Chapter Twenty
Pax
I startle awake, my head jerking upright as scales roll up my forearms. The area outside of Vynessa’s room comes into focus. The scent of cedar, the flickering hearth reflecting off marble and casting a warm glow on velvet chairs and sofas. I must have nodded off for a moment.
True stands beside me, inspecting a line of blisters running over his arm.
“Whoa, True. You’re burned,” I say, voice coming out hoarse.
True yanks down his sleeve before regarding me. “It’s fine.”
“I didn’t see that you were injured earlier, Captain. I apologize.”
“I’m fine,” True insists, turning away.
I reach out, not quite touching him, but close. “I can heal that.”
He looks over at me, and I try to say with my eyes, Don’t be a stubborn ass. Let me heal you. True is a stubborn ass, though.
“Say that Vynessa sees you with those. How is she going to feel when she finds out her losing control hurt you? Even if she never sees them, what happens if someone attacks her, and those burns weaken you?”
True’s icy blue eyes flash dark a moment, and I think I’ve gone too far, that he’ll snap back at me. Instead, his gaze shifts to over my head, and he holds out his arm. “Very well.”
I lay a hand on his burns, and he hisses in a breath.
It feels like a surge of water spraying from my fingers, but healing is not physical.
It’s more like invisible tendrils of magic are shooting from my fingers and forcing his body to speed up its healing at a quicker pace.
My hand prickles like its fallen asleep on me, and I stretch my fingers until the feeling returns to them.
True pulls away and gazes at his arm. The blisters are gone, leaving flawlessly tanned, smooth skin.
Healing was the first dragon magic that came to me, and it’s the one I utilize the most. Vynessa has no idea how many times I’ve healed her.
I reach out a finger and touch True’s arm to be sure, and he pulls away.
“Don’t tell her,” he growls. Then, as if in afterthought, he adds, “Please.”
Please. That’s new. I take my place beside him again, staring at her door. “I wasn’t planning to.”
True stands like a statue, unmoving, unresponsive.
“Anything from Vynessa?” I ask, breaking the silence first. “I should probably check on her. We can’t be too careful with the Sun King now that the heir has been named.”
“The queen sent most of the court away when Vynessa arrived. The royal advisors are negotiating with the Sun King in Solgrange, keeping our enemies and allies occupied with each other. The only people who know about Vynessa are the queen, Shynia, and all their guards and entourages, as well as Vynessa’s entourage. ”
“That’s dozens of people,” I fret.
“The palace guards are all in place.”
“What about that dragon in Ricoterra?” I ask. “I fought him. Sinetar joined, but he’s too crafty and smart to kill one of the Sun King’s kin. I don’t trust him.”
“We can trust everyone here to do what’s in their best interest,” he says.
“If anyone alerted him, the Sun King will come to kill her before she can take the throne. But he’d also see all the dragons in Wysongue dead except him and his lineage if he gets his way.
Only the ladies in waiting would survive, and they’d be nothing more than breeding mares for the Sun King’s army.
” True glares into the sitting room, watching the firelight flicker.
I shudder. “I’m going to check on her.”
“Paxton…” True says, and I’m sure he’s going to stop me. But then he gives a curt nod. “Don’t do anything stupid. She needs you here, and you can’t protect her if you’re put to death for treason. And touching the princess is treason.”
As soon as I step inside the room, Vynessa opens her eyes and turns her face towards me, a sleepy smile on her face. That’s all it takes, one look at her state of bedtime disarray, one whiff of her vanilla and cinnamon sweetness, and there’s a stirring and tingling up my shaft.
“Come here,” she says, patting the edge of the bed.
“I shouldn’t.”
“That’s probably true,” she says, her voice blurred with sleep. “But will you?”
I glance at the door, knowing True is just on the other side. Knowing I’ll be in deep dragon-shit if he finds out.
“Please?” she asks with a pretty pout.
Without waiting for reason to take over, I dive for the bed, tackling Vynessa and rolling her over. She gives a little shriek, and I clamp a hand over her mouth. “Shhh,” I say, chuckling. “True’s right outside the door.”
Her eyes widen and she nods.
I remove my hand and smile down at her, rocking my hips gently against hers.
“As soon as you look at me, I’m hard for you.”
She slides her hands behind my neck. “I feel kind of self-conscious about what happened earlier in the washroom.”
