Chapter Nineteen #2
“Then what is it?” Joey flopped into his chair and stared at the floor.
When he lifted his head, his eyes blazed with a clarity Mei had never seen before.
“You’re a liar, Mei. All this time, you’ve been lying by omission, never giving me a clue you didn’t want to get married.
Did you ever talk to Ali about this? Kathy? ”
“Just Ali. Today.”
“Today!” Joey threw his hands up. “Wow, Mei. You’re an even bigger liar than I thought.
You go through life pretending everything is perfect.
You’re always like, ‘Ali and I are so close, we tell each other everything!’ ” Joey sang in a high-pitched, mocking voice.
“Well, guess what? You don’t tell Ali jack shit! ”
Hurt washed over Mei. Yet, a tiny part of her was impressed. Joey knew her better than she gave him credit for. Then his eyes narrowed. Oh no.
“Luc’s brother.”
Mei flushed. “What about him?”
Joey slapped the arm of his chair, making her jump. “Did you fuck him?”
“No!”
“You never fucked him? Or kissed him? Not during that cozy hurricane weekend you spent together?”
“No! I swear, nothing happened!”
“But you wish something did.”
Mei looked away before she could stop herself.
“Fucking hell.” Joey chuckled to himself. “That’s why you’re doing this.”
“Joey, no. That’s not true.” She still couldn’t sort out her feelings for Alexandre, but they weren’t at the root of her problems with Joey.
He, however, didn’t see it that way. “Fuck! I can’t believe you’re leaving me for him!”
“I’m not! That’s not it at all!”
“Yes, it is! You’re ruining everything we have so you can fuck Le fucking Prof!”
Mei watched helplessly as he sobbed.
“How could you do this, Mei? How could you?”
“This has nothing to do with Alexandre.” Tears streamed down Mei’s face. She reached for Joey’s shoulder, but he shook her off.
“I almost feel bad for Le Prof, that pretentious prick. You’re going to take him down, too. You and your lies. And how’s that going to play out with your dear little sister—your best friend in the whole world—and her perfect family?”
“Joey. Stop. No.”
“Maybe my problem was that I loved you too much. I only saw the best in you. That’s what happens when you love someone, right?
I ignored how you wanted to change me to be more like you.
Well, you know what? At least I know who I am.
Your whole life is a fucking lie. All you do is hide from the truth.
No one knows you, and no one ever will. Not even you, Mei. ”
Lava-hot shame burned through Mei’s body. Was Joey right? Was that who she was? Mei lunged for him, but he walked to the door and shoved his feet into his sneakers. When he looked up, his face was so anguished, Mei’s heart ripped in two.
“Well, godspeed to Le Prof.” Joey roughly wiped his eyes. “You’re going to destroy him. Ali, Luc, and Kaia, too. Just like you’ve fucking ruined me.”
Through her tears, Mei watched, frozen, as her ex-fiancé walked out and slammed the door.
· · ·
For the rest of the day, and all through the weekend, Mei holed up in Ali’s hotel room.
At every moment, someone—Ali, Luc, her mom, or Henry—was by her side, reminding her she’d made the right decision and that the pain would pass.
Still, every second was excruciating. A thousand knives ripped her apart as she pictured Joey packing his stuff and moving to his parents’ house on what was supposed to be their wedding day.
Meanwhile, her phone buzzed nonstop as friends, family, wedding vendors, and Livin colleagues called, texted, and emailed.
Kathy: Love you, Mei. I’m here anytime you want to talk. Just say the word and I’ll fly back to see you.
Beauty by Veronica: Mei, darling, I was so sad to receive the update from your sister. I’ll only charge 75% of my wedding makeup fee. You can Venmo me at @beautybyvero.
Evie: Sending you so much love! I don’t want to speak out of turn, but I think this is for the best. You’ll find the right person and he’ll be way better. XOXO.
James: My condolences about your called-off wedding. Given the circumstances, will you still be taking off the next two weeks? PS: We can talk about your possible promotion when you’re back.
Alexandre: Mei, I’m thinking of you. This will be a difficult time, but you chose yourself, and you’ll be happier. I’m always here, anytime you want to talk.
Mei couldn’t bring herself to respond to anyone but James. She sent him a quick email saying she’d update him in a few days.
· · ·
Ali tried to talk Mei out of moving—she didn’t need that stress on top of everything else. But Mei couldn’t imagine staying in that apartment one day longer.
