Chapter 22 #3
He stares at me, then takes a deep breath.
“I see what you’re saying, but at the same time…
Think, Mayara. We got a monster to protect us, right?
There must be a price. There’s obviously a price.
If Auranius wants to eat the dead recruits, what difference does it make?
You think burning them is much better? It isn’t.
Have you ever smelled hair being burned? It would have been just as disturbing.”
“There are cows raised for Auranius. There is food for him.”
Alayel shrugs. “It might not be enough. He might have a preference.”
I scoff. “So it’s absolutely fine for you. Your colleagues might become dragon food and you see no issue with it.”
He grimaces. “It’s obviously distasteful, but not that much different from what everyone is told.”
I can’t believe him. “So if I die tomorrow, and then Auranius chomps at my body, you won’t care?”
“I’ll be more than devastated if you die, Mayara. That’s not the point.”
“If it was you, would you want that?”
He gives me a casual half-shrug. “I have no plans for my body after death.”
“Can’t you see? The academy, the Sky Guard, they’re organized in such a way that recruits and sentinels always die.”
His playful tone fades at once, and he frowns. “The attacks are real. You saw one of them.”
“We saw gliders crashing against each other. Do you think flying against dragons is really effective?”
He pauses. “Isn’t it supposed to disorient them? To be honest, I found it weird when I came to Dracolius, but I don’t think the kingdom would spend so much time and resources on something useless.”
“I’m not saying it’s useless, I’m saying it’s horrific. It’s to feed Auranius.”
“I don’t think they want sentinels to die, Mayara.
Also, isn’t Auranius the only thing standing between us and certain destruction?
If he doesn’t protect us, the riders will overtake us.
Some choices are hard, but must be made.
Of course, it doesn’t change your shock at seeing what happened to your friend. I’m so sorry.”
“You knew about it, didn’t you?” I mutter, no anger or accusation in my voice. “About what Auranius does with the dead recruits.”
“I didn’t. Believe it or not, they don’t share secrets with me.
That said, this explanation makes much more sense than believing that a gigantic dragon who can do whatever he wants spends time working as a funeral pyre for humans.
And when an explanation finally makes sense, it’s hard to dispute it. ”
I don’t know why I’m disappointed with Alayel, why I thought he would be shocked, when I know that all he cares about is getting what he wants. I don’t know why this new wedge between us is pointing at my heart.
“They could at least tell us,” I say, my voice small.
“They do, Mayara. You know your body will be taken to Auranius.”
I shake my head. “They say it’s a great honor to be burned by dragon fire.”
“You can think it’s a great honor to sustain our dragon guardian.
” He places a gentle finger under my chin and raises my face to his.
“Mayara, you can’t let that upset you. If you want to be our queen, you need to understand that the kingdom needs to make hard choices.
It’s not even that hard. We wouldn’t survive without Auranius. ”
“Makes sense.” The lie slips from my lips. “I… shouldn’t have gone looking.”
Of course I should have looked, but, for now, I’d rather pretend that I agree with Alayel.
To be fair, he’s not completely wrong, but then there’s everything else Mallor told me.
I shouldn’t believe that man, and yet his words rang true.
Perhaps because they make sense, and it’s hard to dispute their truth.
“No,” he says. “It’s good to explore. Secrets are currency.” He kisses my cheek, then gets up. “I’ll get the servants to bring us something to eat. You shouldn’t be in public with red eyes like that. They’ll think you’re emotional and weak.”
Emotion is not a weakness, but I don’t want to argue with him. In fact, Mallor told me the same thing.
“Thanks,” I say.
“Anything for you.”
He opens his main door and rings a little bell, while I walk to the window and look at the bay. There are still gliders jumping from the Outer Hill, as if nothing happened. The truth is that nothing out of the ordinary happened.
Just another day in the Sky Academy.
I’m the one who isn’t the same anymore. I don’t know how much I believe about my classes, how much I believe about our kingdom, how much I even believe about Auranius, and it’s not Mallor’s words. It’s that I decided to stop trusting everything like a foolish child.
And then I think about Ava and Vos, so little, so lovely, so innocent. It’s my fault they’re here, stuffed into that room. My fault that the rider didn’t carry them away from this ghastly castle. But how am I going to fix my mistakes?
Protect them, he said. I hear it now not as a threat, but as a plea. But how can I protect them? How can I save them?
Alayel wraps his arms around me from behind. “They’ll bring something soon.”
His strong grip around me is comforting, healing, and washes away some of my horror, my pain.
Can I keep secrets from him?