Chapter 37 #2
“There’s much to work on, but with the right prodding, she shows potential.”
Harbi nods again like she values Astrid’s insights.
Suddenly, I recognize this for what it is. A challenge, to see if I have what it takes to muscle my way through and defend my place here. My limbs shake with phantom memories of my fights today, refusing to go still. I’m ready to run, to attack, at any sign of danger.
But the danger is everywhere and my nerves don’t understand my brain telling me I’m fine. I’m fine.
Finally Harbi drops her chin to break eye contact. She glides behind the desk and pulls open the drawer from earlier.
Without looking at me, she says, “If you think we will go easy on you because of your past and what you’ve lived through, then you’re sorely mistaken. Your losses are your own. We all walk through those doors with the burden of our traumas.”
My lungs stay tight, ears ringing.
“My students leave here equipped to face the world and all the challenges that come. There are broken bones and blood. There are heartache and expectations beyond anything you have experienced growing up. Many do not make it to be chosen by a mount.”
She pulls the academy’s stamp from the depths of the drawer and the curves of the sigil catch the light.
I’m in. My throat goes dry. Air snags before releasing with a hiss through my teeth. “I understand.”
Harbi’s gaze sharpens. “I’m not sure you do. You might have Miss Edwards convinced, but I am not. Not wholly.”
If she isn’t convinced, then what does she plan to do with the stamp?
I’ve lost everything. Everything that mattered to me was stripped by people like her, and she’s staring at me like I’m nothing but a speck of dirt to be easily crushed underfoot.
Harbi laughs at the way I bristle. “Calm yourself, girl. You’re too easily worked up.”
Astrid makes a slight clearing sound in the back of her throat, a warning for me to control myself.
“You’ve had great loss in your life, it’s true. But DragonSpear is a fresh start. It’s its own beast with rules that may or may not apply to the world outside. There is a pecking order, and might makes right,” Harbi adds.
In other words, exactly like the outside world. I bite my tongue.
“We will not coddle you the way your family would have because any student who makes it to graduation is equipped with everything they need to cleave the world in two.”
Her voice is unflagging and I haven’t seen her blink once.
“I expect the same out of you as I would any student,” she adds.
“More.” Astrid makes the correction without batting an eyelash and Harbi nods.
“Yes, more. Perhaps because of your impossible circumstances. Because you nearly didn’t make it to this point no matter what acceptance letter you received. It shows a strength of character beyond the strength in your body. Do I make myself clear?”
My hands tremble against my sides, and I press them flat against my thighs to still them. My stomach piles high with rocks and the prospect of giving myself over to this beast of a woman has me second guessing my choice of direction.
“Yes, Headmistress,” I force out.
“You will be expected to adhere to the rules of the school and keep yourself alive. No one is going to do it for you. We rise with the sun. Sleep is on your own time as long as you are present for your classes. If you aren’t able to pay attention, it will reflect in your grades, and a drop in attendance results in expulsion.
” Harbi sets the stamp in front of me along with her letter from before.
“You will attend classes and when you’re not studying, you’ll be expected to train with a unit. ”
I flinch in surprise. “What unit?”
“I’ve found my students do better when they are part of a small group of likeminded souls. You train together, attend the same classes… you get the picture,” she says slowly.
Her voice has gentled slightly. I swallow and force myself to nod along with her words.
“I expect you to keep your grades up. Anything less than adequate will land you on the doorstep and you will not be admitted back.”
I turn to look at Astrid. She must be part of Kieran’s unit, then, if they are always together. I’m not sure who their leader is.
“You’ll be a bit behind in your lessons, given the start of your semester versus that of the others. You must work overtime to catch up.” Her eyes sharpen. “This is your last shot.”
“I know,” I say grimly.
A small laugh drops from my lips before I stop it.
She’s being hard on me and the small voice in my head understands that these are not unreasonable expectations. If I’d gotten to attend before my mother died, I’d be held to the same exacting standards. Why does it sting so badly now?
“Classes will be rough. I’ve seen professors whip students before, if they are unruly or disruptive.”
Ah, so I’d get the whip no matter what.
My nose stings. “Of course.”
Harbi glides around to the front of the desk, takes up the letter in one hand and the stamp in her other.
She holds both out to me. “Mounts are not assigned. You may have your preference of the type of companion you picture, but it is up to them to choose you. They will judge you based on what they see inside your heart.”
I shiver.
I never knew. I always thought the mounts and the riders reached some sort of accord and that the riders had more of a choice in the matter.
The way Harbi makes it sound—
There’s no choice at all.
What did that massive, bloodthirsty dragon of General Ryson’s see in his heart?
“I’ve heard you come from a village of unicorns. As long as you are prepared for the potentiality that you may not follow in your family’s footsteps. And that we expect great things from you.”
Harbi lays out her expectations in mincing, exact tones. And they are overwhelming. Finally, I take both the heavy stamp and the letter from her, unsure of what to do with both.
“Cross me once, disappoint me once, and you’ll find yourself in chains bound for the mines,” she finishes.
Annoyance is all it takes to be expelled? So, if Harbi doesn’t like the way I walk, or the way I dress, then it’s goodbye?
I scowl at her, my stomach clenching into even tighter knots than the ones I’d been forced to carry. If my future paths were dashed this morning by Kieran and his games, then they are buried now that night has fallen, and I’m not sure I have the strength to resurrect them.
Harbi nods to Astrid. “Since it seems not one but two of my students are sticking their necks out for you, then I’m assigning you to Kieran’s squad. You’ll be under him, Astrid, and Evie Fortescue.”
I blanch, feeling the last ounces of blood drain down to my toes. Me… and Evie?
Sure. That’s going to end well. She’ll kill me the first chance she gets, and my gut tells me Harbi won’t care.
Harbi watches me process her ultimatums before reaching into the pocket of her dress. From it, she draws out a small rectangular pad. She lifts the lid, revealing fabric soaked with blue ink.
Me and Evie. Me and Kieran.
Without looking at Astrid, I press the stamp against the ink pad, watching blue seep into the carved dragon sigil. The letter trembles beneath my fingers as I bring the stamp down—sealing my fate.
I’m in. No matter what happens. Now there’s no going back.