23. Theresa
The woman who sat in front of her resembled their mother more than herself. Or at least the memory of what her mother had looked like the last time Theresa had seen her, years ago. Wrinkled, weather-worn skin on a body that looked too thin. Ragged hair in need of a haircut. Hollow eyes with no spark of life, dry lips turned downward into a scowl, and arms crossed against her chest.
Theresa folded her own hands into fists, hiding her fingernails that she’d carefully painted earlier that morning. Her own clothing felt out of place, her hair overly styled. Val always had that way of making her feel small and insecure, like she always made mistakes.
“Hey.”
Val’s scowl deepened. “Did you bring a lawyer?”
“No, I didn’t know if you’d need one yet.”
Val let out a loud huff of air. “I’m locked up. What do you think I need?”
“I thought we could visit first. It’s been a long time. A really long time.”
“And you thought I’d just want to chat? Catch up on old times, maybe braid each other’s hair?”
“No,” Theresa hesitated. Withdrawal from drugs could be hard, and who knew what Val had been using recently? The words coming from her sister’s mouth were withdrawal pains, that’s all. “I thought you’d be happy to see me. I missed you.”
“Miss me? You missed me? Missed lecturing me, missed telling me how to live my life, missed showing me how much better you are at everything? Because let me tell you, you are no better than me.”
“I never said I was.”
“But you don’t get it, do you? I don’t want your life. Get me a lawyer, get me out of here, and then leave me alone again.”
“Val,” Theresa hesitated, glancing at the corner of the room where a guard stood, silently observing the groups of inmates and visitors positioned around the large room. “I have an extra room in my apartment. It’s all set up for you. You can move in with me. There’s a great out-patient drug rehab program a few miles from my place. You only need to take one bus to get there. Once you feel better, I can help you find a job and get back on your feet again.”
She let out a snort of laughter. “And then what? Are you going to be my babysitter? No thank you, Esa.” She drew out Theresa’s childhood nickname, the one that only her mom and sister had used, rolling her eyes. “Besides, unless you get me a good lawyer, a really good one, like the ones that charge hundreds of dollars an hour, I’m not getting out of here anytime soon. So get me a good lawyer and then we’ll talk.”
“Won’t the court assign you a lawyer?”
“A free one. That’s not going to help me. I need someone good. Someone who can get me off all my charges.”
“What are they charging you with?”
“I don’t know. They didn’t believe me when I said I was hanging onto some stolen credit cards for a friend.”
“Were you?”
Val shrugged, her posture relaxing and unconcerned.
“What else are they going to charge you with?”
“I won’t know until I show up in court.”
Theresa closed her eyes, trying to find patience. “What have you been doing?”
“Why do you want to know? So you can sit there and act like you are better than me? Because you aren’t. We’re the same. You and I—we’re twins. You can act like you aren’t as messed up as me, but we were raised by the same mom, if you can call her that. It doesn’t matter what I did, just get me a lawyer and get me out of here.”
“Have you heard from mom lately?”
“Yes.”
Theresa stared at her sister, waiting for her to say more but she didn’t. “Is she ok? Where is she?”
“She was doing better than you,” she sneered.
“Where is she?” Theresa repeated, too loud. The guard in the corner cleared his throat in warning.
Val rolled her eyes. “Where do you think? She’s living with some guy and pretending we don’t exist, like she did our entire lives. I showed up at her place about a year ago and she told the guy that I was her niece. Gave me some money, told me to leave and not come back. She didn’t want us then, and she doesn’t want us now.”
The hurt that flared in Val’s eyes came and went quickly, but it matched the pain Theresa felt.
“Don’t start acting all hurt, Esa. You can’t make her change. She’s not going to come running to you or me.”
“It’s the drugs, Val. If you can get clean, then we can find her together and convince her to stop using drugs too. Then we can all be together, like a family, and . . .” her voice trailed off as Val shook her head.
“Well, maybe she’ll want to get sober if you call her. You always were the nicer twin, more responsible and . . . pretty.” Val”s expression softened as she leaned forward. “I bet you could hire a really good lawyer, one who wears expensive suits, and get me out of here. Then we could find mom together.” Her lips curled up at the ends into a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
Val was lying.
“Do you have her phone number?”
Val shrugged. “I have her address.”
“Can I have it?”
