispering in his siblings’ ears, and the others to see if they are looking at me differently.
It’s torture.
The other part of my brain is distracted by thoughts of Penelope.
I could fall in love with a man like you. And you will never love me.
Is she right?
I don’t know how other men deal with a declaration like that, but I’m taking it very fucking seriously. I mean, my cock was inside that beautiful woman for hours last night.
She’s not just...I’ve thought about her for weeks. Since that first time.
I wasn’t expecting this and don’t know how to deal with it.
“Grandpa,” Bella says to me, dipping her eyes at the toy I’m supposed to be playing with.
“Wampa,” Jamie, my granddaughter, repeats, clapping her hands excitedly.
“Oh, did you hear that? Blake! Your daughter just said Grandpa.”
“She said Wam-pa,” Bella’s husband replies deadpan. “And she still hasn’t said daddy.”
I ignore them. I’m struck by how much Jamie looks like her grandma, and it pulls me back to the reality of my life.
Fuck, this is hard. I don’t know how to be a man who lost his wife and desires another one without feeling guilt and like I’m lying to everyone I love.
Including Penelope.
She deserves better than this.
“Momma!” Jamie claps some more.
“You’re not mine.” Blake shakes his head, but winks at his daughter.
“Stop saying that.” Bella throws a toy at him.
I climb to my feet and slap Blake on the back. “Give it time. Knox said every word under the sun before he said daddy. But he also followed me around like a bad smell.”
“I was after your money.” Knox sips his beer.
I snort.
He’s not lying.
“Jamie,” Blake leans forward. “Daddy is rich. Say daddy.”
“Momma!” Jamie dances on her bottom and we all laugh.
“At least I’ve got a one in two chance of having my babies say daddy early.” Atlas grins, glancing over at Molly, who is pregnant with twins.
“Two disappointments.” Blake shrugs and then laughs when Atlas gives him the bird.
“Get over it, Blake.” Bella lifts Jamie into her arms.
“Bwakee!” Jamie declares.
“Are you fucking kidding me!” Blake throws his hands up and the entire room breaks into laughter.
Leaning on the edge of the mantlepiece, I stare out at my family. I’m blessed to have every single one of them. I never take for granted what life and Tina gave me.
Could Penelope take on me and my family? Would she want to? Perhaps seeing Atlas was a reality check for her.
I could fall in love with a man like you.
God, I’m going insane trying to get inside her head. Mine is enough to work out.
When I head into the kitchen, Atlas follows me.
“You going to tell me who that woman was?”
“As you said, it’s pretty obvious, son.” I pour myself a glass of water from the jug on the counter and watch him as I take a long drink.
I drop it on the counter.
“But I am sorry you had to walk in on that.”
“Please. I’m a grown man.” He scoffs. “Glad you weren’t naked—that would have taken some therapy.”
I cringe inwardly.
He means seeing his father being sexual—he’s seen me buck naked over the years. If it had been his mother, I’d hate it enough, but that it was another woman is exactly the thing I’m trying to protect my children from.
“It won’t happen again,” I say firmly.
Knox walks in.
“What won’t happen again?”
I cross my arms and press my hip into the counter, waiting to see what Atlas does. He stares back at me in question.
Fucking hell.
Why did I breed smart kids, not dumb ones?
I can’t lie.
I’d also like to keep this to myself. It is my private life, after all. But the reality is, my sons are close, and they’ll talk.
“I had a friend over for breakfast,” I reply, and Knox begins to tune out. Until I say, “A woman.”
His brows shoot up.
“And that’s all you need to know. It’s nothing serious,” I add.
I could fall in love with a man like you.
“Is it the woman you were talking to on the phone at the Super Bowl party?” Levi asks from the doorway.
I glance over Knox’s head.
Shit.
I am not ready for this conversation. But Tina and I always promised we wouldn’t lie to our children. Unless it was for a damn good reason to protect them.
“Yes.”
“She seems nice.” Atlas slides his hands into his pockets as my heart pounds.
She is. I just never thought I’d be standing in our family home talking to my kids about a woman other than their mother. I thought I’d be telling them to treat their wives—and soon to be wives—with respect. To be loyal their whole lives.
Not discussing my fucking dating life.
Not confessing that I brought a woman home and fucked her until my cock nearly fell off.
Or tried to.
Also, I am not mentioning that part.
“You met her?” Knox frowns as Levi steps farther into the room.
I hold up my hands before Atlas can launch into a description of Penelope on my lap wearing my clothes.
“He arrived before she left. Boys, it was just breakfast.”
“Ah, yeah, I don’t think it was just breakfast.” Atlas narrows his eyes at my downright lie, and I want to kick myself. “Unless she goes around wearing men’s trackpants.”
Fuck.
Knox crosses his arms.
Levi does the same thing.
Then Bella walks in. “What am I missing?”
“Dad is dating,” Knox declares.
When my little girl's face drops, I feel my heart break and everything I’ve been trying to protect them from comes crashing down.