Don't Say A Word

Chapter 1

GRAHAM REMEMBERED THE FIRST TIME it had happened, at least to his knowledge. He was picking up his sister at cheerleading practice. It was her first year on the team, and she was fourteen. She looked pretty in her uniform, the sweater vest and the little pleated skirt. She had her hair up in a high ponytail, and she bounced toward him with her pom-poms. “That girl over there,” she said by way of greeting, “the one with blond hair? She wants me to die.”

Graham looked at Kaya sideways. “I know cheerleaders can be fierce,” he said, “but I don’t think she wants to actually kill you.”

Kaya dropped her pom-poms on the floor, then bent down to tie her shoe. She shook her head. “No, she really wants to kill me.”

“How do you know that?” Graham asked, humoring her. He thought maybe there would be an interesting punchline coming.

Kaya got on her feet and shrugged. “She said so.” She started toward the bleachers to grab her jacket and backpack.

Graham rushed after her. “So you’re saying that this teenage girl, this tiny little blond-haired, blue-eyed cheerleader in small-town America, just said she wanted to kill you out of the blue? Why would she want to kill you?”

“Well, she didn’t actually say she wanted to kill me,” Kaya said, slipping her arms into her jacket. “She just said that she hoped I’d fall off the top of the pyramid and die.” She zipped her jacket.

Graham shook his head. “This doesn’t make any sense. Did you piss her off or something?”

“Not that I can think of,” Kaya said, looking up at him. “I don’t know. Let’s just go, okay?”

They started to walk toward the door. “So she just said this, right in the middle of the pyramid? That seems weird. And you don’t even seem all that upset about it.”

Kaya jerked her head back and furrowed her brow. “She’s not gonna actually do anything,” she said. “And I don’t know if anyone else heard. Although it was kind of loud.”

“How do you know she’s not gonna try something next time?” Graham asked. He was already planning on having to tell his mother about the homicidal cheerleader at Wisteria High.

“She said she didn’t have the guts to do it herself. She said it would be nice if I fell, but she’d never actually push me or make me fall. Then she just stopped talking for the rest of the time. It was weird.”

“Wait,” Graham said, stopping in his tracks. “She said she wanted you to fall off the pyramid so you would hit your head and die, and then she said she wasn’t going to kill you, but she liked thinking about it, and then she started talking about her homework . . . all while six girls were in a pyramid formation, and you don’t know if anyone else heard her? Does she talk like this all the time?”

Kaya looked up in thought. “No. Well, I really don’t know her yet, so I don’t know. I guess it was kind of weird that she started saying all that stuff in the middle of practice, and no one else said anything. Maybe there’s something wrong with her, you know, mentally.”

Graham started walking again. “Maybe,” he said. “I’ll tell you what. Keep an eye on her, okay? Let me know if she says anything else like that about you. If she does, we need to tell Mom. We can’t have people threatening you. Maybe she was just joking around.”

“I don’t know,” Kaya said, shrugging her backpack up higher on her back. “Jill doesn’t seem like the kind of person that jokes around a lot. She’s really serious. She’s really competitive. She didn’t like that I got chosen before her on the team. She thought she was better than me. She told the coach that she thought she should be the one on top of the pyramid. She’s really not as good as she thinks she is. And she does think she’s pretty special.” She opened the passenger side door of Graham’s car. “Maybe that’s why she wants me to die. So she could be the one on top after I’m dead. Huh. I guess that makes sense.”

Baffled, Graham got in the car and started the engine. Kaya was not the type of kid to tell stories. She never hid her thoughts, or her feelings. She was smart, cute, and everyone he knew liked her. Would another girl her own age really say something like that? And if she did, why didn’t the coach say something? Graham had played JV baseball, and he knew the coach would never have let anyone get away with saying things like that during practice. Plus, he simply didn’t know anyone who would say things like that. Maybe Jill really did have something wrong with her. He shrugged it off.

The next day, Kaya joined him after practice. She scrunched up her nose before she spoke. “Now Jill says she wants to put laxative in my milk at lunch so I have to miss practice to go to the bathroom with diarrhea, and she can take my place,” she said. “And this time, she really means it. I’m not gonna drink any milk on practice days anymore. I’ll only drink from the water fountain.”

Graham stared at her. “You’ve got to be kidding me. When did she say this?”

