Chapter 64 – Mabel
Chapter Sixty-Four
MABEL
There was no way this stress was good for the baby. Every muscle in my body was telling me to press a hand against my soft stomach, telling me that that small movement would somehow keep my little stinger in my womb to grow.
Internally, I scoffed at myself.
There were a lot more important things that needed my attention at this very moment.
Paul huffs angrily before stomping to Mama, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I’m sorry for swearing.” He looks like a kicked puppy and a feral dog at the same time.
“Sit down, we need to have a conversation.” Mama doesn’t accept his apology, just gestures for him to sit in one of the chairs scattered around the room.
“PJ, I need you to tell me how you think Jude ruined your life.” Mama’s voice is calm, she takes a seat next to Paul and grabs his hand. Jude and I return to our couch, earning a glare from my baby brother.
“Do I have to?” Paul grumbles, his attention returns to Mama with a pleading look pulling at his features.
“Please, baby, let’s try and fix this.” Mama grabs one of his hands with both of hers.
“Paul, please.” My plea comes out in a whisper, it seems like Mama was getting through to him but any openness she had managed shut down almost instantly.
“Why now? I told you years ago that it wasn’t something I wanted to talk about! And now, after everything you think you love him.” Paul’s lip pulls back in a sneer. “You have no idea what love is.”
His words are like a slap.
My eyes water with tears, realizing that I was being selfish in falling for Jude. A small flame of anger flicks in my stomach, though, at Paul’s insinuation I don’t know what love is. Like I’d go through all of this for anything less than complete, overwhelming, take your breath away love.
“Listen, Paul. I don’t know what I did but you don’t get to point any of your anger at me towards your sister.” Jude’s voice makes me jump, it’s so gruff.
“Shoving yourself into the conversation just like you did back then.” Paul sneers and pulls his hand away from Mama, his fist clenching so hard his knuckles are white.
I can tell Jude is getting frustrated with Paul’s evasiveness.
He’s so clearly angry but still not sharing any real information on why he’s so upset.
I’m getting frustrated, too, but my heart is breaking.
“Look dude, I’ve talked to you maybe three times before I started this new position. So, you can drop your fucking attitude or tell me what the hell it is that you think I did to you.” Jude’s eyes leave Paul for a moment, flicking over to Mama, “Apologies for the language, Mama D.”
“You’re forgiven this time, Judey.”
“UGH! Fine! You all really want to know what he did? If it wasn’t for this asshole and his shitty best friend I’d never have lost Anika!”
What the fuck?
“Lost Anika? What do you mean?” I’m so confused and based on the looks on Jude and Mama’s face, they are equally as lost.
“PJ, that doesn’t make any sense. Baby, what do you mean?”
Paul pulls at the strands of his hair. “Back before Anika got pregnant, probably the fucking night she got pregnant. This asshole and Mason,” he spits the name like it’s poison, “show up at my house! His stupid friend thinks he could just kiss me? Right in front of Anika! She left me, never would have spoken with me again if she hadn’t gotten pregnant.
She told me I broke her heart, making her think I could move on so quickly from being intimate with her. As if I ever could.”
Paul’s voice cracks, I can hear the emotion and it breaks my heart. He’s panting, heaving breaths like he can’t fill his lungs. Unbidden, my hand drifts to press against my stomach. Moments later, Jude hand rests just above mine.
Thankfully, Paul is too overwhelmed to notice but Mama’s eyes catch the movement. Her lips part in surprise but she doesn’t say anything. “Paul, baby, are you serious? You can’t blame Jude for that!”
It’s Paul’s turn to look like he’s been slapped.
“If it wasn’t for him bringing Mason, it never would have happened! Of course I can blam—”
Mama swipes her hand through the air to cut him off.
“I told Jude to go to your place that night and to take Mason.” Mama’s confession drops like a bomb.
“So, if you’re going to blame anyone for that ludicrous idea, you’re going to have to blame me.
” Mama’s voice is steel. Paul crumbles, like a puppet whose strings have been cut.
“What?” Tears stream from Paul’s eyes, disappearing into his mustache. He does nothing to wipe them away, staring at Mama with utter disbelief.
“Jude was having a hard time. I sent him to your place because I knew you were having a get-together. I told him to take Mason because they’re friends. Anything that may have happened that night is my fault, if you’re going to think like that.”
Jude clears his throat. “I had no idea Mason did that. I left almost as soon as I arrived. I should have made Mason come with me.”
“No.” All eyes whip to me. I’m just as surprised as them that I spoke.
“Henry’s almost four. You’ve had years to try and fix things with Anika.
If the only problem between the two of you was catching you kissing someone else, it would have been resolved a long time ago.
It’s not fair to put the problems between the two of you on anyone but yourself . ”
“I can’t do this.” Paul throws his hands up in defeat, backing away from the three of us. He turns and all but runs out of the house. The door slams with his departure.
After a beat, Mama turns her attention to Jude and I. Still sitting on the couch with our hands still cradling my soft stomach. “I think you two have something to share?”