Chapter 10
10
‘So that’s where you got to.’ Tyler found her a few hours later, laptop and half empty bottle of Champagne open on the coffee table. He nudged her legs, which were currently hanging over the end of the couch. ‘Shift up.’
She groaned, turning to sit properly as he flumped down next to her. ‘How’s the party going? It’s been pretty quiet.’
Tyler nodded to her stereo, which was currently playing her favourite best of the nineties playlist. ‘Well, I’m surprised you could hear it over the blasts from the pasts you’ve been playing.’
She poked him in the ribs. ‘Hey, you love this playlist! Don’t think I don’t hear you using it in the kitchen.’
‘Damn you, shared Spotify account!’ He shook a fist dramatically. ‘Everyone went home. Sharon says she’ll come give you a hand in the morning. Just give her a ring.’ He chuckled to himself. ‘Hey, I think she took that building-site guy home, you know?’
‘Never!’ Amber gasped. ‘Back to hers? She never does that!’
‘I know. I think she might actually like this guy.’
‘Wow,’ Amber breathed, sitting back against the cushions. ‘Even Sharon’s moving on with her life. Nice. ’
She felt Tyler’s arm come around her, and she leaned into him automatically.
‘You’ve had a bad couple of months. That doesn’t mean your life’s crappy, Amber.’
‘Doesn’t it? I mean, what else is going right exactly? I don’t have the pub; I still live and work here?—’
‘Hey! It’s not so bad here, right?’ He turned her to look at him. ‘It’s just a bad day, Ambs, not a bad life. You make this place. The regulars come here because of you, the atmosphere. The brewery know that, deep down. You’re only young still, plenty of time for your five-year plan.’
‘Not all of it,’ she muttered. ‘I might not have many eggs left to put in my basket.’
‘What?’
‘Nothing. I suppose you’re right really, and tonight was great. Everyone I love under the same roof, getting on and having fun.’
‘You did have that; all of your friends left gifts and cards. When you disappeared, they were all concerned. I had to strong arm half of them out the door.’
‘They are pretty great, aren’t they. Thanks for tonight, Ty.’ He shrugged, but she covered his hand with hers. ‘I mean it. It’s nice knowing I have you looking out for me.’
‘Always.’ He grinned. ‘And, for the record, I’m glad that you’re not with Bradley any more.’
Amber swallowed. Not as glad as I am right now. ‘We were too different. I should have seen it a long time ago, but, when you want something to work out, it’s easy to ignore the alarm bells.’
His jaw clenched. ‘He never saw what he had, Amb. You need a partner in life, not someone who only makes time for you when he feels like it. He should have been there. Done more to show you how special you are. ’
‘I don’t think a guy like that exists in real life.’ Yes, he does, and he makes a damn fine pastry.
‘Of course he does,’ Tyler refuted before she’d even finished her sentence. ‘Trust me, there’s a guy out there who would worship the fucking ground you walk on. Who would move heaven and earth to give you what you want. What you need. A guy who wouldn’t have you sitting alone at your own damned birthday party. He would make sure you knew exactly what you were worth to him, and everyone you love. No man would ever hurt you again once he knew you were his. No-one would get near you, Amb. A guy like that would make it his one fucking mission in life to make you smile every single day. A man who would never stop making sure your body and mind both knew how beautiful you are, inside and out.’
Wow. She didn’t want him to stop talking. She wanted to hear more about this guy Tyler knew so much about, but the air was already thick with his declaration. And that’s what it had sounded like. It wasn’t some casual conversation. What he had just told her felt like a solemn vow from someone who’d thought a whole lot about the subject. Someone who sounded like the perfect person to have in your corner. The longer she sat in stunned silence, the tenser she felt his body become around her. ‘Well,’ she said, clearing her throat when the word came out as a raspy croak. ‘Maybe I should hold out for him, then.’ She was still in the nook of his arm, his muscled bicep enveloping her.
‘Yeah, maybe you should. Maybe he was an idiot for not speaking up sooner.’ He paused and Amber couldn’t breathe. As if all the air had been sucked out of the room. ‘I never thought Bradley was good enough for you.’
It was her turn to stiffen. ‘I still remember him in the beginning,’ she confessed. ‘He was kinda that guy you’re describing.’
‘He’s nothing like the guy I’m describing,’ Tyler spat back, his whole chest rumbling with the conviction of his retort. He sat up, pulling her with him. Grasping her gently by the chin to turn her to him. ‘Don’t you get it, Amber? You’re the fucking prize. Nothing else comes close.’
With her eyes locked onto his like this, seeing the want and need swirling in those irises was unavoidable. This was another moment between them, she knew. Another step that blurred the lines between friendship and… whatever this was. Lust? Want? More?
She’d thought about him naked before, but the curiosity was freed by the alcohol. Zipping to the surface. She wondered what his tattoos would taste like under her tongue. What he was packing under his drawstring chequered chef’s trousers. They’d been swimming together before. She still dined out on the memory of that bulge in his swim shorts as they’d mucked about splashing each other in the water. The way he’d said he’d be out after another couple of lengths. She’d wondered at the time if he was really waiting for his own length to cool down, but then in the car on the way home, it was business as usual. Mates hitting the burger drive thru and talking about the merits of burger relish over ketchup. There was so much in her head, so much to say to him. To ask. She wanted to comb through the last few years and ask him everything she’d wondered about over their friendship. The times he’d said little things, done little things for her. She wanted to know what made Tyler Williams’ heart beat in his chest. What came out was something she never expected.
‘I want a baby.’
He was so still at first, she started to doubt she’d said it aloud. His eyes crinkled in the corners, his determined stare turning to a bemused grin, before it fell away to nothing but confusion.
