CHAPTER 21 MAX
I ’m out hunting today. Mili has been here almost a full week, and I’ve succeeded – almost too well –in avoiding her. The first few days, the thought of running into her overwhelmed me. Her cinnamon and chocolate scent, though faint enough, since she was far across the volcano, has driven me completely insane.
It’s putting all three of us on edge, each of us dealing with the sexual tension in our own way I suppose. Cory, for one, is working out like he’s training for the Dragon Olympic Games—seriously, at this point, he’s so fit that even I find him sexy, and that’s saying something! Meanwhile, Port has gone quiet, almost like a cat that’s just realized it’s been caught in the rain—he’s sulking so much that I half expect him to start moping around with a sad violin playing in the background. The only time I see any energy from him is during our training sessions, where he re-emerges like a caffeine-fueled jack-in-the-box. And me? Well, I hunt.
I know that I’m not the type of man she should be around.
She’s clearly fragile; she didn’t stay to fight Port and me, choosing to run instead. She can fly, but flying is a delicate act: wings are easily damaged, and must be reserved for use in only the most dire of circumstances. Even her body looks more elegant than rugged, better for healing and lounging than fighting and killing.
I quickly decided that she must not be much of a warrior, even by faery standards. As such, she must be treated with the utmost care and caution. Even her scent has a certain airy quality, as if she could float away at any instant. Plus, Cory clearly instructed his pack and his commanders that she must be treated with total carefulness, and handled completely gently.
For me, that means leaving her alone.
I’m not a “safe” person –I know that. I’ve hurt and killed more men than I care to count. That’s part of the deal, right? Being powerful means doing horrible things, and the violence you commit requires that you accept responsibility for it.
It wasn’t a surprise Port and I had assassins sent after us, given our “trade.” It wasn’t the first time we ran, either –although it was the first time we were truly in danger. Our assailants had some magick about them, something unearthly, that allowed them to dispel some of our own powers.
That’s how we ended up here, with Cory. Although it’s become a blessing in its own right, it’s not a good feeling: running away, landing in someone else’s protection.
I’m still getting used to the whole “damsel in distress” thing, obviously, so in its own strange way, keeping Mili safe is comforting. It’s like I have some power again, in keeping my power tucked away from her, keeping myself far away. Of course, though, one can only avoid something for so long until it starts to drive you to utter madness.
All that to say ... yeah, I needed to hunt.
I’m ten minutes into following a large deer when the smell of spice and cacao hits me: Mili . Her name echoes around in my mind, catching like flames to dry wood, bouncing through my consciousness. I try to avoid it, but I hear the light rustling of faery footsteps, and I smell her sweat, and I hear her heavy breathing, and I give in–I have to see her.
Even though I was already walking carefully, I slow my pace significantly and shift my trail to head straight for Mili’s scent. The deer hears me turn and sprints away, and I silently curse myself for giving in to the temptation to see the faery. Still, how can I blame myself?
All I’ve been able to think of, since I last saw her in the woods, is that long, black hair, and those bright and gentle hazel eyes. The thought of seeing her now, of watching her work her magick, or run, or fly, sends a hot blush of arousal down my spine.
I walk through the forest like a panther after its prey, stepping slowly – right foot, then left –on soft mud. I avoid leaves and brush, crouching expertly to dodge vines and hanging branches. I breathe slowly, ignoring my pounding heart as I move like shadow through the forest.
Eventually, the smell of her consumes me, and I have to focus not to inhale it in one heavy, choking gulp. I feel my pupils dilate with heat and need, and I clench my teeth to control myself.
Then, suddenly: there she is. The beautiful faery healer of Ethelinda, utterly unaware that I’ve just stalked through the woods to find her.
I can’t let her see me, I know –can’t risk a real interaction, can’t risk her getting close –and that kills me. I can behave, though, I can be good. I’ll just crouch low, behind a patch of heavy underbrush, and watch her.
She looks frustrated, her brows knitted together and teeth gritted. She’s grunting, throwing her hands about in some sort of spell, or something. I don’t know much about faeries, I realize with a silent smile. I suppose this is my first real experience with one, anyway. There aren’t many where Port and I hail from.
