Chapter 10
Lennie
My mouth twists up into a smile when I see him walk through the front door. I'm not looking at the desk, I'm moving photographs around, having just made a sale, so I see him come in. "Hey, Levi. What a pleasant surprise."
He grins. "Hey. Am I catching you at a bad time?"
"No. Not at all. You've brought me good luck, in fact."
"How's that?" He stands there, and then he sees me moving an easel, and he helps me push it safely to an open spot.
"Well, since you bought that picture, I've been on a selling streak. I just sold another picture."
"Yeah?" He's impressed. "Which one?" He asks, like he knows my inventory like the back of his hand. It's cute.
"The one with the expectant mother and the angel. It's going to be a baby shower gift."
His expression slips a notch.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or remind you, you know, of what's to come." I stammer.
"No, no, it's okay." He chuckles, raising a hand. "That's a beautiful piece. I just, I was picturing it in my mind. You didn't upset me or anything. Jesus, is it that obvious?"
I smile. "No, I just figured it might be triggering. I have to be careful sometimes. I see a lot of people in a day. Every one of them with their own stories. Photographs can spark a memory or create emotion, and over the years, I've learned to be sensitive to that."
"Yes, you have."
We look at each other for a beat, until I break the silence. "So, to what do I owe this pleasure?" The moment I say that word, it takes me back to the night I dreamed about him, both consciously and unconsciously. My hands and imagination taking me on a ride that I'll never forget.
"I'm going boating with Buddy tonight, and I just thought that I'd stop by and say hello to you first."
God, I want to kiss him so bad. "Hello."
"Hi."
He's giving me bedroom eyes, but I don't think that he means to. It's sort of the way that he looks at me, I guess. "Did you find a place to hang your picture?"
"Yes, I did." He nods, following me to the back counter. "It's in my room at the ranch, along with my new drafting table."
"Oh, that's perfect! It'll give you some inspiration."
"It already has. I've been drafting up a house of sorts for myself. Possibly a real one, unless I find out that I made a critical mistake down the road while I'm getting my drafting degree."
"I'd love to see it some time." I say conversationally, as I put together another easel, readying it to display one of the photos that I took of the stream at night with Levi.
"I was going to ask. When will you have some time to do some more riding? Take some lessons. The last time I saw you that didn't really count."
His eyes are so mesmerizing. I've got such a crush on this man. I could look at him all day long and never get tired of it. To avert my thoughts, which are going south, I throw a wrench in the conversation, unwittingly. "Did you mention this to Shelly? Is she okay with it?"
He blinks. That hit a nerve. "Um, the last time I checked, I don't need to ask my girlfriend if it's okay to do my job."
"Oh." I blink. "Okay. I just don't want to cause any trouble."
"It's no trouble, Lennie. I teach riding lessons all the time. You worry too much. And besides, she's, well, I don't know what she's doing. I can't seem to wrap my head around it."
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
His gaze slowly, inch by inch, moves to the floor.
We're in the back room, not visible to anyone outside.
The look on his face is unreadable. It looks like maybe he's going to cry, but I'm not sure.
"What is it, Levi?" I ask, taking a step towards him.
I want so badly to touch him, to comfort him, but I don't trust myself.
"I, um." He looks at the wall, averting his gaze from me. "Listen, I've got to go. Why don't you come by the ranch later. I'll be there. I'm staying at the resort house."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah." He nods, but he doesn't look at me.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." He says, unconvincingly. "I've got to go. Buddy is waiting for me."
"Sure. I'll see you later."
"Yeah."
He can't look at me. It's like he's battling with himself over something, but it's none of my business to ask.
The man is hurting. He's all over the place, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Here I am, lusting over a man that isn't mine, shamefully, and he's so outside of himself that he can't carry on so much as a conversation.
He's a friend and I'm not being much of one.
I make up my mind to dust myself off and grow up.
We'll have fun riding tonight, and this time, I won't be stupid enough to bring up his problems, just as a tactic to divert my own immature thoughts.
This isn't like me. Normally, I'm very levelheaded.
I'm also good to the people that are good to me.
Not like this. I decide that I'm working too hard and I need to take a break.
