Chapter 10 #2
I walk inside and remove my shoes. “I did something monumentally stupid just now.” I follow her into the kitchen, where she pours us both a glass of sweet tea.
There’s a container full of cookies that seems to be perpetually full on her kitchen table.
She opens the container up, takes one, and turns it towards me.
I take a bite of one before I speak. “Levi is in love with me.”
She looks at me like there should be more to the story. “And we are not happy about this because?"
“That’s the stupid part. I should never have followed him and Buddy to the marina. I should never have eavesdropped on their conversation. I’m supposed to find out that he loves me by him telling me, not by him confiding in a friend."
She looks like she’s riding a bike with her arms. “Okay, honey, walk me through this."
“He came to the store say hello. He was only there for a few minutes, and then he fled. I didn’t ask him why, but I ended up getting into my car and following him to the marina, because that’s where he said he would be.
I sat there, like I was assigned to some covert operation.
I should’ve brought a wig and a pair of sunglasses as a disguise, because that’s how sneaky I feel for doing it. ”
“And how do we know that he loves you?”
“Because I saw him tell Buddy that he was. Right after he told Buddy that this girl that he got pregnant is married.”
Trisha grabs another cookie and bites it off more aggressively than needed.
“Tramp. Women like that give us a bad name, Lennie. You ought to stay clear of Levi if he’s not only fooling around with you when he’s expecting a baby with someone else, but if he’s expecting a baby with someone else who’s still married. What is going on with this world.“
“I don’t think that he knows whether or not she’s married. That’s the thing. He didn’t say specifically that she was, just that he suspected she was. That’s what’s troubling him. Well, that's one of them many things that’s troubling him.“
“It’s still wrong, Lennie.”
“I know. It’s got wrong written all over it. And I should know better. But I just can’t help it.”
“Oh, I get it.” She says, padding my hand.
"That man is an eye full of candy. And he’s sweet and he supported your business and all, but if he’s trying to get into your pants, when he’s got a baby on the way with this other woman, married or not, he’s just as much of a scumwad as that daddy of his sitting in jail.
“ She moves her hand. "Now, I won’t sit here and watch my best friend get hurt over this.
That man needs to figure his shit out. And he needs to stay away from you until he does. “
“I know it. And, for the record, I didn’t invite him to the store. He came of his own accord.”
Trisha gives me a look like I just asked her if the sky was still blue. “Do you think I don’t know that?“
“I don’t know what to do, Trish. I don’t want to be rude to him and break his heart.“
I watch her chest rise and fall before she speaks.
“I know it’s hard. Once again, having feelings for someone that is out of reach.
And this one really hits hard, because for once, this someone actually feels something for you.
But before this gets out of hand, Lennie, before you get hurt badly, you’ve got to either let him know where you stand, or you’ve got to shut the door. “
“And that’s where the trouble lies. It’s going to be awfully suspicious if I just instantly start rejecting him, when I was willing to be his friend before I found out that he was falling for me.
That’s the real reason why I’m kicking myself for what I did today.
It was easier not knowing. It was easier just dreaming. The way it’s always been.”
“Look at it this way. At least you know. Knowledge is power. Use it wisely.”
Levi
After Buddy's lecture, I help him fix the mast, and we head out onto the water. We say nothing to each other, we just taken in nature. It goes without saying that being in nature clears your head. In my heart of hearts, I know that Buddy is right. It doesn’t matter that I’m falling in love with Lennie.
I’ve got no business being with her other than as friends.
And I know that every time I’m with her I want to be more than just friends.
I don’t want to turn this into a game. I don’t want to hurt her or anybody for that matter.
But I promised her riding lessons, and riding lessons I’ll give her.
This is the part where I need to grow the fuck up.
But Buddy was also right about me learning a thing or two about women before getting involved with them.
Something my daddy never taught me or my brother.
I’m in my room, studying, when I hear a tap at the door. Cassidy‘s head appears on the other side. “I think that girl is here to see you.“
“Shit. I forgot to tell Billy that she’d be stopping by for riding lessons. I’ll be right out.“
After placing my hat on my head, I head outside.
Lennie is talking to Piper, who is sitting on the front porch of the ranch house, drinking tea.
Lennie sees me and gives me a little wave.
God, she's adorable. Like a little girl at heart, but all grown up and on her own everywhere else.
I try to shake it off, but she's standing right there, and I'm about to give her a riding lesson, which is my bread and butter right now.
Until I master the art of designing properties, that is.
"Hi, there." I lift my Stetson up off my head. "Are you ready?"
"I am." She smiles.
"Be sure to come on in for a piece of pie when you're through." Piper insists. "I want a lesson in photography, too. It's a secret passion of mine."
"Definitely. I'd love to talk shop with you." Lennie says. "I don't get to do that with anyone."
"You two have fun." Billy says, coming out from the ranch house.
"We will. Thanks." Lennie says.
"Digger's all set." Cassidy informs.
"Sprout been out earlier?" I ask. "I haven't ridden him in a while."
"Sure, if that's what you prefer." Billy nods. "Whatever you like."
"Come on. How about I let you pick your horse." I tell Lennie.
"Any of them is fine, really."
She follows me to the stable. Not a word is uttered about how abruptly I left her store earlier.
It surprises me, even though I don't have an explanation prepared.
Without asking her, I just grab Sprout from his pen and bring the mounting block over to her.
"I assume y'all want to actually ride alone this time, not with me.
" I say as I show her how to get on the horse without my help.
She was a natural before, so I don't see why she wouldn't be still.
Once she's up, I give her the most basic skills on how to stop and start, how to steer, and we bring Sprout outside of the stable.
I help her ride him to the gated pasture, where they can practice together, and the only words that are exchanged are from the lesson.
"How y'all feeling up there?" I ask, being careful to look up as I speak, so that she can see my mouth.
"Good."
"Are you comfortable? You want to take him for a few laps around the gate here?"
She nods. "Sure. I'd love to." She speaks to Sprout, patting his neck. "Wouldn't you love to go for a little walk, boy?"
I grin as she talks to the horse, just like I do. "They love it when you talk to them. It calms them. Helps them get to know your voice."
"They're smart creatures. I'm just ashamed to have lived here all my life and never learned to ride."
"Lots of people are like that. Nothing to be ashamed of. I was raised around horses, and then I had my share of ranch work off and on, and now I'm working here."
"What made you decide to get into architecture?"
I lick my lips and keep my head towards her, following her in the pasture, as they make rounds along the fencing.
"Well, that was sort of a spontaneous thing, see.
I never knew that I was into that until I saw the advertisement pop up on my phone about five years ago.
It got stuck in my head, and then I put it off for a bit, but then I just woke up one morning a couple of years ago and said that's it.
I want to have more than just menial labor as a livelihood.
I want something to show for it. I've been putting money away all my life and I figured it's time to invest in something more than a house or the stock market.
I figure once I'm finished school, I can get a job either in town or in Dallas, and start somewhere, and then maybe I'll start up my own business down the line some time.
I'll be working for the rest of my life.
I can't see stopping, so I figure I might as well do something that keeps my mind active, since I'll always ride or work for Billy. "
"I'm the same. I can't see me ever not working. I love what I do too much. It's not even like work. I might have someone come and work some shifts for me here and there, like I do now. But ultimately, my face in that store makes all the difference. And I love being there."
We come to the entrance of the pasture. "How do you feel about riding on your own? I'll go grab Digger and we can ride slowly, outside the pasture?"
She nods. "Sure. That sounds like fun."
And the next hour is the most fun I've had in years.
Even though I know that it won't be this way for long.