Chapter 2
As a child, being a cop was all I wanted to do. My father was a child psychologist, and my mother was a doula. They both volunteered and taught my brother, Asad, my sister, Amani, and me to give back and support others.
I always wanted to make a difference and make the world a better place.
I could think of no career that could have a greater impact and achieve that goal than becoming a police officer.
I had gone to college and pursued a bachelor of science in criminal justice degree, and then I had gone on to the police academy.
Although I had graduated from a four-year-college, graduating from the police academy was the moment I was most proud of. My parents supported us in whatever endeavors we chose, and I was thankful to God for them supporting me the way they had.
But there were days when I questioned if I had gone the right route. I wondered if I should have chosen another career instead and asked myself if I were truly making a difference. Tonight was one of those nights.
“Damn. Tonight was a rough one, wasn’t it?”
My partner, Lena Ward, nodded but kept staring out the window. “We’re here, Lena. You good?”
I patted her shoulder as I switched off the ignition. She sighed and turned her gaze to me. “I’m sorry. My mind is somewhere else.”
“How about we get in here and call an end to this day?” I tapped her on the shoulder and climbed out of the car.
She sighed and got out too as we headed into the precinct. “I’ll sign the car back in. Go ahead and shower,” she stated, holding her hands up in the air to catch the keys.
I tossed them her way and headed to the locker room to change out of my uniform and shower.
“What’s good, Fullwood?” Micah Simmons, a fellow brother in blue asked.
“Can’t call it. Ready to get out of here tonight to get a peace of mind.” I removed my gun before tackling my tactical gear.
Laughing, Micah asked, “Or are you about to slide into a piece?”
His partner, Carson Jennings, came up behind us and dapped Micah up. “That’s more like what will happen,” Carson teased.
I rolled my eyes. “I’m just going home to relax and breathe. Give thanks to God for making it through another shift and having a life that’s worth living.”
“Another tough one?” Carson asked, easing up.
“Yeah, man. The kids are always the tough ones.”
“Did they make it?”
“Yeah. It ain’t always the physical scars and physical abuse that’s traumatizing though. Sometimes the mental abuse and trauma can be just as bad, if not worse than the physical.”
“You ain’t never lied, my guy.” Carson agreed.
When I finished undressing, I headed into the shower.
The pelting sting of the hot water wasn’t enough to erase the pain and the trauma that I saw tonight.
No matter how hard I scrubbed my body and no matter how much I tried to think positive thoughts, the only thing that I could see was that woman lying on the gurney being carried out of her house.
When I left the shower and dressed, I headed out of the locker room, jumped into my GMC Canyon, and drove to the other side of town. When I stepped into the motel room and closed the door behind me, I leaned my back against the door in relief.
I immediately removed my hoodie and smiled.
“You good, baby?” I asked.
She nodded and climbed off the bed. I admired her beautiful nude body as she made her way to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. Her warm breath caressed my neck as she pressed her nose into the side of it.
Callused fingers pulled my T-shirt up my back and slowly touched every muscle on my back and chest. Full, pouty lips replaced callused fingers as they kissed my skin, until my T-shirt was on the floor.
Within seconds, my joggers were pulled down around my ankles, my dick was freed from my underwear, and it was sliding down her hot throat.
“Fuck!” My hips rocked forward, searching for more.
The low hum that buzzed in the rear of her throat vibrated around my shaft, increasing the feeling of pleasure I received. Within minutes, I was on the verge of releasing, but I wasn’t quite ready.
I pulled out of her mouth and lowered to my knees, and she stood. I spread her legs and positioned myself between them, cupping her mound with my hand as I worked her over. Our eyes locked, and not once did she look away while I fingered her.
Unable to take much more, she gripped my head and pulled me forward, until my nose bumped into her mound.
I pulled back just a little and covered her with my mouth, slowly letting my tongue slide in and out of her.
Her hums were soft caresses to my soul. I sucked at her clit until she mewled and gyrated her pussy against my mouth.
I slurped and sucked, enjoying the pleasure as much as she enjoyed being pleasured.
When she screamed my name and pierced the skin on my shoulders, I knew she was done.
I used my tongue to clean her up before I lifted her.
She locked her arms around my neck and settled down on my uncovered dick, letting me spread and stretch her until I fit comfortably inside of her tight walls.
Her nails raked across my back, and her teeth sank into the skin of my shoulders. She alternated between licking and biting me, but I didn’t care. My hands were full with soft, plump ass cheeks that I enjoyed spreading wider each time I lifted her.
Pleasure ripped through me every time she sank down my length and squeezed her wet flesh around me. We rocked up into each other, hard and fast, until we were almost out of breath. I carried her to the bed where I laid her, refusing to break our connection.
Her legs cradled me as they wrapped around my back. Up on my knees with my hands planted on either side of her head, I rutted inside of her, welcoming the feel of her heat.
Tears drenched her face, and I knew that it was a result of the bottled emotions inside of her.
“Baby, why are you crying? You know I feel helpless when you do that.”
She reached up and gripped the sides of my face and lifted her head.
Lowering my own head to release the strain on her neck, I covered her mouth with mine.
She was even aggressive with her kissing tonight, something she knew I didn’t care for.
But I let her have it, if it would make her feel better and give her an outlet to express whatever she was trying to internalize.
I wrapped a hand around her neck, thrusting inside of her with brute force. She loved when I took her without reserve or hesitation. As I suspected it would, it caused her to cum within minutes.
