33. Bahama Disaster
BAHAMA DISASTER
On our way to the plane probably wasn’t the best time to drop that bomb, but I just couldn’t hold it back anymore.
After that morning in the kitchen, I just knew I couldn’t hold back anymore, and I took a risk. She was either going to pull away and tell me that we were just friends, or she was going to get on this plane ride with my family and suffer because we’re so much more than friends.
She got on the plane and I’m feeling smug about it.
We’re in the air, and I can tell she wants to ask me a million questions, but with my dad sitting across from us, she bounces her leg instead. Ben is making the same exact motion across from us and I hold back a smirk.
I unbuckle my seat.
“Where are you going?” Kate asks.
“Bathroom, be right back,” I tell her.
Except when I get to the lav door, Ben’s pushing me inside and locking us in there together.
“What the fuck was that? We didn’t discuss this,” Ben says, running a hand through his hair that’s just slightly longer than mine at the moment.
“She got on the plane, Ben.”
“Okay, and?”
“I told her we weren’t just friends, and she got on the plane. She feels the same way,” I say, and my brother blinks at me.
He rubs the back of his neck, looking at the door and back to me.
“She got on the plane,” he says in awe.
“She got on the fucking plane. She’s probably talking to dad about the parallels of fine art and architecture right now. The fact she agreed to come in the first place. She feels the same about us.”
“Well, you,” Ben says.
I roll my eyes. “Shut up. You’re the one who got her to agree to come. Don’t be obtuse. We’re a package deal. She knows that.”
He takes a deep breath. “She’s probably freaking out.”
“Oh, she’s definitely freaking the fuck out. Tonight, after dinner, we can get away from the family. We’ll lay all our cards out for her.”
“So your plan is to trap her on an island to tell her you have feelings for her and she has nowhere to run,” Ben says.
“Exactly.”
He rubs between his eyebrows. “What if…what if she has feelings but doesn’t want to publicly be in a relationship with us?” I ask.
It’s no doubt something I’ve considered. Kate has a job that’s important to her. She presents herself in a way that she cares what other people think.
“We could pretend to be one person again,” I say and my brother punches my arm. “Ow, fucker. Fine. But that’s just something we’ll have to talk to her about. I can’t keep doing this.”
“Me either. But what if we lose her?” Ben asks, his face softening and I shake my head.
“Then we’ll have to convince her. We’re Carlsons. When we know someone is the one, we don’t stop till they’re ours. And Kate? She’s ours.”
Ben takes a deep breath, nodding his agreement. “Then let’s get through this weekend. It’s either going to be the best or most awkward family vacation ever.”
“I do actually have to piss, if you don’t mind,” I say, and he rolls his eyes before leaving the bathroom.
While he’s gone, I mentally prepare myself for what Kate has to say about my declaration. She got on the plane, I remind myself. No matter what she says, she got on the fucking plane.
Kate is jittery the entire party van ride to the house, and part of me feels guilty. Then there’s a sick part of me that enjoys seeing her squirm.
Because she’s made me crawl out of my skin more than once over the last six months.
She left an impression on me that night at the bar and it’s never gone away.
She’s only dug deeper, imprinting herself under my skin and not leaving.
I tried to fight it, maybe not hard enough, but I just couldn’t take it anymore.
I couldn’t pretend that I wasn’t obsessed with her, that I didn’t want to take care of her, that I didn’t want her around me all the time. It’s a completely new feeling, and it scared the absolute shit out of me. But watching her slowly disassociate herself from our lives was an even worse thought.
So, for the first time in my life, I’ve been vulnerable with a woman and I’m terrified about how it’s going to turn out.
Granted, I didn’t tell her the exact extent of my feelings, but I’m going to the moment we‘re alone.
So, in true me fashion, I make sure we’re not alone to the very last second, starting with a family dinner prepared by the chef we always use on the island.
We’re walking up to the house, and Kate looks in awe as she takes in the home, though she’s still nervous. Not that I did anything to help on that front.
