23. Sarah
SARAH
Doran and I stood together at the edge of the landing area, waiting.
We’d returned from the general store, and I’d frosted the cake.
The lettering had come out wonky as my hands wouldn’t stop trembling, but that was alright as I never could write with a frosting bag very well to begin with.
Kaelor, Darren, and Tarek had returned to the house and we’d all eaten sandwiches Doran replicated for our lunch.
I couldn’t tell you what was on them, as I’d eaten them distractedly.
Something with cheese. Ham, probably. Then Nicky had sent the boys home so they could meet my kids, and things got a little chaotic before Darren settled their sons down to watch some Scooby Doo and put Laura in her playcenter.
I’d only had a moment to catch my breath and breathe it seemed, before Bob messaged us.
The shuttle was in-system and coming in to land.
Doran and I hurried out the door then, walking as fast as we could to the nearby spaceport, as the flitter wasn't big enough to hold us, three kids, and my parents too.
The spaceport was quiet in the strange way it often was between ships.
The enormous open hangar behind us served as customs, warehousing, passenger arrivals, and half a dozen other things New Haven hadn't yet needed separate buildings for.
Beyond it, the settlement of Walnut Grove stretched toward the fields, bright green beneath the unfamiliar sky.
Had it really been such a short time before that I’d first seen this place for myself?
It felt like longer, somehow, and I knew it was because I felt a sense of belonging here that had always been missing from my life as an adult.
I wondered how my children and parents would perceive this wonderful place, and if they’d take to it as readily as I had.
I hoped so, the children anyway. My parents weren’t going to live here, after all.
I kept looking up, squinting up into the teal coloured sky.
“They should be here soon,” Doran said. “Bob will put on the landing conversation on loudspeaker.”
“I know.” I'd said those words so many times over the past half hour that they had stopped meaning anything.
Soon. They'd be here soon. My children would be here soon. No, our children. I smiled, glancing up at my handsome mate. Emma had called him Daddy already, something she’d ceased referring to Harold as for three years now.
If she talked about him at all, she simply referred to him as ‘father’ in the most generic of senses.
He’d done that, wrecked his relationship with his children.
Not me. And it didn’t matter anymore, as now they had Doran and he was Daddy.
I clasped my hands together, then unclasped them again. Doran glanced down at me.
“You're still nervous.”
I gave him a look.
“I'm terrified.”
He smiled faintly.
“So am I.”
I looked up at him.
“You're terrified?”
“I'm meeting our kits for the first time after only speaking to them via comm a grand total of three times.”
That made something warm flicker through the knot in my chest.
“You've already met them on the screen during our video calls.”
“That isn't the same. Screens aren't people. It hits different when they’re in the flesh in front of you”
“That’s true. You’re way hotter in person.”
He laughed. “As were you and you still are, but let’s not get ourselves riled up like that right now.” He took my hand. “I want them to like me for me, and not the idea of getting a father.”
I squeezed his fingers. “They'll like you.”
“You don't know that.”
“I do.”
“How?”
“Because you're you. So, how can they not? And look at Darren and Tarek’s kids. They adore you. And Sweetie. She adores you, and I’ll have you know that dogs are excellent judges of character.”
He smiled.
“And besides,” I added, “you have wings.”
“That helps?”
“With five-year-olds? Probably. With eight-year-old boys? Definitely. And Emma already loves you. She wouldn’t be calling you Daddy otherwise. Thirteen year olds are very selective. You made her feel safe from light years away when she commed us after my mother pulled her little stunt.”
He nodded gravely.
“And your mother?”
The knot returned. That was a million dollar question, one we’d only get the answer to once they’d arrived.
“I honestly don't know.”
Doran's thumb moved slowly across the back of my hand.
“You don't have to forgive her today.”
“I know.”
“You don't have to pretend everything is fine.”
“I know.”
“But she's still your mother, and I know you’re hoping to make peace with her.”
I looked at him. He was angry with her, too.
I knew that. I'd seen it in his face as we’d listened to Emma’s frantic voice comm.
He understood what she'd done wasn't some minor family disagreement.
She'd taken my children and driven away with them because she'd been angry about my choices.
And he knew the hurt a self absorbed set of parents caused, as his were no better.
Maybe worse, in some ways, actually. Yet he was still trying to make room for peace in his hearts, for me.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“New Haven Spaceport to incoming Mylos shuttle. Please identify,” Bob's voice came over the spaceport comms
The reply came through a moment later, slightly distorted by the atmospheric interference.
“Mylos long-range shuttle to New Haven. This is Star Dancer. We have five passengers and personal cargo. Requesting landing clearance.”