“Why?” I ask, drawing back. “I’ve never been so turned on in my life. Just wish it had been me.”
“Me too,” she whispers. “Kiss me.”
Damn it, this is what I want too. I’ve been denying it too long, nearly my whole life. I’ve been resisting her, telling myself I’m just horny, other women are just as good. But I always knew I was meant for her, even as I know that I’m not meant for her. Only she thinks I am.
I can’t resist, though. Not when she’s squirming under me, her heat pulsing against my groin. She lifts her chin and closes her eyes in anticipation, a warm murmur of pleasure in her throat.
I let my lips meet hers.
A warm rush goes through me, straight to my groin. After all these years of being denied, I need more. I need to kiss her, to touch her, to claim her to her depths. My dragon is spitting fire inside me, spluttering and choking on the water I’m using to drown the word he’s trying to utter—Mine.
I press my hips more firmly to hers, and she parts her thighs, letting my body settle between them.
Her heat burns along my body, inviting me in.
I want to give her everything, but I know it’s not my place.
For a second, I think of True out there.
He might deny it, but I know he wants her as much as I do.
He’d never let himself go this far though. He’s all self-control and stoic duty.
Vynessa follows the line of my gaze to the door. She bites her lip and looks up at me. “Do you think he’ll hear us?”
“No. Do you want him to?” I tease with a grin. “You didn’t seem to mind us watching you with Sinetar.”
My mirth leaves me in a rush when I realize that Vynessa might actually want True here now too.
My chest aches at the thought. I know she cares about me, but I care for only her.
I don’t know if she’s loved me as long as I’ve loved her, since we were children.
Her feelings might be much more simple and recent, the same as she feels for True or Sinetar, both of whom she only met this year.
It could be nothing more than her mating cycle hormones, her body’s biological call to be bred.
I can’t blame her. All the years we’ve known each other, I took refuge in other women’s beds, even while reserving my heart for her. It wasn’t fair to her or the other women, but at least they knew the truth. She never did.
She smacks my chest. “Stop teasing me.”
“Never.”
Looking at her now, with her bedhead and the freckles scattered across her nose, I think maybe this is the right time to tell her exactly how I feel.
The emotions that have always churned inside me like the deep ocean’s tides.
But I also know that this can’t last. She can give me her body, as I gave mine to those meaningless nights in other beds, but she can’t give me every night in her bed.
That honor will be reserved for her chosen mate, her husband, a prince from another kingdom, while I stand outside her bedchamber guarding the door.
I’m a halfling. I’m not even fit to be her illicit lover.
The thought makes my dragon blood boil, and I feel scales sweep over my back. If I’ll have to endure that then, at least I can take this moment for myself. One moment to have all I’ve ever wanted, fantasized about. One moment to pretend we are equals, while she still believes it.
“What do you want, Nessie?” I whisper, running my lips across her cheekbones, down to her ear. “Tell me.”
“I want you,” she gasps in a soft, breathy voice that makes me throb between her legs.
Her arousal has already soaked through my pants, an indication of how ready she is for mating.
As I take her earlobe between my teeth, she arches into me, gripping my back until her nails bite into my skin. “All of you.”
A growl builds in my throat, until I can’t bear it.
I rip at her night clothes, tearing open her silk gown.
Her perfect breasts fall loose, now swollen in her readiness, begging for attention.
I run my hands over her skin, her exposed body.
My own arousal heightens almost painfully, but I ignore it.
This is for Vynessa, for all the times I chased away guys who weren’t good enough.
If I couldn’t have her, they sure as hell couldn’t either.
She reaches down, toward my shaft, but I pull her hands away.
“But I’ve never…” she begins, her face going darker when she blushes.
“I know,” I tell her. “So let me make it up to you. Don’t worry about me this time.
Maybe next time.” I hate the lie that rolls off my tongue so easily after all these years of deceiving her.
I don’t deserve her trust because I’m betraying her even now.
This is our time, our one time. Even as my mouth moves over her, sliding down her neck and onto her chest, I vow that I will not give in again.
But I want her to know how I feel, even if I can’t say it.
I want her to know how this feels, to be with me.
I want to give her everything I never could.
And selfishly, I want her to remember me as her first orgasm.
I want her to think of me when she’s lying with her king.
I want to always have this part of her memory.