16. Theresa
For the next month, Theresa couldn”t tell if Derek was avoiding her, or if she was avoiding him. Or if the moment she thought they”d shared in her apartment had been a figment of her imagination.
At first, she tried blasting opera music through her apartment again, hoping to get some sort of reaction from Derek. But nothing happened. She only knew that he still lived next door to her when she occasionally heard him open and close his door. He hadn’t hosted any more parties.
Each day, she went to work. She sat silent during staff meetings, took vital signs of patients coming to the family medicine clinic, and wrote up medical notes. The work was fine at first. She didn”t need to see patients more than once, didn”t need to establish relationships or care about the people who walked through the doors, just get them in and out of the clinic.
The day after her cast came off, no one noticed or cared. She was invisible.
A patient rose from a waiting room chair when she called the name, following her back to the exam room with the usual small talk. “Take off your shoes and step on the scale, please.” She pointed to the scale without looking and she logged into the computer, pulling up the patient”s electronic medical record. “What brings you in today? Any questions for the doctor?” She glanced at the reading on the scale and jotted down the number.
“Yeah, I have a few things I need to discuss. I teach overseas and need some medications refilled before I go back.”
Theresa typed into the computer. “Where are you teaching?”
“Cambodia.”
She typed that into the computer. “Anything else you want to discuss with the doctor?”
“I need to start birth control pills.”
“Ok. Anything else?”
“That”s it.”
“Alright.” She typed into the computer again, then pulled up another screen. “I need to update your medical history before we get the doctor. Any recent changes in weight or appetite?”
“No.”
“Unusual aches or pains?”
“No.”
“Your record says that you have a history of cancer. Any signs of relapse that you”ve noticed? Pain, lumps, anything?”
“No. I”ve been cancer free since college.”
“That”s great,” she said distractedly. Something in the patient”s record stood out, and she checked the name on the chart again. Melanie Hudson. “Do you go by any nicknames?”
“Yes, my friends call me Mel. Why?”
“Just updating your file,” Theresa lied. “You said you”re teaching in Cambodia? Have you taught in any other countries?”
“Vietnam and Columbia.”
Theresa stared at the screen, not daring to look at the woman. It was Mel. Derek”s Mel. She was sure of it.
Forcing a smile on her face, she pretended to study the screen. She had no claim to Derek. She hadn”t even talked with him for a month.
“How long have you been back from Cambodia? Are you going back? The doctor will want to know,” she added.
“I got back a few days ago. But I”m only here for another week.”
Was she here to reconnect with Derek? “Visiting family?”
“Yes, but I came back to get something fixed with my visa. I figured I”d get my medical checkup done too.”
“Good idea. Your family must be happy to see you.” She pretended to type something in the records.
“They are.”
“Boyfriend?” Theresa cleared her throat and pointed at the computer. “I mean, for updating your medical record, are you married or have a boyfriend?”
A dreamy smile came over Mel’s face. “Not married. Yet. But he”s definitely a boyfriend.”
So Derek and Mel were back together. She should have known better. Why did she tell him about her past? Why did she think he’d ever want to stick around after he found out how broken she felt inside? In a few short weeks, he abandoned her and went back to Mel. Mel was the obvious choice, after all. Now that she’d seen her, she couldn’t deny that Mel was prettier, more interesting, and a better person than she could ever hope to be. Who would ever choose her over Mel? The only option left now was to ignore Derek, put those walls back in place, firmly, and never let anyone get too close again.
“I”m going to get the doctor now. I”ll let her know you want a refill on your medications.”
“And a new prescription for birth control. I definitely need birth control,” Mel said with a wink.
“Fine.” Theresa paused at the doorway. “Good luck with your relationship. I hope the two of you make each other happy.”
Because if anyone deserved happiness, it was people like Derek.
Theresa enteredthe soup kitchen for the first time since her accident. The smells of the food coming in from the kitchen, mixed with several familiar faces seated at the tables, eating their evening meal, made her feel at home.
Within a minute, Cherie, the manager, rushed out to greet her.
“You’re back! Finally! Can”t tell you how much we missed you.”
Theresa hugged her back, not fully understanding the pressure forming in her chest. “I”ve only been gone a few weeks.”
“Eight weeks. You”ve been gone eight weeks. I”m so sorry I couldn”t let you volunteer while you had the cast. It was a stupid insurance policy. You understand that, right? We really did miss you around here.”
“You only missed me because you needed extra help.”
“Hush, don”t say that.” She playfully slapped Theresa”s shoulder. “We”ve had an increase in volunteers, actually. One of the newbies is in the back. I”ll introduce you to him.”
Cherie led Theresa through the doors to the kitchen, chatting about her family along the way. Her niece was back in town and planning on volunteering at the kitchen next week. For some reason, she was looking forward to meeting Theresa.
