Chapter 37
Captain Kendra’s Log: Check into that pirate degree
I returned to the marina in time to watch Pegleg Pete’s Pirate Extravaganza sail off into the sunset. Tears pricked the back of my eyes, but I refused to cry in public, where everyone could see me.
I would do that in the comfort of my home, in comfy sweats, with a panful of brownies. Like God intended.
After a hot shower that was too short, I dressed in comfy clothes and headed to my kitchen. I paused when I heard a knock at the door and looked through the window to see a rumpled Jesse standing on my doorstep.
I let him in, and he shuffled to the couch and flopped down face-first.
“So, how’s your day going?” I joked.
“Mmmhfrh.” Was all he said.
“Ice cream?” I offered. I went to the kitchen, opened the freezer, and found it had been defrosted.
Everything inside, including my favorite gelato flavors, was stacked neatly, with the labels facing out.
I bit my lip to stop crying and grabbed the first carton I saw.
Then, I opened the silverware drawer, which, as luck would have it, was fully stocked with clean forks, knives, and spoons.
I placed the ice cream on the counter and opened all the drawers and cabinets.
The only one that wasn’t tidy was my spice cabinet.
That one was a mess. I wanted to laugh, but it came out as a sob.
Rowan left that one so he could make me watch.
I rubbed the ache in my chest as I tried to wipe away my tears.
Fuck it. We’re all wallowing today.
I grabbed two spoons and the carton of gelato, then shoved Jesse’s ass with my foot. “Move over. You’re bogarting all my couch.”
“Don’t wanna,” Jesse complained, but he pulled his legs off and sat on the couch like a big boy.
“Here.” I handed him the gelato and one spoon. “Don’t eat it all. We’re both heartbroken, so that’s gotta last for this bitch session.”
“You’re too good for me, Ken.”
I sighed. “Yeah. I probably am.”
“Can we go for a ride? See the sunset?” Jesse asked, his blue eyes pleading with me in that way he knew I would not be able to resist.
“You’re going to make me work right now?” I raised an eyebrow. “Rude.”
“I’ll help.”
“Do you remember how?”
He nodded.
I had to disconnect the boat from shore power, water, and refuse and then fire up the motor to get us out of the marina.
It had been a hot minute since I had run an engine test, longer than the monthly requirement.
I’d been a little busy ruining mine and Jesse’s lives.
But everything ran right, at least with the boat, and we made it far enough offshore to have a fantastic view of the sunset over the Gulf.
We sat on the roof, bundled in blankets, as the cooler air began to blow in.
I took a bite of gelato and thought about the mess we were both in. “I’m sorry, Jesse. I should have told her it was my idea.”
He shook his head. “No. I should have told her what I did from the get-go. She’s right. That’s no way to start a marriage.”
“Honesty is important,” I agreed.
I had been honest with Rowan from the get-go. My goal was to break up Jesse and True’s wedding.
So why did I feel wretched?
We watched as the golden sun dipped lower to the waterline, turning everything pink, red, and deep purple before surrendering to navy and black.
The vibrant colors painted the sky like an exquisite masterpiece, yet each shade felt like a haunting reminder of what I had lost. One by one, stars began to wink into view overhead.
I lay back, my body heavy with sorrow, and stared at the sky, feeling impossibly small and achingly sad.
“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me this week, Ken.” Jesse laid back beside me.
“That’s what friends are for,” I answered.
“This was above and beyond friendship.”
“Meh. Potato, poh-tah-toe.”
Jesse rolled to his side and propped his head on his hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”
“See what sooner?”
“How special you are.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m serious,” he said. “I’ve been thinking about our plan to start the charter business. And well, this might be a good time to do that since we’re both starting over. We could start over together.”
Alarm bells went off in my head. “Huh.”
“Yeah!” He wiggled closer to me. “You run the boat stuff. I take care of schmoozing the customers. I’m real good at that.”
The alarm bells turned to a full-on klaxon that blared in time with my heartbeat. “That sounds,” I struggled for a word. “Something.”
He took my pained smile as an invitation to kiss me. I saw his face moving closer and panicked. I slapped my hand over his mouth. “Stop, Jesse.”
He peeled my hand away. “I don’t want to. I should have done this sooner. Let’s talk about it. Don’t you want to hear what I have to say?”
“Hear how I’m the rebound? Your fiancée left you. Two hours ago. What are you doing?”
