Chapter 9
9
A couple of hours later, the party was in full flow. Customers and friends were all living it up. Bill was dancing with his wife in the corner, seemingly unaware of their surroundings as they slow danced to a song that no-one else could hear. It made Amber’s eyes sting watching them. Knowing their love triangle back story made it all the sweeter, and she couldn’t help but lament the fact that she might not ever get that. Bill had been married at twenty-five. She was already well behind in the game of love.
Prettiest woman I’ve ever seen.
Tyler’s words pierced through her thoughts, drowning them out. It was laughable really. Her best male friend, the man she’d come to rely on as a friend, the one who didn’t date, and he was the one who’d hit her with the one line she would take to her damn grave. She knew those words by heart now; her eyes had recorded the way he’d looked at her. The smouldering gaze he’d focused on her as if she was the only woman in the world. God, she’d still be thinking about that when she was eighty years old and sitting in an easy chair in her bed socks. Even then, it would keep her warm just to think of it. Just when she’d decided to go it alone, in every sense of the word. Just when she had decided that God and fate willing, she would be a mother by her next birthday. This night kinda sucked. She had everyone around her, but she still felt alone. Like someone up there was having a laugh. Sending her Tyler at a time when she couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Just like she and Bradley had been, they were on different paths. It wouldn’t be fair to stop Tyler from having his plans. As soon as he got the right job, he’d move on. What was she going to do: tell him she liked him, but wanted a kid? It wouldn’t be fair. She didn’t even know if he wanted kids. He’d never talked about wanting a girlfriend, so a baby was a bit of a far-fetched stretch.
‘Shazza.’ She nudged her friend and nearly toppled her off her bar stool. They were propping up the bar like a couple of middle-aged lushes. ‘How come people want different things all the time? I mean, whatever happened to just meeting someone, falling in love and making a life together, eh?’
Sharon stopped chewing on her straw. ‘Are you thinking about that knobhead? I knew something was eating you!’ She pounded her fist on the bar, missing and smacking herself on the thigh. ‘Ooh! I’m going to murder him. I was going to let it slide, but that’s it now. Upsetting you on your bloody birthday. I am going to murder him, and Tyler is going to chop him into teeny little bits in the kitchen, and then I’m going to stick those bits into a wood chipper and splat him. All over Sloane’s’ front window.’
‘Stay off the crime channel, Hannibal. It’s fine.’ She giggled at the vision of Brad, red misted all over his fancy restaurant front. ‘I’m not talking about Bradley. I just mean in general, you know. You make plans, and then some… thing comes along that you didn’t even see coming. But you can’t really have that… thing, but it’s all you can think about. And it’s so handsome and funny, and makes you feel things you forgot a person could feel, and it feels so nice, and comforting…’ When she looked across at her mate, Sharon’s jaw was dragging on the bar.
‘Some… thing, eh?’ She was trying to raise a sceptical brow, but with the tequila they’d enbibed, it was more of a gurn. ‘Does this something wear flannel and plan surprise parties?’
‘No.’ Amber winced. ‘And I’m not upset. Just philosophical. I’m having a great time!’
Sharon reached for her arm and swung her seat around to face the revellers. Now the karaoke session was over, which had been hilarious, the DJ was spinning discs, and most people were on the dance floor. The rest were all drinking and laughing, chatting in the buffet line. She smiled, watching them all. They’d all come for her. ‘Tell your face that then. Look at how much fun people are having! Everyone here loves the bones of you. I wish you could see that, and not get stuck in what ifs. New life, new year, remember?’ Leaning in, she added, ‘Go and talk to Tyler. Tell him what you just told me. You like him, and that’s okay, Amber! This is your year. Go get what you want for once.’
Did she want Tyler? God yes. She wanted to see what these feelings were. To see where he stood. What would be the harm? Technically, she wasn’t thirty yet. It was kismet. She could talk to him, see where the land lay. By the time she woke up tomorrow, she would know what to do. ‘You’re right,’ she finally said. She turned to face the bar, catching her reflection in the mirror behind the till. ‘Oh God,’ she exclaimed, seeing the panda eyes her mascara had left from rubbing her eyes. ‘I look like roadkill.’