“Copy that,” Bob said. “Before I can clear you to land, I am required to perform a standard security joke.”
There was a pause. Doran looked at me. I grinned up at him. This was it.
“I was warned about this,” we heard the pilot sigh.
Bob continued, undeterred. “Knock knock.”
The pilot hesitated. Then, cautiously, “Who's there?”
“Cargo.”
“Cargo who?”
“Cargo beep-beep. Cargo vroom-vroom. Cargo landing now.”
There was a beat of silence. Then the pilot laughed. A real laugh. It crackled through the speaker. “All right, New Haven. You got me,” the pilot managed to gasp.
I shook my head. The joke hadn’t been that funny, but to each their own.
“Excellent,” Bob replied. “Humor verification successful. You are cleared to land.”
“Copy that. Beginning descent.”
“Welcome to New Haven. And please remember: no parking on the blue-green grass. Use the prepared landing pad by following the beacon.”
“Landing beacon locked on,” the pilot confirmed.
The shuttle appeared moments later, and it was an awe inspiring sight.
I never got tired of watching the ships come in; that was for sure.
The Mylos long-range shuttle looked like a silver saucer, a much larger version than the ones they typically used to land on Earth.
It descended directly onto the ground outside the hangar, its strangely silent engines sending a deep vibration I could feel all the way over here under my feet.
Dust swept outward in a wide ring as the enormous vessel settled onto the landing area, stopping to hover a mere foot off the ground.
Doran's hand tightened around mine. “They're here.”
I nodded, finding I suddenly couldn't speak.
For several seconds nothing happened, and then the hatch opened. The ramp extended, and suddenly I could see people moving inside. Emma stepped onto the ramp, and I felt my heart skip a beat as she paused halfway down. I knew the minute she saw us.
“Mama!”
She ran towards us, arms outstretched. I didn't even realize I'd moved until she crashed into me. I caught her and wrapped both arms around her.
“Oh, sweetheart.”
She clung to me. “I missed you,” she whispered.
“I missed you too.”
She pulled back.
Her eyes were wet.
“I wish we’d come with you.”
“I know. I really wished that too, but we didn’t know the house was going to be ready, and you wanted to say goodbye to your friends and have that sleepover.”
“But you were scared too, right? When Grandma left with Caleb and Lucy.”
“Yes.” I didn't lie to her. “I was very scared.”
She swallowed. “So was I.”
“You're here now.”
“Yes.”
“I've got you. We’ve both got you.”
I pulled back. At my words, she’d already moved to look past me to where Doran stood a few feet away. He looked more nervous than I'd ever seen him.
She let go of me, rushing to give him a hug. “Daddy! I’m so glad you’re here and are our Dad now.”
“Mommy!”
I crouched down to catch my sweet little Lucy as she ran towards me, clutching a doll against her chest.
She wrapped her arms around my neck.
“I missed you!”
“I missed you too, baby.”
“I missed you this much.”
She squeezed me as hard as she could.
“I missed you more.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No!”
I laughed.
It was the first real laugh I'd managed in days.
Then Lucy pulled away.
“Look!”
She held up the doll she'd been clutching.
I stared. It was a Holly Hobby.
“It used to be Grandma's,” Lucy explained.
My gaze went automatically toward the shuttle.
“Grammie gave her to me,” Lucy continued.
I touched the doll's little dress.
“She did?”
Lucy nodded.
“She said I was old enough to take care of her. And she’s wearing a prairie dress and hat!”
Lucy noticed Doran then.
Doran and Emma approached, and Doran dropped into a crouch.
“Hello, Lucy.”
She looked at me.
“He’s really big,” she whispered. “Bigger than the Mylos even maybe.”
He and I both laughed.
“Are you really a dragon?”
Doran's eyebrows lifted.
I bit my lip, shoulders shaking in amusement.
He shrugged.
Lucy considered him carefully, then stepped closer to him.
“Do you have a tail?”
Doran glanced over his shoulder.
“I do.”
“Can I see?”
He turned slightly.
Lucy studied his tail with great seriousness.
Then she nodded.
“And wings?”
He let them out.
“Okay.”
I laughed.
Doran looked at me.
“I think that went well,” I told him.
“Pick me up,” Lucy demanded, having decided he was now indeed hers, and he obliged. She already had him wrapped around her little finger for sure.
Then Caleb was there, wrapping his arms around me.
“Mama!” was all he said before he broke out in tears that I knew he’d want us all to forget about later.
“You all right?” I asked him once he’d calmed down