CHAPTER FIFTEEN
MY PULSE EMbrACES A FRENZY of its own, anxious steps and a thundering beat, and all I can do is look at Dionysus as my every falsehood is stripped away. Caught out and seen at last – and, potentially, facing the ire of a god for keeping all this from him.
‘You have my sympathies,’ he says – though it’s wryness rather than sympathy lacing the words. ‘If I only lasted two weeks before my secret identity were revealed, I’d be devastated.’
‘How long have you known?’
‘I’ve suspected since you reminded me of Helios’s lineage within the Cretan royal family.
’ He taps Sterope and the creature stalks forward, closing in on me while he leans against a wooden post. ‘You don’t tan or burn, you rise with the dawn and when you’re angry I could have sworn your eyes flare, a hint of fire and a promise to lay waste to all in your path. ’
I straighten, refusing to give in to his intimidation, even as the panther pushes its head into my knee like it would herd me backwards.
Trapped by Sterope, Dionysus starts forward too until he is before me.
‘But I haven’t known until, well …’ He reaches towards me, thumb brushing over the groove in my shoulder.
Every part of me tenses beneath his touch but I don’t move away.
Healed, the skin there is rough and scarred, and I can barely feel the press of his thumb against it.
But I know the weight of his hand, the tender caress, and I shiver all the more for the ghost of his touch.
‘An arrow,’ he says softly. ‘That must have hurt.’
‘Not as much as cauterizing it did.’
He looks at me sharply, outrage flashing its own sun in his eyes. His hand falls to his side.
‘So,’ I ask. ‘What now?’
‘I think perhaps you should tell me what really happened. The truth at last. And you should probably pet Sterope or she’s going to bowl you over.’
I glance down at the panther, now rubbing her face against my shin. I reach for her, the soft fur beneath my hand, and she gives a rumbling purr.
‘She’s sensitive to emotional distress,’ he adds, crossing to the table to pour out two cups of wine.
‘So she’ll be insisting on affection until you feel better.
Though say the word and I can fetch one of your friends instead.
’ He pushes a cup towards me. ‘I told you, if you’re running from something, you’re safe here.
And unlike some of these demigod upstarts, I take my word seriously. ’
I eye the cup – seeing it for what it is. An offer of hospitality. And, if taken, an expectation I’ll tell him the truth.
I hesitate.
‘Ariadne, do I need to get the pine cone staff of sharing?’
‘Take this seriously,’ I snap. ‘The last time I trusted someone, I ended up here.’
‘There we are: if you’re annoyed with me, I know you’re going to be alright.’
‘I’ll be annoyed with you even when they recite my funerary rites.’
But it must work, because I sit and take the cup.
Sterope repositions herself by my side, and every time I stop petting her she pushes her head against my hand like she might do it herself.
‘So,’ Dionysus says. ‘What happened?’
I tell him everything – from that first sacrifice to my anticipation of the last. The need to make it all stop.
And I tell him about Theseus – the way he swanned into the palace like he’d already bested the beast, and the murky deal we’d agreed on in the hollows of the palace.
The way he’d used me as a shield, but hadn’t abandoned me, not yet, not until he’d solidified my tale.
‘I think he left me when I was shot in the hope I’d bleed out,’ I say.
‘When I survived, it created quite a conundrum for him. I was under his hospitality. I’d saved his life.
But once I’d ruined myself? Well, then he was within his rights to leave me behind.
’ I don’t quite manage the words without hurt.
My flippancy doesn’t stop them lodging in my throat like they would choke me, and I race on.
‘Anyway, that’s not important now. I’m sorry for wasting your time. ’
I stand but Dionysus does too, and as I step to move past him, he clasps my wrist.
‘You’re not wasting my time, Ariadne. You are what time is for. Of all the islands for you to be left on? The mark of the Fates is here somewhere. So let’s discuss it. I might be able to help.’
By now, the revelry outside has quieted and it feels like we might be the only two people awake in the entire world. Even Sterope snoozes by my feet.
