Chapter 3
Fred scanned the sanctuary, searching for a seat, as he finished eating his third Timbit since Sunday school had ended.
He had just enough time to find a place to sit, and then join the worship team on stage before the service started.
He took a swig of his nearly gone, and rather cold, coffee just as he spotted an empty chair next to his brother Eddie.
If he was quick, he could probably snag it.
“Excuse me.” He squeezed his way past the women talking behind the last row of chairs on the left side of the room.
And the seat was gone. He blew out a breath.
Oh, wait, Nikki was standing up again. Maybe he was in luck.
Nope.
Eddie and Ava switched seats and Ava’s friend Nikki sat back down again. He guessed that meant he wasn’t sitting with Eddie. He’d just store his coffee mug and Bible on the front row where usually no one ever sat, and then, when he was done, he’d grab them and find a place in the back.
“You can probably sit with me,” Esther said when he joined her on stage. “I had hoped Steve might show up today. I mentioned I was singing and invited him, but so far…” She let the words trail off in a shrug.
Was it wrong to be happy someone hadn’t come to church? Probably. But then again, Steve must have his own church. So it wasn’t as if Fred was happy he wasn’t somewhere today, right?
“How was the movie?” Fred adjusted the strap of his guitar. He didn’t truly have an unquenchable interest in her date or anything. It just seemed the polite thing to do to inquire about it.
Awkward. Being polite felt so awkward.
Truth be told, there wasn’t any other way to describe how he felt around Esther ever since Steve had come into the picture. Just the air around her felt like it wanted to push him out and keep him as part of a faded picture in a scrapbook.
Esther smiled broadly. “It was good. The whole date was really nice.”
Really nice? Not amazing? Not unforgettable?
That didn’t seem to be a resounding endorsement for the success of a date.
He likely shouldn’t feel so uncomfortably happy about that either, right?
But how could he not feel just a bit pleased because Steve might not be Esther’s forever guy?
And that’s what made him uncomfortable, because it wasn’t very best-friend supportive of him to wish for her date to go poorly.
It was just another one of the many new uneasy feelings Steve had brought to his life.
“We’re going to go bowling this Friday. Just the two of us. I mentioned that it was fine with me if Madison joined us, but he’d rather not involve her yet, which I guess I can agree is a good idea.”
“Sounds promising.” Sort of. Maybe? Why was the guy hesitant to let Esther and his daughter get close?
Wasn’t he thinking about forever with Esther?
Or was he still unsure about dating her?
To Fred, that seemed ridiculous. What was there to not like about Esther?
Not that he truly wanted Steve to like her.
And there was that guilty feeling again.
“Yeah. It is,” Esther agreed. “I’ve never dated anyone with a kid before, so it’s new territory. That’s three hearts to consider not just two.”
“I suppose that is different,” Fred muttered as he readjusted his guitar strap. He’d really rather not have to discuss her date much longer. He should have had a fourth Timbit. Then, he’d have been too late getting to the stage for conversation.
“Did you enjoy your movie?” she asked.
He nodded. “Nikki joined us.”
Esther’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, that’s nice.”
Fred shrugged. Having Nikki there had been nice, but not any nicer than having anyone else join them. Definitely not nicer than when Esther came to movie nights. “It was a great opportunity to get to know my future sister-in-law’s best friend.”
Esther clutched his arm. “Did Eddie and Ava get engaged?” Excitement fairly dripped from her words.
“Nah, but you know they will.” And that would leave just him and Brandon as the sole Bennett bachelors. He glanced at the monitor. The countdown timer had reached the one-minute mark, and he joined with the keyboard in playing the song that they would lead the worship time off with.
“Sit with me?” Esther asked quietly.
“If the seat’s not taken,” he agreed, which earned him a smile as she picked up her microphone and made sure that it was turned on. He liked sitting with Esther. It was where he often sat, but today, he’d rather sit on the front row with no one.
Help me, Lord. I don’t know how to navigate this mess in a way that honours You.
“Welcome to Hatfield Falls Christian Church,” his dad said from the podium.
“We are delighted to have you here, whether you’re new to our family or a member of long standing.
May the Lord be honoured in our worship today and bless us through it.
As always, let’s begin with a word of prayer and then some singing. ”
Four songs later, Fred still didn’t know how to handle the situation with Esther, but his heart felt lighter, and the love of God felt more real.
He loved that about worship. It was as if the Lord drew closer the more he sang or strummed.
He stepped down from the platform and picked up his mug and Bible.
Then, he made his way to the back of the room just as Steve entered.
In Fred’s mind, a small voice said, “Step away.”
Is that You, Lord?
Was this his answer to his earlier prayer? Whether it was or not, he wasn’t going to sit with Esther and her boyfriend, even if there were a dozen vacant seats next to them – which there weren’t.
“Is this taken?” he asked one of the guys on the welcome team, who always sat along the back wall.
“Nope. It’s all yours if you want it.”
“Thanks. I’ll be right back.” He put his Bible on the chair and slipped out the door to find the washroom. Two cups of coffee may have been one too many, and he’d rather miss a bit of his dad’s intro rather than leave in the middle of the sermon.
He hadn’t always appreciated the preaching part of church.
As a teen, he had found it all dreadfully boring.
But now, as an adult who was settled into his life and yet didn’t have everything figured out, man, he craved a good sermon that spoke to his heart.
