Chapter 22 Sevyn
Last night had been difficult for Deuce, and it took a lot of patience for me to be supportive of what he needed. It would have been easy, as a woman, to get in my feelings about him grieving another woman. But I refused to allow that kind of energy into my heart.
No matter what he felt about the woman, she was in his past. Besides, it wasn’t like she was someone I had to compete with.
But the way that he behaved when it came to her raised plenty of questions in my mind.
Not the least of which was, “Was his partner, Lena Ward, the same woman he had loved and lost at some point?” If so, why did he hide that from me?
There was so much that Deuce shared with me.
But at times, I felt that he gave me all of him and other times, it felt like he withheld parts of himself.
I wasn’t sure if that was something that I could handle or not.
Maybe some things were okay, but if he was withholding any part of his heart, I could not deal with that.
I had freely given him all of me, and though I still grieved my husband’s death, I had honestly let go of Ethan.
I had fought too long to share the heart of a man with another woman.
I wasn’t about to go down that road again.
When I thought about the fact that I would never fully have Ethan to myself as long as his mother had a say in his life, and she did, because he lived to please her and his father, then I was able to let go.
Yes, I missed him. Yes, I mourned his death. Yes, I hated that I didn’t even get to say goodbye, but I was still alive, and I was determined to live my life. It was horrible that he had to die for both of us to be free. That wasn’t something that I wished for him, but the reality was, he was gone.
Deuce would have to come to the same realization about his partner. Or maybe she was more than that. We had fallen asleep in the fort last night, but somewhere in the middle of the night, he had picked me up and taken me to his bed.
I stretched and yawned and snuggled closer to him. He rubbed his hand up and down my back. I could tell that he was mostly still asleep based on the way his mouth hung partly open and the morning wood that tented his underwear.
I reached down and cupped it slowly but lovingly stroking my man’s erection. A smile danced across my lips when I thought about that. Ours was not a traditional relationship. We had not met out on the streets and started dating each other.
He had been at the scene of my accident, and he had remained by my side throughout my time in the hospital.
A smile curved my lips as I thought about how romantic that was.
We had never truly discussed that. I wasn’t sure if he was the first one on the scene or just another responding officer, but I was grateful that he had been there.
I slipped under the covers and positioned myself between his legs. He shifted slightly and muttered something in his sleep. I reached inside the little pocket of his boxer briefs and tugged his penis free.
Thick, heavy, and long, he was ready for what I wanted to give him. I slid my tongue over the slit in the head of his dick. He moaned and muttered something under his breath. Smirking, I did it again before reaching up and cupping his balls.
I massaged them through the satiny material of his underwear, and Deuce groaned and shifted again. His knee almost caught me in the side of my head, but I moved to the side just in time. I loved him, and there wasn’t anything that I wouldn’t do to bring him happiness.
My love and affection for him had nothing to do with the loyalty and devotion he had shown me while I was in the coma.
It formed after the coma, as I got to know him as a man.
I saw the beauty in his relationship with his family, friends, and some of his fellow officers.
I saw his passion in giving to those less fortunate when he participated in fundraisers that I accompanied him to.
Every day when he came home and talked about his job, he showed his commitment to his career and the people in his community. That badge meant everything to him, and he wasn’t a crooked cop either. Matter of fact, he had no respect for those who were.
I loved when he sang off-key in the shower, when he danced while he cooked our meals, and how detail-oriented he was about cleaning. I was in awe of how he remembered every little detail about me, and he used that knowledge to do things that would honor me.
Deuce was a good man, and I didn’t want to lose him, no matter what his past held. I slowly lowered my head as I widened my mouth to take more of him in. He was slick and salty, and I loved how he tasted in my mouth.
Careful not to scrape my teeth against his skin as he grew more rigid, I sucked more and more of him to the back of my throat before I pulled him out again. I licked a trail underneath his shaft, and when I put him in my mouth again, he gripped the top of my head with one large hand.
“Ohhh, Sevyn.” He groaned his pleasure as I sank and rose repeatedly.