‘I can’t let him marry my sister. He left me here to die – what if he does worse to her?’
‘The same sister who betrayed you?’
‘Yes,’ I say softly, because I could say if she hadn’t and Father found out that she knew, he’d have killed her or it was in her best interest, and we grew up in a palace where all you could do was survive or simply she is my father’s daughter but none of it would encapsulate the web of sacrifice and obligation and mutual suffering and the same stories filling our heads and once, just once, her fingers skimming along an aulos and me dancing to her beat.
There are so many words for love, so many kinds, and yet not one for this twisted thing – a love like you are mine to protect and mine to hurt and I understand the worst of you and I love the possibility of you, that one day we might be more than this.
The sort of love that means no matter who she is or what she did, I cannot let Theseus anywhere near her.
I do not truly care that she betrayed me or that I was shot, because I would take an arrow for her every time.
‘Alright,’ he says – not needing any of that because apparently my yes is enough. ‘We’ll do what we can.’
‘Which is?’
He only glances to his cup.
I take a breath. ‘Could you take me back to Crete? My father will never let Theseus marry Phaedra if he knows what he did to me. You could even host a revelry there – the people of Crete could certainly do with some fun.’
‘Your father will execute you for treason.’
I swirl the wine in my own cup, watching the dark liquid sway.
‘Not an option, new girl,’ Dionysus scolds. ‘You didn’t come up with all those contingencies to give up your life for anything.’
Which is true. And my father would only take the city to war instead.
And Theseus would run, or fight, and spread his tales anyway.
If I give my life up, it won’t be to strike a mere blow but for his entire, irrevocable destruction.
I lean my head on the table, churning through options again and again.
‘We could go elsewhere,’ Dionysus proposes. ‘Spread the news that you live and of what Theseus did to you.’
I wince – not only at what that would mean but that I even have to explain it.
‘The abridged version, thank you. Most people would believe my abandonment was deserved for giving up my virtue.’
‘Most people are idiots.’
‘That’s precisely the issue – we don’t need them turning Theseus into their righteous hero. He had sex out of wedlock too, but I don’t see anyone insisting he be abandoned on an island.’
‘Trust me, if I had my way that’s exactly what would happen to him. But you’re right – all this is only going to make him more popular with a certain sub-sect of fools, amongst whom many Olympians are included.’
I sigh. ‘And, I imagine, it would be both Crete and Athens putting a bounty on my head if I went telling tales on far-off shores.’
We migrate to the floor sometime around midnight, both of us lying against huge stacks of pillows, staring at the ceiling like it might give us the answers. Sterope lies between us, having finally tired of demanding our affections.
‘I want to go to Crete,’ I say slowly, like listing it all might help.
‘But I’d be executed. I’d be killed no matter what I did, really, so I need protection.
I could seek out Heracles, maybe? If I got another hero involved, some might side with me.
It’s as you said – they’ll all turn on each other eventually.
If we make Theseus the villain, someone else may be inclined to take a shot at him instead of the next monster sent from the Heavens. ’
‘Well, I’d prefer you didn’t, given that would just bolster their attempts to take my place on Olympus.
’ Dionysus throws a pine cone above his face.
He has been fidgeting with it the entire time we’ve been lying here.
‘Though we can certainly consider it a possibility. Frankly, if they help, maybe they deserve my place on Olympus.’
‘I don’t want you losing your immortality, though. We aren’t trading your life for mine.’
‘That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.’
‘Consider it my parting gift.’
‘Whatever you do, we’re not leaving your side.
We have numbers. And I am a god. They might be trying to usurp me with whispers but they still wouldn’t dare cross me so blatantly.
True, Poseidon might eradicate me if I really did turn Theseus into a dolphin, but that doesn’t mean I can’t threaten it. ’
He tosses that pine cone too far, has to reach wide to catch it and instead it skitters off to take out a row of stacked cups.
‘Oh yes, quite threatening,’ I deadpan.
