Chapter 15
HEL
I checked the countdown timer on my phone, reassured that Clara was still safely within her four-hour window. I had no idea what would happen if she ran over, but I wasn't willing to find out.
Garmr had decided that there was nothing interesting about Clara's flat about an hour ago, and was curled up in his pen snoring away while cuddling his worm.
I had no idea why that was the toy of the moment, but he loved that thing, and I was loath to part him from it.
There was a part of me that wanted to buy a second one in case something happened to the original, but no doubt he'd move on to a new favourite as soon as I did.
In that, we were alike.
My gaze drifted to Clara. Or maybe not so alike after all. I had no real idea what was going on inside me. I wasn't used to emotions like this. But Longmu was right. I didn't know what to make of feelings like this because I avoided getting them in the first place, not because I didn't feel them.
There was a peaceful expression on Clara's face, which didn't give much away about whether or not the potion was working. I knew next to nothing about this, and while I could pretend that it was my curiosity that had brought me through the door of her shop, I would be lying to myself to say that.
Garmr let out a sleepy woof, and I leaned into his pen to give him a scratch, glad that I'd had him with me through the centuries, even if it was a little frustrating when he reverted to a puppy and I had to teach him not to pee inside all over again.
Without him, I would have been totally alone, without anyone to share my life with.
My gaze slipped back to Clara just as she let out a loud sob.
I was on my feet within seconds and hurrying over to her side. One thing we hadn't talked about is how it was best to wake her up. I didn't want to spook her, but the crying seemed to be an issue.
I touched her shoulder and shook her gently. "Clara?"
She murmured something in her sleep, but it didn't stop the tears which were lying on her cheeks.
"Clara," I repeated more firmly.
She gasped and opened her eyes, staring right up at me with a little bit of a confused expression on her face. "Hel?"
"Yes, I'm here," I said, my voice a little hoarse, though I didn't know why. "I'm going to go make you some tea, okay?"
She nodded and tried to sit up, looking more than a little groggy.
I was a little nervous to leave her, but knew that tea would make things better, and that was a good reason to leave her.
I didn't linger in the kitchen any longer than I had to, glad that I thought to look for where everything was earlier.
I pressed a mug into her hands and sat down next to her, resisting the urge to pull her into my arms, which was much stronger than I expected it to be.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.
She nodded. "But not if it makes you uncomfortable. I know you don't like personal conversation."
"I think we're a bit past that." This was dangerous territory, and yet I was inviting it in. I didn't want to see her crying. "Did the potion work?"
"Yes." She took a shaky breath. "It worked perfectly. And just like you said with holding a memory in my mind as I fell asleep."
"So you saw your dad?"
"As if he were still alive." She smiled sadly. "He looked better than the last time I saw him."
"What happened?"
"He got sick. He was for a few years, but then it got really bad towards the end," she said.
"It was the same with my mother," I whispered. "I begged Loki to make her immortal so that she wouldn't die, but she refused to accept it when Loki tried to give it."
"I'm sorry."
"There's nothing to be sorry for. It was my mother's choice whether to take immortality or not."
"I have a question, though it might be too personal," Clara said tentatively.
"I just saw you wake up from a dream crying, I think you can ask."
"You call Thor uncle sometimes, but you don't really refer to Loki as your father in the same way," she said.
"That's not a question."
"I guess my question is why," she responded.
I sighed and leaned back against the sofa.
"Affection, mostly. Loki was never the most attentive parent, and I haven't really had a real relationship with them as.
..an adult? Is that how I should be referring to my godhood?
Who knows. Anyway, I do have a relationship with my uncle, but after a while, we looked the same age, and people would ask if we were together.
So I started calling him uncle to make it clear that no, he was not my lover. It stuck after that."
"Is he really your uncle?" she asked.
"Yes. Or at least as far as any of us remember. He's a good man. Your cousin is in safe hands."
"I know that just from watching them together."
"They are sickeningly in love," I agreed. "He's been smitten since the moment he met her. He was showing me her sculptures on his phone." I smiled at the memory, especially how he'd denied that he was feeling anything towards Daisy at first. Maybe we were alike in that.
"I saw the competition show they were on together, I think it was obvious to everyone," Clara said.
I laughed. "It really was. But that's not what we're supposed to be talking about. What happened in your dream?"
"I talked to my dad." A soft smile spread over her face. "I told him about my life, and he talked about memories he had. Maybe it's all in my head, but I don't care if that's true. It was wonderful."
"I guess that means I'm going to need to get you some more veillock then?" I asked.
"If you wouldn't mind. But I can get Daisy to do it next time Thor takes her to the god realm."
"I'm happy to do it for you."
"That sounds like a personal connection," she teased.
"Yes, it does." And not one that's anywhere near as scary as I first thought.
"I thought of my final question," Clara said, taking me by surprise.
"What?"
"You said I had five questions the other day, and I didn't get to ask my final one," she responded.
"Oh, I'd entirely forgotten." It had been something I'd thought of in the moment to try and keep things casual between us, and it clearly hadn't worked, considering where I was now.
"I should have guessed. Well, anyway, I thought of the fifth one I wanted to ask."
"What is it?" I asked curiously.
"Will you go out to dinner with me? As a date. I mean, if I haven't misjudged the situation completely. If I have, you can tell me."
The question should send me into a panic. I didn't do dates. They were far too personal and led to the opportunity for way too many feelings, and that was something I wanted to avoid at all costs. But it didn't feel like that at all, taking me by surprise.
"You haven't misread the situation," I said slowly. "So yes, I will go on a date with you."
Clara raised an eyebrow. "I thought you'd take more convincing than that."
"I might. But I'm going to let you convince me on the date."
She laughed and reached out to touch my hand in a very sweet gesture. "I look forward to it."
The funny thing was that I was looking forward to that too.