He gripped my head with his other hand, and before I knew it, he was fully awake.
He flipped me onto my back and fucked my throat until it felt raw.
I didn’t mind though. I would give him everything he asked, whenever he wanted to, because he deserved it.
Just when I thought he was about to cum, he pulled out of my mouth and tugged me back up the bed. I rested my head on my pillow while he tugged my panties off and pulled my coral satin chemise up my body and over my head.
I tossed it onto the floor, and Deuce lifted my legs over the crook of his arms. He slid into me and fit so perfectly.
Somehow, we had never discussed STD tests or anything.
We just started having unprotected sex out of the blue.
The oddity of that was that wasn’t something I would have done in the past. I always made a big deal out of Ethan protecting me and then getting tested before we had unprotected sex.
But once I learned that my husband was still having sex with his ex, no amount of tests could get me to have unprotected sex with him.
Until the day he died, whenever we had sex, it was always protected.
For some reason, I didn’t feel the need to exercise that same precaution with Deuce.
He made me feel like I could trust him implicitly.
At some point, when I had discussed my marriage with him before we had sex, I had mentioned that I always used protection with Ethan.
I guess that was why he openly trusted me not to give him anything.
I knew that it was reckless behavior, but I also knew deep inside that it wasn’t a decision that I would ever regret. He dug into me deep until I could feel his testicles pressed against me. He used his arms, spreading my legs out wide, to open me up to him.
It felt as if every orifice would split. Deuce worked a finger inside of my ass as he continued thrusting deep into me. The way that he held me gave him complete control. It was difficult for me to move or push him out if he went too deep.
My ass and lower back were off the bed, and I rested on my shoulders. He controlled every movement I made as he navigated us toward a powerful orgasm. Just when we were on the precipice of release, he pulled all the way back.
Laying on his side, he pulled me onto mine and hooked one of my legs over his hip. He carefully guided his erection inside of me. I bit my bottom lip as he stared into my eyes. There was something so intense and intimate about the way that he looked at me.
He kept his gaze pinned on mine, and I couldn’t close my eyes or shift them if I wanted to. He had effectively transformed us from having sex to making love. His hands lit fire throughout my body at just the feel of them as he palmed my nipples.
He skimmed them repeatedly over my nipples, never quite closing his hands. We exchanged thrust for thrust as we rocked back and forth accepting and offering our bodies to one another in a fervent exchange.
Deuce grabbed the back of my head and pulled me closer until our lips closed the last space between us. He tasted minty, as though he had just brushed his teeth, and I recalled that he had gotten up earlier this morning.
His tongue swept through my mouth, licking my teeth, sliding against my tongue, and then licking my lips.
Our kiss was sweet and slow but powerfully passionate.
We were locked together like that when I finally felt my body squeeze tight, choking the oxygen from my lungs and making my body sore.
I released on Deuce and coated him with my juices.
In exchange, he filled me with the gift of his seed, releasing hot mini missiles inside of me.
I welcomed everything that he gave, wondering how he might feel if I were to get pregnant.
“Good morning,” he whispered against my lips before he brushed them with his and then kissed my forehead.
“Good morning, yourself, sir.”
“That was a beautiful wake-up call.”
“I thought you might appreciate it.”
He smiled and wiped the hair back from my forehead. “What did you dream about?”
“You.”
The smirk on his lips grew wider. “I think that I need you to dream about me every night.”
“I think we need to start being more careful.”
“About?”
“Not getting pregnant. I was thinking while we were having sex. I realized that we have never discussed protection, STD panels, or birth control. What the hell is wrong with us, Deuce?”
“Two people in love.”
“Two fools taking risks,” I countered.
He laughed and kissed my lips again. “I don’t have anything. It’s been a while since I’ve had sex, and I also know that the last test I took came out clean. I don’t think that you’re at risk either.”
“How?”
“When you were admitted to the hospital, they took all types of tests on you, including a pregnancy test. I was in the room with Waverleigh when they shared the results with her.”
“Damn. I feel so violated. People were all in my coochie and uterus without my permission,” I teased, pressing a hand against my chest.