“Kate, I’m so sorry we didn’t get a chance to speak on the plane. We’re so excited to have you. I hope you don’t have any allergies or foods to avoid?” my mother asks her.
“No, not at all. I’m sure everything will be delicious. Thank you again for inviting me.”
“Of course, it’s just silly that my sons felt the need to stay elsewhere,” she says, giving me a pointed look. I in return just blink at my mother, who rolls her eyes. “You’ll have to tell me how you met my boys. You’re the first girl they’ve ever brought on vacation,” she redirects to Kate.
Kate coughs into her fist.
“Right. Um, I met them at the marina one night when I was out with my friends,” she half lies.
“Oh, we’re just so proud of them. All our sons, really. Do you have family back in Tampa?”
“Mom,” I complain. “Why don’t we sit down for dinner before you grill her with eight hundred questions,” I say, placing a hand on Kate’s back and leading her inside the house toward the dinner table.
She sits between me and Ben at the table and I really should’ve prepared her for how off the rails family dinners can get, but Lincoln beats me to it.
“It’s great to see you again, Kate. So, which one of my brothers captured your full attention to have you join us on family vacation?”
Kate had her glass of water pressed against her lips, but stops, staring at my older dickhead brother, before glancing at Ben and then me.
“So, what’s for dinner?” I interject, wishing I could kick the shit out of Lincoln’s shin under the table.
“Lobster risotto, for a starter,” Chef says, giving Kate a slight reprieve.
This family hasn’t had anyone new to harass since Jessa joined the family, and it shows.
They all seem like eager sharks, ready to pounce at the first sight of blood.
Maybe this was an absolutely horrible fucking idea.
Yet…having someone I care about at the family dinner table for a change feels right.
No matter how invasive and ridiculous my family can be, I love them more than anything and it feels right having Kate here.
We’re all presented with our food, which is fantastic as always.
“This is amazing, thank you,” Kate directs to the chef and our mother.
“Chef always does an amazing job. I’m just happy to have one of the empty seats at the table filled. Going back to Lincoln’s question, so you’re all just friends?” my mom asks.
Kate’s cheeks are bright fucking pink as she clears her throat.
“If you’ll excuse me. Where’s the restroom?” she directs the question at my mother, who points down the hall.
Kate places her napkin politely on the table, looking down at the floor as she scurries away to the bathroom.
“What the fuck is wrong with you all?” I ask collectively to the table.
Lincoln rolls his eyes. “Oh, please. This is on you. Why did you invite her if?—”
“Please, just stop being a dick,” I say, pointing at him.
“Dick,” Brynn repeats in her seat next to her mother, happily eating her risotto.
“We really have to work on the bad language,” my aunt Holly says from the side of the table.
“Well, if everyone would f-u-c-k-ing stop cursing,” Penny hisses under her breath.
My mother clears her throat. “Are…are things more complicated with Kate?” she asks, glancing between me and Ben.
“Mom,” Ben whines and she throws her hands up.
“Listen. We love you no matter what.”
“Yeah, I mean look at Lincoln,” Aiden says, speaking for the first time since sitting down.
I rub my temples and sigh. “If everyone in this family could just be friendly to Kate, not scare her off and just be polite, I would appreciate it.”
“But…” my mom says. I know she doesn’t like my non answer.
“As soon as I know where we stand with Kate, I’ll let you know,” I reply, leaving it at that.
It’s not a shock to my brothers or their wives, and also not surprising to my parents or aunt and uncle?
“You boys always did do everything together,” my dad says unhelpfully.
Everyone at the table is snickering and laughing under their breath as I run a hand through my hair.
“Can you go make sure she’s okay?” I ask Ben.
He swallows thickly but nods. He’s better with comfort, with smoothing things over, and I know he’ll be able to calm her nerves better than I will.
“Now, when she get’s back, everyone is to be on their best fucking behavior, got it?”
“Fuck,” Brynn whispers under her little toddler breath, and I get a sick little sense of satisfaction when Lincoln seems slightly irritated.
Serves him right.
I take another bite of my food and wonder if I could have fucked up any worse than I already have.
This is a disaster of a family vacation.