Cherie stopped chatting as they approached one of the prep stations. A man stood, with his back to them, chopping onions.
“Theresa, meet one of our newest volunteers. Derek, this is Theresa.”
Her neighbor turned around, wiping his eyes. A line of tears streaked down his face, and his nose was a bright shade of red. A pile of oddly chopped onions sat on the counter behind him.
“Hey, Theresa.” She couldn”t tell if he was happy to see her or not since his face was contorted from the onions. “Sorry, I think the onions are getting to me. Cherie, I”ll be back in five.”
“Of course, dear. Take your time.”
The women watched Derek walk out of the kitchen.
“He started about a week after you broke your ankle. He”s enthusiastic, which is the most important quality, but . . .” her voice trailed off as she searched for the right words. Cherie never had a mean thing to say about anyone. “Let”s just be glad he”s easy on the eyes.”
“He”s my neighbor.”
“Oh? You know him? That”s great. I”m going to put him on the serving line for the first time tonight. I’ll pair him up with you. I know the customers won”t give you any trouble.”
Theresa inhaled deeply, stiffening her spine. This night would be no different from any others, even if she had met Mel and knew they were back together. She didn’t have feelings for Derek, not any more than one neighbor would have for another. The anger she felt when she looked at him was only because his presence here was intrusive, not because he chose Mel over her. And she’d remind herself that he and Mel were back together every time he looked at her with his blue eyes, like she was the only person who mattered in that moment. It was all lies, anyway. The way he’d smiled at her in the past, making her melt inside, was probably the same way he looked at Mel when they agreed to reconnect. No matter that he looked better than all the other volunteers, somehow looking cute in the stained apron that Cherie required all volunteers to wear. Any man who could look that good in an industrial kitchen shouldn’t be trusted. She just needed to remind herself that he didn’t actually care about her, and not let his ability to see past her walls affect her this evening. Burying her feelings was nothing new to her.
Twenty minutes later, Derek’s arm brushed against Theresa’s again as they stood side by side. His laugh, as he chatted with one of the regular clients, grated her nerves. How could he stand next to her, acting happy, like nothing had changed between them, when everything had changed? He abandoned her for Mel, and acted like he’d done nothing wrong.
Theresa scooped another serving of shredded chicken onto a plate at the same time that Derek dumped a spoonful of rice.
“Watch itl, Derek. I serve the chicken. You serve the rice after me. Me, then you. That’s how it goes. You”re going to make a mess,” she snapped.
“I won”t.”
“You will. There isn’t any food to waste. We”ll be lucky if there”s enough food to serve everyone here tonight,” she whispered the last part, not wanting the customers in line to overhear.
“There”s plenty of food. And I”m not planning on wasting any of it.”
“There”s not plenty of food. We”ve been short for the past three months.”
“Not short anymore.”
“How do you know that?” She stopped serving food and turned to face him, pointing her serving spoon at him.
“Easy, tiger.” He took the spoon from her and put it back into the shredded chicken. “I work here too. I know things.”
“You know things? Really?” Theresa’s voice came out strained, higher pitched than she meant. She pursed her lips together and looked back at the food in front of her. What was wrong with her? She”d perfected the art of pushing down her feelings. She was a master at not letting people get to her, or at least not letting them see when they got to her. She could win awards for her cold-hearted reactions. What happened to that side of her? “Do you want a prize for that? Should we give you some special recognition plaque that you can hang on your wall because you”ve volunteered here for a few months, and now you know things?”
The line stopped moving, and the other servers stared at her. One of the customers in line muttered something to the person next to him, and the woman waiting for her serving of chicken looked over at Derek.
Derek looked at her like there were a million things he was going to say, then set his jaw. His eyes softened slightly as he looked into her eyes.
Cherie steppedup behind Theresa and took the serving spoon from the shredded chicken. “I”m going to take over for a few minutes. Derek, why don”t you and Theresa go in the back and sort things out?”
Theresa looked back and forth between Cherie and Derek, heat rising to her cheeks. “There”s nothing to sort out. I”m fine. I can keep serving.” She tried to take the spoon out of Cherie”s hand, but the other woman”s grasp was stronger.
“Theresa,” Cherie spoke quietly, only loud enough for her to hear. “Calm yourself down. I cannot let you start a fight in the middle of the dining room. Walk away and get some air. Don”t make me fire you.”
The threat of being banned from the soup kitchen cut deep into Theresa”s chest. She gave Cherie one last look before turning on her heel and walking back into the kitchen. Grabbing her purse from the locker, she stormed out the back door.
Her hand was on the door handle to her car when she heard a voice behind her, calling her name. Derek”s voice.
Without pausing or turning around, she opened her car door and slammed it closed. As she pulled away from the curb, she allowed herself one look at Derek.
He stood on the sidewalk, looking as confused as she felt.