‘What? ’
She licked at her lips, trying to get some moisture back in her mouth.
‘I… I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Years, actually. With the break-up and everything, I’ve been thinking about how much time I’ve wasted.’
She watched as he looked to the ceiling, saw the column of his throat work as he swallowed. ‘I didn’t know you and Bradley were at that point.’
‘We weren’t, not really. We talked about it in the beginning, but that was all it was. Talk, I mean. Now I’m single, I don’t want to wait any more.’
‘I… don’t think I understand. You’re thirty. You have plenty of time.’
‘That’s the point, though.’ She smiled ruefully. ‘I don’t want to wait. It’s 2024. I realised I don’t have to. I could just do it, and once the idea was in my head, I can’t get it out. I could do it. The Arms, have a baby. I don’t want to look back later and have regrets.’ His brown eyes were searching her face, but it was one of those rare times that she couldn’t read him. ‘Haven’t you ever thought about it? Having a family?’
‘No.’ No hesitation there. ‘Not for a long time.’
‘What changed?’ she asked, feeling her heart break. I mean, what were you expecting? Him to offer up his bloody sperm? She felt stupid. Her Champagne-loose tongue had scared the shit out of him. They hadn’t even kissed, for God’s sake. They hadn’t even laid their cards on the table about what they were to each other. Still, the biological ticking clock wasn’t something she could hit the snooze button on. Even for the man in front of her. He knew now. It was out there. ‘Was it because of your ex?’
‘That was a lifetime ago,’ he muttered. She felt something shift between them, fall away. His jaw clenched tight, fingers sliding away from her chin. He turned away, hands dropping to rest on his lap as he hung his head. She mourned the loss of his heat as he pulled away from her, and the moment. ‘It’s late. I should go. I’ll be in early for the clean-up.’
‘Ty, I?—’
The feeling of helplessness grew with each step he took away from her. Even in their close proximity, she’d never felt as far from him as she did right now. The space between them was an ache, tangible in her chest. He paused in the doorway, his fists clenching at his sides. ‘You know, sometimes I really regret being your friend. I regret a lot of things I can’t seem to take back.’ His eyes flashed with something she’d not seen before. Resignation? Pain. Then it was gone. ‘Drink some water, please.’
‘Tyler.’
He shook his head, a small smile not quite hitting his lips. ‘I’m good, Amber. Don’t worry about me. I just want you to be happy. To get what you want in life. Drink that water.’ He went to leave but turned back at the last minute. ‘Happy birthday, Cherry. You really did look beautiful tonight. You always do to me. Sleep tight.’
She sat there, sobering up as she listened for him leaving. When the back door closed behind him, she finally let out the breath she’d been holding. He’d called her Cherry again. It had been a while since he’d used his nickname for her freely as he did now, in honour of the cherry Danish he had started making, just because she’d told him it was her favourite. Now he used it all the time, and she loved the sound of it. Waited for his lips to utter it daily. She was so restless right now, sitting there in Tyler’s wake. She could smell his aftershave on her clothing. It lingered like his parting words. The look on his face when she’d told him what she wanted. Did she really expect anything different? What kind of man would have any other response, really? They weren’t even together. Sure, she liked him. A lot, but it was new, and fragile. If she was going to do this, she needed to go all in. Make the smart choices and, at least this way, it was easier. Tyler didn’t want kids. Hell, he’d practically run out of the place at the thought. Maybe his ex had done a bigger number on him then she’d imagined. What was her name again? Lauren? Laurel? He never spoke about her, apart from alluding to the fact that the break-up had been messy.
Either way, it didn’t matter now. He’d gone, and she hadn’t changed her mind about her plans in the last half hour. She couldn’t go on like this. She knew she wouldn’t sleep. There was no chance of that, with her mind whirring. Looking at the clock on the shelf, she saw it was just after midnight.
‘Well,’ she said to the empty room. ‘Happy fecking birthday to me.’ When she spotted her laptop, she took a swig of water, and fired it up. She was going to hit her thirties running.
Opening up her business plan, she read through what she had written months ago. It was pretty good; even with her tequila goggles on, she could see it was going to be hard for the bank to turn down. She felt excited, until she decided to read her emails. There was one from the council and, when she opened it up, her heart sank. When her grandmother had passed, her friend Denise, who worked in the planning department, had pulled her aside at the funeral and told her that she would do anything she could to make sure that the Arms would be there waiting when she was ready.
She read the words over and over, willing them to make sense, to disappear.
So happy to hear you’re finally doing it, but I was surprised that you don’t plan to keep it as a pub. I’m sure your grandmother would be happy, either way. An eatery sounds swish! Good luck to you and Bradley! Planning don’t have a meeting until the end of August, so I’ll be in touch. Remember, you didn’t hear it from me .
Have a great birthday!
Love, Denise
‘What the… Bradley is going after the Arms?’
She read it over and over, wracking her brain. Why the hell would he do this? They had never talked about the Arms being anything but hers. She thought back to the last few months. His pulling away, furtive phone calls. He’d been struggling to find a good venue for a while, wanting something in the heart of Hebblestone. Well, he’d obviously found it. He’d strung her along until he got the planning go ahead. Once he had that, the investors would pony up the money… and the Arms would be his.
She thought of his face when she’d given him an ultimatum. The way he’d walked away so easily. Talked of things he couldn’t pull back on. He’d just assumed she’d go along with it, because she’d listened to him about holding off on her plans.
‘He… played me. He strung me along ’til it was too late.’ He’d never cared what she wanted. He’d just looked at the Arms as an opportunity. For him. ‘God, I took him there. I’m so stupid!’
Pulling up a fresh email, she clicked on his address and started typing.
This is war, Sloane.