Chapter 22
Istare at the man in front of me, unable to decipher his odd, incomprehensible words, while faded memories cross my mind.
A man, coming to our house from time to time. An odd visitor. A man, yelling at my mother, then disappearing, leaving shards of her drowning in tears. I wouldn’t recognize that man if I saw him. Is this who I’m seeing?
“My father’s called Sonos of the Dawn.” My words are pointlessly defiant.
Mallor’s brows contract. “That’s a false name. You truly didn’t recognize me?”
Anger stirs in my chest, poking old wounds. “How could I? I came to this city as a child, carrying my little brother, and I looked and looked… There was nobody.”
“There was. Laristella took you, but I kept an eye on you.”
“Some incredible fatherly duties, no doubt. What else? You kept me from joining this academy? You could at least have warned me, instead of making me wonder what was wrong with me, why I could never get in. Did you laugh when the guards took me to prison after my trial?”
He sighs. “I wasn’t there. By the time I found out, you were already gone. I cleaned up your record, so you wouldn’t be listed as a fugitive.”
I’m still stunned, still in disbelief. “When I was about to join the academy, you put me in the cleaning crew.”
“Yes. I hoped you’d reconsider your choices, except you didn’t. Meanwhile, the pretend prince was trying to win you by granting you small favors on one hand and humiliating you with the other. That’s when I decided to give you everything you wanted.”
“Except flying.”
“Indeed. I have no wish to see you as Auranius’ food.”
“I always dreamed of flying.” The words are bitter now, an anger lingering beneath them, even if the yearning hasn’t dissipated. “It’s why I had to get in, why I had to join the Sky Academy.”
“As long as I exert some control over this place, I’ll never let you fly, never even let you join the Sky Guard. You were much, much safer at the restaurant.”
And yet it felt like a prison, but I doubt he’ll understand. I ask something else. “Why the distance? You had a disagreement with my mother, sure, but… why? We were desperate when we came to Dracolius City.” I’ve spent all my tears, or else they’d pool in my eyes again.
Mallor takes a deep breath and rests his forehead on his hand.
“I’ve… made mistakes. I was a young sentinel, luckily talented enough to become an instructor here, and married a former classmate.
Your mother… was a servant. And things happened.
She got pregnant, and I got her a house in Sirenna, in the northern edge of the Claw Bay.
Far from here. I meant to help her raise our child, but didn’t wish to extend our relationship, except that whenever I visited her, we reconnected.
She got pregnant again, and I supported her. Supported you and your brother.”
My mother spent days in her garden or crocheting, selling some of her items, but now I realize it wouldn’t be enough to make a living. Even then, this man has the audacity to think that sending some money is enough to make him a father.
I huff. “That’s all we were to you? A costly burden?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to get attached, as I felt it would betray my wife.”
“What a devoted husband.” Sarcasm drips from my voice.
“A horrible husband. Then my wife got pregnant. I was ecstatic. It’s unfair, right? I already had two lovely children, but they were a sign of my shame, my weakness.” He swallows. “I realize these words might hurt you.”
He thinks I care? “I’m more than used to not having a father.”
“Fair. Anyway, my wife was pregnant with a child I could love without any shame, but then… she died.” His voice cracks, and he pauses.
“Poison. From a vial of tonic bought in Sirenna. Tampered with. I had the bottle with me when I visited your mother.” He closes his eyes.
“She confessed. I told that dreadful woman I would never see her again, never help her again. But I couldn’t sentence her to death.
I thought about you and your brother, and I didn’t want to make you orphans.
I had proof, but I never tried to get any punishment for Ruinara. ”
My body trembles, disbelief and horror battling inside me, but all I do is huff. “Makes sense. Let’s leave the kids with the murderer.”
“She was your mother and would never hurt you. I let her live and raise her children. Her children. From that moment on, I decided they were not mine. But then you came to Dracolius City. Two scrawny little kids, hungry and desperate. Laristella took you in before I could do anything. Since then, I’ve been keeping an eye on you, and sending donations to the Grease & Spice. ”
My fists clench beside me. “My brother and I had to work in that restaurant! Work when we were still kids!”
“It wasn’t hard work! You were learning a profession and would inherit the restaurant. You both had a good, comfortable life, a guaranteed future. What else can anyone wish for?”
His opinion about my life as a cook is pointless. “If you didn’t want me to join this place, you could have warned me.”