“We were doing a cheer, and we were all spread out, holding hands. Jill just said it. She said, ‘I’m gonna get you, Kaya. This time I can do it.’”

“Did you say anything back to her?” Graham was watching Jill walk across the gym with two other girls, chatting and smiling. How could everyone just act like none of this stuff was happening?

Kaya shook her head. “No, it was too loud with everyone cheering,” she said. “And I had to concentrate on my cheer.”

“Did she say anything else to you during practice?’

Kaya shook her head again. “No, she only seems to talk to me when she’s close by. I wasn’t close to her after that.”

“We need to say something to Mom.”

Kaya turned quickly to look at him. “No, Graham, please, don’t say anything, okay? I don’t want Mom coming into school and making a scene. It would be embarrassing. I want to be able to handle this myself. I’m in high school now. Besides, Jill’s not gonna try to hurt me badly. I mean, she told me what she’s gonna do. Like I said, I just won’t drink any milk. I really can handle it.”

“Why would Jill tell you what she’s gonna do, Ky?” Graham asked. “I mean, now you know, and you won’t drink the milk. It’s more like she’s trying to scare you.”

“But I’m not scared. I’m not afraid of Jill. I’m not afraid of anyone.”

He gave her credit. She didn’t look scared.

Graham let his thoughts run through his mind. “I’ll tell you what,” he said. “How about tomorrow, I sit here through practice instead of doing my homework in the library? That way, I’ll keep an eye on her, and if I see her doing anything that concerns me, I can say something to her.”

“I guess,” Kaya said, shrugging. “I think I can take care of myself, but if it makes you feel better, it’s fine.”

Graham gave his sister a smile. “You know it’s my job to look after you, right? What else is a big brother good for?”

“Not much!” Kaya said with a grin. She elbowed Graham gently in the ribs and laughed. They half walked, half wrestled back to the car.

The next day was Friday. After his last class, Graham went to the gym. He got there before Kaya and settled himself on the bleachers. Other kids were there, too, either to watch cheer practice or waiting for wrestling practice later in the afternoon. Graham said hello to some classmates that he recognized and then took out his Calculus textbook. He opened to the page that held his homework problems and worked on them until he saw Kaya emerge from the locker room. She saw him and waved enthusiastically. He waved back.

Soon after, Jill came out, followed by a few other girls. They sat in a wide circle in the middle of the floor around their coach, a young new teacher who had started after Graham became an upperclassman. Her words weren’t clear to Graham, but he could hear the cadence of her speech. She was trying to pep up the girls, and it appeared to be working. Soon, the squad was whooping and cheering as they jumped up to grab their pom-poms.

They stood in a line, and the tallest girl, a senior named Missy who Graham had known since freshman year, called out commands. The other cheerleaders called out after her, kicking, and then jumping in the air. It was a sort of choreographed dance, Graham thought, and more organized than it looked. Several times, Missy stopped the girls and gave them further instruction. Then they would start again. This went on for about fifteen minutes, and then the coach turned on some music on a large boom box. Graham didn’t even know they still made those things. The music blasted out, and the girls quickly stood in a straight line. The dance began.

Graham was amazed at the coordination that his sister showed within the group. The girls almost looked like they were working as a unit, all of their moves synchronized. And every girl, to a one, had a huge smile on her face. Pom-poms went up, and pom-poms went back down. At certain intervals, the girls would call out words, and then go silent again. Graham found himself smiling at the performance.

After the girls went through their routine three times with the music, the coach turned it off, and the circle reformed. There was more talking, and then the girls split into two groups of six, with two of the older girls left over. Graham watched as three girls from either group knelt on the floor side by side. Then two girls each climbed up on their backs. One of the girls was Jill. Jill took her place with a smile. Then it was time for the last two girls to climb up to the top. The two older girls who were not in the pyramids came and helped boost them up. Graham watched as Kaya was hoisted up on top of Jill and one other girl. The two girls in the middle kept up their smiles, but Graham could definitely see some strain on Jill’s face. She did not look comfortable. Soon, the pyramids were complete. Graham kept a close eye on Jill. She stayed amazingly still. Then, very carefully, the two girls on top made their way up on their feet, and there was Graham’s sister, standing on top of the world, one foot on the back of each girl below her. She was grinning from ear to ear, but Graham could see her legs shaking. He imagined that his legs would be shaking too if he were that high in the air on top of kneeling teammates.

