57. Noah
Noah
I’ve been staring at the same string for five minutes without playing a note.
The guys went inside to cook on the grill and call it an early tonight.
They’ve been giving me space. Not asking me much other than how I was feeling.
I didn’t ask for space, but probably needed it.
I’m mid-thought when I hear footsteps crunching down the driveway.
Payton’s voice cuts through the music playing through the amps. “Hey, Noah.” I put my guitar down and wipe my sweaty hand along my joggers. Ryder’s right behind her, hands shoved into his pockets, his expression unreadable. I tense up, hoping he doesn’t throw me against the wall again.
“Hey. What’s up?” I say. It’s been a few days, and I didn’t expect to see her other than finding her one day in the grocery store with ten kids.
“I have an idea on how to get back at Brody,” she says with her eyes going dark.
“Alright...” I say not expecting her to stop by with some random revenge scheme.
She starts talking about the upcoming football game and how there are big screens that display everything.
She goes on and on about hacking them. I guess she knows some crazy guy working down at the gas station that can hack into basically everything.
It sounds far-fetched to me, but I let her just spill it all out like girls do.
I nod and give her the mmhmm, and okays after every other sentence she says.
I blink at her. “Do you think our band could play at the football game?” I ask, as her idea has nothing to do with our band.
“We aren’t really mainstream music.” Which is true.
I don’t play bubble gum pop music. Not that I don’t respect it for what it is – I listen to Brittany Spears, but I certainly don’t perform that kind of music.
“Yeah.” She leaps on her toes. “Come on, they support local bands all the time.” She gives me a small, hopeful smile.
“How is our band going to help you with hacking those screens?”
“I don’t know. I figured you would write a song about how shitty Brody is.”
“You want me to write a song in less than a week.”
“Please, all you have to do is fill out this form online,” she says.
I snatch my laptop sitting on top of one of the amps as she starts hovering over me, showing me the website and where to go.
She keeps talking about the hacking idea, but I’m just blinking and half listening as I start to fill out the form.
I probably smile at her a little too long as Ryder is giving me a monstrous death glare.
His jaw twitching as if I’m aggravating him.
“I just really want Brody to pay for what he did to her.”
Revenge music. Okay. Yeah revenge is what is on my mind right now. I’m really not into that sort of thing. Maybe I am, but I would rather put the guy back in the hospital.
Payton points toward the front door. “Hey, mind if I use your bathroom?” She slowly backs up. “I had a lot of coffee,” she chuckles, rubbing her fingers together.
“Yeah, go ahead,” I say, clicking away at the form. There’s a lot to fill out on it and I already have a headache. Payton disappears into the house, and the door clicks shut behind her.
Ryder pushes off the wall and walks over. “Can we talk?”
“Sure,” I say, setting the laptop to the side. I lean over my legs, running a hand over my face. Everything aches and I haven’t really slept much. I didn’t think I would have insomnia this bad, but it’s really starting to catch up to me. Some nights I can sleep, other nights I'm wide awake.
He hesitates, looking toward the door before speaking. “You into Payt?”
I blink, shaking my head and asking, “What?”
“Don’t play dumb,” he says flatly. “You two have been hanging out a lot the past two weeks. I know you cooked with her, and you taught her how to drive. I dunno man, I feel like you’d be someone who is better for a girl like her.”
“You shitting me right now?” I laugh at the remark.
“No. It’s not like that. All of us have been through a lot.
I’ve been in fucking agony. I lost the girl of my dreams, my grandfather passed away, and every freaking second of the day I learn something new about that night at the concert that just breaks my heart open all over again.
” I cup my hands together and bring them to my lips.
“I’m not into Payton, I love someone else. ”
“My sister...” he says and looks away, jaw tightening.
There’s no point in dodging it. “Yeah,” I say simply.
“I did. I still do. I’m a fucking mess. She made me a mess, if she’s gone, I’ll still be a mess.
” Ryder’s eyes flicker to mine. “I’m not a football star like you or Brody,” I add.
“I don’t have a college dream. I’m just a guy who sings songs in a garage and got lucky enough to maybe make something of it.
Sometimes I binge watch anime and play videos.
I’m a walking red flag, and a girl like her doesn’t just come waltzing into my life like that. ”
“Maybe you don’t wanna hear it, but umm...” Ryder pauses, licking his lips, his eyes looking anywhere but me.
“What?”
“I mean you said, it hurts you to hear more things about that night.”
“What is it?” I ask.
“The night she disappeared...” Ryder takes a shaky breath, his hands fidget in his pockets. “I saw it. What Brody was doing to her.” He swallows hard, his voice cracking. “I beat the shit out of him and dragged her to my Jeep.”
My throat goes dry. I don’t say anything to him as his eyes are scanning the memories. “She was screaming,” he says, eyes glassy. “She was calling out for you. Over and over. Said she just wanted you.”
The air leaves my lungs. Ryder’s voice is barely audible when he adds, “Those were the last words I heard her say.” His chin trembles and his eyes gloss over as he sucks it back in with a heavy breath. “She just wanted you.”
Silence settles over us, thick and suffocating. Somewhere in the distance, a dog barks. Ryder sniffles and straightens himself out. The main door opens and Payton walks out. I watch him turn his face back to being stoic and emotionless.
“Are you ready to head out?” she asks Ryder, and he clears his throat nodding his head. I say my goodbyes, as his words stick inside my brain.
She was asking for me? I grasp the notebook I took from the dorm room flipping through the pages again looking at anything that might spark some sort of inspiration. A revenge song.
My heartbeat is hard to forget
My voice ringing in your ears
You’re drowning because he’s the stranger in my bed
You can’t cover it up now
The bruises you left
And you dealt the cards and put the gun to my head