Chapter 36
Captain Kendra’s Log: I did not have that on the wedding BINGO card.
A blinding light shone through the window in my bedroom, stabbing me in the brain, punishment for the eleventy-million Mangrove Meads I thought I could drink in between shots of tequila.
I threw my arm over my eyes and groaned.
“Good morning, Goldilocks,” a deep, cheerful voice drowned out the thoughts of regret that were on repeat in my brain.
“Ugh. What’s so good about it?”
Rowan lifted my arm an inch off my face and smiled at me.
“Well, you’re in one piece, I think. So, that’s a win.
Plus, I brought you some electrolytes.” He handed me a bottle of life-giving liquid and helped me sit up in bed.
“Take small sips of this. It was touch and go last night when you got home.”
“Don’t remind me,” I grumbled. I took a few sips of the electrolyte water and waited for it to retreat, but it stayed down. I followed that up with two aspirin my Aussie savior handed me. “Thank you.”
He sat on the edge of the bed and brushed my hair off my forehead. His hand felt cool on my heated skin, and I leaned into his touch, closing my eyes. “That feels good.”
“I’m glad to hear it.”
He caressed my forehead for several more minutes, not saying a word until it became awkward. The air was charged, like he had something to say but was afraid to say it. I was very familiar with that feeling.
“What is it?” I finally asked.
“Nothing.”
“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”
“How did it go with the bachelorettes last night?”
“Changing the subject. Well done, Boss. A tip of the hat to you.” I tipped an imaginary hat and sipped my water.
“Fine. We sang karaoke. We drank too much, which you already know. And you are Truette’s favorite human being because you somehow managed to get Jesse off her back for a few hours so that she could have fun. ”
Rowan took a deep breath. “Listen. I want to tell you something.”
I grabbed his arm and sat up straighter, wincing as my hangover stabbed me in the temples. “Me first. You’re not going to believe this. True said she’s thinking of backing out of the wedding!”
He sat stock still.
“Did you hear what I said?”
“Yes. I was waiting for the rest of it. Did she cancel the wedding?” He asked.
“Well, no.”
“Ah.”
“What’s ‘ah’ mean?” I nudged him with my foot. “What’s on your mind?”
Rowan took my hand in his. “Kendra, what if True called off the wedding right now? What would you do?”
“That’s easy, I’d—” I paused to answer. I honestly didn’t know what I’d do. I closed my mouth.
“You’d?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Why are you asking?”
“I’m trying to get a sense if Jesse’s wedding were cancelled, and he came to you, what you would do at that moment,” Rowan said.
My stomach felt queasy. My blood felt like oily sludge, moving slowly through my veins, and my eye twitched.
“What if,” Rowan started. “What if someone else came to you and told you he was in love with you? Had been in love with you since the moment you met? He didn’t want to fall in love at all but forgot all about that the second you spit all over him in a bar?”
“Rowan—”
“What if this man knew he wanted you - from the second he met you? He didn’t need days, weeks, months, or even years to figure it out. Deep in his soul, he knew you were meant to be with each other. What would you say to that man?” Rowan’s eyes met mine, searching for an answer I couldn’t give him.
“Rowan—”
He released my hand and stood. “That’s what I thought you might say.”
“Rowan—”
“I’m going back to the ship. I’ll see you at the wedding.”
I waited until he left the houseboat before I ran into the bathroom to puke up my guts.
The sun hung high in the clear blue sky, casting a golden glow over the beachfront as the gentle waves lapped lazily against the shore.
It was an unusually warm October day in Florida, the kind of heat that clung to your skin and made the air shimmer like a mirage.
The grainy sand beneath my feet felt scorching, and beads of sweat trickled down my back.
The scent of salt and roasted chicken mingled in the air while seagulls cawed overhead, biding their time, waiting for scraps.
Guests in colorful sundresses and crisp linen suits milled about, the laughter of friends and the faint sound of music from a nearby speaker against the backdrop of crashing waves.
I held a hand over my eyes to shade them from the relentless sun that felt like a punishment for not stopping Rowan from leaving the houseboat earlier.