With her savings account hemorrhaging from paying off the entire non-wedding and honeymoon by herself, then breaking her lease, Mei could no longer afford to return to her beloved Upper West Side, or anywhere in Manhattan.
Thanks to an extraordinarily low inventory, all her options were in Queens, and not particularly appealing: a minuscule place in Sunnyside with a cardboard box suspiciously taped to the ceiling.
A basement-level Jackson Heights apartment with windows that opened onto the building’s dumpster.
An Astoria studio with water-stained ceilings, slanted floors, and a parallelogram-shaped living space.
She went with the Astoria studio. Her desperation to move outweighed her distaste of renting an apartment reminiscent of the one she grew up in.
· · ·
Mei returned to Livin on Thursday. Going to work beat crying all day in her depressing apartment.
Once her laptop came to life, Mei sighed with relief at her familiar routine. Then her meetings began. In each one, Mei smiled bravely and accepted her colleagues’ sympathetic words. Afterward, she ran to the nearest bathroom to pull herself together.
The sheer volume of her goals hit her. The fiery rush that normally fueled her failed to ignite. Fatigue paralyzed her every time she looked at the endless strategy decks, campaign designs, media plans, videos, and event scripts she needed to tackle.
She was operating at a fraction of her normal speed, so she worked more than ever.
Ninety-two hours one week. Ninety-four the next.
She canceled weekend plans to see Ali and Luc, and her mom and Henry.
Instead, they took turns driving to the city and bringing her food from her favorite restaurants: dim sum from Chinatown, bagels and lox from Russ and Daughters.
Mei picked at the food while silently willing them to leave.
Holding herself together took so much energy. And she had so much work to do.
Despite her efforts, for the first time since she’d started at Livin, Mei wasn’t one of the top three marketing employees.
The October rankings placed her twelfth.
Upon seeing her new standing, Mei had the urge to go home, curl up in bed, and cry.
But she didn’t. She could edit a strategy deck in that time.
· · ·
Every week or two, Alexandre reached out.
How are you feeling? I hope each day is a little better.
Hi Mei. I was remembering what we talked about during the hurricane. You’ve overcome so much and you’ll get through this, too.
He also called three times.
Each time Mei saw Alexandre’s name on her phone, she froze. She could talk to him. He, more than anyone else, knew what she was going through. Mei longed for Alexandre’s calm words, his thoughtful eyes intent on her when she spoke.
Then Joey’s face appeared in her mind. You’re ruining everything we have so you can fuck Le fucking Prof!
Mei let Alexandre’s calls go to voicemail. She waited a day or two before texting him back.
Thanks for thinking of me! I’m actually doing pretty well. Just super busy.
· · ·
On the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, James called a marketing all-hands. The New York team crammed into Livin’s boardroom and video-conferenced the regional teams.
At the front of the room, James was actually smiling as he spoke to a cheerful young woman. A new exec? Mei wondered, studying the woman’s sleek blowout, cashmere sweater, and tailored trousers. Nah, too young. She looked to be in her early thirties, tops.
James called the room to attention. “I’m pleased to introduce Erika Fairchild, our new VP of brand marketing.
” The woman beside him grinned. “She officially starts in January, but we couldn’t wait to share the news.
Erika comes to us from Vigor, the at-home workout system you all use and love.
I’ve been trying to woo her away since August, and she finally said yes! ”
Mei stared at James. Since August. The month they’d first spoken about the job. So he’d never considered her for it. He’d just made her think so to keep her churning out work at an insane pace, despite everything she’d been going through.
Around her, people murmured excitedly. Mei got it. Vigor was a hot brand.
“I’d like to thank Mei Li for keeping the lights on,” James said. “Now Mei and her team will report to Erika—and with Erika’s leadership, we can finally show the world what real brand marketing is.”
Mei smiled tightly as all eyes turned to her.
After the meeting, Mei researched her new boss.
Erika Fairchild had been Vigor’s director of marketing for a year.
Previously, she’d been a brand manager at a once-hot athleisure startup whose cachet had plummeted following revelations of a body-shaming work culture.
Before that, she’d been a marketing coordinator at the telecom company where James had worked. She was five years younger than Mei.
· · ·
For Thanksgiving, Henry had offered to drive down and pick up Mei from the city.
She’d declined. She could work better on the train.
Surprise new boss or not, Livin’s holiday campaign still launched the day after Thanksgiving, and Mei had to oversee the pop-up experiences in twenty cities, plus the mountain of ads, videos, email campaigns, and partnerships that would roll out through the end of the year.