Suddenly, Kaya looked down at Jill’s back. Graham glanced quickly at Jill. Jill was still staring straight ahead, her mouth closed, but her smile looking more like a grimace. Graham looked up. Kaya was still staring at Jill’s back, her smile now gone. Then she shook her head.

“Kaya, concentrate!” the coach called out. “Eyes up! Smile! Steady!”

Kaya looked up, eyes straight ahead, and smiled big.

After practice, Graham watched as Kaya said goodbye to her friends and rushed over to him on the bleachers. He was glad that Jill hadn’t said anything this time. Kaya would have to feel relieved.

“You looked great out there,” he said. “For a minute, though, you looked like you were getting scared. I was worried you’d lose your balance and fall.”

Kaya stared at him. “You heard her too?”

Graham got chills. “Heard who?” he asked, afraid of what Kaya was about to say to him.

“Jill,” Kaya said. “I can’t believe she said that.”

“What was it that she said?” Graham asked.

“She said that she hoped I would lose my balance and fall,” she said. “I couldn’t believe she would say that. And do you know what? I agree with you. I have no idea why no one says anything to her when she says these things. I know I’m one of the new kids, but still. How would they like it if someone kept saying things like that to them? And how bizarre is it that she keeps saying these things right in front of everyone?”

“Wait,” Graham said. He was frozen in his seat. He hadn’t even begun to put his books away. “When did she say this to you? When you went to get a drink at the fountain?”

Kaya shook her head. “No, dummy,” she said. “I just told you. She said she wished I would lose my balance and fall. She said it when we were in the pyramid. During the scariest part, when I was standing. I thought you said you heard her!”

Graham shook his head. “No,” he said. “I didn’t hear her. I was watching during the pyramid, and I didn’t see Jill say anything. Well, she looked sort of like she was struggling. I wonder if she feels like it’s too much weight on her back. She was trying to smile, but she couldn’t. But at no time did I see or hear her say anything.”

Kaya squinted at him. “There’s no way you could have missed it. It was really loud. She nearly made me lose my balance, she was saying it so loud.”

Graham felt his heart fall. Something was wrong here, but it wasn’t with Jill. It was Kaya. She was hearing things that weren’t actually being said. “Have you heard anyone else saying weird things recently, Kaya?”

He had learned about mental illness in his AP Psychology class. He was concerned that Kaya might be showing some early symptoms.

Kaya shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, isn’t Jill saying mean things to me enough?”

She thought for a moment.

“There was that time in the nurse’s office last week when I went to get a Band-Aid for a scab I had scratched off. I was watching her put it on, and suddenly I heard her say, ‘I wish you girls would be more careful. At least it’s just a scratch. I just hope that a few years from now you’re not coming to me with morning sickness.’ I thought that was kind of bizarre.”

Graham took a deep breath. He knew Mrs. Cazan, the school nurse. She was a timid little woman who was afraid of her own shadow. She appeared to be concerned that her patients were going to turn on her at any moment. That didn’t sound like something she would say to anyone, let alone his sweet, innocent little freshman sister.

“C’mon,” he said, putting on his jacket and stuffing his books into his backpack. “Let’s get going. I still have a bunch of homework to do. I didn’t get much done here.”

On the way home, he let Kaya play with the radio buttons. She settled on a station with popular music, and she sang and swayed all the way home. When they got there, she jumped out of the car, her backpack on her back, both pom-poms shoved under her arm. She ran inside, and Graham followed slowly. His mother’s car was in the driveway, and Graham knew that meant his mother was working from home. He headed to the back room where she’d made her office and knocked on the door. After she called for him to come in, he opened the door.

“Just a minute, sweetie,” she said as she typed the end of an email. She hit send with a flourish, and then turned to look at him with a smile. “What’s going on, Graham Cracker?”

Graham looked at his mother, her beautiful grin bisecting her face. He wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t know how she would receive his words.

“I . . . well, I wanted to talk to you about Kaya .”

Mrs. Reed’s smile fell. “What about Kaya?” she asked. “Graham, you look serious as a heart attack. What’s wrong?”

Graham sighed and resigned himself to saying what he needed to say. “Mom, I think Kaya might be hearing voices.”