18. Asher
Asher
Ireally thought that after I got a taste of Rae, I’d be able to move on. That I wouldn’t care to see her again, and could continue on with my life without having the tie to my past. But that’s the exact opposite of what happened.
Instead of making it easier to not think about her, and leave it alone, I’ve just wanted to see her again. I don’t know what it is, other than the undeniable sexual chemistry between us, I just enjoyed being around her. She’s not how I thought she was.
I expected her to be confident, conceited, and maybe a little uppity. But she’s not. She’s confident, but not like how she is on stage, commanding the entire room. She just wants to exist without the attention on her. And she’s more down to Earth than I expected.
Everything about her surprised me. Including how much I wanted her. How much I still want her.
I haven’t seen her since that night because she’s said she’s holed up writing music, which is fine. The next time I see her I want to be able to use both my arms and not have the sling in the way. She probably doesn’t even realize that what we did wasn’t even half of what I’m capable of.
That’s also why I wouldn’t let her touch me, even though I wanted her to and I fucked my hand so hard once I got back home. I knew if she touched me I would need to fuck her and I couldn’t do everything I want to like this.
I’m not a patient man, but I’m having to be. And I don’t like it.
My doctor referred me to a physical therapist, but they can’t get me in for another couple weeks. I resorted to looking up exercises myself to do at home, and also working out the rest of my body to the point of over-exhaustion just to give myself something to do.
I’ve thought about getting a job at a gym, but I feel like it’ll only piss me off more to see everyone else getting to do what I enjoy while I have to sit back and watch.
The whole reason I came back here in the first place was to avoid that.
I have enough money saved up from my professional fights that will tide me over, but having nothing to do is starting to wear me down.
That’s when I reached out to Rae as a distraction. It worked, for a little. But I need to see her again. My patience is wearing thin and I need her again.
I need more of her.
Asher
I can’t stop thinking of the way you taste.
There’s no point in beating around the bush. I know what I want, and what I want is her.
Rae doesn’t reply right away, and I assume she’s still lost in her music. I do look at the unanswered text from Audrey inviting me to see her and Charlie. I’m so bored, and so out of my mind, that I finally reply to her.
Asher
Does this invite still stand?
Audrey
As long as you aren’t a dick it does.
I chuckle. I’ll never admit it to her that I enjoy when we have what feels like normal sibling banter.
It’s something that makes me feel like our situation isn’t as fucked up as it is.
My sister has always had a dry sense of humor.
And sometimes she seems a little too cold.
But also, I didn’t exactly want to listen to her when I was a teenager.
Which lead to quite a few conflicts between the two of us, and it carried into adulthood. We’re both stubborn, but that’s not going to change.
Asher
No promises.
Audrey
Great, be here at six.
I get to Audrey and Charlie’s place; they live in the penthouse of an extremely nice condo building in Denver.
It’s the same one I moved into at fifteen and hated it the second I stepped foot in it.
I knew I was walking into a world I didn’t belong in.
Even now, I don’t belong here, but the difference is I don’t care.
And I can leave and go back to my tiny apartment, the life I’m meant to have. Not the fake privilege that surrounds me.
The doorman lets me up right away because he’s known me for years.
As I take the elevator up to the top, I realize I probably should’ve brought something, but then I remember it’s my sister and she doesn’t expect that.
The door dings, opening up to the large condo. Charlie rounds the corner, greeting me. “Hey, how’s it going?” He looks at my sling. “Clearly not the best, I guess.”
I huff; I’ve always liked Charlie. He’s quiet, but nice. He balances my sister out in a good way. He used to play for the Denver Dragons, but was never one of the showboat types. We’ve gotten along, even when Audrey and I would fight, he never made me feel shitty about anything.
“Nope, I’d definitely say it’s not the best.”
“I know of some really good PTs I can get you in contact with if you need,” he suggests.
“I just might take you up on that.”
“Asher, is that you?” Audrey calls from another room.
“Nope,” I call back, while walking with Charlie to wherever she is.
