Chapter nineteen
Caine
I was nervous as fuck and that annoyed me. I wasn’t nervous before meetings, negotiations or making decisions that affected millions of dollars. But right now, standing in the middle of a boarding school campus waiting to see my fourteen-year-old daughter had my stomach tied in knots.
It had been seven and a half months since we last saw each other. Almost eight months since she cried in the stables. Over half a year since she begged me not to send her away. Seven and a half months since I left her in Zurich, Switzerland all by herself.
Since then, we talked, texted, and spoke on the phone, but it just wasn’t the same… not even close. A woman from the administration building smiled politely as she walked beside me.
“They should be coming this way in a moment,” she said.
I nodded as my eyes were already scanning the campus looking for my little girl. Students moved between buildings… some carried books while others laughed with their friends.
A few sat on the grass enjoying the warm weather. Then I finally spotted her and for a second, I almost forgot how to breathe.
Devyn was walking beside her roommate, who I recognized from the first day we dropped her off. They were talking and laughing. Her hair was longer and she looked a little taller, a bit older, and definitely more confident.
For a moment, I just stood there staring at her while she interacted with her friend. She actually looked happy. When did all that happen? When did my little girl start looking so grown?
As if she felt me watching her, Devyn glanced up and our eyes met. She completely froze. The conversation she was having immediately stopped and for one terrifying second, I thought she was going to frown, but then her face lit up like a Christmas tree.
“Daddy?!” she yelled.
Before I could respond, she dropped her bag and took off running in my direction. She was actually running faster than I had ever seen her run before.
“Daddy!” she yelled again.
I barely had time to open my arms before she slammed into me.
I caught her automatically, holding her tighter than I probably should have.
For several seconds neither of us spoke.
We just held each other… my daughter, my baby, the same little girl I had been missing every day for the past seven and a half months.
“When did you get here?” she asked excitedly.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “About an hour ago,” I replied.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
“Because I wanted to surprise you.”
“Well, it worked!” she cried. “You definitely surprised me!”
I smiled and hugged her tighter.
For the first time in months, I wasn’t getting one-word answers, and she wasn’t rushing me off the phone. I wasn’t wondering what she was thinking or if she still hated me. She was right here standing directly in front of me, and she looked very happy to see me.
She was talking a mile a minute, just like she used to.
“How long are you staying?” Devyn asked.
“A few days.”
“Really?” she asked with an excited look on her face.
“Yeah, really. I missed my baby girl,” I said.
“I figured that or you wouldn’t be here right now,” she said as she hugged me again.
The smile that spread across her face made every mile of that trip worth it.
“Did Tara come with you?” Devyn asked.
“No.”
“Oh.” She raised an eyebrow.
The answer came so quickly that I almost laughed. Then she grabbed my hand.
“Come on,” she said.
“Come on where?” I asked.
“I gotta show you everything.”
I looked at her roommate, who stood beside her looking amused.
“Sorry,” Devyn said. “You remember my roommate, Sahara right?”
“Yeah. It’s nice to see you again, Sahara.”
“Nice to see you too, Mr. Vaughn,” Sahara said.
I couldn’t stop smiling to finally be in my daughter’s presence again.
The next two hours were spent following Devyn around campus… literally. She dragged me everywhere from the dorm to the library to the cafeteria. We went everywhere.
I was beginning to realize she got more from me than I had ever admitted. A little while later she showed me the stables. Those hit me a little differently because they reminded me of home and of the estate.
Of a boy named Dylan who used to spend every afternoon around horses, but I quickly pushed the thought away because today wasn’t about that. Today was about her.
“I ride three times a week.”
I looked around, admiring the stables. “They got you spoiled over here too huh?” I asked.
She smiled and replied, “Maybe.”
By late afternoon she had shown me half of Zurich or at least that was how it felt. The most surprising thing wasn’t the campus, the school, or the city. It was the fact that Devyn looked happy. And I could tell that she wasn’t pretending.
The realization caught me off guard because somewhere along the way I had convinced myself that she was still miserable. That she spent every day counting down the days until she could come home. Clearly that wasn’t true and was all in my head.
Of course, she missed home. I knew that, but she had built a life here too. She had friends, activities, memories and a routine. She wasn’t just surviving anymore. She was living.
That realization brought an unexpected feeling into my system... relief. It made me feel good to know that she hadn’t been across the world crying and depressed. Maybe I hadn’t ruined her life after all.
That evening we sat outside a small restaurant overlooking the city. The view was incredible with mountains stretched across the distance. The lights below sparkled against the darkening sky. For several minutes we just sat there enjoying dinner.
Then I looked over at her. She was smiling at something on her phone… probably a text from Sahara or one of her other friends. Maybe it was even Dylan. The thought still irritated me just a little, but with him out there and her out here, I really wasn’t worried.
“You seem happy,” I said.
She looked up and her smile faded slightly. Not because she looked upset, but because I could see that she was thinking. Her eyes moved towards the city and the mountains. Towards the life she had built here.
Then she looked back at me.
“Honestly Daddy, I am happy.”
The answer hit me harder than I expected because it was honest. She wasn’t forcing it or just being polite or telling me what she thought I wanted to hear. And for the first time since January, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a very long time… peace.
Because my daughter was okay. She had grown. She was learning and thriving. Exactly like I hoped she would. The crazy part was that I almost missed it because I had been too busy worrying that she hated me.
Maybe she was still upset. And she probably still disagreed with my decision. Maybe she always would. But sitting here across from her, watching her smile and talking about her life in Zurich, I realized something important. I hadn’t lost my daughter… not even close.
And for the first time since my daughter left, I could finally breathe.