Her shiny black hair hangs limp from sweat, especially in the strands around her face, and I barely stop myself from licking my lips. The thought of sucking the salt water from her hair, then moving my tongue to her body – oh, godsdamnit . I can’t be here.
My breathing catches as I start to move, inching myself slowly backwards, hoping I can get out of here without her seeing me. My cock is throbbing in my pants, I realize, and I feel a touch of premature wetness on my undergarments. I tighten my jaw, humiliated with the effect this girl has on me without even trying , and continue my backwards scrabble through the leaves.
Then flames spark up from my fingertips, right as I look back at Mili for one final glance.
Mili whirls around with the sudden crackling sound, and I throw myself behind a larger tree.
“Who goes there?” her voice booms out over the clearing. Her tone is shockingly commanding, and I actually burst out laughing. Damn my fabulous sense of humor.
“Oh, gods,” I grumble through my smile. I stand up and stamp out the small fire with my boots, rolling my eyes at the whole situation.
“Max?” she asks, eyes wide. She stumbles backwards through the clearing, and almost trips over an exposed root.
“Mili, come now. Do we need to do the whole run-for-your-life thing again?”
I feel like an ass already, but it’s easier if she doesn’t like me. I still need to figure out how I’m going to play off the whole hiding-and-watching-her thing, too. Sigh.
“Why were you hiding and watching me?” she asks on point.
This time, I sigh aloud. “Cory doesn’t want you out here alone,” I lie with an eye roll. “Didn’t you know?”
She frowns, crossing her arms. It pushes her breasts up, and suddenly I can’t focus. She says something, but I don’t even hear it. I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to clear the image from my mind.
“Are you even listening to me?” she asks, more irate by the second.
I smirk. “Sorry, but no.” I am such a dick .
Then, for some reason, she laughs. Not just any laugh, either – a completely, utterly hysterical laugh. She bends over, one hand on her stomach, and just loses it for a minute. I stand there, feeling increasingly awkward, before she finally stands back up. She wipes her eyes, which are teary with glee, and looks to me.
“Gods,” she says, “I needed that laugh. You’re actually pretty funny, aren’t you? Well, mostly rude, but funny, too.”
I scratch the back of my neck at that. I’m not sure whether to feel more insulted or flattered, so I just shrug. “Someone has to be.”
“Yes, I suppose so.”
There’s a moment, then, when we just stare at each other, each lost in thought. I look over her thoughtlessly, noting the tight leather garments (a gift of Cory’s, no doubt) wrapped snugly around her pointed waist, holding in her soft belly. She even has a weapon on her: a dagger, strapped to her thigh.
My eyes shoot open. “Do you even know how to use that?” I ask without thinking.
She narrows her eyes at that comment, and frowns. “What? Of course I do.”
“Do you actually ?” I ask. Somehow, I’m not convinced. “You know, it’s more dangerous than being unarmed if you don’t know how to use your weapon. An assailant can take it and use it against you.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re afraid I could hurt you,” she says, chin lifted in defiance.
I bark out a laugh at that comment; it’s so nonsensical, I can hardly believe she means it. “Oh, that’s funny,” I shoot back, “and utterly ridiculous.”
“What’s ridiculous about it?” she asks, voice rising. “I’m one of the most powerful beings in Ethelinda, and I doubt you can say the same!”
Hardly aware of myself, I take several steps towards her, until the gap between us is almost closed. She gasps at the closeness, but doesn’t step back. I stare down at her, realizing just how much taller I am, and feel my eyes soften – I don’t want to scare her.
“You don’t know how to defend yourself, Mili. I’m a hunter, I can tell.” My voice comes out softer than I mean it too, so I say with a bite, “I’d have you knocked out and tied up in a minute’s fighting.”
Her glower only gets stronger with my half-threat, and she moves a hand to slap me. Without thinking, I catch her arm and twist, an instinct I didn’t even realize was tucked away. She cries out in pain, and I immediately release her, kneeling with her as she falls to her knees.
“Oh, my gods, I’m so sorry,” I whisper. I’ve already hurt her . The thought races through my mind, and I feel my vision start to blur.
“No,” she says firmly, “it’s okay. I wanted to see if you would do it.”
I frown, barely restraining myself from reaching out to hold her. “What do you mean?”