In my world, that means getting my camera and going on a hunt.
The 'closed' sign gets lit up an hour early, and I find myself cruising through town, until I end up at the marina.
Somehow, Levi's idea of going boating must have tipped something off inside my brain, and all is fine and well, until I see him and Buddy walking towards his boat.
I'm mere feet away, at the marina, as they climb on the vessel, and sit in the front.
Far enough away so they can't see me, something tells me to remain there and use one of my hidden talents.
Moral or not, I need to know. And what I find out, well, let's just say that I have to figure out whether or not it helps.
Buddy's fixing something in the mast as Levi sits there, forlornly, on the deck. "Your face has been dragging to the ground since back at the store, Levi. You want to tell me what's wrong, or is this a two-drink minimum sort of thing? Your daddy manage to get himself into more trouble, son?"
"You know I don't drink, Buddy. And, no, daddy's on his way to rehab last I heard. Can't say that I give a damn though."
"Then what's with the sour puss? This anything to do with that chippy?"
He looks up. "Which chippy are you talking about?"
Buddy's eyebrows rise. "Oh. There's more than one." He shakes his head. "God, you kids nowadays. I tell you. I'd barely want one woman in my life, but today, Jesus."
"It's not like that, man." Levi corrects. "I'm only in love with one of them."
My heart stops.
Buddy stands upright, leaving the mast for a moment. "This got anything to do with you buying that picture from Lennie?"
I feel like I should stop eavesdropping, but it's like my evil alter ego is sitting next to me, eating popcorn, smacking me down each time I try to rise. Shushing me.
"Sort of." Levi admits. "And I don't know what the fuck to do about it."
"So, you're having a baby with this other woman, but you've got a thing for Lennie." Buddy checks. "Is that right?"
Levi nods. "Yeah."
"Jesus Christ, Levi. In the town's eyes, your daddy's starting to look like the better goddamn man here."
"I haven't tried to kill anyone, Buddy."
"Don't be a fool, Levi. Y'all know how this town works.
It's the men that run out on their responsibilities that are scumwads.
And there are plenty of them. Your daddy's going to be getting himself sober while you're out knocking up one girl, even though you've got another one already knocked up. " He tisks.
"Tell me what I should do then, Buddy." Levi says, raking a hand through his hair.
"Because as much as I'd love to stay away from Lennie, I can't. My heart and my head won't let me.
And as much as I'd love to be with Shelly, and fulfill my fatherly obligations, my heart and my head won't let me.
You know, she won't even talk about the baby until she finds out how far along she is?
Jesus Christ. She's driving me over the fucking ledge like this.
I don't even know if she's married or not. "
Buddy comes down hard. "Then why the fuck did you climb into the sack with her, boy?
Goddammit, shame on your brother Nash for not smacking you around for pulling a stunt like this.
That's rule number one, you fool! You don't just screw around with a woman y'all don't know nothing about!
What happens if she is married? All the writing's on the wall if she's got a belly a mile wide and she hasn't slept with her husband in months!
Never mind worrying about your daddy killing you!
Worry about that dang husband coming around and knocking some sense into you!
" He mutters something as he walks back over to the mast, but then he thinks twice, and walks back to Levi.
"And what makes you think that she's married? "
"Wedding rings. She's got them. Or she had them. In her bathroom. She's taken them away now."
Buddy purses his lips. "I ought to slap you upside the head."
I feel sick.
I know too much.
I'm as much as a fool as Levi for sitting here, reading lips, eavesdropping on these two. It's both a gift and a curse, and I decide to take my camera and get away, before they realize that I've been sitting here the whole time. I hop back in my car. I don’t want to go home, because I know that all I’ll do is ruminate. Going to mama and daddy’s place is a bad idea, too, because they don’t need to know about any of this.
So, I head over to the next best place, which is Trisha‘s. Normally, I send her a text message when I’m on my way, but I don’t even think about that this time.
It’s weird knocking on her door, because she always tells me just to come in, but since this visit is unannounced, I don’t want to scare her.
She opens the door with a concerned look on her face. “What’s going on, Lennie? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost." She’s still in her work clothes and her hair is still tied up, so I know that she’s only been home for a minute or two.