19. Rae
Rae
The studio has always felt like a safe place for me.
Until now.
Everyone else has left, and it’s just me, the equipment, and instruments. At least that’s what it should be.
But I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not completely alone. Or at least someone is watching me. It’s a sense of unease that comes and goes. I know no one can get in here without me letting them in.
People don’t even know this place exists, but still, I can’t shake it.
And that’s why I texted both Grayson and Asher to come here. One because I’m curious what they will both say. But also how will I feel having them both in the same space.
I’ll also feel extremely safe with just one of them, but both of them would be even better.
What I didn’t expect was that they would both show up at the same time.
Grayson
I’m here and so is…Asher?
I rush toward the door to let them in, and probably answer the many questions as to why they’re both here.
When I open the door, I take a deep breath and do my best to stand up straight and seem confident. I’m embracing the new me. The me I’m trying to be.
“Hey,” I greet, as soon as the thick door swings open.
Grayson is standing there; he’s so tall he even has about five inches in height over Asher. And he’s giving me a questioning look, his eyes looking at Asher then back to me. “Did you invite him?”
“No, obviously I just showed up out of nowhere,” Asher retorts, already walking forward to join me inside. I notice he doesn’t have his arm sling on, but he’s walking past me before I’m able to ask where it went.
“Sunshine, what’s going on?” Grayson steps forward, concern and care on his face.
“Do you trust me?”
“Always.”
I reach out to hook one of my fingers with his gently. “I hope that doesn’t change.”
“It never could.” I know he’s being honest. But I really hope he doesn’t change his mind.
We walk inside, and I find Asher sitting on the navy couch that’s in the producers area of the studio. He’s flipping through a magazine that was sitting there, but looks up at us as we enter.
“You going to tell me why you brought us both here?” Asher questions.
Suddenly I feel really insecure and that this was a bad idea. I don’t know what I expected when I wanted to have them here together. Maybe that we could be friendly with each other, or I could see if the chemistry with each of them is the same alone as it is together.
I don’t know how Chandler managed to do this because I’m standing here with these two and feeling like I’m three inches tall because all my insecurities have taken over. And the worst thing is that I feel like this was a horrible idea.
“I just didn’t want to be alone,” I say, instead of the things I thought when my false bravado was working overtime before they got here.
Grayson furrows his brows, and he can probably see through the ruse because he knows me.
“And I wasn’t enough for you, babe? Because trust me, I can be.” Asher winks, tossing the magazine to the side.
I huff, but ignore his comment. “Where’s your sling?”
“Don’t need it anymore.”
Grayson chimes in, “Why do you have a sling?”
“Fuck, why does everyone ask that?” Asher groans.
“Because people are curious?” I shrug.
“You get hurt fighting?” Grayson asks.
“You wouldn’t know because I’ve heard you avoid fights. The world’s first pacifist hockey player, huh?”
Grayson scoffs, stepping over to Asher. “That’s not true, want to find out for yourself?”
I step in front of my friend while Asher chuckles, standing up as well.
This puts me between the two of them, and now I really feel three inches tall.
But being between them also has a rush going through me.
Shooting all the way up my body, but settling between my thighs. I shouldn’t feel this way right now.
“Please.” Asher laughs. “I bet I could lay you out even with one good arm.”
“No one is fighting,” I finally say.
“It’s cute you want to protect him, babe, I can appreciate that,” Asher teases and I glare at him.
“Don’t talk to her like you know her. Where have you been the last five years?”
“Working my ass off. What have you been doing? Riding daddy’s coattails and playing for his team because you aren’t good enough to get drafted anywhere else?”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Grayson snaps, looking at me. “Sunshine, why do you want this asshole around?”
“Enough,” I scold, worried this is already going so poorly, so I divert. “I wanted to show you my new song.”
“Yeah, Wheeler, play nice,” Asher teases and I want to throw something at him.
“Well Hudson, you can leave.” Grayson pushes back and I just shake my head.
“Both of you can knock it off or leave. I’m going back into the studio. I hope you don’t kill each other while I’m behind that glass.” I nod toward the room where I record.
I want to try to play this song one more time. It’s going to be stripped down, but I’m not sure how much production I want to put behind it anyway. And I need someone in my life that isn’t my mom to hear it.
Grayson has heard my songs as I work on them before, and with this being so different I know I want his opinion.
But I also want to know what Asher thinks.
Probably because I know my typical sound isn’t his style.
Also, the lyrics describe how I’ve been feeling so perfectly and I don’t know any other way to show that outside of music.
I pick up the guitar in the studio, sit on the stool situated in front of the microphone, close my eyes, and start to strum the melody. Letting the chords I memorized flow without thought, I feel every note deep into my bones, and then I take a soft breath before singing the first line.
I keep my eyes closed as I continue because I know if I see Grayson and Asher watching me from the other side of the glass it’ll distract me too much.
I may not know who I am, but you’ll always find me.
I’ve tested out different sounds, and this is one of the slower songs I’ve written lately, but everything about it just feels right.
As the song comes to an end, I want to keep going because I don’t know what I’m about to see when I open my eyes. The last chord rings out, and I let it fade on its own while I try to regulate my breathing.
When the music has stopped, I can’t hold out any longer and slowly open my eyes. Then even slower, I look up at the glass to see what’s waiting for me.
Grayson and Asher are standing as far away as possible, but both are staring at me with similar expressions of adoration.
Though each of them also has another level of heat in their gaze.