Jesse sat up and crossed his legs. “I’m suddenly realizing what an amazing person you are, Ken. I should have seen it sooner, and I’m sorry, but I’m here now. I know the timing sucks, but when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone—”
I slapped my hand over his mouth again. “Don’t you dare quote When Harry Met Sally to me, mister.
It’s my favorite movie, and I made you watch it a dozen times in high school.
I know that movie backward and forward. Use your own damn words.
Better yet, don’t.” I released his face and stood. “I don’t want to hear it.”
He hopped up. “Don’t you? I thought you wanted me.”
I gasped. “What did you say?” I fumed and realized I didn’t want to be a mile offshore with this lunatic, so I hurried downstairs and started preparing the boat to return to the marina.
“Kendra, don’t be mad. So, I’ve known for a little while,” Jesse pleaded as he followed me around the boat.
“We’re done.”
“What did that Aussie asshole tell you?”
I paused in my pre-boating prep work. “What did you say?”
“Did that asshole tell you about the backup plan? I was fucking with him.”
“What backup plan?” My stomach plummeted when I saw the flicker of regret flash on his face. “You called me your backup plan?”
He shrugged. “I was joking!”
I yanked the closest fire extinguisher off the wall and stalked closer to him. “Joking. Really. When did you do this joking?”
“Last night. We were having a few beers. I was teasing him because I knew it would get his goat, right? He’s so growly, like a bear or a caveman.
My Kendra, grrrrr,” Jesse growled. “It’s ridiculous.
Who talks like that? Anyhoo, I was poking the bear and told him you were my backup plan to see what he’d do. ”
“I see.” I rolled my shoulders back.
Jesse smiled. “Yeah. And by the way, did you know he hasn’t been all that honest with you either.”
A chill skated across my skin. “Is that so?”
“Uh-huh. He told you his last name is Rafferty, but it’s Seeger. He grew up in Tampa. His dad is like some billionaire ship guy,” Jesse said. “Probably thinks he can do whatever he wants because he’s rich.”
I put down the fire extinguisher on a table. “Jesse. I’m going to say something to you, and I need you to listen to me. Really listen. Think you can do that?”
He grinned at me as he nodded.
I swallowed. “I have spent my entire adult life pining after you. I thought I was in love with you when we were kids, but I never said anything because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.
It’s a small island. That’s pretty close quarters if things go wrong.
But when you went to college, the night before you left, I could have said something, but I didn’t.
I’ve been kicking myself about that ever since.
If I waited patiently, I thought you’d come to your senses and see me for who I was.
But you never did. In the years we’ve been friends, you never considered me that way.
The worst part is that I now realize you did consider me, but I wasn’t enough for you. ”
Jesse stepped closer and placed his hands on my shoulders. “That’s not true.”
“Then, there’s the other side of me. The part that hesitated every time I could have said something.
I had the perfect opportunity to tell you before you left for college, but I didn’t.
Why was that? Could it be that my subconscious knew you weren’t the one for me?
And it has taken my consciousness this freaking long to catch up with it?
Huh. Maybe Rowan was right.” I shook my head and looked to the sky.
“Do you know how long I’ve waited for you to make a move?
Here we are. You’re making your move. And the only person I can think of is Rowan. ”
“That guy,” Jesse grumbled. “Maybe if you let me kiss you, I’d make you forget all about him.”
I stepped away from my second-oldest friend. “Doubtful. He showed me something that you never did in all the time I’ve known you.”
“Oh yeah?” Jesse sneered. “What’s that?”
“He made me feel loved, just as I am. I didn’t have to wait for it.
I didn’t have to walk on eggshells for it.
Matter of fact, I’ve shown him my absolute worst side, and he stuck by me.
He even entertained you for an entire night because I asked him to.
” I snort-laughed. “Well, I did offer him an incentive. But that’s beside the point.
He did it. And I fell in love with him somewhere in the middle of all this nonsense.
I know he’s too good for me. But I learned a valuable lesson from him.
I will no longer accept bread crumbs and scraps from someone who doesn’t see my value.
You don’t deserve me. And this means we’re no longer friends - you and me.
Our lopsided relationship is done.” I picked up the fire extinguisher and pointed it at him. “Now, get the fuck off my boat.”
Jesse’s jaw dropped. “We’re a mile offshore!”
“Hope you’re a strong swimmer,” I said. “Now, walk the plank.”