“Maybe. Get me a lawyer, one that’s really expensive, and then we can talk.”
Theresa’s hope faded as the reality sunk in. Despite the money she”d saved, she couldn”t pay for an expensive lawyer. She”d be lucky if she could pay the bail and get Val out of this building. “What if I can’t afford a lawyer?”
“Don’t tell me you don’t have money. Look at you, you look like you’re doing ok. Don’t you have a job? You can get a loan from any bank. Sell your car, or move somewhere cheaper. I don’t care how you get the money. We’re twins, and you can’t turn your back on me.”
“But if I can’t find the money?”
“Why are you here if you aren’t going to help me?”
Theresa stared at her sister. Why was she here? She missed Val, thought of her every day, wanted to help her and fix everything so they could be close. She wanted the family she never had. But what did Val want?
“I wanted to see you,” she said, feeling like a five-year-old child.
“Well, you saw me.”
“If I can find a lawyer to get you out of here, can you promise you’ll get clean and stop using drugs?”
Val scowled. “Look, I’ll make you a deal. Once they set an amount for bail, pay that and the cops will let me go. Then you can just give me cash and I’ll hire my own lawyer.”
“How much money do you want?”
Val named an amount of money that made Theresa squirm.
“I don’t have that amount.”
“Then give me what you have.”
“Val, I?—”
“You have a job, Esa. You can earn more. We’re only talking about money here. What’s more important, family or cash?”
What was more important? Family, obviously. But would emptying her bank account and handing the money over to Val solve anything? Would it help her sister, or would she take the money and run?
“Look, I’ll pay you back. I promise.” Val’s eye twitched, the way it did back in high school when she lied. “I have some things hidden away. If you take them to the pawn shop on 82nd Street, and ask for a guy named Liam, he’ll give you good money. No questions asked. You can use that money to get me out of here.”
“What kind of items?”
“Nothing big. It’s in a duffle bag. Some jewelry, mostly. Also some computers. A small stash of, um, herbal medicine. Just don’t open anything, ok? Liam, at the 82nd Street pawn shop. Don’t show it to anyone else.”
“And where can I find the things you want me to sell?”
Val whispered an address. “Don’t let Liam rip you off. Negotiate with him. Don’t take his first offer.”
“And then what?”
“Use it for bail money, hire me a good lawyer, get me out of here.”
“And then you’ll go to rehab?”
Val’s eye twitched again. “Yes, whatever you want, Esa.”
“You’ll stay away from drugs?”
Another eye twitch. “Yup. I swear.” She held up her right hand, eyes wide and unblinking.
“And you’ll give me Mom’s address.”
She nodded.
Theresa stared at her sister, her twin. The woman who shared her DNA but could sit in front of her, telling one lie after another. Did she even know how to contact their mother? Val didn”t care about reconnecting or being a family. Didn”t care about getting sober, about facing her charges, about making any changes. She only wanted Theresa to drain her bank account to get her out of this mess and disappear, again.
“Are you sure I won’t get caught if I take your things to the pawn shop?”
Val smirked. “You won’t get caught. As long as you ask for Liam.”
”But if I do?”
”Relax, Esa. You always worry too much. They”ll let you off easy as a first time offender. Probation, maybe some fines. No more than a few months jail time if you”re really unlucky. But you won”t get caught. Trust me.”
Theresa stood up from her chair, nodding to the guard in the corner as her stomach churned, the contents of this morning’s breakfast threatening to make a reappearance.
“Thanks, Esa. I knew I could count on you to get me out of here. You’re the most important person in the world to me. We’ll always stick together, right?”
She turned and took a last look at her sister. How would Val know Theresa would show up to bail her out, after all this time apart? And where had Val been, for all these years? She’d spent hours, countless hours, looking for Val. Some of the people she’d talked to on the streets knew Val, passed messages along for her, and occasionally even gave her some messages from Val. But the messages from Val were never friendly or sisterly.
And who would ask the most important person in their world to commit a crime for them?
With a final wave to her twin, Theresa walked out of the jail’s visitor room.
Derek lept up from his chair in the waiting area as soon as she entered, wrapping his arms around her. She gave herself ten seconds to do nothing but feel the warmth of his body against hers before pushing away. What was his price? Val made it clear that she wanted money from Theresa, nothing else. What did Derek want?
Everyone wanted something.