Chapter 14
CLARA
I straightened out my dress and fussed with the cushions on one of the sofas. Maybe I should be suggesting that Hel watched me sleep in the bedroom, but that felt oddly intimate, even if we had already had sex.
The doorbell rang before I could think of anything else and I headed over to my flat's front door, pulling it open to reveal the woman who had been an almost constant in my thoughts for a while now, and a bouncing puppy.
"I'm sorry I had to bring him," she said.
"It's fine. I like dogs. Why don't you come in?" I waved her into the flat, a little worried about what she was going to think about my small flat with lots of clutter and things on the walls, when I'd seen how pristine her home was.
"This is lovely," she said. "I didn't know what to bring to a potion-watching evening."
"I can see that," I said, trying to reconcile the elegant woman with the two large tote bags she had slung over her arms. One of them seemed to be full of things for Garmr, but I had no idea what was in the other. "Let me take one of those."
She let out a sigh of relief as I took the bag full of puppy stuff, and rearranged the other so that she could control Garmr more. "I brought some pee mats in case it's a situation where I can't leave you at all once you've taken the potion," she said.
"You should be okay to take him out," I promised. "Or go to the bathroom yourself."
"Oh, good. I also brought a book and a yoga mat."
I raised an eyebrow. "You want to do yoga while I sleep?"
"Is that weird?"
"It's not what I expected you to do."
Her lips quirked up into a smile. "How do you think I stay so flexible?"
My cheeks heated in response to her statement as I was reminded of that being true. And how I knew that. "Well, erm, if you want to do yoga, then you can."
"Thanks. But I also might just read my book and eat a big bar of chocolate."
"Those are two different extremes."
"That's how you get the best of life. Wait, Garmr, no." She tugged to stop him from disappearing under the sofa. "So, how do you want to do this?"
"Erm, so I can show you where everything is, and then we can do the potion testing. Unless you want something to eat first, or anything like that..."
"Maybe after? You should have someone with you to make sure there are no lingering side effects."
"Right, yes." I took a deep breath. "Sorry, this is potion-testing nerves."
"Have any of your previous potions gone wrong?" she asked as she set her bag down. "Would you hold Garmr for me?" She held out the lead.
I took it from her and watched as she unpacked a foldable playpen.
"Yes, one's gone wrong," I responded. "I ended up having a nightmare and screaming my head off for about an hour. I couldn't speak for days while my voice was healing."
"I should have brought earplugs then," Hel said.
I laughed. "Potentially. Though I don't think this one is going to do that.
I cross-referenced veillock with all of the other ingredients in the potion to make sure it didn't have any known side effects.
The only thing I haven't done is check that I'm not allergic to it.
but I don't have any allergies, so it should be fine. "
"I'm sure a lot of people say that before learning they're deathly allergic to something," Hel responded as she finished putting the pen together.
She lined the ground with a grey blanket and took her puppy back from me to put him in the pen.
"It's not perfect, but you can entertain yourself there for a few hours.
I brought your favourite toys." She pulled out a fluffy worm and dropped it into the pen.
The tiny puppy pounced on it and let out a low grumble that was probably supposed to be a growl but didn't have the gravitas to it.
"The kitchen is through there," I said, waving to it. "You can help yourself to snacks and coffee, though I'm afraid it's instant and I don't know how old it is."
She laughed. "If I come over again, I'll do something about that."
I locked gazes with her as her words sank in. If she came again. It was a far cry from saying that she was only interested in one night and nothing more.
Unable to continue with the intensity of her eyes, I broke the connection and continued to fuss around the room.
"Are you okay?" Hel asked, looking up from her spot by the floor by Garmr, who was also looking at me with puzzled puppy eyes.
"I'm nervous," I admitted. "What if it doesn't work?"
"Then you can try again. None of your other attempts has worked," she pointed out.
"But you gave me the veillock."
"So? I can get you more if you want to experiment more with it, or I can get you one of the other aides that necromancers use to talk to the dead. It isn't the only one, just the one I've always used."
"As simple as that?"
She shrugged. "I think you're making it for a good reason. Why wouldn't I want to help with that? If it works and I think it could help people who come to my mortuary, I could even suggest it to them. Helping people cope with grief is a noble calling."
"I suppose." I sat down on the sofa and took a shaky breath. "What if it does work?"
"Isn't that what you want?"
"Yes. But I've been so focused on getting it to work that I haven't really thought about what to say if I did end up seeing my dad."
"Ah." A contemplative look crossed over Hel's face until she pushed a strand of hair out of her face.
"If there's anything specific you want to say to him, then you should write it down before you take the potion, that way it's set in your mind and you don't have to worry about forgetting it the same way.
If you don't have anything specific and just want to talk to him, then I'd let the dream guide you.
That's what they say dreams are, right?"
I nodded. "Right, yes. I need to let the dream guide me."
"If you're not ready to do this, you don't have to either," she said. "Just in case you want that out."
"No. I want this." I picked up the vial of potion and turned it over in my hands. "I should just do it."
"Yes," she said. "But first, tell me what I should be watching for while you're asleep."
"Right, yes, I should have started with that. I'm just nervous. So anything that looks abnormal. And if I sleep for more than four hours, then that's also a problem for a test potion. If anything looks suspicious, try to wake me first. If that fails..."
"Use necromancy," she joked.
"Would that work?"
"If you were on the edge of life and death, yes. If you're just sick, not really."
"Good to know." I settled onto the sofa. "All right, I think I'm ready."
Hel nodded and took a seat on the chair opposite the sofa.
I pulled the stopper off the potion and took a sip.
The taste was a little sharper than the usual sleep potions I made, but it was easy to drink.
Once I was done, I set it down on the table beside the sofa and lay down, pulling a blanket over me.
Despite the fact that Hel and I hadn't known one another long, I could feel the comfort of her being here more acutely than I expected.
And regardless of anything else, I was glad that I didn't have to test this alone.