‘My powers – and, admittedly, my aim – might be somewhat unreliable but they don’t know that.
And I definitely have enough energy for some dolphinification.
Obscurity might threaten me but Theseus and your father certainly don’t.
Really all I’m lacking is their ability to weave themselves into myth and legend.
If I had that, I’d have nothing to worry about. ’
‘Well, if they tell this story accurately, you’ll be the hero who rescued me when Theseus abandoned me. You’d only be more heroic if you married me yourself.’
There is a beat as we consider all that, then both of us are scrambling to our feet.
‘No,’ I say quickly. ‘You can’t possibly be suggesting that.’
‘Me?’ Dionysus launches himself backwards like he needs as much space from me as possible. ‘I’m not suggesting anything. You’re suggesting something! An abhorrent something!’
‘Oh, charming.’
‘I’m the freewheeling god of revelry and fun, darling, marriage doesn’t really chime with the aesthetic.’
‘No one asked you to get married, darling.’
‘Well, good. I always imagined there’d be more ceremony to it.’ His always exuberant hand gestures have reached such excess that if he hadn’t already taken out the cups, I’d be concerned. ‘Candles, for example. Dried flowers. A fevered declaration of love. Someone I’ve known longer than two weeks!’
‘Well, I knew the last man who proposed for a handful of hours, so admittedly this is an improvement.’
‘It is not an improvement on anything because this is not a proposal! Do you see a proposal? Do you see me on one knee, Ariadne?’
‘Difficult to tell – it’s so similar to your usual height.’
‘You will not give me a complex.’
‘You hardly have capacity for another,’ I agree.
We’re both breathing hard, having finally burned ourselves out. Without the quips to hide behind, the logical path of it is difficult to ignore.
Well, difficult for me to ignore – I’m sure Dionysus is managing perfectly well.
‘You need to win in the world of rumour and tales. Marrying me would tie you to the Minotaur myth. You’d snatch the notoriety right out of Theseus’s hands. He abandons women on islands. You save them.’
‘And not just any woman – the princess who saved the Athenians. Who ended her father’s reign of terror.’ Dionysus’s eyes flutter shut, like he can’t bear to face the truth of it. ‘It’s a good story. A very good story. The sort that could bolster my powers considerably.’
‘If anyone would dare threaten the life of a god’s wife, it would be my father. But it’s as much protection as I could hope for.’
‘I’d need provocation,’ Dionysus says. ‘But I can protect you if he threatens you. I’m not lying about having enough power for that. Theseus too – one wrong move and they’ll be squeaking little dolphins.’
‘Olympus above, pick a new animal.’
‘New fish,’ he corrects – incorrectly!
I reach a trembling hand for my wine, wincing. ‘Please stop. If I’m to consider this, I need you to be less irksome.’
‘You to consider? It’s me who’s having to think this blatant entrapment through.’
‘You’re an immortal god – wait my life out.’
‘Immortal for now,’ he sighs, shaking his head. ‘Though this could cement me far more than any of my other exploits have thus far managed to.’
‘I am not an exploit!’ I protest, putting my cup down before I can once again be tempted to fling its contents over him.
‘No, you’re a story and I’m your bodyguard.’
‘You’re my revenge, actually. Theseus will be furious. I married the very being he thought abandoning me would allow him to become. I’ve robbed his precious tale from him.’
Dionysus calms a little. ‘Alright, if you’re seeing this as a ruse too, I suppose I can consider it.’
‘What, you really thought I wanted this? You’re a means to an end.’
He nods. ‘Likewise.’
‘Fine.’
‘Fine!’
The agreement happens without thought – and Dionysus looks as startled to have made one as I am. He blinks as though dazed – but, as he has said numerous times, he’s a god of his word.
‘Oh Fates,’ he says, with dawning horror. ‘We’re getting married.’
I’m tying my life to his – those threats he’s facing would become mine. But that’s nowhere near as terrifying as a lifetime beside Dionysus.
‘Yes,’ I say despondently. ‘Apparently we are.’