29. Andrea
29
Andrea
I am practically giddy as I walk around the garden with my basket of flowers for Brielle. My best friend is engaged! I know she has never dreamed about this day but I have for her.
She never thought marriage was in the cards for her but I see the way she and Azra look at each other. This was always in the cards for her.
There is no way they were put on this earth for anyone else other than each other. Well, I guess Azra fell to earth but you know what I mean. I’m still getting used to all of this fallen angel shit.
I gasp at the patch of white roses that are about to bloom. I glance around and when I don’t see anyone, I close my eyes and hover my hands over the roses.
My hands and fingers begin to tingle. I open my eyes and watch as the petals blossom and open. A smile blossoms on my face just the same. I learned this little skill on my own from the hundreds of grimoires I read in the last month.
I can’t wait to tell Salem that I have been working on my magic outside of our sessions.
“I’m telling.” A deep voice catches me off guard from behind. I turn to see Ash leaning against a stone wall with vines and greenery snaking over it. A mischievous smile splits across his face.
His tattooed arms are crossed against his plain black t-shirt. His muscles look even bigger with his hands underneath each biceps. His shaggy black hair, perfectly disheveled, shines in the sunlight. His ears, nose, and eyebrow piercing glimmer with each move of his perfect sharp features.
“What are you talking about?” I squint my eyes at him and tilt my head. He kicks off the wall and approaches me. He stops when I have to crane my neck back to look into those eyes I could stare at for hours.
“I’m telling Celeste you’re tampering with her garden with your little sparkly fingers.” His brow flicks up along with the corner of his mouth.
“Who is the terrible gossip now?” I whisper, lifting onto my toes, our lips so close I can practically feel him on mine in anticipation.
He lowers his head until the softness of his lips presses into mine. His hands wrap around my back, one sliding down to grip my ass. He pulls away and a low growl comes from his throat.
“You wore this dress just to make me crawl again didn’t you?” He steps back and grabs my hand, spinning me in a slow circle in front of him. I sewed this beautiful floral milkmaid-style dress with fabric he had brought from France. I do have to admit, it is quite flattering.
He pulls me back in quickly. A squeal erupts from my mouth and I giggle as he holds me tightly against his hard body.
“I wouldn’t mind that sight again.” Wrapping my arms around his neck, I twirl a piece of his smooth hair between my fingers. He takes a deep breath and bites his lip.
“You’re ready for me now.” Before I have a chance to nod, his mouth clashes with mine, his tongue pushing through my lips eagerly. He blindly bunches up my dress while still frantically kissing me. His fingers pull my underwear to the side and slide through my soaked slit.
He swallows my small moan and I sink back into the bush behind me as my body erupts in goosebumps at his touch.
“Andrea!” A voice shouts from beside us. I push Ash away and turn. Zach runs and barrels into Ash. Zach falls back onto his ass whereas Ash hadn’t moved an inch from the impact. Zach quickly stands. “Keep your filthy fucking hands off her!” he shouts.
I hear more people approaching and my stomach turns into knots.
“Are you all right?” Zach pulls me to him, his hands resting on my biceps gently. His hazel eyes looking me over for any signs of injury.
“What’s going on?” Brielle comes into view, Azra and Celeste behind her. Her expression is pinched as she looks between me, Ash, and Zach. A lump grows in my throat as all of this unfolds in front of me.
“This fucking asshole was forcing himself on her!” Zach shouts pointing at Ash. The latter’s fists ball up at his sides. “She should have come home the moment he put his hands on her the first time.”
“Watch your mouth.” Ash’s deepened voice sends a frightening chill down my spine. His eyes illuminate.
“Let’s calm down here, I’m sure there is a logical explanation for all of this.” Brielle holds her hands out as caution. Ash’s jaw ripples and his nostrils flare, never taking his eyes off Zach. I’ve seen that murderous glare before.
Azra slips his hands into his pocket, his anger simmering beneath his normal mask of indifference. Celeste is wide-eyed beside him.
Brielle walks up to me, snarling at Ash before turning to face me.
“Is this true?” she asks quietly. Her eyes filled with worry that Ash may have hurt me again.
“Yes, it’s fucking true! I saw it with my own two eyes.” Zach crosses his arms. I don’t think I have ever seen him this livid before. Tears sting my eyes.
“Shut up, Zach!” Brielle shouts over her shoulder at him. She looks back and nods to me, encouraging me to tell her the truth. My vision becomes blurry with tears.
“He didn’t force me to do anything.” My words are just above a whisper. Brielle’s hands drop and she steps back from the realization. The puzzle pieces snap into place in her eyes. I avoid Zach’s stare as shock takes over his features.
“Is this where you’ve been lately? With him?” Her brows furrow, her face a look of dismay.
I nod. Celeste has been covering for me these past few weeks when Brielle would ask where I was or what I was doing. To be fair, most of the time I was at the shop Ash gifted me making things and occasionally doing other things.
Her lips part as the betrayal settles in and a small gasp escapes.
“I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you—” I step forward, but she holds her hand up and I stop. Brielle shakes her head.
“What were you going to talk to her about Zach?” She glances at him, her eyes slightly glowing. Zach places his hands on his waist as he stares at me with his tongue in cheek. He sighs and mutters a curse.
I look away to brace myself for his words.
“When you were taken,” He glances at Azra and swallows. “Andrea and I found… comfort in each other while searching for you.” Brielle’s jaw falls. “I was going to talk to her about what we were and how much I want us to be together but obviously I meant nothing to her.” Zach steps closer to me and my eyes finally snap to his. The pain in them is like two daggers in my heart. “What about New York? What about your dreams? Are they nonexistent now, too?” His voice softens with each question.