She looks up at me, rubbing her arm gingerly. “I wanted to see if you’d stand up to me. Max, I–”
“What is it?” the words tumble out of me, the urgent need to help her entirely overwhelming. Damn, Cory is not the only one with the alpha issues.
“I–” she chokes out, just as she starts to cry. It’s not a small sob, either; it’s heavy, gasping, and I can’t help but kneel down beside her. I just start to rub her back, feeling awkward but needing to help her, as she screams out a battle-cry of sorts and launches into me.
We roll across the ground and land with Mili straddling me, total rage in her eyes. If I wasn’t slightly concerned for my safety, I would pull her to me and kiss her, take her right there in the grass and pine needles.
Then she pulls a hand back in a vicious fist, and I roll sharply, flinging her off me to the ground. She lands on her back, knocking the breath out of her, and I almost, almost feel bad as I stand above her with a smirk, watching as she gasps for air and tries to crawl away from me. I kneel down, twisting her chin to face me, a crooked smirk on my face.
“Got you.” She stares at me, eyes blazing, but – to my great shock –a bright smile breaks out on her face.
As she pants, she asks, “Will you train me?” gazing up at me with her shining hazel eyes. My eyes go wide, and one of my eyebrows shoots up to the sky, disbelieving, so she continues, “I know the others won’t. Cory, and probably Port, too, I’m sure will worry they’ll hurt me, but that’s exactly why I need to be trained. I need to get my strength back, I need to replenish my magick, I need –I need you.”
She blinks, and I watch her eyelashes dance, like dark black feathers fanning across her eyelids. A hair is caught in them, probably from when she fell, and it waves gently with her breathing.
My breath stutters at the sight of her, staring up at me so earnestly, and I reach a hand out to brush her hair back from her eyelid. Before I touch her, though, I stop myself, and stand hurriedly.
“Max!” she calls out as I walk away.
“I will train you,” I yell back, already several paces across the clearing. “We’ll meet, starting in a week.”
“Really?”
I nod, completely honest. I can protect her. I know I can. I have to .
“Will I see you before then?” she asks, her face just slightly flushed. My heart aches at the question, and as much as I’d like to see her, Realm knows I’d follow her around like a dog if I could –I shake my head. Her eyes narrow and she asks, “What? Why?”
“I’m sorry, alright? It’s better for you, though, the less we interact.”
She frowns and starts to storm up to me, but trips on a branch. Before I realize I’m doing it, my hands are wrapped around her, catching her effortlessly. She gasps and turns to face me, but I set her on her feet quickly and walk away, praying she doesn’t hear my heart pounding in my chest.
“Max!” she calls to me, scowling. “How can you say that? I just hardly tripped and you knew to catch me.”
“It’s my killer instinct,” I reply with a wry chuckle.
She rolls her eyes. “That’s a bit bleak, isn’t it?”
She doesn’t get it, does she? I’m not like them , I can’t – I can’t save her. I’m destructive, I hurt people, I burn . I shrug at her and she steps up to me, reaching to take my hand in hers. I pull back, nearly hissing with the almost-touch, and her eyes go wide again.
I sigh. “Mili, listen. I’m not here to care for you, like Cory or Port. I’m not affectionate, I don’t – I can’t be what you need. I’m here to keep the people I care about the hell out of trouble, then I go back to minding my own business. I’m not caring, not gentle. I’m not like them.”
“But you do,” Mili says, “you do care about me.”
“I don’t,” I spit back, desperate to make her understand.
Somehow, she doesn’t budge, doesn’t run away. Instead, she just takes a small step towards me.
“What, Mili?” I ask, voice shaking slightly.
She steps even closer, her scent overpowering me, the cinnamon and chocolate I already can’t resist wafting over me like perfume. My breath hitches and I tilt my head to face as far away from her as possible. In response, she takes her hands and gently turns my face to hers.
“Don’t run from me,” she whispers. “I’m not as delicate as you might think, Max. I won’t break.”
I exhale shakily as she brushes my bottom lip with her thumb. I choke back a groan, barely able to restrain myself from taking her, here and now, and I storm off through the clearing to the volcano.
It’s better this way, isn’t it? Safer, calmer. She doesn’t deserve someone like me.
I feel her watching me, but I don’t look back.