And his dad was one of the best at crafting such a sermon.
Maybe he should ask his dad what he should do about Esther.
“Hey,” Brandon said as he entered the washroom. “Sneaking out of service?” He grinned.
“Same as you, apparently.”
“I stayed up too late last night working on a project.”
Brandon owned an art studio called The Weekend Wanderer that focused mainly on his photography but had some other handcrafted items as well.
“Is business good?” Fred turned on the water and soaped up his hands.
“Yeah, not bad. I need to replace another picture for The Baked Apple Café. Cari wasn’t wrong about that being a great place to show my photographs. That makes three sales from there in less than a year.”
“Hey, that’s great! And your studio is seeing sales, too?” Fred tossed his paper towel in the bin.
Their sister Emma and Cari Welsh owned and operated The Baked Apple Café and food truck.
And with their older brother Will running his own home construction…
flipping… renting… whatever business, that left only Fred and Eddie as the non-entrepreneurial Bennetts.
And even Eddie had a side hustle in editing.
Running his own business – even just as a side gig – didn’t interest Fred one iota.
“Yep, though, to be honest, a lot of it is coming from the online shop and not foot traffic.” Brandon shrugged as he washed his hands. “Not that I care about that. I actually prefer to not see people too often. It gives me more time to play with new concepts.”
Brandon was not the social butterfly of the Bennett family. That moniker likely belonged to their brother Henry.
“Did I see that some guy is here with Esther?”
“Yep. Steve. They’re dating.”
“Ah, so he’s the guy she was out with on Friday so that she couldn’t come to our movie night?”
Fred nodded.
“And how are you doing with that?”
Fred shook his head. “Okay?”
Brandon laughed. “Yeah, I know that okay feeling. It’s not pleasant.” He pulled out his phone. “A friend from college posted this on social yesterday.” He handed his phone to Fred as they exited the washroom.
On the screen was a picture of a happy bride and groom. “Zoe?”
Brandon nodded. “Guess that door is shut and never opening again.”
Zoe was the girl that Brandon had thought he was going to marry until she dumped him via a letter three months after their graduation.
“Aw, man, I’m sorry.”
“Me, too, but at least, I know for certain that she’s not meant to be mine.” He blew out a breath that was filled with sorrow.
“And that’s why you were up so late.”
Again, Brandon nodded. He was the sort who either spent a weekend in the woods or locked himself away with a project to process stuff.
He had always been that way. Even when they were kids, they all – except maybe for Henry – knew to leave Brandon alone to sort through whatever was in his mind and making him disagreeable.
The grumbling and glares would pass if he was given time and space.
“How do you do it?” They had reached the sanctuary doors, and on the other side of those doors, Fred would have to see Esther sitting with Steve.
“Do what?”
“Survive? I guess?”
“Just take one breath and then another. And pray.” Brandon gave Fred’s sleeve a tug to guide him to the side of the doorway towards the welcome center.
“Listen. It was bad for me, but I didn’t have to see her all the time.
I can’t possibly know how much worse that is, but bro…
” He shook his head. “Don’t just sit and wait.
Life doesn’t end because some girl has broken your heart.
I wish I had been willing to take that advice, but you know me.
I brood, and brooding works for my personality, but it’ll kill you.
You’re so not the brooding sort. Step back from things that involve her if you need to, but don’t brood. ”
There was that advice to step away again. But… wow, it seemed to be an impossible task. “I don’t know if I can,” he admitted to Brandon. “I mean, she’s been my other half, my partner in crime, for so long.” He shook his head. “And I love the worship team.”
“I’m not saying give it all up today. I’m saying be open to the possibility, and maybe try to find another partner in crime.” He held up his hands. “I know. I know. That doesn’t seem possible right now, but at least, consider it.”
Fred shook his head again. “I’ve tried. I’ve gone on a few coffee and lunch dates, but it hasn’t worked. I keep seeing how they aren’t her.” He lifted his shoulders and let them drop. “I might just have to face the fact that my calling is to be the cool bachelor uncle.”
“One of two,” Brandon agreed. “I get it. I really do, but I just can’t see you being single forever.”
“But you can see yourself that way?”
“Yeah, sure. I like solo camping trips and all that. You need people. I don’t so much.” He nodded toward the door. “Ready to head back in? I have an empty seat next to me, and it’s a row in front of and to the side of her. You could at least listen without the visual distraction from there.”
“Thanks, but I’ll stick with the back wall.”
“There are speakers in the youth room if you find you need to listen elsewhere.”
True. He hadn’t thought about that. “If I can’t tolerate it, I’ll duck out. Say, you won’t mention any of this to our other siblings, will you?”
“Nope. They can’t possibly understand. I mean, they each struggled to get where they are with their ladies, but it’s not the same.” He put his hand on Fred’s chest. “Have you ever told Esther how you feel?”
“I asked her to the hayride when we were in grade eleven.”
“Wow. Really?”
“She said no.”
“So you’ve been waiting already, huh? And I’m a bit late with my advice to not sit and wait?”
“A little. And again, only Eddie knows that.”
“I won’t say a word unless needed,” he replied with a wink. “Only Eddie knows? Not Gran?”
Fred chuckled. “As far as I know, this is one secret that Gran has yet to discover.”
“And now that you’ve said that…” Brandon opened the door.
“I know. I likely jinxed myself,” he whispered as they re-entered the auditorium.