He laughed and tugged it away. Kissing my palm, he replied, “I assure you that it was all on the up and up. Besides, only the doctor and two nurses were in there when they performed an actual exam.”
“I guess I should be happy about that?”
“You absolutely should.”
“There’s pregnancy to be concerned about, though, Deuce. What if I get pregnant?” I asked, even as my belly tightened in anticipation of his answer. My heart tumbled as I watched his facial expression.
“What if? I mean, we haven’t been worried about it. We did nothing to prevent it, so why worry about it now?”
“This is a kid we’re talking about. Not something casual like picking up a cold or virus. A child requires a lifetime commitment, Deuce. It includes building a family.”
“What do you think that we’re working on?”
“I’m not sure. We haven’t talked about it.” I pushed my worries aside because nothing had been confirmed.
“I did. In the dressing room. I told you the minute that I gave you this good dick, you belonged to me,” he explained, flexing his dick inside of me. I giggled and pulled back just a little, but he wrapped an arm around my lower back and pulled me closer.
“That is not a discussion. That was you flexing, pretty much the way you just did.”
“Okay. Well, I’m here to tell you that though you might be living with me, I’m not here just playing house. I’m here working on building something long term with you, Sevyn. If a baby is part of that, then that’s fine. It just means that we moved the timeline up a bit.”
I bit my bottom lip and nodded. Tears pricked my eyes, and he swiped them away with his thumbs.
“Why are you crying?”
“Because you make me feel wanted.”
“You are wanted, baby.”
Tears dripped down my cheeks, and I searched his gaze.
“What’s wrong, love?” he asked, kissing my forehead and still wiping my tears away.
“Tell me the truth, Deuce.”
“About?”
“Lena.”
His jaw clenched, but to his credit, he kept his gaze on me. “That’s what I wanted to discuss last night.”
“And I’m sorry that I wasn’t ready to. Is Lena, your partner, the same woman you were in love with and lost?”
His jaw tightened again, and he briefly shut his eyes before he opened them. “Yes, she was.”
So much made sense now. “Why didn’t you tell me that from the beginning?”
Sighing, he replied, “Because I have become acclimated to keeping that secret between her and I. We were never supposed to be involved.”
“Why? Because she was married?”
“No. She was separated by the time we became involved. After he kept beating her, she left him. I was her shoulder to lean on, her confessional, and everything else that she needed. I became involved with her not by plan, but purely being there for her one day. We couldn’t be together because we were partners, and it was forbidden in the department.
We both could have lost our jobs, and she could have been shunned altogether.
Her career at any other force could have been destroyed if that knowledge got out.
Because like it or not, women still get hell on things that men get a pass on in our line of work.
They still aren’t paid equally, not held to the same standards, and get passed over for opportunities their male counterparts aren’t qualified for. ”
“You could have told me.”
“I know,” he whispered.
“I’m sorry that you lost her. Sorry that you couldn’t live your truth with her out in the open.”
He grabbed my fingers and kissed them. “Yeah, well, that wasn’t the only time I had to do that. It’s time I started walking completely in the truth. There’s more.”
Before I could ask what he meant by that, his work phone rang. He scowled as he reached over and grabbed it off the nightstand.
“Hello?” He answered the phone still staring into my eyes.
I dragged my hand down the middle of his chest before I lifted it again to rub the earring in his left ear.
“Yeah, on my way,” he replied to someone on the other end as he jumped out of bed and rushed into the bathroom.
I was slowly becoming accustomed to him having to leave whenever his phone rang. Things had changed since he made detective, but I was proud of him. He still made me a priority, so that didn’t bother me.
I climbed out of bed and headed to the bathroom so that I could shower. I knew he wouldn’t have time to shower. Deuce would only be able to wash up quickly and run to the scene of whatever crime had occurred.
“Duty calls?” I asked when I stepped into the bathroom and turned on the shower water.
“No. I’ve been called to testify after the break.”
My heart squeezed in my chest. I felt that this was about to be a turning point in our lives. I wasn’t sure why, but I knew it would be.