CHAPTER NINE
PENELOPE
I HUG MY MOTHER AS she greets me at the door.
“Why has it been almost two weeks since I saw you?” She rubs my back in the way only a mom can.
I melt into her embrace and close my eyes.
I’ve regretted saying those words to Ward for two long weeks now.
I could fall in love with a man like you.
Pride is kicking my ass.
Not that I didn’t mean it, but I didn’t have to spit it out. The fact he didn’t stop me, call, message... I’m glad. I’m also not glad.
I guess it's true that women are complicated and impossible to please. I can’t even figure myself out.
All I’ve done is go to work and then head home to nurse what I guess is a bit of a broken heart.
Which is silly. I slept with Ward twice.
Two nights.
One breakfast.
And one emotionally unavailable man.
Instead of beating myself up, I’ve accepted that I was powerless to his charm and whole—I mentally circle my hand in front of me—sex appeal.
Ward is unlike anyone I’ve ever met. Sure, he’s a self-made billionaire who carries himself with a confidence, power, and grace few men have.
His potency tugs me toward him like a magnet.
Not to mention his strong jawline, bright blue knowing eyes, and broad shoulders, which make me weak at the knees.
Younger men don’t even compare.
But it’s the way he gazes into my eyes and how I shiver under his touch that make me completely powerless.
He knows exactly what my body wants, and his natural dominance tells me each time he’s taking it with or without my consent. It’s so wrong, but it just makes me want him more.
That and watching his stern gaze which dares any other man to come near me. A woman knows these things. Ward has claimed me. I sense it with every cell in my body.
The problem?
Ward doesn’t know it and I don’t think he wants to acknowledge it because he’s grieving over his wife still.
I can’t compete with that.
Which leaves me with a broken heart, a craving so powerful it hurts, and a ticking clock that says I need to move on and do it fast.
“Come, let’s eat.” Mom leads me through to the luxurious dining room where a huge crystal chandelier hangs over the antique oak table.
As kids, Eric and I were rarely allowed to dine here. Now we’re treated like royalty when we come to visit. They get out the silver and make a fuss about serving us.
“Hey sugar.” Dad walks in and kisses me on the cheek. “How’s the lobbying going?”
I love my father.
He’s been a solid presence in my life since the day I was born. Always believing in me and encouraging me to follow my dreams.
“Good.” I smile, and we ease into a comfortable dinner conversation. “I’ve got some PR lined up, so you might see me on TV this week.”
“You know I could just pay someone and make this happen, right? If you really wanted me to.” Dad smirks before biting into his fish.
I grin and shake my head.
“That’s cheating. And no. Thank you, Dad.”
Although it is very tempting.
Every time I visit farms and see the atrocious way animals are living in cages, I get so riled up. If there was more transparency, things would change rapidly. The media can do that faster than anything.
“What we’re doing is working. With more publicity, we’ll get a tipping point of change very soon.”
“I’m proud of you, sweetheart.” Mom smiles at me. “Now. Tell me. Are you seeing anyone?”
Crap.
“I heard you were seen speaking with Montgomery recently. He’s a bit old for you.” Dad lowers his brows. “I take it, it was a business conversation.”
“Mmm hmm.” I nod, laser-like focus on the broccoli I’m pushing around my plate.
With precision surgery.
“Shame that all his sons are now spoken for,” Mom says, and I suddenly feel sick to my stomach.
“Mom, they are young enough to be my sons!”
I gulp my wine.
“Oh, are they?” She shrugs.
Yes. Yes, they are.
And it’s their father who takes my breath away.
“How’s James?” Dad asks.
This.
This is why I stayed away for two weeks. I want to escape these questions, make an excuse, and head home to hide under my duvet.
Being forty, single, and childless is not fun. While my parents love and support me, they want grandkids. Neither Eric nor I have given them any yet. Though Eric is five years younger than me, so he has a greater chance.
The familiar tightness in my chest returns.
It’s a reminder that I need to make smart decisions from this point in my life. Sleeping with Ward might’ve been incredible in the moment, but it wasn’t taking me in the direction I want to go.
Being a mother.
Finding a life partner.
He is going to take time to get over her—time I don’t have—if he ever truly will.
So, I’ve decided, I need to take matters into my own hands. I’ve booked appointments at an IVF clinic and a top dating agency.
It’s doing things upside down, I realize, but at forty-one, I am not waiting for anyone anymore.
I suppose it’s like buying two lottery tickets and seeing which one I win.
Or perhaps I won’t win either.
What I do know is that Ward Montgomery is unavailable and is on a different path in life than I am.
You will never love me.
Goodbye, Ward.