Each word strikes my heart with a painful blow. The silence is nearly unbearable as Brielle’s eyes brim with tears, putting out the fire that was building in them.
“I was taken almost a year ago. You two are just now fucking telling me this? And New York, Andrea? What have you told me lately?” She glares at Azra. “Did you know this?” She points at all three of us. A tear ran down her sun-kissed face.
“I—” Azra starts, but she huffs a fake laugh, cutting him off.
“Wow.” She mutters, her mouth still hanging open with shock. She looks back at me, pain evident in those brown eyes. “Just wow.” Her tone is defeated. She storms past all of us, Azra’s nostrils flare as he stares at Ash. Azra turns to follow Brielle. “Stay right where you fucking are.” She sharply turns to him, tears now staining her cheeks. When he doesn’t take another step, she returns to the trail back to the house. Azra’s face directed at Ash turns my stomach while Celeste rushes after Brielle.
“Ledge, now.” Azra’s voice is chillingly controlled. Ash’s eyes slide to mine before they both vanish.
I force myself to look at Zach, he just shakes his head. His hazel eyes shone with tears.
“You are heartless, Andrea.” He strains to keep his voice leveled. “Fucking heartless.” Zach walks away from me, his head low.
My mouth won’t move to protest for him to stay. No words can get past the phantom barbed wire wrapped around my body, stilling me.
I sink to the grass and pull my knees to my chest. I wrap my arms around them as my sobs rack my body. Everything I was scared of happening has happened. Everyone is mad at me and I want to crawl out of my skin again. Just like always.
How could I have been so careless?
It must be close to midnight. Ash hasn’t tried to come see me since everything happened today. Brielle is also avoiding me. Celeste is the only one I have seen since. She offered to bring me dinner to my room, but I declined. I have no appetite.
She also told me Torin brought Zach home after he stormed inside. I stayed in the garden until dusk. I’m not sure I have any tears left in my body.
I’m in the same place I’m always in when I can’t sleep, curled up on my bed and gazing out of the window.
A faint knock at my door slices through the hours of silence I have succumbed to. My legs have gone numb from how I was sitting against my headboard.
I only crack the door to see who it is. Ash peers up from where his eyes were on the ground and slips his hands into his pockets.
“Can I come in?”
I open the door wider and walk back to my bed. I drop onto it without saying anything to him. Grabbing my pillow, I hold it over my stomach like a security blanket.
Ash leans against my dresser, his wings tightening as his brows pinch, picking something up off the top of it. A kitchen knife glints in the moonlight.
I forgot to pick that damn thing up.
His teeth shine in the darkness of my room, “Resourceful.”
“To be fair, I didn’t know if you were going to attack me again. I had to defend myself somehow.”
“Touché.” He nods and shrugs his shoulders in agreement.
“Surprised to see you in one piece after your talk with Azra.” I hug the pillow tighter.
“He knows the situation is complicated. He is just pissy he got dragged into it.” Ash sighs and rubs his jaw. My next words come out like vomit.
“You know, there’s just one question that has been replaying in my mind since the events in the garden.” Our eyes lock and I push down the yearning for him. “Did you know Zach was here?” Ash tilts his head like he doesn’t understand so I clarify, “Did you know Torin was going to get Zach, and that’s why you came to find me in the garden?” I keep my voice surprisingly calm compared to every tense muscle in my body.
His throat bobs as he swallows.
“Andrea,” he starts. I stand up off the bed and throw my pillow.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Ash? Was this some way of marking your territory?” I stop my pacing when I am right in front of him. My body flushes hot and my nails dig into my palms.
“I knew how hard it is for you to tell him the truth, I figured if?—”
“If what? That you show him you own me he might leave me alone?” I get close enough to him that my breasts are nearly touching his torso. “You do not own me.” My voice deepens with seriousness. He only blinks at me. His face is hard and emotionless. “You know, you slip this mask over your real emotions and hide in the shadows to keep people from looking at you. I mean really looking at you because if they looked hard enough, they would find an empty lonely shell of a heart.”
My heart cracks with each word out of my mouth. Tears silently fall from my eyes, the only thing moving is the muscle feathering in his jaw. I wipe the tears from my face and back up.
“I’m leaving after the ball tomorrow night,” I mutter.
“What? You can’t.” He steps forward, a slight panic in his tone.
“I can and I am.” His baby blue eyes search my face but I am set on my decision. I have had all afternoon and evening to think about this choice. “Just leave.” I turn my head away from him. He doesn’t move.
“Andrea.”
“Go,” I whisper, my voice finally cracking as my chest shakes under my arms.
This time he listens. He shuts the door quietly behind him without another word. I fall back onto my bed and cover my mouth to stifle my cries.
My heart isn’t only broken into a million pieces but it aches. It aches like never before. I can’t stay here and make rational decisions. Ash numbs everything and I can’t even think straight when he is near. I have to deal with the consequences of my actions without any interference.
The only reason I haven’t gone home yet is because of Brielle’s birthday tomorrow. I wouldn’t miss it even with how mad she is at me.
All of this time that I was preparing myself to tell her about Caroline and Ash means nothing now. The words are too painful to utter when it doesn’t matter who I was in a past life because this life is what's important. I’ve hurt people and I need to fix it and I don’t want Caroline to be used as an excuse. Even if that means I have to carry the burden of this secret alone.
I don’t know if I will ever return here or if the pain will be too great.