She gives me an unimpressed look. “Oh baby bro, I’ve missed you.” She looks down at my arm. “What happened?”
“I’d really like to walk into a room and the first question not have to do with my arm.”
“Well, when you walk in without an explanation to see people you’ve hardly spoken to in a couple years, then there’s bound to be questions,” she deadpans.
“Wow, you know with this warm greeting it’s a wonder why I haven’t been in contact much.”
“We made steaks,” Charlie announces, diverting the attention away from our bickering. Something he did a lot when I lived with them.
“Thanks man.”
“Are you really not going to say what happened to your arm?” Audrey questions.
“Maybe if you asked nicely I would.”
Audrey scoffs, but Charlie intercepts again by offering plates to serve up dinner.
We all end up around their dining table, an awkward silence falling over us, the only sound is clinking of forks and knives on the plate.
“Asher,” Charlie speaks up. “What brought you back to Denver?”
“Just some down time and didn’t want to spend it in Oregon.”
“Down time recovering from an injury you told no one about,” Audrey mumbles.
“I’m sorry, was someone talking? I couldn’t hear.” I look from Charlie to my sister.
She sighs, setting her silverware down and glaring at me. Sometimes I wonder if the reason they chose not to have kids was because of me. I know it’s not the case because Audrey said they made the decision before I moved in, but I still wonder.
“How have you been?” she finally asks.
I shrug. “I’ve been better, feels weird to be back,” I tell her honestly. I think about bringing up Rae, but I don’t want to open that door because I know how Audrey can be. She won’t let it go.
“Well, you could’ve said something sooner,” she grumbles.
“Asher, do you need anything else?” Charlie speaks up because I’m sure he can feel the tension.
“My sister to stop giving me shit would be great, actually.”
Charlie sighs.
“What’s your deal?” Audrey snaps.
“Nothing. I’m here, just fucking with you.”
“That’s obvious.” She shakes her head. “Why do you hate it here so much? I’d say life with us was pretty damn good for you.”
“Yeah, well life before you guys was pretty damn shit.”
The room is quiet. We never talk about our pasts, what we each went through with our parents and then our grandma. It’s not worth talking about, especially when it’s clear Audrey’s life turned out just fine. Mine may too, but no matter what I’ll always be fucked up from everything I went through.
“I know it was,” she agrees softly.
It’s quiet again, and this time I don’t like it. I push back from the table. “I should go.”
“No,” Audrey calls out. “We want you to stay.”
I look at Charlie, feeling bad he’s always been caught in the middle of the two of us.
“Dessert anyone?” he offers, and it actually helps dissipate some of the tension that’s surrounded us.
Everything feels calmer after that, and for the first time in I don’t know how long, I actually enjoy spending time with them. We don’t talk about anything too serious because that’s when Audrey and I tend to get into it a bit more.
As I’m sitting on the couch, dying to stretch my arm out because it’s feeling a bit more stiff than usual, I get a text and practically shoot up to my feet when I see it’s Rae.
Rae
What’re you doing?
Asher
At Audrey’s. What’re you doing?
Rae
At the studio.
Asher
In LA?
“Who’re you texting?” Audrey nudges me as she walks past to sit back on the couch with a fresh cup of coffee she just got for herself and Charlie.
“No one,” I mumble.
Rae
No, here in Denver. It’s a private one my mom used to use a lot. Want to see it?
Asher
Tell me where, I’ll be there.
“A girl?” my sister goads, and I shake my head, tucking my phone into my pocket.
“Nope, but I’m going to head out, thanks for dinner.”
“Yeah, sure, you’re not going to meet a girl,” she rolls her eyes sarcastically. “I wasn’t born yesterday, and I’m also very familiar with being in my early twenties.”
“I’m not talking about this. I’ll see you guys later.” I head to the elevator to leave, just hoping I can get out of here without her hounding me for more information about where I’m going or who I’m seeing.
Rae sends me the address, and as soon as I step into the elevator I take my arm out of the sling.. I still can’t use it too much, but I can give it a break. Especially to hopefully have a little fun.