The hurt look on his face hit me right in the gut. I haven’t been able to keep anything down all day. I resorted to crunching on ice chips so I wouldn’t get dehydrated and do something stupid like pass out at my best friend’s wedding.
Jesse and True were having their wedding on Pleasure Point’s beach. Tents were set up for the reception, along with a big bridal tent and a smaller tent for the groom’s family. I sat on a white folding chair outside Jesse’s tent while he dressed.
Joy spotted me across the sand and walked toward me. The woman was elegant in everything she did. Even here on the beach, as the rest of us sweated our asses off through our wedding clothes, Joy looked dry and fresh as a freaking daisy.
“Hey, Kendra,” Joy said as she joined me. “You okay? You’re looking a little green.”
I popped an ice chip in my mouth and crunched down. “Went a little hard at the bachelorette party.”
“I heard it was a rager. Y’all closed it down?”
“Affirmative.”
“That’s a lot of mead,” Joy pointed out.
“Nope. Don’t talk of drinking right now,” I pleaded with her and crunched my ice. “It’s been a rough morning.”
“It’s three o’clock in the afternoon.”
“That should tell you how rough the morning is.”
Joy tsked softly and glanced around at the crowd gathering near the ceremony spot, a picturesque location featuring an arch with fragrant flowers. Everyone was bubbling with excitement, their smiles wide as they clustered together, eager to witness the happy couple exchange their vows.
As I caught sight of the beautifully decorated archway draped in sheer fabric, my stomach flipped at the thought of dinner. I sucked on another ice chip, trying to stave off the dry heaves that could have come from the hangover or the massive regret tearing up my insides.
“Where’s Rowan?” Joy asked. “I thought he was your plus one?”
I swallowed and willed the bile to stay in my stomach. “Not sure he’s coming.”
“What happened?” Joy crouched beside me.
I blinked back a few tears. “Remember how I spent years regretting things not said with—” I nodded toward the tent behind me.
Joy squeezed my hand. “I do.”
“This is so much worse,” I whispered. “I think Rowan told me he loved me this morning, and I said nothing.”
Joy hopped up with a whoop and threw a fist pump into the air. “Yasss! Queen!”
“What the fuck, Joy?” I tugged on the hem of her dress. “What’s gotten into you?”
She squatted back beside me. “I knew it! Oooh. Thorn owes me five bucks. We also have a friendly wager on… never mind. What’s wrong with Rowan telling you he loves you?”
“I couldn’t say it back.”
“You weren’t ready? I understand that. It’s a big step. You want to say it when you mean it, not because the other person says it,” Joy said, patting my hand. “If he gets his panties in a twist because you’re not saying it fast enough, then that’s on him. That’s not your fault.”
“How did you know you loved Thorn?”
Joy’s smile nearly split her face. “Girl. It was a thousand little things that came down to two: kindness and respect. He didn’t just show me kindness and respect, but he shared it with others, like Avery.
He’s known her for a long time, and when he realized she hadn’t received the same recognition for her work, he went out of his way to remedy that. ”
I swiped a tear from my cheek. “That sounds good.”
“And when I was hungover, he made me breakfast. Or how about the time he tracked down the alpha male podcaster who put a bounty on my ass and exposed that little turd on national television?” Joy chuckled. “That was a great day.”
“It was. Once we got you out of your own way,” I snorted.
“Exactly.” Joy poked me in the forehead.
“Ow! What did you do that for?”
“You need to get out of here.” She poked me in the forehead again. “And get into here.” She poked me in the chest. “Your heart knows best.”
“But—” I glanced at the tent behind me.
“Ken. I say this with love, kindness, and respect. If he wanted to, he would.” Joy clasped my hand. “If he wanted to be with you, he would make the effort. He wouldn’t leave you hanging for years, my friend. That’s not love. That’s a back burner.”
“That’s what Rowan said,” I whispered.
“Rowan is smart, and I liked him when I met him.” Joy kissed me on the top of my head. “Now—”
A blood-curdling shriek came from the bridal tent, which set us in motion.
Joy and I exchanged frantic glances, an unspoken agreement urging us to run straight toward the tent as another anguished cry tore through the peaceful afternoon, shattering the idyllic scene we had envisioned just moments before.