She needed this. I needed this. But I also needed to talk. I had to hear what was on her mind and heart, and sex wasn’t always the answer, no matter what she thought, and no matter how well matched we were in bed.
I emptied into her a couple of minutes after her release. But I didn’t immediately fall back after I did. I remained in place over her, kissing her forehead, eyes, nose, and lips before I finally collapsed onto my back and pulled her with me.
“Thank you, Deuce.”
I kissed her shoulder and temple before I laid my head on the pillow again. “You never have to thank me for taking care of you.”
She was quiet for so long that I wondered if she had fallen asleep, until I felt the tears on my arm.
“Please tell me why you’re crying, Lena.”
“I can’t continue to do this. It’s breaking me, Deuce.”
“I know, baby. But it’s because of us that people’s bad circumstances aren’t worse than what they are. Things could have been very different tonight if we hadn’t been across the street on another call when we heard her scream.”
Three children were taken from their home and placed into foster care because their mother was rushed to the hospital, barely clinging to life.
The children’s stepfather had beaten her so badly that her features were barely recognizable.
We were on a call about a noise nuisance when we heard the woman screaming, and one of the kids had run out of the house screaming, “Somebody help my mama! Help my mama!”
We immediately ran out of the yard we had been in and headed across the street and one house over.
While Lena corralled the children, I had taken the stepfather down and handcuffed him.
Another car had already been called for the same issue, thanks to the next-door neighbors who had heard the arguing long before we heard anything.
The neighbors claimed it was a recurring situation, and when I checked, I realized that officers were called to the home at least every other month.
The other car that responded had taken the stepdad to jail. Lena had wanted to remain there with the kids until children’s services could arrive to take custody of them, so I released the man into the other officers’ custody.
“Lena, baby. I know these situations are difficult, but I swear that I can’t fathom why it’s affecting you this way tonight. It’s not the first time we’ve been on one of these calls. Why are you taking this night harder than others when we have seen so much worse?”
Lena rolled over in my arms and stared into my eyes. We had graduated from the academy together and had been partners for three years; we were very close. I was usually pretty good at reading her, but tonight, she was a closed book.
I didn’t know what was on her mind, and as well as I knew her, I couldn’t have been prepared for what she was about to say. When she stared into my eyes, she confessed, “I’m pregnant, Deuce—and the baby is yours.”
Shock rolled through my system as I propped up on one arm and stared down at her. “Are you serious?”
“You know me. I would never lie about something like this.”
“You have to divorce Paul. You know this, right? You cannot keep putting off the inevitable. Separation isn’t enough, because he’s been pressuring you to go to counseling.
If you don’t leave him now and eventually return home, it won’t be good.
Even if we didn’t work out, I refuse to allow you to return to that nigga with my baby in your belly.
You’ve given me every excuse for letting you handle him.
I can’t take that chance with my kid, Lena.
Me and old boy ’bout to have some words. ”
“No. I’m divorcing him. I’d actually been planning to have him served this week.
I know that I hadn’t told you yet, but I wanted to make sure that what I was doing wasn’t because of the baby.
But Paul just left for a business trip this morning, and he’ll be back next week.
I’ll invite him over and tell him then. I would prefer to do it in person rather than just cutting him off with no contact. ”
“He deserves that shit.”
“I know, but still.”
“I want to be there.”
“No. I need to do this on my own. There’s no reason to humiliate him, Deuce.”
“I don’t give a shit. I’m simply protecting you, love.”
“Just let me do this. If there’s an issue, I’ll call you. I promise.”
Lena was the only woman I ever loved. It wasn’t supposed to happen that way. We had been having an affair and hiding it for six months. She and Paul had been married for a little over a decade, but things had broken down a year ago.
She was in an abusive marriage, and she had threatened to leave on several occasions. When he started calling her bluff and no longer responding to her threats, she had finally gathered the courage to leave him a year ago.
The last year, he had been pressuring her to return home, but she had staunchly refused.
One night when we were sitting around having dinner at a local pub with some of the other officers, I noticed that she had a bruise around her temple when she pushed her hair back briefly.
That was the first time that I had learned about the abuse.
He had visited her at the house she was staying in and tried to force her back home. I didn’t call attention to the bruise in front of the others, but waited until we left the pub.
We were not only partners but good friends, so she confided in me, knowing that she could trust me with her secret. She cried on my shoulder as I held her and assured her that being in an abusive marriage did not make her weak, unintelligent, or less of a good cop because of it.
When I finished talking to and comforting her, she had kissed me.
I had been fighting my feelings for some time at that point, and I was unable to do it any longer.
After that, we discussed requesting new partners, but we both knew we didn’t want that.
There was no one we trusted to have our backs more than each other.
Alternatively, we couldn’t let our relationship leak. Aside from her being married, despite being estranged from her husband, it was against department policy for us to be involved. It put too much at risk from compromising our judgment in an investigation to compromising her career.
Despite the fact that I was just as wrong, they would treat her much harsher than me, and she would pay the penalty, simply because she was a woman.
But I knew that sneaking around with this baby she was carrying was going to become impossible.
It would become even more difficult after the birth, because I refused to stand down.
“Lena, I don’t trust you alone with him, baby.”
“I know, but it’s been a while. I’m not worried about anything. Besides, I have good neighbors who look out, and I’ll have my gun. My apartment is right over the coffee shop. I doubt he’ll try anything during the daytime. I’ll just get him to sign the papers and be done with it.”
I knew that she was strong enough to handle it, but it didn’t sit well with me, no matter what she said. Unfortunately, I would have to trust her the same way that I wanted her to trust me.