“Too dangerous. Dangerous for you, and even for me. Now it’s too late. You’ve seen too much, know too much to go back to the restaurant. The knowledge about the hatchlings can get you killed.”
The hatchlings. A wave of cold reaches me. “What’s going to happen to them?”
“What do you think?”
I recall Katrine talking about keeping them safe from jaws, recall the gigantic dragon approaching me. “Food? For Auranius?”
Mallor sighs and nods. “Unfortunately, yes, but they need to be bigger. The reason Katrine allowed you to stay with them is because it seems to make them healthier.”
Outrage snaps inside me. “You were just going to let me bond with the little dragons and then snatch them like that?”
“We’d give you an excuse. You can tell yourself that at least they had love in the little time they lived. Sometimes that’s the only thing we can do: alleviate our suffering.”
I’m trembling. I want to yell and throw a chair and even strangle this man before me, but if I do that, he’ll realize how much I care for Ava and Vos.
I nod. “How long do they have?”
“A moon cycle at least. We can try to push for more. The bigger they are—”
“I get it.” I don’t want to hear another word.
“I’m sorry, little bug.”
The nickname claws into deep memories. “Don’t call me that.”
“I’m truly sorry. My solution now is to get you out of this kingdom.”
“If I’m caught escaping, I’ll be sentenced to death.”
“You won’t be caught.” He sounds confident.
I think about the hatchlings, think about my family, and figure there is something I can ask. “Before I leave, can you help secure an apprenticeship for my brother?”
He clicks his tongue. “Talk to him. The restaurant is a better place. A better job. He’ll be able to have a family. Merchant ships, they’re not an easy life.”
I swallow. “But if by any chance, let’s say, someone catches me escaping, or maybe someone figures out what I saw, I fear for him.”
His body stiffens, and a shadow covers his eyes. “Thantos curse. I’ll get him on a ship by the end of this week and then I’ll figure a way to get you out of here soon after.”
Part of the knots in my chest untangle. “Thanks.”
From across the table, he points a threatening finger at me. “Do not mention this to anyone. Not even to the bastard prince. He’ll try to stop you if he finds out you want to leave.”
“I won’t mention it.”
His eyebrows then crease. “Now tell me something. What happened to your mother? I always thought she died.”
“Does it make a difference?”
“I just wanted to know.”
I shrug. “She left. Told me she had the same right to happiness as my father, that she had raised us long enough. We were a burden to her. Always a burden.”
“Not a burden. You’re very brave. Had this been a decent place, I could envision great things for you.”
“Yes, because all you hoped for me was that I’d remain a cook.”
“A restaurant owner. It’s a very decent profession, better than serving an academy meant to feed an insatiable dragon.”
“But we also have to defend our kingdom, don’t we? From the invaders?”
“Oh, sure. But do you really think that jumping in the sky in our flimsy gliders does anything? Do you think a glider can stop a dragon? Obviously not. We only do it to increase our body count.”
Despite everything, I still can’t believe his words. “That can’t be.”
“Use your reasoning, and you’ll see it’s obvious.”
“What else is a lie? Katrine, she doesn’t care about dragons, does she?”
“She cares about killing them, so her class is useful. Again, more food for Auranius.”
“What about our classes on the Kingdom of the Riders?”
Mallor snorts. “Have you read that book? Do you think any of us actually went to our neighboring kingdom to study it? The point of that class is to strengthen our recruits’ resolve, make them willing to kill.
That’s it. This place wants you stupid, naive, and obedient.
Even the few books they let you read are nothing but pointless drivel. ”
“And yet you work here.”
“I’m just trying to stay alive. Maybe I tell myself that I’m here to save some recruits. Maybe I’m too comfortable with the privileged lifestyle the academy provides. It doesn’t mean I agree with it.”
“Are there books anywhere? Real books? I wanted to understand what happened when I encountered that rider’s magic.”
“Books are written about knowledge they want to share. We don’t care about the riders’ magic, and the few people privy to it have no wish to pass on the knowledge.
There’s nothing. Don’t try to look. Don’t try to ask.
You’ll only paint a target on your back.
The only thing you can do now is escape. ”
I swallow and nod, my chest strangled with anguish, when I remember something else. “The letters. From Marcus. You—”
“Yes. I intercepted and destroyed them, hoping you wouldn’t be tempted to join this place. Yes, it was wrong. You have no idea how much regret gnaws at me. I’m sorry.”