Sharon reached into her purse, and a minute later, she was doing things to Amber’s face. Amber let her, sitting still like a child would while her mother cleaned her up. She let herself gaze off into the distance as Sharon brandished brushes and wands and wet wipes. If she stopped the voices in her head, the doubts, she knew tonight was perfect. A chance to gauge where they were at. Help her decision making. They needed to have this out, once and for all.
A movement from the back caught her eye. Tyler was just coming out of the kitchen, his homemade pizza cut into slices on the silver platter he was carrying. He chatted to a couple of people along the way to the buffet table, laughing as someone in the queue said something to him. He’d been milling around all night she realised, making sure the food was ready. Keeping his distance, something in her head spat out. Maybe he was confused too. He was still there though, her Tyler. Being all Tyler-like, taking care of people in his quiet, broody way. Checking everyone had a drink. Ben was working the bar tonight with his wife, Shayla, who was on the payroll and often helped out ad-hoc when they needed some extra staff and Mary couldn’t cover. The pair of them looked happy too, at home behind the polished wood as they served drinks and still seemed to be enjoying the festivities.
She saw Ty taking some empty trays back to the kitchen, and he winked at her when he caught her watching him. He disappeared through the kitchen doors, and she sighed involuntarily. The conversation they’d had in her office sprang into her head. All the little conversations they’d shared lately. If Ben hadn’t walked in that day, she would have confessed to the huge crush she’d had on him when they’d first met. Back when they first started working together at the Slug. Both still fresh faced and idealistic about their chosen vocations. Perhaps if they hadn’t become such fast friends, things might have been different. She’d thought he would never be interested, she remembered. He never seemed to string a sentence together when she tried to talk to him, and then she picked up on the fact he didn’t date. The way he rolled his eyes when Sharon mentioned him going on a date. She had often thought he just needed to meet the right person, but he never had. Once or twice, she thought she’d seen something behind that scrunched-up face of his, but then the cement set as friends. Good friends. A friend she couldn’t in all honesty live without.
So, she’d never said a word and the little flutters in her tummy had dissipated quickly as he became one of her best friends. One of her favourite people in the world, as it went, and Lord knows she didn’t have many of them. Still, in her semi-sozzled state, the sight of him in that peach shirt tonight had woken a butterfly or two. Who am I kidding? After that wink, his words earlier, the contents of her stomach were a lepidopterist’s wet dream.
‘Beautiful,’ Sharon suddenly announced, bringing her out of her daydream. Amber smiled at her before looking into the bar back at her reflection. Wow. She did look good. The panda eyed look was now a make-up artist level smoky eye. Her puffy eyes were hidden beneath plumped up, dark lashes, and her hair looked tousled and styled at the same time. She looked… great and, turning to her friend, she pulled her in for a hug. ‘Thanks mate, I love it.’
Sharon squeezed her back. ‘When you feel like shit, looking great on the outside helps. I’m going to check on the rabble, and then we are getting well and truly sloshed, birthday girl. Deal?’
She nodded, blinking hard against the grateful tears that threatened her perfect make-up. ‘Deal.’
Sharon slid off her stool and into the throng, leaving her alone with her thoughts. Bradley wouldn’t have fit in here. The thought hit her from nowhere. It was true though. When he did come into the pub, he didn’t make an effort with the customers. They were punters to him, she knew. He only sucked up to the wealthier set of his customers at Sloane’s. She’d seen it for herself first hand. The Slug clientele was more family than bread and butter. He would probably have spent half the night on his phone anyway. Tyler would have been there, on her arm. Giving her little kisses as they chatted to people. He’d have spoken to everyone, as he always did, not because they could be a tool to something better, but because he was generally interested in other people. He’d have been attentive. Maybe even got her a gift and given her it in front of everyone. He’d paid for a whole spa day and sworn Sharon to secrecy instead. Caring for her from the sidelines yet again. Right now, she wished that she’d been braver sooner. Realised what was in her kitchen all along. She had a prince for a best friend, and she’d spent a whole year kissing a damn frog.
