Chapter eighteen
Tara
This wasn’t how I imagined things be. When Devyn left for Switzerland, I honestly thought things would settle down. Not because I didn’t care about her because I did. But for years it felt like every disagreement between me and Caine somehow circled back to his daughter.
Now that she was gone, the house was quieter, and the arguments were fewer so I figured Caine and I would finally have more time together.
I couldn’t have been more wrong. The man was never home… ever. And when he was, he barely had time for me because he was always on his phone. If he wasn’t handling business, he was doing God knows what… meetings, phone calls, and dinner appointments.
At first I ignored the late nights and even earlier mornings. Then I got annoyed. And now, I am frustrated. I walked into his office and stopped when I noticed an open suitcase on the sofa. My eyebrows immediately pulled together because where the hell was he going?
“What is this?” I asked.
Caine looked up from his desk. “What?”
“The suitcase.”
“Oh,” he simply replied.
My stomach tightened because that wasn’t the response of somebody who forgot they were traveling. That was the response of somebody who thought I already knew but I didn’t.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“Zurich.”
I scrunched my face up because I knew I must have heard him wrong. How could he be going to Zurich and not have mentioned it to me?
“What?”
“I’m going to Zurich.”
I stared at him in surprise. “As in Switzerland?”
“Yeah.”
My confusion immediately disappeared and was replaced by understanding.
“So, you’re going to see Devyn.”
A small smile appeared on his face. The first genuine smile I had seen from him all week.
“Yeah.”
I couldn’t even be mad about that… at least not at first. Because I knew how much he missed her. The man talked about her every single day. If she didn’t answer a text fast enough, he got worried.
If she sounded tired on the phone, he got worried. If she sounded happy when they spoke, he analyzed why she was so happy. The obsession was ridiculous, but honestly, it was kind of sweet.
“When are we leaving? Because I haven’t packed anything yet.”
The question left my mouth naturally and automatically because I knew I was going too. But when Caine looked up and frowned, I knew he was coming with some bullshit.
“We?” he asked with a raised brow. “What do you mean we?”
My mood changed immediately.
His expression told me everything.
“Oh no!”
“Tara...”
“No. You do not get to Tara me and then leave me behind,” I fussed as I crossed my arms.
“No.”
“What do you mean no?” I asked. “You’re going without me?”
“Yeah.”
That annoyed me because that was not the reaction I was expecting or looking for. Why the hell couldn’t I go with him?
The single word hit me like a slap in the face. I stared at him. “Why not?” I asked.
“Because I want some time alone with my daughter.”
I laughed and not because what he said was funny either because I was irritated.
“You think I don’t want to see her too?” I asked.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Then what exactly are you saying?” I asked.
Caine leaned back in his chair and stared at me. “I’m saying I want this trip to be about me and Devyn… without any distractions,” he replied.
The answer hurt my feelings more than I expected. I wasn’t prepared for that.
“Wow.”
His expression immediately softened. “Look Tara...”
“No. It’s okay. I get it,” I said with an attitude as I held up a hand.
“You’re making this into something it ain’t.”
“Oh, am I?” I asked.
“Yes.”
I shook my head. “Well, I don’t think so.”
For several seconds neither of us spoke. Then I laughed again without any humor.
“That’s crazy.”
“What is?” Caine asked.
“The fact that you don’t see it.”
Caine frowned. “See what exactly?”
“Devyn leaves and suddenly I’m standing on the outside again. Always the bad guy,” I said.
His jaw tightened. “That’s not what’s happening,” he denied.
“It sure feels like it.”
The words slipped out before I could stop them. But even so, they were true. His daughter left and because it was my idea at first, somehow I still lost. I walked over to the window and folded my arms while looking out.
“I thought things would be different,” I said sadly.
“What things?”
“Around here, between us,” I replied.
I hated how quiet it got whenever real feelings entered the conversation. Finally, Caine spoke, “This ain’t about us Tara.”
I laughed. “Everything is about us.”
“Well, not this time,” he stated, his voice sharpened slightly. “This is about my daughter.”
There was that reminder. The reality I kept forgetting. Before he was my man, Caine was her father. And no matter how much I loved him, I was never going to win a competition against that. The realization sat heavily in my chest.
“I just miss her.”
The confession didn’t surprise me, especially since he had been whining about her for some time now. Caine’s expression softened immediately.
“I know,” I said.
“No, you don’t,” he countered.
“Yeah, I do.”
For the first time all afternoon, neither of us argued.
The truth was that we both missed Devyn.
That was why I didn’t want him to send her away when he did.
She and I had just started getting along.
Now that she blamed me for her father sending her away, we would probably never be able to repair the bond that we almost had.
The only difference between me and Caine was that he had the power to get on a plane and go see her anytime he felt like it. I didn’t.
After a long silence, I sighed. “When do you leave?”
“Friday.” I nodded then turned towards the door. “Tara.”
I stopped. “What?” I mumbled.
“Don’t be mad.”
I looked back at him then shook my head. “I’m gonna try not to be,” I said.
The corner of his mouth twitched into not quite a smile, but close. As I left the room, one thought kept running through my mind. For months I thought Devyn was the cause of me and Caine’s arguments. I thought with her out of the way, he and I would finally be able to get closer.
Turns out, when Devyn went away, she took a piece of Caine with her. He ain’t been the same since…