Chapter 63 – Jude
Chapter Sixty-Three
JUDE
This is really happening. Mabel’s hand is shaking in mine as we walk to the Big House. I offered to grab my truck and drive us over to the Big House but Mabel thought the fresh air would be nice. There’s a slight chill to the air and I wished I’d have insisted she grab a jacket for our walk.
Mabel’s trembling gets worse the closer we get to the house. I can’t stand seeing how nervous she is. I stop in my tracks, pulling her against my chest. “I love you, Mabel. We are going to get through this and I promise I’m going to fix whatever it is that I did to Paul.”
“You don’t know if it can be fixed.”
“Yes, I do. Paul loves his family and once he understands how much I love you, we’ll work out a solution.”
“I love you, too.” I don’t miss the fact that she’s not accepting the fact that I’m going to fix this but I can’t stop a smile from forming at her admission of love. I’m never not going to smile when she tells me she loves me.
“Okay, gimme a kiss before we head inside. I might be too nervous to kiss you in front of my mom.” That pulls a laugh out of me, Mabel joins me with a smaller chuckle, but I’m quick to press my mouth against hers.
“Mama! Hurry, Elle was telling the truth!” Patrick’s voice is full of awe. I don’t want to pull away from Mabel but she takes the decision away from me. “Patrick, I can’t believe you screamed that, I was right here.”
Mama D playfully smacks Patrick on the chest, she’s smiling so hard I might worry she’s going to pull a muscle. “Well, come on. You two have a lot to fill me in on before your brother gets here.”
The reminder of why we’re all here is quick to sober Mabel.
She grabs my hand before walking into the house, a small reassurance that we are in this together.
The conversation isn’t as painful as I had been anticipating. Mabel, thankfully, censors the more explicit parts of how we got to where we are now. She doesn’t bring up the pregnancy, simply stating we reconnected at the wedding and have been trying to figure things out since then.
By the time we get to the end of it all, Mama D’s smile has been replaced with a pensive look. She doesn’t say anything at first, all of us sitting in an awkward silence. When she finally decided to speak, her eyes met mine and the look on her face was one I’d never seen before.
Never pointed at me.
“Judey, you know I love you, but before I start helping you open old wounds and bringing things up that can’t be put back, I need to ask you something and I need you to be straight with me. No bullshit.”
“No bullshit.” I offer a nod, letting her know that I’m ready for whatever question she’s about to hit me with.
“I know you’ve had feelings for my daughter for a long time. An infatuation but do you love her? Do you love Mabel?”
I can’t say I’m surprised by the question. It stings a little to think how I feel about Mabel would be questioned by the one paternal figure I have in my life, someone I respect more than anyone else in the world.
“I have been infatuated with Mabel for a long time.” I swallow, knowing getting this right is paramount. Mabel’s cool hand wraps around my bigger one, she gives me one quick squeeze before moving her hand to my thigh.
Turning to look into Mabel’s sparkling eyes, I answer Mama D.
“I was infatuated with the idea of Mabel for a long time. She’s nothing like I imagined, she’s so much more complicated.
Yes, I was interested in Mabel when I was younger.
That Mabel was just a dream, though. The reality of getting the chance to love Mabel, it’s better than anything I could have imagined.
As long as she’ll have me, she is my present and my future. Loving her is easier than breathing.”
My sweet girl’s eyes are watery as I talk, I can’t let her cry over this. I lift my hand, cradling her cheek in my hand, rubbing my thumb under her eyes to catch any tears that might slip free.
“I love you, too.” Mabel tilts her face and presses a kiss against the palm of my hand.
There’s a small gasp from the others that alerts us to the storm about to hit us. My gaze flicks to Mabel’s family and I find wide eyes flicking between me and Mabel and directly behind us.
Paul’s voice is like an unexpected thunderstorm.
“You fucking what?”
My poor Mabel, any tension I had been able to remove from her body has comeback tenfold as she looks at her brother. Paul’s face is almost purple in anger, his gaze flicking between all of us before focusing on my hand still on Mabel’s cheek.
“Get your hands off my fucking sister.”
“Paul, you will not use that type of language in my house!” Mama D rose from her seat across from Mabel and I, resting a hand on my shoulder. “This is not how we wanted to start this.” Disappointment was clear in her voice.
Was it a disappointment for us? Or because of us?
Could she already see that nothing we said was going to cure Paul of his hatred towards me.
“Start what?” Paul all but growled, he had taken on a defensive position with his arms crossed and feet spread shoulder width apart.
Did he think we were going to attack him?
I guess in a way, we were.
Mabel’s cold hand wrapped around my wrist, pulling my hand away from her before standing. My poor girl was shaking as she stood to face her brother. “Paul, I need you to calm down so we can talk.”
“Calm down!? How in the world can I calm down when I just heard my big sister say she loves the person who ruined my fucking life?”
Elle scoffed at Paul’s explosion, muttering, “Language.” Patrick slaps a hand over his mouth at his wife’s words
“How did Jude ruin your life, PJ?” The question comes from Lola and I send a silent thanks to my boss and friend, her tone is so calm in this situation.
“Why do I have to explain myself ? You are my family, it shouldn’t matter why!” Paul’s volume increases with each word.
Alright, this was getting out of hand. I stand up, lacing my fingers through Mabel’s trying to offer some support. Of course, Paul catches the movement.
“Paul, I genuinely don’t know how I could have ruined your life.”
“Oh, shut up! You don’t know what you did? How could you, you selfish motherfu—”
“Enough!” Mama D’s voice silences all of us. “Everyone is going to sit down, take three deep breaths and we are going to have a civil conversation.”
Mama D’s word is law on the Farm, and no matter how much one of her kids might disagree, they do as Mama says.
“Elle, Lola, Patrick. I love all of you but I think this conversation is going to go much smoother without an audience.” I can see the protests on their faces but none of them fight her on this. They file out of the house in a line, the door shutting behind them with a foreboding click.
It was just the four of us now and we were going to lay it all on the table.