Asher’s causes a shiver down my spine while I remember what it was like to have him looking up from between my legs.
His hazel eyes promise danger, but the best kind that I’ve never experienced before him.
Grayson’s causes my heart to skip because he’s always been a constant in my life.
My best friend for as long as I can remember.
This newfound element to our relationship has me confused, scared, and excited all at the same time.
His green eyes promise comfort, gentle and familiar love.
But I also know what it’s like when it’s been just the two of us, the way he talks to me. And the way he treats me.
“So,” I speak into the microphone to them. “What do you think?”
Grayson knows how some of the controls work because I’ve showed him. He finds the button to speak on the overhead so I can hear him.
“You’re absolutely perfect as always.”
Asher leans over to speak into the overhead as well. “I think you should come out here, and I can really show you what I think.”
The microphone cuts out, and I can see them start to argue. I quickly set down my guitar to join them once again before things can escalate. When I leave the soundproof booth, their voices fill the space while they go back and forth.
“What are you even doing here?” Grayson asks.
“Rae invited me. You mad you don’t get to have her alone?”
“Stop,” I scold them both, and they turn their attention toward me. “You’re here because I wanted you both here, but not if you’re going to keep fighting.”
I’m hauled into Asher as he snakes one arm around my stomach, my chest slamming into his causing a huff of air to escape. “Maybe he should just leave us alone. We seem to have a good time without him around.”
I push at his chest, but he doesn’t let me go. Instead he flips me around so my back is flush against his chest. Grayson is watching, jaw ajar. I expect to see hurt or jealousy in his gaze, instead it’s something else. Intrigue, maybe?
“Or do you think he would want to see? Maybe he could take some notes about what you like,” Asher taunts, speaking against my ear, while my eyes stay locked on Grayson’s.
“Trust me, I don’t need to take notes.” Grayson smirks.
“Oh, that’s news. Did you two finally fuck?”
“None of your business,” I snap.
“You did.” Asher chuckles. “Good job. I thought if you hadn’t by this point you never would.”
I feel like I’m not really standing here between them, but Asher’s tight grip around me, and Grayson’s focused gaze has me realizing that this is all about me.
“Yeah, well none of us thought you would ever be back and here you are.” My friend shrugs.
“Maybe I came back for Rae.” Asher rests his chin on my shoulder. I rear back, turning to try and look at him because I don’t believe that for a second and I don’t think Grayson does either.
“Or to try and piss me off,” Grayson counters.
“I don’t think you get pissed off. What do you have to be mad about? You have the perfect little life, your perfect family, and now the perfect girl, right?” He pulls me against him even harder; my ass is against his groin. Is he really hard right now?
Grayson doesn’t say anything, but he clenches his jaw and I recognize that look. It’s one he would do when he was trying to avoid a fight with Easton. Because he thought if he didn’t engage then Easton would stop and things wouldn’t escalate any further.
Asher continues, “Are you a good girl for him, Rae. Are you his Sunshine?”
“Why do you care?” I practically whisper.
“Because I can see it. But I also could see how you were with me. Does he know about that night?”
Again, I watch Grayson’s reaction, though he’s doing his best not to give Asher one.
I nod once.
“And he’s still here?” Asher lets out a low whistle. “I bet you could get him to do whatever you want, couldn’t you?” His voice drops lower. “Grayson Wheeler, your little puppy dog.”
“No he’s not,” I deny weakly.
“Yeah? Try. See if he’ll be a good boy for you.”
Grayson still hasn’t said anything. Just watches with wide eyes as Asher’s hand slides across my stomach, whispering the words in my ear. My eyes shoot up to my best friend’s.
I hesitate for a moment, but think about what it would be like to see if Asher’s right. How far would Grayson let me take this?
“Get on your knees,” I command gently, feeling weird to take control.
My best friend keeps his eyes on mine, and after several seconds that seemed to drag on, he does it without protest. My jaw drops as I watch him slide onto the carpet, on his knees. For me.
Asher lets out a low sound that sends a shiver down my spine. “What else can you get him to do?”
“I-I don’t know,” I stutter.
“Find out.”
I could end this now. Whatever insanity I’ve found myself in. This confusing, tension filled insanity. But for some reason, I try out one more instruction, just to see what will happen. Maybe Grayson will end whatever is going on, or Asher will. Because I certainly can’t. “Come here.”
“How?” Asher snaps harshly. I jump at his tone, but don’t miss the way the shock flies through my whole body and creates a hum between my thighs. I try to press them together to relieve the ache that’s appeared there.
“What?” I squeak.
“How do you want him to come here?”
“Um,” I hesitate, thinking about what he means because I don’t know. I feel so completely out of my element but so turned on at the same time. They’re both here. Both here for me. “Crawl?”
“You want him to crawl to you, good girl?”
“Y-yeah.”
“Then tell him to.” His tone is harsh again, and I really need to sit and think about why it’s only increasing my arousal to have him talking to me like this.
I roll my lips together and find every ounce of confidence I could possibly have. “Be a good boy and crawl over here.”
Again, he listens and my jaw drops even more.
“Now that’s a good fucking girl. What else do you want?” Asher pushes.
He’s at my back, the warmth of his strong body pressing against mine while Grayson looks up at me with green eyes shining, waiting, wanting.
“Kiss me,” I say to no one in particular, but my eyes remain locked on Grayson’s.
His hands slide up my thighs, onto my hips as he stands in front of me. Him at my front, Asher at my back, Grayson dips down to press his lips against mine.