‘I’m back.’ Sharon smiled, bringing her out of her daydream. She set a tray of shots on the bar, and Amber necked hers without hesitation. ‘All sorted. Everyone is happy, and I’ve told the DJ to not overdo the karaoke later. That first session made my ears bleed. Also,’ She smiled kindly, ‘I’ve told him no sappy love songs unless one of the regulars request them.’ Amber watched her friend scan her face. ‘Well, you look miserable from your expression, but your make-up is amazing.’
Amber couldn’t help but grin, checking herself out again in the mirror. ‘Not miserable, just thinking. I do look good. It actually suits me. And the dress.’
Sharon grinned. ‘You look good, right? I’ve wanted to give you a make-over for a while. Your bone structure is killer.’
‘What’s killer?’ Tyler appeared behind them, a whiff of his aftershave enveloping them. ‘The food’s all out, everything’s off. I thought I’d come for a drink. The clean down can wait ’til tomorrow.’ His eyes narrowed when he looked at her. ‘What’s up with your face? Hey! Don’t slap me!’ Sharon had swiped him on his tattooed arm. Amber could make out the peep of dark ink under his shirt cuff.
Sharon pulled a face. ‘Don’t be a dick, then! I gave her a little make-over! She looks good! Sexy!’
‘Yeah,’ Amber agreed, dropping her voice to sound sultry. ‘Sexy. ’
Tyler’s brown eyes bored into her. She tried to focus on them, but it was a bit too much effort.
‘I didn’t say I didn’t like it. I was referring to your Eeyore expression.’ His features hardened. ‘You’re drunk.’
‘Nope,’ Amber refuted, selecting a blue shot and beckoning Sharon to do the same. ‘But I will be soon!’
Tyler turned to Sharon. ‘What the hell happened? You were supposed to be watching her while I got the food done!’
Sharon shrugged, and Amber stuck out a rather blue-tinged tongue at him. ‘She was looking after the place. I don’t need a babysitter. Fine on my own, remember?’ Oops . Her nerves were mixing with the tequila and making her snarky.
She was pretty sure she heard Tyler curse under his breath but couldn’t be sure over the now pulsing dance music. His hand snaked out to grab the next shot before Amber necked it, but she was quicker.
‘Eugh, cinnamon!’ She gagged at the taste. Tyler appeared bar side and swept the rest of the shots out of the way. Ben and Shayla wisely kept their distance, shepherding the customers to the other end of the bar to be served. Tyler gave Ben a nod. God, he was annoyingly hot when he was being all protective. Always looking after things. Bleurgh. That shot was rank. ‘Tyler! Gimmethoseback!’
‘Nope.’ He placed a large glass of ice water in front of her. ‘Drink that. Sharon, don’t let her drink any more.’ He was looking over Amber’s head at something, and she turned her head to try to see what he was looking at. She could make out a couple of men-shaped blobs, both puffing their chests out at each other in an unmistakable ‘fight me’ way. ‘I won’t be a minute.’
‘And where is he going?’ Amber looked at Sharon, but she could see two of her. ‘I’m drunk,’ she stated unnecessarily. ‘Not a fun drunk, either.’ She rested her head on the bar top. ‘I just bit his head off, not a great start, eh? God, why is it so hard to tell someone you fancy them?’
Sharon wasn’t listening. She’d already wandered off. She thought she saw Tyler out of the corner of her eye. Shit. Did he hear that? Deciding that the water might not be a bad idea, Amber turned on her stool, watching everyone have fun around her. ‘Oh, that’s where you went.’ Sharon was sucking face with construction guy. She made a mental note to quiz her about him later. Sharon didn’t do relationships, but she seemed to be gravitating to this guy. The fact she hadn’t talked about him spoke volumes about it being something different. She looked away, feeling like a creep on a private moment. She people watched for a while, and when no-one seemed to notice her there, she headed upstairs. Tyler was nowhere to be seen and given that she was finding it hard to string a sentence together, perhaps that ‘talk’ would have to wait. The lack of food she’d eaten had mixed with the alcohol pretty quickly, and she needed a minute on her own. She had snacks upstairs, and a bottle of cheap Champagne she’d been saving for a special occasion in her fridge. Since it wasn’t her actual birthday for a few more hours, and her whole life seemed banal, she figured it was time to open the sucker. The new year, new me stuff could wait just a little longer.