32. Charlie
Charlie
“I’m serious, Charlie!” Ryder stalks me down the hallway before I slam the door shut.
Not even two seconds later, he throws it back open, and it hits the twangy doorstop.
He tosses his work shirt over his head before he points his finger at me.
“You're staying home tonight. I’m not doing this shit with you.”
I leap onto my mattress, biting my tongue hard enough to puncture it.
“You're seriously controlling!” I look over my shoulder as I pull out several thumbtacks from the wall. My cheerleading decorations are neatly organized in a pile on my mattress. I was packing up my room, but I made a big mistake. I snuck out of my room, being a scavenger of salt and vinegar chips in the pantry, and he spotted me like a cheetah. Now I’m in a heated argument with him.
“They are hazing kids tonight! You’re not going anywhere!” he shouts, with the muscles in his neck straining. God, he’s like a pulsating zit refusing to pop. He doesn’t know how to go away, and he’s annoying as hell.
“Okay, and what if I do go play?” I walk across my mattress and leap to the floor. I zip around the maze of boxes and packing tape and press my chest up against his. “You can’t tell me what to do.” I poke my nail into his sternum.
“You don’t get it! Once you play, you’re never leaving the game.”
I roll my eyes before turning on a heel. I snatch the packing tape, stomping over to a box filled with clothes.
“What are you going to do? Huh?” I ask as the sound of pulling tape fills the room. I tear it with my teeth before sealing up the box. “Are you going to act like a complete dickhead again, crash the party and beat up whoever I’m with, because I have plenty of those stories.”
“You don’t understand!” Everything in the room thickens, the tension between us wrapping around us like a vice.
“I’m not asking for your permission,” I say with a laugh.
“This isn’t funny! The guys there will take advantage of you.” His gaze softens, but the anger simmers just beneath the surface. “If you refuse, they will slip shit into your drink and get what they want. I know what this night entails, and you don’t.”
The pit in my chest feels like it’s swallowing me whole for a moment.
I can’t breathe. The walls close in on me as if the room itself is pressing against my chest. “Ryder, it’s just a stupid game.
” I attempt to sound nonchalant, but my pulse is skyrocketing, and I clench my fingers to control the trembling.
"Do you even hear yourself? This game isn’t a joke.
It’s not a stupid college initiation. It’s a way for guys to get away with everything, to strip you down to nothing, and treat you exactly like that.
Nothing but a piece of flesh.” He rakes his hands through his hair. “And you think it’s just a game?”
The lump in my throat grows larger, the words stuck between my teeth.
I let out a deep breath as my own thoughts are starting to drown me.
I don’t have a choice. Brody has a video of me blowing him.
If that hits the cheer coaches’ inbox, or if it explodes on some porn site, I will be kicked from the team.
I worked my ass off to get this scholarship and sponsored, but Brody’s grip is tighter than I imagined.
Not only is there a subtle pinch of pain in my heart for what he did to me, but he has chains around my neck, pulling me down into the fiery pits of hell. A place I can’t claw my way out of.
“You’re my sister,” he continues, his voice thick with emotion. “I know you better than you think. If you go, then Payton is going too.”
My breath hitches in my chest, and I bite my bottom lip. Tears sting the back of my eyes, and each exhale from my lungs is shaky. It’s like I can’t fully let go of the tension coiling in my stomach, but I refuse to cry. I shake off the emotions, swallowing them up before a single tear emerges.
“So you have a thing for my best friend?” I ask.
“For Christ’s sake! They will hurt you and humiliate you. There’s no coming back from this once you walk into the room. How come you don’t understand that?”
“Can you get off my ass?”
“If you go to that party and take Payton with you, then you're a real shitty friend.”
“Fine, I won’t go.” The lie slips off my tongue, and I bring my hand to my face, cleaning out the dirt underneath my nails. “Happy now?”
Ryder stands there, and we are silent. His face softens a bit as he kicks boxes aside and takes heavy steps up to me.
I refuse to meet his gaze as I keep a stoic expression.
My eyes fall to the floor, and I stare at his feet.
One of his socks is halfway on, and of course it has those permanent brown stains on them.
When Ryder reaches me, he doesn’t say anything.
Instead, he wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug.
“You’re annoying as shit, but it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you,” he says and I roll my eyes and pat him on the chest to cue him to let me go.
Payton slips on her Korn T-shirt, and we are twins, matching with the same denim shorts.
The only difference is I have red heels, and I plan on walking like a queen in them.
Then it starts to settle inside me as Payton gussies up in the mirror.
Payton is coming with me. It’s a textbook fact that she's a virgin.
She’s only made out with me for shits and giggles, and she’s never dated a guy or given one the time of day.
Anxiousness crawls up my spine, creeping like ice, freezing my veins.
I’ve been so wrapped up in my plan with Noah and the fragile hope he’ll win me.
I never once stopped to think about Payton.
She applies eyeliner, her mascara, and then she casually fixes her hair, completely unaware we will play roulette. I’ve dodged the questions, and brushed her off. To her, this is just another night out, just a party. But I know better, and I have for a while.
The tightness in my chest constricts my lungs. My stomach lurches as everything falls into place. I know how to play the game, but she doesn’t know the rules of roulette. I don’t think she’s even played a single game of poker.
“You almost ready to go?” I ask her as I lean into the mirror, making an O shape with my lips and making sure my lipstick doesn’t smear or cake up into my teeth.“Yeah, I’m almost done.” She stands on her tippy toes, leaning so close to the mirror her nose could touch it.
“I just can’t get this eyeliner to do what I want. I dunno why I even try to give myself wings.”
“Wings are overrated anyway.” I ruffle my hair, swaying back and forth to check myself out. These shorts are tight as hell, but I love how they showcase my thighs.
“So how are we going to get to this party, anyway? Your mom took the Honda, and your brother is at work.” Payton places the eyeliner on the cluttered counter.
I press my shoulders up to my cheeks, fluttering my eyes. “We are stealing his Jeep.”
Payton laughs through her nose. “How?”
“I got us an Uber. But I think, with how late we will be staying out, we may not be able to order a ride back.”
“He’s going to kill us.” Her mouth drops open.
“He’ll live... and we have to do one more thing,” I say.
“What’s that?” Payton asks. In the back of my pocket was a little note that Brittni slid me during orientation this afternoon that made me want to vomit.
“We need to stop by seven-eleven for some drinks.”