The tent loomed larger as we approached, its elegant white fabric flapping wildly in the breeze.
A crowd of wedding-goers assembled at the entrance, their faces etched with confusion and concern.
Some whispered hurriedly among themselves, while others craned their necks, straining to glimpse what was happening inside.
Joy and I quickened our pace, my heart pounding as we pushed through the throng, desperate to get inside the tent.
“Stand aside, people,” Joy announced as we arrived. “Stand back.”
The two of us ducked inside the tent, where True stood in the center with handfuls of seed beads in her hands. My stomach dropped.
“True? Are you okay?” I ventured closer to the bride.
Her face was red. Her hair was askew. And she was breathing heavily. Every time she took a breath, more of the beads fell off the dress. I clasped my hand to my mouth.
“No! I’m not fucking okay! Where the FUCK is Jesse Barbot! Get his ass in here right now!” True screamed at the top of her lungs.
We heard a shuffling behind us on the sand and watched Jesse scrambling into the tent, wearing his tuxedo pants and shirt. “I’m here, babe. What’s up?”
“What’s up?” True’s face got redder as she marched toward her fiancé. “What’s UP? I’ll tell you what’s up! My dress is falling apart, and your mother says it’s because of you.”
“I’m so sorry, ma chérie,” Charlotte cried as she followed True with a needle and thread. “I thought we finished off the beading last night.”
“How is this my fault?” Jesse shrugged. “Sounds like a dress problem.”
Charlotte glared at her son from the ground, then she stood, handed her needle and thread to an assistant, and walked calmly over to her son where she slapped him on the face.
“Putain!” She spat on the ground at his feet.
“I have coddled you too much, and you do this. To the woman you claim to love! I have failed as a woman and a mother. Truette, I am so sorry.”
Charlotte didn’t give her son a backward glance as she left the tent.
We all stood in shock, including True, as Jesse rubbed his face.
“That was a little extreme,” Jesse said. “So, are we getting married or what?”
True stepped into Jesse’s face and pointed at him. “You. Ruined. This. I know what you did to my first dress.”
Jesse paled.
“You could have told me, but you covered it up instead. You lied. You want to start our marriage with a lie,” True spat. “Well, good news. We’re not starting anything today. It’s ending. We’re through.” She tore her engagement ring off her finger and threw it in his face. “I’m out.”
I stood there, my heart pounding and my mouth agape, as Truette Heffernan walked away from Jesse Barbot.
For weeks, I fantasized about this moment, imagining the thrill of seeing their wedding plans unravel before my eyes.
The anticipation had been intoxicating, a bittersweet poison that burned in my veins.
But now, instead of the ecstatic joy I’d envisioned, an overwhelming wave of nausea washed over me.
Truette's shoulders slumped with defeat, her back turned to the world, while Jesse’s face reflected a silent desperation that twisted the knife deeper into my gut.
My wish had materialized, but it felt like a cruel joke; there was no exhilaration in their heartbreak.
Instead, I stood frozen, caught in a vortex of emotions—relief, pity, guilt—all mingling into a suffocating heaviness that made it hard to breathe.
Watching True walk away struck me like a thunderclap. This wasn’t the sweet, vindictive victory I had longed for. At that moment, as I felt their pain radiate through the air, I realized that sometimes, getting what you wished for doesn’t feel like a victory at all.
Joy turned to me with a furrowed brow.
The handprint on Jesse’s dark skin stood out as he rushed toward me and pulled me into his arms. Shock froze me to the spot, my hands pinned to my side, and that rotten egg smell threatening to upend all my good work with the ice chips.
This cannot be the way everything ends.
I felt an itch between my shoulder blades and turned my head to look back at the tent’s entrance.
Rowan stood there wearing a new suit and resignation on his face. I tried to raise my hand to stop him, but he turned to leave, stumbling on the sand but catching himself on the tent pole before disappearing from my life.
“Jesse, let me go,” I warned.
“Ken. I need comfort right now,” Jesse mumbled into my hair.
“And I need to throw up, so—”
He let me go so quickly. I barely made it to a nearby trash can.